I Am So Lonely.

Hugs! All the ladies gave you wonderful advice, but I know that there is sometimes just no substitute for spending time with your husband! I hope things get better for you!

I totally understand what your feeling. It's hard. I'm in the same situation. Some days are easier than others. On days that I'm most lonely I take the kids to the park and try to pick up a conversation with another mom that is at the park too. It's important for me to have something planned out every day so that I feel I have purpose. My kids are almost 2 and 4. My youngest has been hard to take out in public places. But now that she's getting a little older we've been getting better at going out. Nothing I do ever feels the void I have missing my husband, but as long as I can keep busy I do ok. Our week usually goes something like this... Mondays we go to the park (hopefully find someone to talk to), tuesdays I'll take them to the indoor pool, Wednesdays is story time at the library, thursday is my 4 yr olds play dates that us moms use to have someone to talk to, Fridays my 4 yr old has tumbling at the same time I take my 2 yr old to mommy & me singing. It's really import for me to be able to talk to other people. Another thing that help me is I've been able to join a group of ladies in my neighborhood that walk every weekday morning. We talk and enjoy each others company. The exercise is great for mood boosting too. Make sure you have something that you love to do and that is for you.

I struggle every day to keep from being depressed. Being a SAHM is a blessing, but its hard. My husband works full time and is going to school full time too. To say that he's busy is a understatement. It's hard not to complain, but I can't or I make him feel bad. And he's got enough on his plate than to worry about me.

The advice I can give you is (this is something that took me a long time to figure out) to make yourself a life that is meaningful, fun, and full of things that make you happy. I felt like my life was on hold when he went to work. I didn't do anything, go anywhere, or find me. It's wonderful when my husband is home, but I have enjoy the time when he's away to. Unlike you I was never the type that liked to do stuff alone. I really rely on others. Too much I think. I'm just now starting to figure out who I am.

Get yourself involved in something that makes you happy. From another mom that knows exactly what your going through know that your not alone. If you ever need to talk pm me. I'd love to talk.

You need to have a long, sincere and honest talk with your man.....Please do not delay. If he is not willing to hear or understand, then I guess you have your answer.

Blessings...

SQUEEEZEE!!!! That was how much I would hug you if I could! haha- I can completely relate to you- same story I worked part time until Hubs got a new job which requires lots of travel and I became a SAHM- We live in 10 buck 2 with no neighbors (well 1 really, just currently unoccupied) . When this transition first started it was very very difficult for me. I was doing everything alone with our kids, and I was so envious to see actual families together. I missed him terribly, and felt very nervous at night (I slept very little for months)- I spent so much time just felling alone- It does make you feel sad-
SO! I figured I better do something about it, b/c this whole change was no good! - - I started a little side business- I have a little shabby chic booth inside an antique mall in our area- I love love love it!! I love being creative anyway, but this is just so fun! I spend time going around buying up ugly things and then make them pretty again- I work on it during naps and after bedtime- and before I knew it- I have no time to be lonely! So I know this obviously isn't an interest for everyone- but I would suggest doing something for yourself. Join a gym, a book club, a mom's club, scrapbooking?, sewing?, I don't know- whatever your interests are, find a way to make them work for you! You'll be surrounded by companions before you know it! Most importantly, enjoy those little ones! It's not easy filling the shoes of mom and dad, and I catch myself getting nerved out all the time- but I have to remember, me doubling up on duty is not their fault, they need a happy mama! Chin up and God Bless!!

Where in gilbert are you at girlfriend? I totally understand. We should do lunch or movie or something. Seriously. Send me a message if you want. My hubby is oot alot and it does effect you I feel anyways.

Are your kids in school? If so, maybe you shpuld get another PT job or volunteer somewhere. There are many lonely people in nursing homes, hospitals and shelters who would love for you to spend some time with them!

Not sure how old your kid is but if they are school age try volunteer work...if they are preschool age then look into putting them into part time care it is great for them and you! they get to socialize, do your homework though and find a good place. While your child is at daycare make dates to meet your husband for lunch! that way you get that time back during the day gives you and him something to look forward to in the middle of the day. on days he cant meet you do those things you use to do by yourself again, like shop, take in a movie and run errands keep busy! lol

My husband has had various seasons in his career where he has either worked incredibly long hours or traveled a lot. It was difficult to adjust to, and I remember hating him being gone. Eventually, I developed my own routine and started doing my own thing, if you will. Still home, but doing various crafts, hobbies, etc. I love it when he's home and available, but he isn't always. I try never to complain to him about it because what he is doing is hard on him, and such a blessing to the family. I try to support him, encourage him, thank him. When he is home, I try to make sure the house looks beautiful and neat (important to him), that it smells nice, that I look nice, the kids are bathed and fresh, excited to see him. The last thing I want him to come home to is a mopey, depressed wife. I want him eager to come home to us. Martin Luther once said, "Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave." Isn't that a great quote? That's my goal. He works so hard for us. I try to do the same within my realm of responsibility. It makes for sweet harmony when we are all together.

I felt the same way when I became a SAHM. I went to Bible studies that had childcare and tried to make friends with neighborhood moms.
I finally started a home-based business.
Now that my boys are older, I teach exercise classes part time. I also took an engraving class and will be able to earn some money doing something really fun. Recently, I also became a hospice volunteer.

Try joining a moms club in your area. That was my saving grace when my kids were little. You can find the chapter closes to you by going to www.momsclub.org. Good luck!

I'm right there with ya. Although my hubby lost his job back in january so we are going through a really rough patch, and being alone doesn't help at all. we have tried making friends with others who have children, but everyone seems to be too busy to make time or room for newbies. so we are by ourselves. when my husband does get another job, i'll be alone again. i feel like these walls have closed in on me. i don't cope very well sometimes. i have to get out, but i can't. i want to go visit a friend, but the ones i know are too busy. i have had a couple of parties, invited people, and no one shows up. ugh...so right now i'm in a holding pattern in making new friends because we just don't have the money to go anywhere. and with my experience, if you have no money, you have no friends. it shouldn't be that way though. even though you have no money, friends should still come and visit...but i haven't encountered one that would.
i can really relate. hang in there. big HUGS to you! :-)

We both work full time, but I work days and my husband works evenings and Sundays, so we're apart from the time I leave for work (by 8 a.m. and he's still sleeping with the kids) until he gets home (after 11:15 p.m. if he's relieved on time), so if you don't count the fact that I don't actually "see" him in the morning, we're apart for over 15 hours a day. He's off Friday so we have Friday evening as a family when I get home, and all day Saturday. He tries to go to church with us before work on Sunday, but then works until 11, so we don't really have family "together" time for more than an hour or two.

It really stinks. We try to focus on why we do what we do. Our schedules allow our kids to be home with one of us most of the time, and keep care affordable since we only pay a few friends for a few hours a day for the overlap in our schedules. It also means that if the kids are sick I only have to come home from work a little early to relieve my husband rather than missing a whole day like I would if they were in daycare.

I do get frustrated since when it comes to the house we both are like single parents. We're alone with the kids before or after our work shift, exhausted, taking care of an almost 5-year-old, a 3-year-old, and a 7-month-old. It is hard to get things done around the home that are necessary, harder still to do things around with them, activities, playing outside, etc. Sometimes I think that if he weren't heading to work after he'd have more energy, sometimes I think that if I weren't coming off of a full day I'd have more energy (or if I got more than four or five hours of sleep on a good night), but this schedule will get us through the early years. We're not well off, but it works and I try to focus on being thankful we have jobs and a place to live and children who are happy and well-adjusted.

I do miss my husband a lot and LOVE our Saturdays (which is why we both hate it when I occassionally have to work a Saturday). We don't go on dates (too expensive) but we hang out after the kids go to bed and talk or read the same books so we can chat about them. We also call each other at work at least once every day, often more, but not in a nauseating way, mostly checking on the kids. It does stink, though, I won't pretend otherwise. :)

There is so many moms groups in az , many different chapters all over the valley. They plan activities and moms night out. Also there is meetup.com that you can put in an interest like scrapbooking or hiking and come along. PM me if you need some guidance in finding a place for you to step into. Church too has studies and events to go too. I would have not surrvived without a group when I was a SAHM. It saved me with social time and moms night out.

I can relate. I've posted similar posts (it was particularly bad about a year ago when my husband traveled for weeks in a row and didn't even come home on weekends for a few weeks). In fact, he's gone again this week... I admit I do get lonely... even when I see people during the day, my evenings are lonely, but I like to read, surf the web (research different house projects we are planning), mamasource, facebook (I often chat with girlfriends on FB after the kids are in bed).

I also joined the parent Advisory Council at my son's preschool, it forces me to get to know some of my community. I really need that push sometimes, and it's been good to help get to know other parents.

I do see a few of the Mom's in the neighborhood every morning on the walk to school, although we are all so busy I don't feel like I've made a real connection with any of them, it's nice to know they are in the 'hood and would be there if I ever needed help with anything.

Message me if you want to chat more, I totally understand how you feel.

J.

Do you have children?

Find something to occupy your time.

Join the Y and take some aerobics classes
Volunteer the school, SPCA, hospital,
Make memories with the kids
Go to church with or without him
Teach Sunday School or the Wednesday nite program.

My husband used to deploy, (he's retired) I was so busy I didn't have time to miss him.

I'm so sorry to hear that you're lonely. When I started staying home 4 years ago, I was lonely too. Around the time my daughter turned 1, I joined a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group. Your kids don't have to be in preschool for you to join -it's open to moms expecting with kiddos up to age 5 or so. It's a wonderful organization that has provided a lot of support to me. I've also made some forever friends. Check out www.mops.org to find a group near you.

Make friends with other moms via library programs, playgroups, gymboree, whatever type things you can join. Go out of your way to socialize with the kids and before you know it you'll have a busy network of friends. I have been there. I know it is hard! I have a really good network of mom friends now all very close to me, so it is not a problem any more. My hubby is an accountant, plus is studying for his CPA exam and has been back in school for the past couple of years, so I know EXACTLY how you feel doing things on weekends with the kids alone! I have taken them to the Bronx Zoo, Coney Island aquarium, Children's museum and everywhere you can think of by myself. Or with other mom friends and their kids. You can do it! Meanwhile, of course, use us!!

Get a dog, I recommend a Boxer or American (standard) bulldog. I know it may sound strange to add to your chores but as a stay at home mom/office manage for our company and a wife to a man that is gone a lot it has really helped. I can tell my dog anything (even the stuff I wouldn't dream of telling my son or husband), he doesn't talk back (usually), and he is happy to go with me on a walk, to the bank, or any other dog friendly places (his fav. is the bed for nap time). He has kept me laughing and kept me company plus I get some exercise. My son is in 2nd now and Elvis (the dog) has made transitions smoother for all of us.

I would call up my friends. Every morning I would work out and then we would eat back every calorie we burned going to lunch. :)

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. That would be very hard.

Can you guys compromise? I don't know your situation or how young your kids are, but would you be interested in going back to work PT in exchange for his working fewer hours? Then you could have some adult interaction, structure and stimulation (all of which helps you to be a better mommy!) in addition to more time as a family. In my opinion, I would rather have that some of the time than be alone all the time.

I'm just not willing to have my husband work like crazy at the expense of him not being around for us. I would rather help by working / trading off. He only gets one life too, and it's too short to not be able to enjoy each other, you know?

Again, I don't know the specifics of your situation, so I'm not telling you what to do, I just think that's what I'd do if I were in the same boat.

*hugs*

My hubby works 2 hours away, so he leaves at 430 am and gets home about 6pm. Our kids are all in activites so we split and go seperate directions 3 nights a week. When we are both home, I'm busting my tail on my Master's classes, so while he is there, we aren't spending time together. We had a talk a while ago about making it a priority to spend time together at least once a week. If that is sleeping in late on a weekend morning to cuddle in bed, or holding hands in church, or eating dinner as a family. We have to adjust for what the days bring, but just knowing that you guys have a connection is good. I'll send my hubby texts during the day just letting him know I love and appreciate him. And I'll get them randomly from him. Those little things that let us know we are thnking about each other helps too. Talk to your hubby, and let him know what you need. Maybe you can talk more on the phone during the day?

Find a mommy and me class to meet others in your same boat. Places like dance studios will sometimes offer mommy/me dance classes, Gymboree, My Gym, fitness classes for moms and tots, Stroller Stride classes etc... I find those are where I meet other moms to have play dates with or at least get good conversation for a little while in my day.

My husband travels, we own our company, I am heavily involved with the financial running if the company.

My daughter is 16. I have also been heavily involved at the school. At her elementary school, I substitute. Not much, although I could 3days a week. It keeps me around children ( I love) and socially ( I love)

Get involved with your child.... Storytime a libraries, bookstores, music etc.

Through your child and neighbors, you meet people, make friends.

Hang in there.. Keep trying to meet by being involved! Good luck!

My husband worked long hours, multiple jobs, and even on weekends he would not be home. He has a very strong work ethic, and will not stop working til everything is done. It was fine when we were starting out in our marriage, and my son was younger ( birth to 4 years). However, I can identify with your loneliness. You can talk to your friends anytime, have control of the remote, eat when you want, and go out with your child anytime. Nothing will fill the void of having a companion around you, or doing things as a whole family. It brought a lot of stress into our marriage, and I started to resent him. We had long talks, and he pretty much got the point that I was miserable. We prayed that we would find a resolution. Two years later, he was able to find a job where he travels, but his office is in our home. All of the sacrifices we made, has finally paid off.

I would consider talking to him about your loneliness, and that you really miss having him around you. It will wear on you, and he needs to know how you feel.

I just want you to know that you're not alone and that this is very common. I am very similar to how you described yourself, but since becoming a WAHM, I've really found myself to be lonely. I would definitely suggest finding a group to join. Meetup.com is a great place to start. There are lots of free groups or ones with minimal annual fees (I think MOPS is a little more expensive...?). Check your local hospitals, too. They may offer mom classes that you could go to for free. Just anything to get out once in a while and interact with other moms. You never know when a new friendship might bloom! Also, make sure you're planning a date night now and then. It doesn't have to be on a schedule (once a month, etc.) but just make sure it's happening so you don't lose that connection with your hubby. I, too, have felt badly for feeling the way that I do, but we moms need some interaction that involves something OTHER than diapers and bottles! Good luck to you!