Can't Help but Wonder

Just about any thought you have while pregnant is pretty normal! haha. if I could do it all over again (my daughter is 8 months and my son is 3 years old) I would have them back to back in a heart beat!! I have the easiest little ones you can imagine. I would totally love to have them closer in age! But I am happy either way, but having a preschooler and an 8 month old is very tough. The 3 year old is always seeking more attention, even though he gets way more attention than the baby ... it is more exhausting to have a toddler etc. I say good for you! You are going to be great and who cares what anyone else thinks!

I agree with Kaye. I think that the people that you know are probably wondering is she or isn't she.. This is for all levels.. Pregnant and happy?

We had a neighbor that seemed to be constantly pregnant for about 5 years and she had a physical appearance of always looking pregnant even after years of not being pregnant. People used to ask me all of the time if she was pregnant again.. Her mother was built the same way.

I told them I had learned from writer Dave Barry a good rule for life.. "unless she's wearing a "Baby on Board" t-shirt or she's going into labor right there in front of you and you can see the head crowning." Do not ask..

I think that it happens to us all. I have 6 children and am currently pregnant with #7. I have people ask me all the time if they are all mine. I also have 2 girls that are 14 months apart and look like twins....I get that question too but when I answer no, they look at me like I am wierd because they can't believe it. Sometimes we have to ignore the stares and not worry about what others think. You make choices in life that led you where you want to go, if you feel those choices are the best for you and your family, then don't worry what others will think. They don't have the whole picture/story. They only see a snap-shot of your life. Then don't know the reasons and feelings as to why you choose to do the things that you do. Just know that you are happy, your husband is happy and that the kids will be happy and well taken care of too. And if anyone asks....you hands aren't full, just your heart.
J.--SAHM of 6 soon to be 7.

While I am pragmatic enough to know that some people do judge others for things that seems so silly...

...I would like to assume that most people are pleasant and fair and that maybe we imagine judgment where none was intended.

One question...? Have you announced for pregnancy? If so, has the news spread far and wide at work?

If not....Maybe people are wondering if you are pregnant but can think of no polite way to ask. Perhaps if they did know that you were pregnant (instead of just "bloated") their faces would clear up and the first thing out of their mouth would be "Congratulations!"

Conversely, if you have told everyone at work...Have you made your announcement with joy? Do they know you are happy about this pregnancy? Maybe they are hesitant because they wonder how you are feeling about it?

People judge for a variety of reasons. I had so many stares and whispers when I was pregnant. I do daycare and always had various children with me in public of various of ages and ethnic groups. People just assumed I was a tramp that really got around! I couldn't very well just confront every evil stare or assume every whisper was about me. The best you can do is hold your head up high and don't worry about what they are thinking.

Just one of many times that you will have the opportunity to learn to ignore what other people think. This gets easier with time! At nearly 50, now I kinda look forward to the oportunities to go my own way in life and wait patiently for that one person who is really going to say something...it makes my day anymore.

Don't let it get you down at work, and be happy with your blessings and your choices for your family. It is the ultamate in MYOB-this is your B, and forget about them.

Good luck with number 2!
M.

Don't let it get to you. Mine are 4 yrs, 2 yrs and 2 yrs apart which isn't as close as yours but I'm expecting again and people seem to be in shock about me having 4 kids......"why so many kids", "you're so brave"....stuff like that but my husband always makes me feel better and says "hey it's our life not theirs so let them worry about their own, not ours." and he's right, we don't ask anyone for anything, we raise our kids the best way possible and provide them a safe loving home so no one should care right? Some people are just weird, and rude. The ones staring or making you feel uncomfortable probably don't have any kids right? Or I'm assuming older kids? Just don't let them get to you....congrats on your new bundle of joy. Feel blessed you have a great family and a supportive loving husband......take care!

My kids are just about 13 months apart so I felt the same. I just ignored them and enjoyed my pregnancy. You seem very happy about the arrival of your 2nd.. so just enjoy it!!

Good Luck and Congratulations!

It is normal to have those thoughts cross your mind but you are right, it doesn't matter what others think!

Enjoy your babies...you will be so thankful they are so close together one day, when you realize what buddies/friends they are and how well they play together and how cool it is that they will be together in school for most of their lives!

Congrats on #2!

I just had to post because I have BEEN one of those other people before. lol
Most of your responses seem to be of the variety that tells you how to ignore what you are perceiving... but I think it isn't a matter of that... but a matter of the people around you maybe not knowing how YOU feel about it all... or even knowing if you ARE pregnant and not knowing a polite way to ask and feeling weird about not acknowledging something that may or may not be very obvious. People get all weird on you when they don't know what to do/say/acknowledge. If you address that, then you might find that nobody is weird around you anymore.

My pastor's wife just had baby number 5 a few months ago. I thought she was pregnant WAY before she was showing or told anyone... and I asked her... "are you pregnant?" (she was nauseous several days I had seen her within about a 3 week period) and she said "not that I know of"... so I didn't say anything else for WEEKS..... well, like 2 months. When it started to become obvious to me, but there wasn't an announcement made, I started wondering if there was a problem with the pregnancy, or if she was unhappy to be pregnant again or something. So I dreaded being rude by either not acknowledging something literally right there in front of me, or by asking about her being pregnant if she wasn't and I had been wrong about her increasing belly size, etc... Same token, another woman I am acquaintances with, looked to be a little larger and I thought... she looks pregnant... but she also had just had a baby, her 3rd, (less than 7 months before) and with each pregnancy had gained a little weight... so I was afraid to ask her b/c I honestly didn't KNOW and it would be way rude to ask if she was just getting big in the belly and NOT pregnant. I only saw her very infrequently and in groups where there wasn't a lot of personal chit-chat, and until the birth announcement arrived, I never was comfortable around her, b/c I just did not know if she was or wasn't.

I would make sure that a few close friends at work KNOW that you ARE and that you ARE very EXCITED about it. Tell them to feel free to share the wonderful news! I'll be there are a lot of your co-workers who will be relieved to know one way or the other. :)
(There might also be a few who are not thrilled, thinking about your post-delivery absence from work, and how that might impact them... but I wouldn't pay any attention to them about that. That is between you and your employer, not them.)

I think it is totally normal for us to wonder or worry about what others think of us to the point where there are entire industries that prey and focus on these thoughts (media/marketing/advertising).

What you do in your life is your business and you do not need to consult your work or answer to anyone there about your family life. The people that are staring at you are probably jealous because your love life is obviously healthy, well, and kicking and there's is obviously not. That thought put a smile on my face at work when I was pregnant;)

Totally normal- don't stress it, plenty of people have them close. One of my friends has a 7, 3,1, and a newborn. CRAZY! I have three and I am crazy too! We all are different and be happy you have a healthy baby and one on the way! Good Luck!

M.
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Most of these responses have to do with how this is your own business (and your husband's) and not to get too self-conscious, etc....which is fine, as far as it goes, but I thought it was worth addressing the potential problems this might cause at work assuming you plan to go back. I don't know what kind of job you have, but if you haven't been "mommytracked" with baby #2, you are almost certain to be with baby #2 (especially because they are so close). No, it's not fair, but it happens. If you want to preserve your options at work, you should be thinking this through and find ways of convincing your bosses that you are as committed to the job as ever. If it's "just a job" feel free to ignore this....and congratulations on #2!

No matter what they say or look at you remember this is your body and your life so go out there and enjoy that you can have children and tell them one or both: mind your own business and/or you are just jealous! People will always talk and say things about others that is human nature and there is nothing you can do to change that. So take care of yourself, eat properly and exercise as needed and most important enjoy your children as they are the best in this world!!!! So when someone looks at you with a funny face you look them directly in the eye (because they will bow their head) and say "Yes I am and proud of it" and add gifts are always welcome-bet they leave you alone or even better get you and the baby a gift!!!

My kids are 14 onths apart and the second was a surprise, but oh how great it is. They nap the same sleep the same and so forth. It was tough since my 2nd had acid reflux, but in the end it is awesome. I would love a third, but think to myself I am not sure I would like to go back to baby again after all theses years. L.:)

Normal. And I totally admit that I would probably be a little freaked out on your behalf BUT I'm also aware that it's due to my OWN issues. My reptile brain sees someone pregnant with a small child and starts hyperventilating because I can't imagine myself doing it, but, as a for instance, my grandmother had two of her five children 14 months apart and she absolutely loved it, so I know it can be done and done well. (Also, the younger of the those two is my mother so clearly it wasn't a terrible thing now was it?)

Hi, My kids are 16mths apart and yes, it is like having twins!!! But I would not want it any other way, the are babies together and big girls together....Just had my 3rd one 8mths ago, there is 4yrs between my youngest and my middle and I hate that I have to work backwards, now I have to wait for more years for him to even enter school, While to will be finished Highschool, my last one will just be starting...Ahhh!!! Had I planned better, they would be 16mths or earlier apart!! You are doing it right!!

Feelings are never bad; you can't help how you feel. Yes, it is normal. People love to judge other people; why is that? Just human nature? Your family is your business. Enjoy your pregnancy and let others do what they do. Their issues do not have to affect you. Best wishes!

Ignore them! Be happy! If anyone has any issue with you having kids close together thats their problem! Not yours! My boys are 20 months apart and I love it! It was not as hard as everyone said it would be. Once they both talk it gets a little harder because then they fight! lol.... But about work, Be proud. Show off your belly. If you look/act nervous and if they think you are embarrassed or disappointed about it, then they will treat you like that. If you show them that you are happy and proud, then they will be happy for you! :)

I see you already got alot of responses, but I was in the same boat as you. My two boys are 12 months and 2 weeks apart. People couldn't believe we were having another so soon. He wasn't planned at all. Neither of our boys were, but we charished that they would be close in age. We had it rough in the beginning b/c our second had colic for the longest time (or so it seemed), but it was easy to put them on the same schedule. I didn't worry about what others thought, we were thrilled and that was all that mattered. We get asked all the time if they are twins, and I swear the next person who asks, I'm going to say yes (LOL). Plus we weren't quite out of "baby" mode, so it was easy to have another. We are expecting our 3rd son in 5 wks. and I"m nervous to go back to the "baby" stage. hehe. Congratulations on your growing family.