My Nine Year Old Son

I would say yes , it is.
He needs to be taught to loose gracefully.
Something I still struggle with so I have no advice on how to teach him.

My 9 year old wants to blow his sisters up or take a knife and filet the dogs, like we do fish.
He is just frustrated. Today one of our dogs poopied in the basement and he had to clean it up. THe girls are 13 and 15 so he is always annoying them and they him.
It's just a phase. Teach him what is appropriate to say.
I would say something like "that isn't very nice. Next time you need to try harder to get more points and beat them. You can do it." He's just mad because he lost the game.

Yes and no. It's normal to be frustrated after a game loss, but he needs to learn to express this in appropriate ways. Talk to him about whether he played the best he could (even if he made a few mistakes, which is part of life). Talk about games not being the end of the world. Help him express his frustration - it is because they lost, because he missed a play, because other players didn't do their best? Is his anger at the other team because they weren't good sports or because they were not good winners? Maybe the officiating was questionable? These are all part of organized sports - it's fine to be angry, but it has to be done with words.

As him how breaking their heads would help him. Would it change the outcome of the game? Would it really make him feel like a winner? Or would it just turn him into a bully and a sore loser? Help him talk it through. Explain that the frustration is normal, but his method of dealing with it is not. He may just lack the vocabulary to express these emotions but you can help him develop that by asking questions first and then explaining things later.

If you see that this type of talk continues, then you should be concerned. But a lot of kids say something that includes violence because it's the only way they know of to express their extreme frustration.

Keep an ear out for talk like this. I would tell my 9 y/o that we don't talk like that & discuss being a sore looser & that we can't always win. I would also ask my son how it would make him feel if his team won & the other team had said that about him & his team mates.

God bless!

My 7 year old nephew has talked in the same way. My SIL always tells him it is o.k to be frustrated, but it is never o.k. to give up. She always makes a point to tell him about the importance of your words. That your words represent you and it is not o.k to threaten others even out of frustration. I know my nephew is the oldest of two boys and they both seem to have a hard time dealing with frustration, but the oldest especially

L.

Share stories with him that have a "losing" or "underdog" theme.
Roberto Clemente grew up dirt poor and practiced hitting bottle caps because he didn't have a baseball.
Bill Mazeroski was a single-hit type of guy until it REALLY mattered in The World Series.
Stories of overcoming adversity. The movie Blind Side. Books: Winners never Quit by Mia Hamm, Good Sports: Winning, Losing, and Everything in Between by Therese Kauchak and Norm Bendell.

Sounds like a typical boy dealing frustration. Boys have lots of testosterone swimming around their brains. Let's face it don't you sometimes think like that? The difference is that as a adult your socialization has been completed and you've developed a filter. He's 9, he's in the safety of his mom's love and he says what he thinks. Of course, your job is to ask him why does he feel that way, what is another good way to deal with frustration, remind him that it's not a good thing to break someone's head and how much it would hurt. Ask him if he thinks other teams feel the same way when his team wins the baseball game? Tell him how thankful you are that none of the players on another team every broke his little head. And give hima kiss and tell him that as long as he plays as best as he can and learns how to be a good winner and a good loser that's what really matters. Of course, remind him that winning feels good but lots and lots of time in life we don't win - but we keep getting up and trying again.

These are all valuable life lessons and they learn to deal with losing, disappointment in life, a little better each year. My 11 year old son has come light years in the last few years in dealing with losing a game or having a bad personal game - becuase he's experienced both side of the coin - the really good games, the wins, and the losses.

He needs to learn the appropriate response to losing a game, but kids have no 'filter'. They say exactly what's going on in their mind. That's one thing that I LOVE about kids. They tell it like they see it or feel it.

Explain what the appropriate response would be in that situation vs. the way HE handled it.

Ideally, sportsmanlike behavior is one of the values that team sports seeks to teach. I'd tell the coach how your son expressed his frustration, and ask him how he teaches his team to handle losses.

But to your son, I would just make a supportive comment, like "I hear that you are angry and disappointed that your team lost. Tell me more about that." And listen carefully. Make comments like, "Hmm. I see." Your son may just be able to work through his own negativity if he knows you care.

If he can't, I'd ask him how the other team might feel about him if they had lost. That might open up a wider viewpoint for him. If he's still stuck in his rage, then I'd be concerned, and talk about it to his school counselor.

I'm guessing that you are very upset, because it is difficult to understand your note.
I'm guessing that you are saying that your son wants to take a brick to the next game and hit someone with it. I'm sure he was upset that his team lost, and I'm sure his emotions will calm down some as the week moves on. If he continues talking about it you may have to sit down with him and explain that it's a game and that hard work and practice can make his team better and more likely to win next time. He also needs to understand that he shouldn't be angry with the other team becasue they won. They worked hard to win. Could the team coach help with this? Maybe they need to address sportsmanship in their practice.
Did anyone taunt or ridicule your sons team for loosing? If so, this should warrent a talk with the other coach about instilling a sense of sportsmanship in that team members.