what are some choices i should let my son have at 2 and a half?
let him pick what shirt to wear. pick out 2 shirts that you don't mind him wearing, and let him pick. let him pick out what fruit/veggie to have for lunch. let him pick out his pajamas for the evening.
You can give lots of "choices" at this age. Do you want milk or water. Do you want the orange or blue cup. Do you want to take a nap now or in five minutes. Do you want to play with this toy or that. Want to wear red shirt or blue. You get the idea. Basically give two choices that you approve of for anything you are doing during the day. This teaches kids how to make decisions, gives them a feeling of not being dictated to. Good luck!
"Do you want to play with this toy?" Yes, give it to him. No, put it down and walk away.
"Do you want this drink of water?" Yes, give it to him. No, put it down and walk away.
IF it is something you want him to have a choice of refusing or doing, give it to him. But do not give him two things to choose from, in addition to whether or not he is going to do it or refuse. It frustrates him and makes your life harder. He will have plenty of time to make choices in his life. He doesn't need to start yet.
So you don't want to ask him if he wants to go to bed or not. That's not his choice. It's yours. Tell him what it will be.
Don't ask him if he wants to eat or not. Again, that's not his decision.
Only ask him about things that don't matter. "Oh, look at this fun toy. Do you want to play with it?" Doesn't matter to you if he does or doesn't. Either choice is not going to hurt him. And he doesn't have to look at TWO (or more) fun toys and decide which one he wants to play with. Because he will WANT to play with all of them. And he's being made to choose.
Does that make sense? I feel like I am not explaining it well enough. But if you have ever been at the store where you hear the two yo screaming at the top of his lungs and the mom saying over and over again, "Which one do you want, sweetie? Do you want Oreos? Do you want Chocolate Chips? Which one? This one? This one? Which one? Do you want the Oreos? You like Oreos? Don't scream. Just tell me which one you want. Do you want these? If you don't stop screaming and tell me, we won't get either of them."
AAAAUUUURRRGGGHHHH It makes ME want to scream at her! The child cannot make that choice, he wants both of them! And then the mother says he won't be getting either?!? No wonder he's screaming!
A wonderful book to read which may give you more insight into this is called "Stress Free Parenting in 12 Simple Steps". I highly recommend it.
Blessings to you and your little one.
Give him choices where you're ok with him picking any available option. Generally the rule of thumb is 1 option per year of age. I let my son (also 2.5 right now) pick between 2 shirts when he gets dressed in the morning. He can choose whether he has salami or turkey lunchmeat. He can choose whether he wants a drink of water. He can choose whether he wants to wear shoes and socks or sandals (this option will of course not be available when it gets cold out). He is not allowed to choose whether to sit down for lunch. He is not allowed to choose when bedtime is. He is allowed to choose between 2 books for a bedtime story. He is not allowed to choose whether his teeth get brushed at night. He is allowed to help brush if he lets us brush first. Just start thinking through your day and different times when there is a real choice your child could make and you'll probably find lots of opportunities for decision making that a 2.5 year old can handle.
Oh, and if he's taking a while to decide on something, I'll say that if he takes too long, mommy's going to decide on this. I don't do two fun options and he gets neither if he doesn't pick. That's just cruel. Decision making can still be difficult at this age. But that doesn't mean that he can't pick between crackers or chips. Just that I have to be prepared to make the choice if it overwhelms him.
Honestly, I don't think a 2.5 year old needs to make too many decisions or choices.
At this age letting him have choices about things that aren't life altering, actually will give him self confidence and may make him more agreeable when it's time to do something he may not like. Everyday give him as many chances to make a choice as you can. Pick out two outfits and ask, which one would you like to wear. Would like waffles or cereal for breakfast, juice or milk. Would you like to take a nap now or in 15 minutes, would you like to pick up your toys, or should I? But i do, I keep them (this really works on my son lol)
Teaching them about choices and compromise is a big thing, start now! And have fun with it!
