Child Spacing - Johnson City,TN

My first three were two years apart and they are very close. My last three are 2 and 1/2 to 3 years apart and they are also close. My only negative experience was with my sister and me. She was born when I was 3 years, 3 months old and it was a tough transition. I was used to being an only child and she was a very demanding baby who cried all the time. We're close now, fifty years later, but we had many rough years.

My girls are 4yrs apart and that has worked out great as the seccond pregnancy was twins. At least I will not have 3 kids in college at the same time, 2 will be enough.

I have no strong opinions on the spacing; there are pluses and minuses to any decision. But I'd like to recommend the book Siblings Without Rivalry, by Faber and Mazlish. This has been a wonderful resource for a few young families I know.

I haven't read that particular title, but have found another book by the same authors, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk, a remarkably effective approach to working with my grandson, now 4.5yo.

In all my schooling they always said 2 yrs apart so each child can feel important and that your body is ready, having said that our boys were 22 months apart. We also wanted spring babies, so they were early June and late April(was to be early May, but he had other plans) thru the years people often asked us how we had raised only children being so close in age. The boys learned to be good friends with each other but we also did one on one time with them. At that time I was at home with them and could plan actitives for both. To us 2yrs apart was great and now we are still enjoying them as adults. Any timing can work, it's what you put into it and you both have to work together(share).

Hilary, here is my thoughts on children close in age. My sister and I where 5yrs apart and As i got older i looked up to her and now we are close but i also thought that was just too far apart. When i got married and had my first I as said my kids we be now more than 4yrs apart. However, the good lord had a different plan for me. My first son was born in early march which I agree with you spring babies are best that away you don't have to be miserably pregnant in hot summer. My second on the other hand was conceived while not even attempting to have another child. I was on the pill and i did not miss any. He was conceived on my 6th wedding anniversary in mid march I was due to have a scheduled c-section on December 11th however, once again god had another plan...guess he understood why I didn't want a Christmas baby. A.J. was born on November 15th 2009. So my boys are 20 mths. apart. Ideally I would have had another when the first was 3 only because of the whole potty training and two in diapers is not always fun. Although when we realized I was pregnant again i started telling jack about the baby he understand as I got bigger he new to be easy and he is so loving and gentle with his brother its awesome to watch how wonderfully close they are even now AJ watches everything jack does and even though there are many challenges to having them close together which could be veiwed as negatives the joys of parenting two wonderful human beings totally outweigh the challeges and I love seeing the bond my boys are building and they don't even realize it. So sorry for being so long winded but my advice is don't plan it so much because as sure as you think you have it all planned it just might turn out to be totally different and being so planned on your idea age and conception might stress you out so as to not happen when you do want that other child and not to mention if it doesn't turn out they way you want you might not know how to make lemonade if life gives you lemons.

Updated

Hilary, here is my thoughts on children close in age. My sister and I where 5yrs apart and As i got older i looked up to her and now we are close but i also thought that was just too far apart. When i got married and had my first I as said my kids we be now more than 4yrs apart. However, the good lord had a different plan for me. My first son was born in early march which I agree with you spring babies are best that away you don't have to be miserably pregnant in hot summer. My second on the other hand was conceived while not even attempting to have another child. I was on the pill and i did not miss any. He was conceived on my 6th wedding anniversary in mid march I was due to have a scheduled c-section on December 11th however, once again god had another plan...guess he understood why I didn't want a Christmas baby. A.J. was born on November 15th 2009. So my boys are 20 mths. apart. Ideally I would have had another when the first was 3 only because of the whole potty training and two in diapers is not always fun. Although when we realized I was pregnant again i started telling jack about the baby he understand as I got bigger he new to be easy and he is so loving and gentle with his brother its awesome to watch how wonderfully close they are even now AJ watches everything jack does and even though there are many challenges to having them close together which could be veiwed as negatives the joys of parenting two wonderful human beings totally outweigh the challeges and I love seeing the bond my boys are building and they don't even realize it. So sorry for being so long winded but my advice is don't plan it so much because as sure as you think you have it all planned it just might turn out to be totally different and being so planned on your idea age and conception might stress you out so as to not happen when you do want that other child and not to mention if it doesn't turn out they way you want you might not know how to make lemonade if life gives you lemons.

We did 3 years between our boys. It was nice, my oldest was potty trained and understood what was going on more. He helped me out with diapers, bottles and things like that. My boys are now almost 4 and almost 11 months and they get along so well. My personal preference is 3 years; you would only (more than likely) have one in diapers and more the oldest would be more independent and that helps alot in the first few months. Whatever you decide good luck.

Hey! My boys are 2 years and one day apart. The negatives are the normal stuff- Being tired and sleep deprived with a newborn and then having a 2 yo that demands much of your attention for entertainment, having 2 in diapers is expensive, etc. I honestly think that transitioning from 1 child to 2 is stressful no matter if you space them out 2 or 3 years. Positives-They are now 1 and 3 and play together so well! They are loving to one another and it is a joy to see! If I could have my way we would be expecting number 3 right now and have all of them spaced 2 years apart.
Good luck and God bless!

First of all, don't plan TOO much, because it will happen when it happens.

My daughters are exactly three years apart, almost to the day, and they fight constantly. My 6-year-old is old enough to want to do 'older girl' things, and my three-year-old won't share, and is too young for my 6-year-old to understand her ever-changing moods. They are constantly at each other's throats.

My children are 4 years apart (June 20th and June 26th). This has been a great spacing for us and was planned. I can't speak for having a 2 or 3 year spacing, but 4 years minimized the amount of time we had to pay daycare for two, only had one year of two kids in the same school (conflicting events), we won't have two in college or two in braces at the same time (these are big things for us now, they are 15 and 11), there was never any sibling rivalry or real competitiveness.
Good luck

my daughters are 3 years apart, one born in June and one born in May. I think 3 years is better because my oldest was potty trained before the baby came, which made life alot easier! Also, my oldest had a better understanding of what was going on (baby in mommys belly, etc)
Good luck to you!!

3 years. My boys are 34 months apart. They are almost 8 & 5 yrs old now. They play well together and are best friends. Good luck.

There's no right answer. You can't determine the personality of your kids... so you never know if they'll be best friends or bitter enemies or indifferent or a mix of all 3. Some kids who are close hate each other, or are best friends, or are indifferent. Some kids who are far apart hate each other, or are best friends, or are indifferent.

So really, if you're planning, plan for YOU.

I know kids who are irish twins.. or 3 kids under 3 ... or 4 kids under 5 that the parents either love or hate how far apart they are, regardless of how they get along. I know kids who the closest sib is over 5 years apart (and the parents love or hate it) and kids who are 10 years apart (and the parents either love it or hate it).

The thing is... you're not talking about a major gap. A year is nothing. If you were looking at the difference between 2-3 years apart vs 5-6 years apart, or 2-3 vs 9-10 years apart... you have some major considerations (Just for example a 5-6 year spacing means you won't be paying 2 college tuitions at the same time, or closer to home; that each of your babies would get a lot of 1 on 1 time because the older one would be in school by the birth of your second)... but a year difference? There's no comparison to be made.

My boys are 2 1/2 years apart almost 11 and 8! And like others posted sometimes they are as close as can be and sometimes they fight like they are their worst enemies! But I wouldn't change anything about them or the spacing! The oldest is starting Jr High and the youngest is starting 3 grade! So the next time they will meet in school again is in high school! Now here is another story for you, my niece and nephew are 10 months apart, yes u read it right 10 months apart and they are close as can be! They right now are the same age as my niece just had a birthday and they both are 14 and in August my nephew will turn 15! Yea sure they have their fights, but I wouldn't dare anyone to mess with either of them because they stick up for each other! Good Luck with what ever you decide because it is your decision, because it is what is best for your family!

Hilary, I would suggest you consider 3 years apart, my only 2 children are 14 yrs apart as Things don't always go as planned... Needless to say I could get PG but kept losing my babies thus the 14 yrs between them.

I suggested 3 yrs. for you because at 3 most children are potty trained, can entertain/play/occupy themselves and have become more independent thus allowing you more time for an infant and any other domestic duties you need to take care of. In addition having a 3 yr old and infant you will be able to get out of the house if needed or desired without much of a delay.

If you have the children 2 yrs apart, it could prove to be overwelming
and you may not be able to enjoy the freedom to pick up & go. Keep in mind you may get some regression if you potty train once the baby arrives...

I always wanted my children 3 yrs apart, it didn't happen that way but o can now enjoy time spent with both of my children,my 2 "only's" :)

My sister & I were 21 months apart and we fought and there was jealousy
That I didn't even realize till we were in high school, for some reason it's still there today.

Good luck in your decision, just remember things
don't always happen the way we plan it may take longer than expected
just don't get caught up in being so specific have a buffer zone for those times when life just happpens :)

my girls are spaced 18 months apart. I enjoy it. I think the spacing is all a matter of personal preference. I don't know that my girls would be any more or less work if they were further apart in age. I can tell you this- at 18 months difference I have encountered minimal jealousy from my eldest, and I believe I will go through less regression with my eldest and my youngest will be quicker to pick up all the things the eldest does. I, personally, would not wait 3 years. That is just my feeling on it, though.

My children are 3 yrs apart...March 19th and March 21st.....did not plan the closeness it just happened that way. I like the age difference. They do argue and fight...but when it gets serious like one is missing or one goes to camp...the true colors shine...they love each other and can not live with out each other. I think later in life they are going to be the best of friends. At least that is what I'm hoping for them.

We planned our births too. Sometimes it doesn't work so keep that in mind. Lucky for us it did and we got pregnant right when we tried. Our children are almost exactly 2 1/2 yrs apart. The oldest is a boy and the youngest is a girl. They get along GREAT but recently they have started bickering more and more. All siblings will bicker but for the most part they really get along well and love each other. I get compliments all the time on how close they are. I say start trying next month and if you get pregnant right away they are 2 yrs apart and if not, maybe 2/12-3 yrs apart. They are all good. When it gets to be 5 or more yrs apart they have different dynamics when they get older and they are in separate schools and have separate friends. All kids have their own issues no matter how far apart. Good luck!

My girls are 3 years apart and they hate each other lol. I have a ton of friends who have kids who are 2 years apart and they are best friends and my friends who have kids 3 years apart have the same issue i have...

I had my 3 youngest within 4 years. It's difficult when they're little, but it's not so bad now that they're in elementary school. I honestly don't think age differences matter that much, except for your sanity, and then 1 is easiest! I think how they get along is going to depend more on their personalities.