Childcare - Rocky Mount,NC

Stay positive! i cant tell you how much it helps go in talking about what fun he will have all smiles ect. next dont hang out for more than 3 mins when dropping him off AND DEFF DONT SNEAK OFF. that just makes him think you are really gone. it will get better! i have worked in day care some kids took 2 days to adjust others took about 3 weeks

I often read posts that bother me, but don't actually take the time to respond to them, but I just had to this time. Lisa K's response to your question was really very thoughtless -N. H. has come here for help (and not to be made to feel worse), and also your points are very narrow-minded. I also have to work full-time.. not because I am a single mom, but because in order to provide our kids with the very best, we need two incomes. We live in a wonderful school district (versus the alternative neigbhorhoods with gangs and low scoring high schools), we have a home that is comfortable, we can visit their grandparents in states outside of our own.. none of that would bbe possible if we didn't both work, our lifestyle would be difficult and our children would not have nearly as many opportunities (the ones that they cherish, remember, and are shaping them into the people that we want them to be.. happy, healthy, well-adjusted). Also, I have my PhD in Child Development - and the research shows that daycare (as long as it's good quality) does NOT have negative effects on the children. The kids are learning to socialize, follow routines, and are being exposed to things they could not get at home. I know that by the end of the weekend by kids are itching to get out of our house, play with their friends, have new toys to play with.

I am not saying this is the right choice for everyone, but I am saying without a doubt, that there is nothing wrong with it. I think my kids will do way better in Kindergarten having this experience under their belt. So, N., please don't feel bad about sending your son to daycare.. my son was also 16 months when he started, and had a rough time, but now he loves it. Once they realize that this is the routine, and that you WILL be coming back each day, he will start to feel better. He will probably pick out one or two kids that he likes to 'play' with, and that will help too. As long as you feel good about the teachers and the environment, he will adjust. Also, talk it up at home - talk about the other kids in the class, and the cool toys he can play with there, and how when you pick him up you will get ice cream (or whatever). They understand way more than we think they do, and he will start to internalize it.

Good luck, it's very hard, but to be very honest, I wouldn't choose to be home each and every day with my kids. I love them more than the world, but I am a way better parent when I can take a break, be productive and successful as my own person, and then dedicate all of the other hours to them. I am just very disappointed that someone would respond to your question, which shows that you are obviously having a hard time with this, by making you feel badly about your decision. Not all parents, and not all children, need or want the same thing - this sounds like it's right for you - even if you don't HAVE to work, you may WANT to - and that is OKAY! Lisa, I think you need to be more open-minded.

I can speak from experience as an owner of a childcare center. !6 months is one of the toughest age groups for starting childcare. Not trying to make you feel worse just letting you know that it does happen more often then not for this age group, and for most kids is normal behavior. I never allow a child to just start at my center, we do a week of short visits. The first day mom stays for a half and hour during circle time and then gradually we work our way into a full day. I know it is to late for that, but is it possible you can go a little early and read a story with him, walk around the room with him and try to help him to engage. Transitioning is a process, and I know it is breaking your heart, however he will not remember this, it will not scar him, and it will pass. If he is extra clingy, (also normal) give him the extra time he needs right now until he feels secure, this phase will also pass. Good luck!!

As a working mom, I can reassure you it will get better (and please disregard any callous "be a stay at home mom" feedback you may receive). It's a transition time, just as you mention and you've no doubt seen yourself working at a center.

Our son started daycare at age two and it was difficult at first, but it wasn't long before I'd do drop-off and by the time I reached to give him a hug, he was off running to play with friends! Childcare can be wonderful ... it developed our son's social skills and he started talking when no work on our part at home was successful. Your son will be so well prepared for the start of school because he's learning to be around lots of other kids and follow instruction from caregivers/teachers. It's just a matter of getting through this difficult phase.

If he didn't go through it now, it would happen with the start of preschool or start of kindergarten. Transition times can be difficult for kids. Do what you can to play up the fun things in his childcare room and talk about them (not necessarily TO him, but just out loud): "Wow, I wish I got to do finger paints today" or "That slide at your school sure looks fun ... I bet it's fast! I smile every day I see it." Also remind him that you WANT him to have fun there.

Hang in there! I promise it will get better.

HI N.,

I assume that you must work and that is why you have him in care in the first place. Of course you'd be home with him if you could be.

You don't mention how long he's been in care at the childcare center. He may need time to adjust... 16 months can still be within the window of separations anxiety too. If he hasn't experienced separation anxiety before, this change could be triggering it now, particularly if this is his first time in a care situation and away from you.

Consider that the childcare center may not be a good fit for him. Maybe there are too many kids or the environment and/or childcare style is very different from what he's used to. It's a lot for a little one to get used to. Does he have any kind of security item like a blanket or a stuffed animal? Introducing one might help.

Good luck to you~ it's never easy to leave little ones in care when you don't have the option to stay home with them. Find a place where you feel like he's getting what he needs and the adjustment will be easier for both of you:)

In the baby section at Target they have those plastic baby photo albums that you can fill with maybe 5 or 6 photos. Why don't you buy one of those and put a picture of you, your husband/partner, grandparents and family pet of you have one. My children loved carrying around their special family photo album and looking at the photos, and I think it made them connected to me and my husband even when we were not in their line of sight.

Hi N., My son started daycare in the first week of August when he was 16 months old and I went through the same phase. It took 3 weeks for him to settle down for a nap and have a good lunch(he would eat up the snackes but refused lunch). He used to have a 3 hour nap before daycare started and for the first 3 weeks there he didnt nap for more than 40 minutes. By pickup time he would be so tired that he would sleep at 6.But after a month I am noticing that he is having longer naps of around 2 hours and also eats up his lunch and is not drop dead tired in the evening.So I assure you that it will be okay. Kids adjust much faster than we think they can! So give yourself and your son some time.

when i first went back to work in childcare my son was about 14months old, and everytime he saw i had left he cried himself to the point he would get sick. that broke my heart! but over time he got used to his teachers and would cry when we tried to leave! every child has their own time needed to adjust i see it everyday just like you do! face it in todays world sometimes its not possible to stay home with our kids as much as we would love to!

Can he bring a 'lovey' from home with him (stuffed toy, blanket, etc)?

If memory serves, right around 16 months is one of those tough times for kids when they don't transition as easy..it can be done...that was about the time I had to switch from g'ma watching my son to a sitter. It was a difficult couple of weeks, but now, at 7, I have a confident, well adjusted little boy who enjoys spending time with family and others.

I wish you the best! It makes it harder for us when they are like this. Be consistent (follow routines, pick up/drop off the same way and time) and I imagine everyone will adjust.

Hi N.,
Be consistent and confident with your routine with him when you drop him off - give him a hug and a kiss (or whatever is that you do) and then GO. He will be able to feel it if you are having second thoughts about leaving him there. Give him extra loving when you pick him up. I would suggest not letting him see or hear you during the day until you are picking him up (you said you can hear him whining and crying during the day - can he hear and see you?)

Best of luck to you!! It is hard when you are in the middle of it, but just know that this phase will pass!!
Cyndi