Ideas on How to Let My Daughter Choose Her Own Clothes

My daughter has a dresser with all her clothes in it. I pick out two outfits and she can pick from those two. Sometimes if we're staying home, I just let her pick whatever she wants. All of her good clothes are hanging up, so it's just playclothes in the dresser.

When my daughter was little, I had 2 crates in the bottom of her closet-- one with tops and one with bottoms. She was allowed to pick one thing from each crate. When I wanted her to wear a dress (rare) I'd pick her up and have her point to the one she wanted. I didn't care if she picked mismatched outfits because her independance was more important to me. She is now a very creative artsy girl who looks like a crayon box when she gets dressed and I love it

When my son was that age I hung one of those canvas shelf things in his closet. (like 5 or 6 cubbies). I would put an outfit in each cubby and and refill the ones he chose. So he always had several things to choose from without digging through all his neatly folded clothes.

HTH
T.

My son's dresser has 4 drawer--we have bottoms in one drawer, tops in another drawer, and socks/undies/pjs in another drawer (the top/highest drawer is for my use and has things like sheets in it). My daughter's dresser has 6 smaller drawers, so we split long sleeve and short sleeve shirts, and also split pjs and socks/undies/tights (one drawer for me still, its' got clothes that are a bit too big). Dresses and button-up shirts are in the closet. We don't have that many clothes that are not in circulation, but I like big clear plastic bins that can go in the closet--easy to see what's inside.

These are different ways we've gone about balancing our daughter's dress-herself needs:
--"You choose a (long sleeve/short sleeve) shirt, and I'll choose the pants today." (If she chooses first, I can choose a coordinating color.)
--or alternately, "Choose a pair of pants and I'll choose your shirt."
--pick out two outfits and have her choose between them
--"You can choose whatever you like to wear today, but it must be pants and long sleeves (or shorts and short sleeves)." ... and don't worry about the color combination, she'll enjoy the independence and it doesn't really matter if her colors don't match for a day.
--"We need to pick a dress today. Which three do you like?" and then I choose from one of those she picked out.

We got to the blessed point where I could say "go get dressed, it's going to be cold today," and she would come back in appropriate clothes. Now my daughter's 6 and has lately been wanting me to pick her clothes again before she gets dressed, and I'm thinking, "just get dressed already!" One day you'll enjoy that independence of hers! :)

Lay out 2 choices and let her pick. Later, she will be a point where she can make bigger choices. As for the off season clothes, yes, I place in a bag under the bed. She rarely makes it back in them for the next season, in which case, they are passed on to my cousin's children.

can you not just offer her a choice of 2 or 3 outfits? i don't have a girl, my 3 1/2 yo boy is SO not into clothes lol. but just an idea. good luck!

**************Hey all Mamas*******************************

Just FYI, that astra chick does nothing but leave ridiculous remarks that are often completely inappropriate. i have flagged several of her messages as inappropriate and hope you will join me!

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I have a drawer for bottoms and one for top. They are in a single layer so she can see all her choices. I have the other clothes in one of those sweater organizers that hangs in her closet. After a few weeks I switch out the clothes so she has new choices. All her "good" clothes are on hangers that she can't reach. When she needs to be a little more dressed up, I give her the choice of a few dressy clothes from the closet. And BTW, she probably will not grow out of this stage, so be prepared for many battles with clothing choices in the future :)

i have all my daughters' outfits hanging in the closet. i match the outfits, so whatever they choose they choose as a whole. i have drawers where i put sock, undershirts, pjs, and winter gear (mittens, gloves what not). but they pick the outfit from the closet. for example, if they like this specific skirt, by saying that, they have chosen the entire outfit. in the beginning when they started showing interest in wanting to choose, i found that by the time the choice was made i was stuck with a pile of freshly laundered clothes on the floor, because they wanted this skirt, but that top, and those socks with those shoes. insane.
we don't deal witrh closet in circulation, by the time the season is over the clothes have shrunk or faded so we donate everything at the end of the season.
their coats and winter pants are in another room, and they stay there year round. i know, i am very disorganized, but my system works for me.

My son has 4 drawers, one for shirts, one for pants, one for pjs and one for undier/socks. He puts on what he wants, and we go. Now, if he has school he knows no holes or stains, and if it is a special occasion I will ask he pick a hanging shirt, but other than that my boys have always had free choice in clothing. They do not always match, but they are always themselves.

Astra. must not have a child that likes to choose yet..

You are smart to do this, it will help your child make decisions, be organized and giving her a choice helps to alleviate power struggles. I agree just put them in different drawers by items. Then your child can pick one and then the other.

I did not care so much about matching. But for those occasions that I wanted to guide our daughter, I would ask her, may I help pick for you today? She always said yes..

When I cleaned out her drawers or toys, I always did that when she was not home.. She very rarely asked for anything that was not there.. If she did, I would tell her it was still in the wash. This allowed me to either help her forget or I could go and find the item..

As a nanny, I often suggested using a basket, and placing two choices of weather-appropriate clothes in the basket, no more. Two shirts, two pants (bottoms--skirts, shorts, whatever), 1 pair each of socks and underwear. Unless they have a favorite "must wear" item, two choices is plenty. I found that when parents let their children go through the drawers, the kids were pretty overwhelmed (and met with a lot of "no's" because the kids don't know how to chose clothes for the day's weather. ) Having two "good choices" is a great way to make the experience a successful one for both parent and child. Good luck!

Well, I have 2 sons (5 and 3.5) and they pick out all their own clothes and dress themselves. They each have a 3 drawer dresser. Top=socks/undies, middle=shirts, bottom=pants. I trade out for the seasons and store clothing that my little boy will grow into in big tubs. We hang up the few "nice" shirts they have. We don't really dress up a lot and mostly like to hang out at the park and in the backyard, so they aren't required to match or even look "nice" most days. My little boy has a favorite pair of sweatpants that he would wear every day if he could.
I have found that it is simpler and worthwhile to let them choose what they want to wear.

I used to hang my girls' dresses and nicer outfits in their closet. Then they could see at a glance what they had and choose what to wear. We had a second, lower set of poles installed in the closet to double hanging space and make clothing easier for the younger children to reach.

Pants and shirts that matched were hung together on one hanger, or a set of matching outfits could be hung on a cascading hanger.

Clothes not in circulation went in labeled boxes, organized by size.

We installed hooks in each closet. I use them to set out my outfit for the next day. My boys use them to hang barely worn clothes when they switch from nice outfits to play clothes or workout gear midday.

My kids know where their clothes are & get something themselves. Can she open the drawers yet? If so, put that season's clothes in the bottom drawers for her to reach & let her go. Or is it that she has to match? If that's the case, just give her a couple to choose from. I also just rotate the clothes when I put them away. That way they aren't wearing the same thing all the time.

Depends how long you have to let her pick out her own clothes (or how long you want to give her). With my daughter I pick out two shirts for her and two pants or skirts which all would look ok together. Then I let her pick one of each item to wear, since she only has two choices she will not take as long (usually) if she does then I give her 5 mins or mommy will pick. Sometimes before we even get dressed in the morning she has already gone in her shirt and pants/skirt drawers and picked out what she wants to wear, in that case I am fine with it. With socks I have changed over to all white, less of a hassle, underware it is a choice between dora and tinker bell so simple choice (if she is taking to long I once again take out two and tell her to pick in five minutes or mommy will pick).

With clothes that are not in the circulation due to not in season or too big I put in a rubbermaid container or a large wicker basket and either store in the top of my daughter's closet or in the basement.

if you are interested in monitoring, then I would suggest putting two outfits in the bottom drawer sometime each day, then the next morning, she can pick one of the two. If you want to give her more freedom, you can put a picture of pants, a shirt, socks, etc. on the outside of each drawer. In the morning when you pick clothes, tell her "Get something from the pants drawer", "Get something from the shirt drawer.", until she has built a complete outfit. You could also, after laundry day, put five outfits into a sweater hanger in the closet (one outfit into each compartment) and she can pick from those each day. That way, you can circulate things pretty well.

Both my daughters insisted on choosing their own clothes around 18 months. I just put the shirts and pants in the bottom 2 drawers. Right now for my younger (21 months) I just open the shirt drawer first and ask her which one she wants. Then the pants drawer and ask her. Sometimes I'll hold one up for her, and she'll say yes or no. That's all. It's pretty simple.

I'm not particular about what they wear, as long as it's relatively weather-appropriate. I don't care if they match or not, I think it's more important for them to feel empowered to make their own choices. However, I have a friend who really likes her daughter to match, so she sets out three outfits for her daughter to choose from.

My son has 4 drawer dresser too (pants/long sleeves shirts/T shirt/socks and underwear). If something is too small it goes in a special bascket for hand me downs. I thought him how to pick his cloths which I think was the important part. 1. For school or for play; 2. No more than 3 colors on him plus he knows how to combine warm and cold colors; 3. Warm or cold weather. I started when he was about 3 yo, now he is 6 and I can trust him on picking up the right cloths. Start picking them together and talk about why you are picking this dress with those bottoms and etc. Good luck!

When my kids got to this age, I simply bought those bars that you hang from the closet that lowers the bar and hung their clothes up in outfits. Then if we had something to do the next day, they would choose what outfit they wanted the night before, otherwise when it was time to get dressed they could go to their closet and choose what they wanted. It put everything in toddler reach and helped keep their clothes somewhat matching.

We have a 5 drawer dresser in the closet. From the bottom up, it's blankets, socks and panties, pajamas, pants, then shirts in the top drawer. I pretty much started letting her pick things from the bottom up. We usually let her pick what she wants as long as it's appropriate for the weather.

Another option to help get her used to picking appropriate things is to put together some outfits for her and hang each outfit on a hanger. Then she just picks which hanger she wants. You can also let her pick the bottom (or top) and then give her 2 choices that are both good options.

We've found with our 2.5 year old that by letting her pick most days, the days when it matters, she's totally willing to go along with it.

What I did when kiddo was JUST this age (2.5):

1) Only bought clothes that matched, at least to some degree.

2) Made a visual closet. AKA I had 2 rows of hooks. The top half had shirts... the bottom row had pants or shorts. I spaced the hooks so that the pants hung lengthwise ( a few inches off the floor, for room to grow), the bottom of the shirts just barely touching the waistband of the pants. Only clothes he was allowed to wear were out there. (special clothes, or wrong season clothes were boxed, out of sight out of mind in my room in a plastic bin). Socks, underwear, and jammies all had their own drawer in a little "dresser" / plastic file cabinet.

3) Made him "responsible" for his own laundry. AKA... he'd drag his hamper to the machine. Throw the clothes in. I'd hold him up to pour in the soap, and he'd push the button. I'd transfer to the dryer. He'd take the dry clothes out of the dryer and he'd lug his clothes to his room. He'd then hang up all of his clothes on his hooks. Since there were no hangers involved, or clothes to fold, he could do it all himself. Same token, we only bought the same brand white socks... so there was no matching necessary. He could just pile all the lone troops into a drawer.

As seasons changed, I would just do a clean sweep and replace.

Astra A doesn't have children at all. She just likes to make rude comments to people. She is the one that needs to get a life.

We have not gotten to this stage yet, but I plan on doing what my mother did with us. She got a box of gallon sized zip-lock type bags and when she folded our clothes, she put outfits into bags (shirt, pants, socks, etc). She then put our bags in the bottom drawer of our dresser and we got to pick out our outfit the night before. she would help us take it out of the bag (she reused them and did not want us to accidentally rip them) and we layed them out on our bedside table. That way, when we got up in the morning, we could put ou the outfit we had picked out. My mother chose to do it this way because she tried just letting my brother (the oldest) simply pick all of the clothing items himself and he chose such crazy combos. Another mother suggested this and he loved it - he still got to pick, but he was still wearing something presentable.

Good luck!!

What I would suggest is to pick out two or three outfits that you would think is appropriate for what you are doing or the weather and let her choose out of those. This way you can control what she wears without taking her sense of control.

When my daughter was that age, I put together complete outfits on a hanger and hung them in the closet. She could choose which ever outfit she wanted. She felt independent, but I still had a control.

Updated

When my daughter was that age, I put together complete outfits on a hanger and hung them in the closet. She could choose which ever outfit she wanted. She felt independent, but I still had a control.

Choose three or four outfits you can live with and put them out-our in the drawers. Let her choose from them, even if they look funny or if it is snowy and she chooses sandals to wear. Bite your tongue. (sigh) It is only the beginning....

Remember to choose outfits that you can live with. That is the key. and good luck with having a daughter with a strong personality.

Welcome to my world LOL. I have 14 year old as well and she's a pain in the bum but the baby who is almost 3 will click from what she has I suggest put her winter clothes together and summer clothes away so it doesn't really matter as long as they are warm etc.Hope that makes sense.
S.

We use the stackable crates (we call the cubbies) for our kids. We actually have them in our closet too. Everything is easy to reach and easy to see. My 5 year old and 2 year old even put their own clothes away.We have the fabric cubes that go in them for their socks and underwear. Its great. As the get older you an change them around to make it work for the age. And they come in all different colors. We got ours at Fred Meyer.

Stackable Cubes:
http://www.amazon.com/Whitmor-6070-1723-Storage-Cubes-Bla...

Fabric Cube inserts:
http://www.amazon.com/Whitmor-Collapsible-Cubes-Purple-28...