Our neighbor's son is a monster. He just turned five and we moved here 2 years ago. He hits, spits, scratches, bites, and shows a lot of antisocial behavior. He hits his parents and calls them "jerks," or tells them to "shut-up." He never speaks to my husband or I when he comes over. If we are driving by in the car and he is outside in his yard, and we throw up our hand to wave, he stares at us like he does not know us. He feels free to squirt water on my kids, but the minutes he gets any water on his clothes or body he turns into a monster and throws a huge temper tantrum. He use to spit on us all the time but his mother put vinegar in his mouth over and over until he has finally quit. Whatever clothes my 8 year old wears, he runs home to change into something that looks similar. Whatever shoes or toy or scooter my 8 year old has his parents run right out and buy the same thing for him. He waits in his yard for us to come home he sits on the edge of his yard and stares at our house if we are inside. The minute we drive up he is standing in our garage waiting for us to get out of the car.
He still continues to hit our children and take toys and not return them. The mother still continues to purchase a replica of anything we have so that he can run over and make sure we all know. Items can be clothing or bikes/scooters anything. He never gets better only continues on the path he has blazed through his life. He will be starting school soon, maybe his mother can blame the teacher and every child in the room for his behavior.
I don't know, but the boy needs help. Have you had an honest talk with the Mom to see whether they have had him evaluated? Possibly the better question you could ask these Mama's is the name of a place where the parents could take their son to be evaluated. Then in conversation try to pass this information on.
Hello, It seems to me that this child is screaming attention from you. Especially since he runs and changes into clothes like your son's and has to have the same thing as your children have! He isn't getting something at home that he is craving and it seems like it is attention! I would take this child under your wing when he wants to come over and tell him the rules of your house and let him know that this is his 1 and only warning, that there will be no other warning and he will not be welcomed back over again! After you tell him that I don't think he will act up at your house because he is craving to be at your house for some reason.....and really you don't know what is going on in that house, can you imagine if something really bad is going on and people are just ignoring it because he just acts bad all the time? Good Luck and Don't give up on him because of the way he acts.
K.
Well, first of all, it's impossible to say if anything is "wrong" with this kid without having alot more information. It's obvious something is wrong, but...it may be with the parents and not the kid. The fact that his mother put vinegar in his mouth speaks volumes. A touch of a bar of soap to the tongue is quite enough, in my opinion, and some people pitch a fit over that.
It sounds like the parents need a parenting class. On the surface, it seems more to me that the poor kid doesn't know how to act or what to expect from people. If his parents aren't consistent, or if they mete out punishment that doesn't fit the "crime", that sends really mixed messages to kids. The fact that he copies your son is normal - similar to a little brother trying to be just like his older brother. It would seem that this child senses something about your family that attracts him - and maybe he wishes he were part of your family. Is he an only child?
One rule I've always had in my house is that children must behave. If your children are in my house and they misbehave, I will say something to them. If nothing else, perhaps you can take this misbehaving episodes to correct the child - something he may not be getting at home. At least, not properly or effectively.
Kids are pretty set by the time they're seven years old. By that time, the foundations of their personality, the way they think, act, behave, etc., are fairly solidly constructed. So basically, if something doesn't change soon, these behavior patterns may be set for life.
Touchy subject. I'd say, get the entire family into counseling. The parents need parenting classes and a child development class or instruction. The kid needs counseling, as well as the parents.
Just a quick observation, children with ADHD and Asperger would almost never pass up a good opportunity to talk to any adult. It is (almost to a man) one of the very favorite activities of espeically Asperger youth to talk to adults about all manner of things and love, love, love to interact with them. This is also true of many with ADHD as well, they have great difficulty with peers and are most attracted to younger children and Adults (who will usually listen to them long past thier interest level and are generally way too polite to walk away and will often pretend to be intersested when they are not.) If this child is not relishing adult conversation, and actulally avoids contact with you, I would seriously doubt that Asperger or ADHD is his issue.
Kids with Asperger would do well to have the skill to copy any child, they can't or they would also copy thier behavior-which they don't! They have a basic inablity to generalize to the degree it would take to copy your children's fashions (they don't realize that clothing has style, for the most part, and few even care if they are clean or fit well, as long as they "feel" OK.) Nor would an Aspie require toys your children had, unless the toys were of a very small and specific, often strange narrow scope. One of the halmarks of Asperger syndrom is a very narrow and obsessive interest, one that they cannot stray from and will go to great legnths to talk about and are nearly always incapable of playing with other items appropriately- unless your children only have trains, or TV guides, encyclopedias, dictionaries, earth moving equipment, clocks, bugs, animals, or pokemon toys- which are the kinds of things that hold Aspies focus to near exculsuvity!
They would take that toy and talk about it with you, not your children, because they cannot understand that you are not fair game for play nor that it seems inappropriate for them to bypass kids their own age to talk to the Mom or Dad...this would be the typical presentation for an Aspie. They would also know A LOT about many things, but not enough to know that you are trying to send them any clue that you have something else to do, it will be as if non verbal communication is not there at all, because no matter how many hints you drop by pointing at your watch, or yawning, or moving toward the door, they won't get it.
Just saying, your descriptions do not sound like asperger or ADHD to me, except that this child has some issues with behavior and some of the behaviors you describe could be the same kinds of things you see from an impusive, frustration intolerant child with either ADHD or Asperger, but the behavior on it's own is not a symptom. The reason that child has the behavior could be very, very different and there are only so many ways that behavior can be expressed, even when something is the result of a brain disorder.
M.
Five year olds aren't monsters. As the parent of a child with ADHD, I can tell you that when this comes up at this young of an age, there is something probably wrong with the little boy. Our son was very aggressive (same behaviors you've described) and anti-social until he was diagnosed and put on medication. Huge difference. We knew he was a good, sweet boy, but most others couldn't look beyond his ADHD to see it. He just couldn't control his impulses and the more people rejected him and made him feel abnormal, the more aggressive he'd be.
In this boy's case, whatever condition he might be dealing with is probably compounded by the poor response of his parents. It sounds terrible all around. Vinegar in the mouth is cruel.
Sounds like he's desperate for someone to understand him and be his friend. Not being able to control his body is a scary thing ... I know now from talking to my son about what he goes through. I know it's hard, but plead for compassion until he gets the help he needs.
im sorry but you people that calls these kids spoiled bratts and monsters need to really get a life hes 5 hes still a baby and baby only copy behaviors they see or maybe something may be wrong with him but if thats the case theres no reason to keep your kidsaway from him trust my son is 4 and the exact same way and has spd and unless you can put your feet in there shoes back up off the poor thing he cant defend himself and bt the way they wont even test a kid for adhd or add till there 6 so maybe thats what moms waiting on sory to be so blunt bu when i saw monster i had to reply
I don't know your neighbors, and maybe they're fine folks; but just from reading your letter (and the one asking about symptoms of Asbergs/ODD), I'd say that the boy's parents are the main cause of his erratic and unacceptable behavior. They don't HAVE to buy him what your kid has. Letting a 2 yr old get away with hitting you turns into a 5 year old hitting you, then a 10 yr old and a 16 yr old. They probably didn't discipline him as a toddler. And I'm talking about 'discipline', NOT punishment! There's a difference. You can't teach self-discipline if you don't possess it yourself, and it sounds as if they've just let him 'rule the roost'.
May just be a spoiled brat! But- whatever the problem is, I would keep him away from my child. I would start ignoring him, not wave as we pass nor greet him in anyway. that sounds ugly but you cannot change somebody else's child, so keeping distance is the best thing to do. Safest too!
This kid doesn't "have" anything other than parents who don't know how to say "no" or know how to discipline. Sorry, 5 years old isn't a baby anymore. You don't mention the parents, but this is something they need to try to deal with before anyone starts talking about psychological problems.
People are WAY to quick to "diagnose" and throw psychiatric drugs at kids these days.
I am not sure what to diagnos this kid as, but the situation sounds scary. What I mean is that this boy has something going on him and whatever the parents are trying is not working. Vinegar in his mouth?? I am just hoping that is out of desperation. I would keep my child away...so sad.
i dont think he has anything. hes a little boy looking for a friend to play with. is he in school it sounds like he just doesnt know how to interact with other kids
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