Every year, I get numerous emails from friends (and 4 Facebook messages just today) wanting me to support their children's school and extracurricular activity fundraisers. I do not mind supporting those fundraisers at all (I have a child whose activities hold them, as well), but I do believe the CHILD should have to sell me whatever it is, not the parents through emails. I want to see their faces at my door, nervously giving me the sales pitch...My mom made me do it when I was a kid, and I have my son do it, as well...It is not MY fundraiser, it is his. I will go with him, of course, but it is his 'baby'...
Does anyone else share my view, or am I being unreasonable?
Also, how do I convey this to the parents without seeming rude?
I am adding this to my original post, because there seems to be a misunderstanding: I do not condone children going door to door to sell anything, for any reason. My child is only allowed to go to the homes of people we know, and with me present. I am not suggesting that children do that without their parents. Simply suggestiing that kids do their own "work", and not rely on the parents to do it for them. I do support my own child's school, and am open to supporting others. I just think the child should be involved in the "pitch", that's all...I don't seem to be getting the type of advice I am seeking.
I have decided to take Janelle B's advice, and say something along the lines of what she suggested. She was correct that I was referring to sports teams fundraisers, and I liked her approach. Door to door sales or safety of the children was never a part of the equation, as we live in a small, gated community, and the emailed requests were from friends (not neighbors), so I feel my question was misunderstood. But, many thanks to all the moms who responded!
A few of the teachers at my kids school will buy from the first child that asks them. It has to come from the child and only the first child of each fundraiser.
Maybe you could come up with the same kid of rule.
Since it is Summer and school is out, I am going to assume that you are specifically talking about fundraisers for sports teams and not school.
I agree with your point. We do too much for our children, for various reasons. I believe that a lot of it is due to the competitive nature of parents in this area - everyone wants their little darlings to be the best, and there are generally prizes or recognition attached to 'the one who sells the most', so the parents take over.
I would just say, "While I would love to support Johnny's baseball team, I would love it more if he would call to tell me about it, or stop by to show me the product. We would love to see him and hear more about his teams' plans to go to Nationals..." something like that.
I have quit seeking advice on this site. Questions like yours are often mis-read and misunderstood. Some of these moms sure have hot opinions about things, and don't even fully read or understand the questions before they go off on their tangents...
Good luck to you, and NO, you're not alone in your way of thinking!
You know, I've made a personal decision that I will not ask friends or family to support fundraising for my kids. If there's an activity that they want to do, and we can't afford it, then they can't do it. I think being asked constantly by everyone imaginable to donate money for frozen cookie dough, overpriced chocolate bars, wrapping paper, magazine subscriptions, eScrip and whatever else, is just obnoxious. I don't really care if my friends' kids can't go to some fancy band camp or if they need help buying cheerleading uniforms. If they want their kids to do it, then they need to find a way to afford it. These same people drive fancier cars than I drive, live in bigger houses... why do I need to help them afford fun things for their kids to do?
Now, if I see kids holding a car wash, I will stop and get my car washed. The other day some boys knocked on our front door and asked if they could mow our front lawn, and I enthusiastically hired them. I don't mind if kids are willing to work to earn money. I have had kids ask if I have anything to donate to a yard sale to earn money, and I will gladly give them whatever stuff I can spare. But it has to be the kids doing this, not the parents.
The other thing that really irritates me is that suddenly all of my friends are hosting parties in their homes to sell candles, jewelry, clothing, overpriced packaged food... and then they tell you that their "goal" is to sell $xxx amount so they can "earn" the hostess gift. WTH? No, I DON'T really want to buy a $40 candle. Thanks.
Sorry for the rant, but YEAH, I'm just as annoyed by the endless stream of requests begging for my limited supply of disposable income, most of which is coming from adults who really ought to be spending their own money on their kids, and not counting on my money to support their kids... Just call me Scrooge.
It is VERY annoying. I get hounded every year by children selling the same thing my 15 yr old is selling. We do not participate in door to door, candy, magazine, emial, etc sales. I write a check as a donation to the school. That works for us.
I try to buy at least 1 thing OR make a donation to the cause in the form of a check from the kids who live very close to me to support their cause but we still do not knock on their doors and even ask. It is a trap that makes people feel obligated and I hate it.
I get the emails and snail mail with magazine sales. I have been informed by my SIL (a teacher) that the children get credit for how many forms they mail out and to not feel obligated to buy anything.
On another side of the forum, I am President of the Cheer Boosters at our high school and it is a competitive mess with 9 schools vying for monies from people to advertise. On top of that, each school has 2-4 booster clubs that are fundraising. We tell the sqaud as they come in, that $500 per girl is the goal. Some go well over the amount some do nothing. There is a clause that says, you can raise your $500 by selling advertising, donating personally or use a combination of the 2. This year, we joined forces with the Athletic boosters to work together and so far it has been successful. Our particular fundraisers pay for specific training for our squad to go to competition.
I HATE selling door to door, with our without my child and I do not agree with the parents who take the forms to work to sign people up to purchase. It is extortion because you are obligated.
The best thing we've done is offer a write a check campaign and no one sells, no deliveries, just raising money.
You are not alone.
Our school district no longer allows candy bars and junk food to be sold..
What I did was have our daughter use my email to send out information about our fundraisers. She had to word it and type it out. She made it clear no one had to buy anything, but if they wanted to see the information we would be happy to drop by or send them more information.
I usually sent a back up email telling them to please not feel obligated. It seemed to work well for us.
Also in our district we tried to find out what other schools were selling so that we did not duplicate what others had sold. NO ONE was ever obligated to sell anything. We said it over and over again to parents and students.
Our schools do NOT allow people to go door to door.
School fundraisers are one of my pet peeves. I don't know if it's all schools these days or just ours, but my 6 yr olds school has about 7 fundraisers a year. It's a bit much in my opinion. With her being my youngest, I learned years ago that the simplest thing to do is write the school a $5-$10 check for each fundraisers without ordering anything or pestering friends, co-workers and neighbors over and over again. If every parent did this, the schools would come out way ahead on average. If you don't do this, each one of those relatives, co-workers, etc will expect you to purchase something from EACH of THEIR children's numerous fundraisers so it will cost you a lot less in the long run. I don't ask anyone, so no one asks me. All my family members are out of state and have their own kid's school fundraisers to come up with $ for. It gets ridiculously expensive and most of the stuff they are selling is stuff no one wants. What the heck ever happened to selling dollar chocolate bars?? Cheap and easy to sell...but NO...they only sell $20 candles, ugly expensive wrapping paper or high priced magazine subscriptions :(
Do yourself a favor...support your own child's school and you don't have to worry about getting "pitched".
End of Rant.
Wow, I love this topic. I remember being young and pounding the pavement alone for every fundraiser that was connected to an activity I wanted to pursue.
I do think there are many more fundraisers now. Also, I am not sure if I would have my son go door to door in my neighborhood when the time comes, but I would expect him to participate in the selling, however it is conducted.
Maybe you could just say "no, thanks" when asked--you don't OWE an explaination.
You have made me think and I am considering telling parents that "I prerfer to buy from fundraisers where the kid is actually involved in the pitch"
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N.B., I loved your post. I encourage my children to be more "hands on" about whatever they are involved in. I want them to interact with grown ups & not hide behind me & wait for me to take care of all their needs. When we go to a restaurant they order their own food, if they need a drink refill they have to ask the waiter for it, if they want ketchup they ask for it. My kids are 3, almost 5 & 6.
Although I haven't experienced fundraisers yet your point of view & mine are the same & I don't think I am being unreasonable. I don't want my kids to be afraid or intimidated by their peers. I also think this can help them build self esteem & feel confident. And I hope for my kids that they learn not to be discouraged by a "no thank you" & they will keep trying.
Janelle's advice was great so go with that. Good luck
I am totaly with you on this! I hate it so much when kids' parents pedal their fundraisers for them. Parents should not take their kids' girl scout order forms, magazine orders etc... to the offices with them. It's tacky and it's not right. It's basically cheating. make your children do their own selling. Parents, stop doing your childrens work for them, you are doing them a disservice, by doing this for them!!
In this day and age may schools do not encourage or "allow" door-to-door sales for the child's safety, so they encourage the emails to family/friends. I did this for all of my girls and will continue to do it for their safety. I also make my girls call family members and our friends with whom they are comfortable with to ask them about the fundraisers.
Another problem is that the community we live in I would say 90percent of the kids go to the same school so I don't like to hit up parents who have kids selling the same thing and our friends feel the same way.
Many school systems do NOT allow the kids to go door to door because it is a safety issue. We had to get special dispensation for the high school band students to do their door to door tag day with one adult for 2 kids...
I don't allow my children to go door to door and I live in the boonies!
YMMV
LBC
