We went through this search just recently. I originally wanted a Toyota Sequoia - but my husband nixed it based on the V8 engine and poor gas mileage - he said it was a big heavy truck that I would regret... I also looked at the Highlander, the Honda Pilot, the Nissan Pathfinder, and the GMC Acadia. I really wanted an Acadia but we were buying used and we got a much better deal on our Volvo XC90 - we LOVE it - no regrets. I too have a family of 5 (kids are 7, 11, and 13) I wanted the second row to seat 3 and I needed the 3rd row seating for carpool and friends/family. Some of the Acadias have bucket seats in the middle row - and that wouldn't have worked for me. I want all 3 of my kids to be able to sit there for trips when we have lots of cargo.
Good luck in your search. :)