Competitive 5-Year Old...

"He is tired at the end of a long week in school, but that's not an acceptable excuse."

I think it's understandable for him to act this way at the end of a long week. It's not a great excuse, but for a 5-year-old, it is a reasonable explanation. I would try to spend time suggesting his emotions like "It seems like you're tired (or mad, or frustrated). Maybe you'll feel better with " fill-in-the-blank... some rest, a good meal, some mom time, whatever. It's also really important IMHO to describe what made him mad, ask him if that's true from his perspective, try to mirror his feelings and show them to him.

It's okay to give some slack when he's crabby. I like people to give me some slack when I'm crabby too, and I'm a grown-up with much greater understanding than my 5-year-old. :)

Generally, if one of my kiddos starts getting frustrated with some sort of "screen game", I figure they have had enough time doing that particular activity and I have them do something away from "screen time".

Playing games as a family is also a good way to learn winning and losing with a good attitude.

That being said; neither of my kids has had any issues with anger in an organized sport, even though they sometimes get frustrated with an electronic game. Being out and active with other kids is entirely different and in my humble opinion so much lovelier :o)

While it is important for him to learn how to lose gracefully, it is not unusual for a 5 year old to behave the way he did. I agree with Mamma W. Encourage the good behavior, ie. keep practicing, you'll get better, but don't lecture. At 5 years, it's completely age appropriate for him to still be working through some of these feelings. Your expectations might be just a tad too high right now. Give him time.

I think you need to adjust your expectations. Whining is a normal age appropriate response to frustration in the face of being tired (or hungry). It happens to adults too. Dealing with frustration is a skill that comes with practice, time and simple maturity. You can't rush the last. If this is not acceptable to you, you would wait until next year to enroll him in organized sports. Or you could see how it goes and stop if it is not working. Or it might just go fine.

T., this might just have to do with computer or gameboy games. I saw that in my older son (he was older than 5.) I realized it when the game turned off before he got a chance to save, and he had a terrible fit over it.

It's a personality/temperment thing. And it's hard to handle.

I highly recommend talking to your ped about it. I wish I would have. If I had gotten some expert advise, I might have been better able to deal with my son's difficult temperment.

Fast forward, though, to present day, and he's nothing like this. Successful, hardworking, and though still serious-minded, much more laid back and very happy. I guess I did SOMETHING right, though maybe I'm just lucky I figure it out!

Dawn

I've noticed that video games tend to bring out frustration more than live sports. Even my husband will yell at the video games! My SD gets frustrated easily with them, but she is a good sport when playing with her friends.

When she was younger we had to work on good sportsmanship, but really it didn't take more than a few talks and she was fine. All we needed to do is let her know it's okay to feel disappointed or even angry, but it's NOT okay to hurt anyone's feelings. She will put on a brave smile and congratulate the winner, and then cry or be angry in the car on the way home. We are okay with that. I think that it's just part of being human!

They usually don't pull that kind of stuff in front of their peers or a coach. Don't worry. Try not to lecture about behavior. Just say I know you are frustrated...keep practicing and you will get better. And leave it at that. Do it very positively. You can role play when he is in a good mood. Role play situations that might happen during a group game..let him be both sides of the situation. He will love to see you being the whiny child but quickly turning around the attitude. Play games together as a family..don't let him win. THis will all help reinforce the behavior that is expected. And, always praise him when you see him playing nicely or sharing or taking disappointment maturely. Focus on the value you want him to have and not the opposite that we trap ourselves in saying. "Don't be such a poor loser." "Don't get so frustrated or no one will want to play with you." You know...all the stuff that runs through our minds...just hold it back.

Good luck and best wishes!!

I think it may be like you said, end of a long week. Sometimes my son gets like this and he's "overstimulated" and he can't play any video games because he just gets too agressive and bitchy. So maybe he just needs a break from it to do something quieter. Good luck!