Are All (Most) 3 Yr Old Boys Little MONSTERS or Is It Just Me???

Well, I remember 3 being worse than 2, but I wouldn't say my boy was a "monster" at 3. Nor were his friends.
Careful what you put out there...karma is a funny thing, you know! :)

I have 3 boys (5, 3, and 9 months). I have never thought of them as monsters. They are amazing little people--smart, funny, energetic, and inquisitive. Some people have less tolerance for children in general--maybe you could respectfully decline invitations to birthday parties and family events so you don't HAVE to be around them.

Seems like you have a very low tolerance. My advice to you. Stay away from 3 year old boys. You don't seem to have the patience to deal with them. I really wouldn't want you around my little boy if I had one. The last thing I need is a stranger hating him for acting his age. Those who are around the "adorable little monsters" don't see them that way so it's not an issue.

Only deal with your little monster. Stay away from the other ones.

So, what do you mean by "monster"? I think its important to be well read and informed about what children are capable of and appropriate for their age. It's good to have standards and expecatations as a parent but you have to make sure the child is capable of fulfilling those expectations or you are setting yourself and your child up for feelings of shame and resentment. My son is 3 and a lovely well behaved boy but...sometimes he has a hard time sharing and sometimes does elbow or push. Does that make him a "monster"? Some kids are loud and disruptive....are they monsters? Some parents are too lazy to do their job but others have private issues that they may not care to discuss with certain judgemental parents who may label their kids as bad. Just be the best mom you can be and take care of your own business.

Well, I guess all people, children, AND parents, are individuals. 's what makes the world go 'round, no?

I guess we should all be grateful you're not a pre-school teacher?

:)

instead of responding with anger, with judgment, & resentment....how about flipping your own attitude?

Why not try to see the glory & beauty in each individual child....because I can guarantee you - it's there! Underneath the Monster exists a Prince.

& you know what? That strict parenting & lack of compassion/empathy on your part....will most likely bite you back one day. Too strict parenting creates "little monsters" too! Be very careful how you judge others!

EDIT (AFTER YOUR RESPONSE): Come over to my house sometime! My sons are 14 & 23. My closest nephew is 19. My DH is 56. There are times when all 4 are running around the house, jumping over couches.... with 2 80lb dogs following along. It's insane....but memories in the making! To have missed out on that would be a heartbreaker for all of us......

By contrast, last night is a perfect example: in our community we lost a 13yo boy in a car accident. He was one year below my son, & my DH works with the Mom. My son was a perfectly respectful young man at the visitation. In fact, both of my sons excel at situations such as this....even down to being pall bearers at their grandparents funerals. You can have a little bit of both worlds all wrapped up in one wonderful child!

Don't worry-the girls will make up for it in a couple of years when they start to be mean to eachother and to their parents and cop major attitudes. I haven't seen this hardly at all in the boys I know. I will take the craziness of boys any day.

It is different when it is your little monster.

Um... yes, most 3 yr olds (boys and girls) are "little monsters". Developmentally, they are exploring the wonderful world of "independence", but as parents it is our responsibility to set and maintain limits. That's the only way our children will learn acceptable behavior- if we teach them!

My son will be 3 next month and is very civil b/c we simply don't allow him to be an "animal" when it's not appropriate. When he's outside playing- whatever... run around be crazy, but don't be rude. If we ask him to do something, he will stop playing and do it. If he doesn't, playtime is over. Period.

The reason those "little monsters" are well behaved in other settings is b/c the adults in those other settings don't allow the behaviors to occur. My niece is a "classic" example... she is a nightmare (8) when her parents are around. She whines, tantrums, demands, etc b/c she knows that they will cave in to avoid the meltdown. In school... top of her class and an angel! At my house (when no one else is there)- sweet, helpful and great with my son b/c she knows what the expectations are in my home.

When we "have to be around them", we remind my son before arriving to be polite and use kind words and redirect his behavior as needed. You can't do much with other people's kids, but when it's family I do um..."redirect" my nieces when my son is around. The funny thing is, at 3 he will correct their behavior too!

I don't remember mine being monsters either, but normal boys. They wanted to play baseball all the time or in the mud piles with their trucks. They also seemed to listen without many fits. I nicked the fit thing as soon as they threw the first one.

I would try to limit your time around the kids when they are being monsters. You could even question your friends about what they do when their kids misbehave's. I would would say something like "how do you handle your kid misbehaving, I am looking for new ways in case my child ever acts up in public/at home/"

Well, I must come clean that sometimes I think my own 3 year old son is a monster! And my husband and I really believe in discipline and we are trying VERY hard to raise him to be kind, respectful, and all of those desirable traits. I really worry about this issue alot. I am hoping and praying that alot of his behavior is just his age and a phase. His temperament also plays a part. He is just SO strong-willed, and he is really challenging us.

I know there are parents who let their kids run wild, but there are some of us who are trying very hard to civilize our boys! Some are harder than others for sure. My son is very gifted and very intelligent, but he has been a tough one from birth. He is very hyperactive and I am having to learn how to deal with him. It can be a daily struggle. So I just wanted to throw that out there that while most monsters have parents who just don't try or don't care, some do lay awake at night and worry about what they can possibly do to tame their boys! My husband and I are sticking to our guns and are hoping that part of this will improve when he gets past the age of 3...it is rough!

oh no, boys are monsters! i have a 21 month old who i feel i am constantly yelling at! he is my third child and my only boy. he is nothing like my girls. my girls were very quiet and very reserve when they were his age.... good luck! wish me luck too!

I guess from the responses here - it's just you - LOL. I have two boys and they are both extremely different first one, sweet as pie, giving, loving (even as a 3 yo) second one is the Tasmanian Devil a whirlwind of activity, strong willed and just all around different (could be interpreted 'monster'). so it is a new ball game even though I want to parent him the same as the older child.
My advice is to parent your child the best way you know how and always to your standards and let others do the same. Also, try to cut the other folks some slack - you may be seeing them on one of their worst days and not even know it.
Re: holidays and events, decline or send hubby :)
Good luck and have fun growing your little guy!

I have to admit, I find this post a little insulting...maybe it's just the vocabulary, you chose. My son is not allowed to scream, whine or ignore instructions, but like every child, he has had some moments. I think my son is well behaved and kind, but he is no silent robot. I suppose this could turn nature vs. nurture discussion, because I have seen "monsters" of all ages and both sexes. But to answer your question about dealing with these kids, I'll tell you the same thing I tell my five year old monster..."you treat people with respect whether you like them or not." Like any gathering of people, you aren't going to like everyone. Some behaviors have to be ignored and tolerances made. And sometimes you may have to gently remind people of the rules. And if it is really that bad, if you really can't handle being around someone, then it's time to bow out of certain gatherings. Find a way to let go of this resentment. We all do the best we can. Being resentful and fearful of how things could turn out will only result in you missing out. The age of three can be a transition, but it is also wonderful!

As the mother of a monster - I resent that! lol
No. They are not monsters. But they are very differant than girls. They are full of energy. They are naturally louder than girls, rougher, faster. They like to break things just to see how they work or to see if they can. They dont sit quietly coloring for extended periods of time the way girls do. My boy drives me crazy. He wears me out just watching him run all over the place, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I love the robust joy he attacks life with. The other stuff you mentioned - screaming, whining, not listening to instructions - that's not just boys. Undisciplined kids come in both female and male!

Oh boys can be a hand full. I have a girl and boy. My son was harder than my daughter. However, he is a delightful young man now. 3 is a cute, crappy age. They are learning that they have a say and aren't shy about it. My dad would say "child need to be civilized and that is the parents job" and I agree. I think some of the problem nowadays is that parents want to be friends and not parents. They are afaird to say "no" and don't want to "hurt" their kids feelings. Well, guess what? NO NO NO!!! Unless you want to tell someone that their "adorable little monster" is driving you crazy, you are just going to have to "grin and nod" and know that you don't have to take this kid home with you!

I used to do children's church. I would have 10-30 kids from 2 - 11 in one room. Yes boys are very different from girls. Yes they can be loud and very rambuncious but all children need to be disciplined. All children need to know the rules. When new children come into your circle, they need to be instructed about the rules. They need to know the rewards and be fearful of the punishments without necessarily knowing what the punishments may be. There is no need to dread them. Just take the authority you have in your circle (house, personal space, etc.) and let them know what the rules are and encourage them toward following the rules and praise good behavior. It really worked well for me, the lone adult in a room of 30 children, 3 out of 4 Sunday's a month.

3 year old little boys are not monsters if their parents don't allow them to be.

Makes my skin crawl and my lip curl.

My little boy wasn't a monster. And I agree with you, that in many cases (not every single one, calm down folks), it IS the parenting (or lack thereof) that allows these little monsters to behave like they do. My son was busy, and a handful (especially between the ages of 10 months and 2 years- because he walked early) because he was very curious and independent, and didn't take long naps. LOL But he was never mean, or LOUD, or disrespectful. He still isn't. He's almost 13 now, and has the sweetest soul. He has a natural (?) knack for looking out for the smaller kids around him. He's gonna be a great Dad one day.

Your son can be like that too. Don't freak out and think he's destined to be a monster. He's not.

Oh. As for how do I deal with situations where I have to be around them... I bite my tongue for the most part. And I warn my own kids that just because so & so misbehaves or whatever, does not make it ok for THEM to misbehave. I remind them of the behavior I expect of them and hold them to it. I try to "warn" the parents of the "monsters" if I see them about to do something dangerous or damaging (jumping on someone's sofa, running through a room with breakable items around, etc)... but unless I am the hostess of the event/gathering, I don't call out the child directly if their parent is around. If I AM the hostess, then my house, my rules. And I WILL tell the child xyz is not allowed. If they can't follow the rules, they'll have to sit out or whatever is appropriate (we have a pool, so often it means they have to sit on a chair or the deck for a period of time instead of being in the pool).

My son is 3.5 and sometimes he can be a monster. I thinks boys sometimes have trouble processing too much excitement and it just overwhelms their brain! When my son gets too worked up he'll just spin himself in a circle and shriek until he falls down - I've asked him a few times "what planet are you from?" When kids run wild in public though, it's the parent's job to pull them aside and help them calm down so they are not ruining everyone else's time.

The best way to prevent a public meltdown is to give your son plenty of chances to burn off this energy in an appropriate way. If my son is being too loud inside, I tell him that if he can't stop using his outside voice, I'm going to put him outside. Sometimes he will quiet down, and other times we will step out on the porch and he can go nuts for a few minutes, then he's okay to come back inside!

We also talk a lot to him about nice ways to play with others. When he's with other kids, especially older boys, he tends to play a lot rougher. I'm okay with a little rough-housing as long as nobody is at risk of getting hurt. But if there are younger or smaller kids around, he knows not to run around too crazy or be too rough, or playtime is over.

If a kid is being a total monster and their parent is not around or is busy with another child, feel free to speak up. As long as you don't scream or flip out, most parents will appreciate your help! I've had to speak up before, usually with bigger kids bullying my son. For example, we were at a public kid play place when my son was 2, and a much older boy pushed him right out of the way to play with a toy. I said "it wasn't your turn yet, do you know how to take turns?" He just shrugged and kept playing, so I pointed to my son and said "he's 2, and he knows how to take turns. Don't you?" That embarrassed him, and he walked away. His mom was about 5 feet away and saw the whole thing take place and didn't even budge.

I know exactly what you are going through. I have a 3yr old daughter. She is a royal pain. She is a monster for sure. I do agree that it is hard to be at other peoples houses with annoying children or "monsters", only because my daughter is the monster. I refuse to go into publi with her or go to other peoples house for long periods of time. I do believe it has alot to do with how the child was raised. My sister basically raised my daughter for the first year and half of her life because I was a single mom doing everything I could do make sure she was taken care of, which meant working 60 hrs a week. My sister didn't really apply much discipline so I am paying for it now. You just have to be stern with your son. My daughter doesn't listen at all and she pays for it by sitting in time out or getting certain things taken away from her until she can behave. Children do listen better when they are with other adults/not around their parents.

Best of luck to you and your little guy.

I will say this has NOTHING to do with girl vs boy. Not at all. I have one of each. My daughter will be 8 in June and my son will be 3 in July. I also have a nephew that is 10, a nephew that is going to be 8 next month, and a niece that is 11.

My kids both went through the tough 2's and terrible 3's (son going through it now), but NOT ONCE have I or anyone else called either of my kids 'monsters'. They have their moments but it's not a constant battle with either one. My daughter is the hyperactive one. She wants constant stimulation and when she doesn't get it, whines and yells... She gets sent to her room. My son is very laid back and more than happy playing by himself... Or with others... Or just chilling with 'mommy' and cuddling. On the occasion he throws a tantrum, I tell him to be sure not to crack the floor and walk into the next room. That stops the tantrum really fast.

Now... What I observe with other kids.
As for my 10 yr old nephew, he's a pretty good kid. He's only 'rough-housed' with his dad or 'papa'. He's never been aggressive to any extent and never really been overly loud, obnoxious, or whiny. He's also pretty good around other kids. Even younger ones.

My almost 8 yr old nephew. HORRIBLE. He is a bully. No doubt about it. The only time he behaves is when he KNOWS he absolutely will NOT get away with what he chooses. But I watched his parents tell him that he is BOY and boys do not play with 'girls toys' and must wrestle and cannot like pink or purple and must fight and must take karate, etc.... The list is long. I watched his mother tell him, 'You're fine. Shake it off.' right after he accidentally bashed his head on the wall while playing. I grabbed him immediately and hugged him and asked if he was ok. When he said he wasn't through sobs, I told his mom that she needed to hug her son and kiss his boo boo... Also to make sure he didn't have a friggen concussion.

My 11yr old niece. An average tween. Yet very warm hearted and kind... But SHHHHHHHHH! Don't tell her FRIENDS! She's wonderful around other kids and as annoying my daughter can be to her (your know the younger girl wanting to be with the older girls deal), she is still very sweet to her. She also has a little brother that just turned 1 in Feb. She's wonderful with him and she's wonderful with my son. She's a great kid all the way around. I also know that my sister in law has very similar parenting habits.

So, I don't blame the kids... I blame the parents of the kids.

But to say it's a boy or girl thing. No. I knew a girl when I was growing up that was extremely bullyish. She drew blood by biting my shoulder because I wouldn't let her have my new Barbie.

Lastly, if I see a parent not disciplining their child, I will say to that parent, 'Either you do something or I will. I don't care if it's your 'style' or not.'