I turn 35 this year (yikes!) and feel that beyond being a Mom, Wife, maintaining a household and having a Career that I really don't have much of a life. Our group of Friends has begun to dwindle in that we are all starting to go our own ways. Our kids are all under the age of 12 but with all the activities we are all just busy. My career is demanding and at times I work nights and weekends. I feel guilty as it is when I work extra nights in weekends in that I am away from the kids so where does anyone have time to have a life??? I don't have many close girlfriends anymore as again, we have all started to grow apart. My husband and I have a great relationship but we struggle to get out and do date night. We know it should be a weekely thing but who can afford a babysitter each time you go out. Both our parents live here but they sometimes aren't as flexible or as open to watching the kids as we would like. I feel old and yet I am not. I feel lonely but am always around people. I will admit that I have a hard time committing to doing things with friends because my job is ever changing and I find myself exhausted half the time. My kids are young and aren't involved with much, yet. How does anyone find the time to have a career, be a wife, be a mother, take care of the house, take the dogs on walks, go on date night and have a social life??? I think I am just venting . . .
Hey Ladies . . . thank you to all that responded. I know we all, or maybe it is just me, want to be super women and have it all. Some of us can do it and some of us can't. How women do and have it all I will never know, so kuddos to you if you are one of those women :) I want the career, the family, the life, the great house, the vacations, etc, etc. I am slowly but surely realizing that something has to give. There isn't enough time in my life to have EVERYTHING and be sane. Unless I was able to have an assistant, a house keeper and a dog walker - LOL! Thanks again for the encouragement. Just going through a rough moment, contemplating a career change and am contemplating having another baby believe it or not. Anyway, thanks to you all!!!!! Not sure how I am going to move forward but am trying to be positive and in general finding time for me :)
It would be great if all these moms H. in Mamapedia who live in the same city or in the same are get together, why not?...That would be really nice, get together moms, at the park, at the pool, at the playground, at Barnes and Nobles, everywhere is fine when there is a real need for friendship, real need for giving and receiving....and just have a great time.....!Go!!!
I thought Mamapedia was my social life.
Sandy, mamapedia is my social life too. LOL
I feel your pain! Sorry I don't have any advice for you, but sometimes it makes me feel better to know that others are having the same problems. Good luck! :)
For the past few years I have felt the same way as you. Just this past year we started seeing our friends more. It's not like we were the only ones busy with life, they were too. We are finally at that point in life where our children can play together nicely so that we can have a conversation with our friends. We sometimes get together for pizza & a movie on a Friday night with some friends. We are usually doing that anyways so why not do it together or else we get together at someones house for a campfire. We include the kids so that we still can get together with friends, but realize this time in your life is not permanent. Soon they will not want to do anything with us. So I take it for what it is worth. It's not like we will never be able to go out by ourselves again.
Good Luck and your not alone!
Ok ladies.... date night make a date and keep it. Get a neighbor to watch the kids or a friend that you can watch theirs another night. Even if it is just to walk the dog do it. spend your money on a babysitter and go get an ice cream and take it to a park. Sit on the bench and laugh at the other parents with their kids. find a concert in the park bring a teenager to help with the kids...see if you can pay them less because you are there. Now time with friends...make it a once a month thing and whoever gets there does. just make the comitment. Do it at someone's home and have the hubbies take the kids and they all go out for pizza....You can do this. It is tuff been there done that and fortunately learned that if you do not you will lose the connections. So, it is still tuff now but at least my girls are 16 and 9 now. I am recently divorced and am trying to put a date in here and there. So, let's see how I put this into the schedule so give me a year or so and maybe I will have advice for this one. To all you who said this is a social network yes it is. so LOL and good luck
I can relate. I'm 44 and have been through all those emotions :) I don't go anyplace. Only I've carved out a life I live right at home and am past the need to "get out"....most of the time.
You may need care you can afford. I do 24 hour care North of the River and there's plenty of night life, nice reseraunts, and good places to eat over here. I even do whole weekends if you want to let your hair down for REAL. I only charge 25 for one and 40 for 2 for the night and you can even keep them over and pick them up in the morning for the SAME price. I know it all adds up. But this is for your sanity and even once per month would be better than nothing :) I have had a lot of parents use me from your direction through the years. But most have fizzled out because of financial concerns. One of my moms is still with me though after...a couple years? Seems like a long time and I don't really remember. If it's weekly, I may be able to come up with a better price :)
My kids are 11 and 14 now, and life is getting easier. I stayed home with the them and was very lonely. We did try to do Wednesday date night, even if it was just sitting on the porch with a beer and the baby monitor. It took a while to make new mom friends via play dates and eventually my kids school friends moms. I went back to work when the youngest was 7, and that was a struggle for a while. Now everything is getting easier (except my youngest has dyslexia and ADD and we are fighting with the school to get her on an IEP - but that is another story). I now have friends at work that I eat lunch with. My school friends from college are all over the world and we communicate via email or FaceBook. My mom friends are local and I see them occasionally. I should also make more effort to make dinner dates or walking dates with my friends, but we are all overbooked. I am glad I work and have lunch buddies for my daily dose of adult talk. Hang in there, the baby & toddler years are HARD, the tiredness, the constant guiding, never any real down time. It does get easier, so ask for as much help as you can. If you had a break down and needed help the grandparents would be willing to help, so why not try to arrange something with them now before you have that nervous breakdown? Wishing you strength.
embrace what you have....because it's only there for a little while!
Right now, you are in that time crunch where you're doing all the transporting......teen drivers are right around the corner & life will get easier. The kids will also be spending more nights at friends' houses, & that's when date night fits in easier. This weekend is a perfect example: our older son was working out of state & our younger son was gone for the weekend with Scouts. Date weekend!!!!
As for those dog walks, get the kids or DH to do it! ....unless it's your wind-down time or your own exercise time. Delegate more within the household & you'll find life easier. My sis & I were responsible for 90% of the household duties, including cooking! That's how we were able to spend most wkends at our lake house....with both parents working full weeks.
Since you mentioned that you & your girlfriends are starting to grow apart, set aside 15 minutes today to send each of them a text/email/call & tell them this! You might be surprised to see what their responses are....& you may end up with a greater support group right there in your own backyard! I wish you Peace.....& it will get better.....
