4 Year Old Changing His Mind constantly...HELP

Updated on December 22, 2006
K. asks from League City, TX
6 answers

My 4 year old son constantly is changing his mind..all day..everyday and it's making me crazy. He'll ask to watch his Wiggles movie, then by the time I can get it (5 sec later) he's asking for the Cars movie..then I get the cars and he demands the Wiggles. He can go on like that for hours until finally I get enough and put him in the time out corner. I don't know if he's aiming to make me crazy or if I'm not responding correctly. Any ideas would be helpfull!

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B.R.

answers from Little Rock on

i had the same problem with my son he is now 12 but this is how i handled the problem....
after a few weeks of him i want this no i want that,
the first thing he ask for is what he got i told him
you asked for barney not the big bird now you can watch barney and after that you can watch big bird, if you don't want to watch it go to your room and play, but idf you throw a fit and scream and holler you will get time out(my time out is one min. for every year so it was 4 mins.)it's not long but to them it's a eternaty, he will or she will try you on this but stick to your guns and it wil work it took 2 weeks with my son.

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L.W.

answers from Beaumont on

Ditto...he might be just experimenting with control. If he asks for Wiggles, talk about the Wiggles, sing a song, whatever to distract him. If he fusses, just remind him that he asked for it and let it play.
OR you could give him a choice in the beginning. Hold up Cars and Wiggles. Let him pick and that's the final choice.

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J.C.

answers from Houston on

I agree with the other three moms. What I did when my son was about three or four years old was that I would start giving him choices. I would have him choose between oatmeal or cereal with bananas in it, or did he want to wear the blue shirt or the black shirt. Almost everything had a choice. Bubbles in the bath or no bubbles, milk or juice, sandwich or wrap.
So, with the movie situation, have him choose one and get him to put the other one away. If he changes his mind, I agree that he shouldn't be able to watch any movie.
If there is one thing that is the most critical point, it's consistency. Keep your word, do what you say you'll do and be consistent.
You're doing the most important step right now, and that's getting ideas.

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C.A.

answers from Houston on

I see you have twins, are you sure its not the two of them working ya?
Seriously though, I would pick out two movies and show Mr. Picky. Let him choose. If he changes his mind then don't put one in . At 4 he is able to understand that decisions/actions have consequences and tell him he gets first choice or you get to chose if he tries to change his mind. If he throws a screaming me-me then no movie until he has had his time out and apologized for the fit. BE CONSISTENT though or it won't work and will make it worse.
Good luck,
C.

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A.P.

answers from Houston on

Remember that kids are constantly learning! The other moms have good suggestions here. He is learning control and decision making skills. If you continue with the current routine he will be indecisive and confused. At 4 choices are good but the decision is final, no changes so make sure that he knows that and stick with it.

Sounds like he may also be having some fun with you watching you do things for him, I would suggest that its time to implement simple chores for him as well to show him everyone does things for other people and everyone does their part. Washing the table off or picking up things off the floor or taking things you give him to the trash are good starters. I also had my boys put things like canned food away after grocery shopping. Sure they just pushed big piles of cans on one shelf in the pantry, but they were helping. I would straighten them up later the way I wanted them.

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L.K.

answers from New Orleans on

I'm guessing that he sees this as a really fun game... watching mommy run back and forth ready to pull her hair out can be really funny to a preschooler. What I would do is stop giving such an open option. Ask him once what he once what he wants to watch and let's say he says "Wiggles" get the Wiggles and if he then says "Cars" keep both of them out and bring them to him. Tell him to pick which one he wants and bring it to the TV. If that doesn't work; do you think you would trust your kids if the movies were within their reach and he could go and bring you the movie he wants instead of making you get them...maybe if he's the one doing the leg work it will take the fun out of watching you go back and forth. Just a couple of hints but for sure, if I were you I would not continue to play his game... 2 times and then the choice becomes this or nothing. He'll get the point. Good luck!!

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