Car Seat Grinding

My 3 1/2 yr old daughter is going through the same thing right now. If she puts a movie on or she decides to just lay down and take a break, she will go for it. I have told my husband about it and he doesn't think that's what she's doing. I have chosen to not make a big deal out of it because I've read all the books as well. I also think the problem is that I'm not sure she can determine that it's ok to do it and where is appropriate. Because this is so new with my daughter I just distract her from what she's doing. I'll start having a tea party or rolling the ball around to get her entertained by something else. I think that maybe when she's a little older or shows me a sign that she knows what she's doing, then I'll talk to her about privacy and doing it in her own room. All these other women are talking about having problems with their children when they were older and I think 3 yr olds just may not understand "privacy" (even though I think that is a good idea) I wish you the best of luck. Right now my distraction approach is working. She stops immediately and comes to have fun. I wonder if it's a boredom thing. I don't know and that's another issue probably.

This is completely normal for all children.... I totally freaked when my son went thru his little fad of finding himself, and exploring (mainly because one time it happened in front of his younger sister, he was 5 she was 1)...
Not knowing anything about how they begin to explore their sensations, which are normal and not bad and should not be punished.... I was afraid someone had been messing w/him, so I freaked and called the doctor!!!!
After, talking w/ the doctor and my mother.....
It is just a normal sensation that feels good to them (though they don't get an arousal that adults do), they just know it's a new sensation......
Don't ever punish them for it, make them feel bad/ wrong for it... But, do tell them that this is something we do where no one else can see us, so if you need to do it please go to another room and do it (bathroom/bedroom).... But, let them know you understand!!!!!

well- i know as a mom it can be an embarresing issue! my, now 11 y/o daughter, did that all the time. she finally seemed to outgrow it around 6-7ish. my mom told me i also did this as a child too! and at some point i outgrew it too! i think it is great that you do not embarras her about it! best f luck! M.

Hi K.. I had the same issue with grinding with my now 9 year old daughter. I did all the same things you have listed, from talking to her to talking to the doc. My daughter's ped. suggested a short talk about privacy and doing things like this when she's by herself in her room then dropping the subject. He said that if she's in the car or elsewhere and doing these things to simply say the word privacy. To say it in a calm voice and as quietly as possible, as to not draw attention from others as well as not make it seem like a punnishment. (This was discssed in the talk with my daughter about privacy as well) The point of the conversation was to explain to her that what she's doing isn't wrong but it is something that should not be done around others because it is a private thing. She's not being punnished but simply reminded to consider others around her and to be in a private place. So, after our little talk about all of this if/when she would do these things I would just look at her and quietly say the word "privacy" and she would stop. It only took about a week or so before she stopped completely. This all took place when she was about 7-7 1/2 years old. I know it can be a little uncomfortable to bring up subjects like this with your child but the doctor gave me a great suggestion that made it a lot easier and I was amazed that it worked so quickly.

I would suggest you ignore it. Completely. You said she knows she should do it in her room, so, to me, it seems like a power-struggle situation. It is totally normal and not harmful in anyway, so let her do it. You can gently remind her of the appropriate place and time, but you need to stop making a big deal out of it. She will outgrow this.

My now 8 y/o daughter use to do the same thing, only she liked to use another person's leg to grind on. At first I freaked out too and thought someone had been messing with her or she had been seeing things she shouldn't have been. I found out with my little one that she itched because she didn't wipe after she went potty. She didn't have an infection, but would just itch at different times of the day and that is how she found relief. I don't know if this could possibly be what your little one is going through, but I hope it helps. Best of luck to you and your little one!