Busy 8 Month Old!

You can state what he can't do and distract him with what he can do, but any other kind of disciplining won't mean anything to him for several more months. Kidproof everything you can, try to make him make eye contact when you are instructing him, try to be consistent--and take deep breaths!

There are two main startegies, which you should both use:
First: kidproof EVERYTHING! Your life will be much less stressful if you don't have to be on his heels ALL THE TIME to keep him from getting into things. He will turn into a toddler soon, and toddlers love exploring things - it is a necessary part of their development.
So second: say words you want to use (no touch for example)and distract/redirect immediately. So when he is getting into something you cannot childproof, tell him it's not for playing and move him to an alternative activity. His toys will probably work for now, but when he is older you may want to have a cabinet or box, or both of safe household items to explore. You will have to do this over and over again, just stay calm and gentle and remember that it is just a phase and he will learn eventually.

I would definitely cover EVERY outlet with the outlet plugs. I even bought extras to put in the diaper bag for when we go to other people's houses. Lock up anything poisonous. I have a 2 1/2 year old and an 11 month old. I have always had two drawers in the kitchen for them and a cupboard. When they open the other drawers/cupboards, I tell them "Not yours," and redirect them to "their" drawer/cupboard. The cupboard consists of their dishes, tupperware, and big plastic coffee to go cups. The drawers have tupperware and stainless steel lids, cookie cutters and the lids to their sippy cups. We keep the bathroom doors closed and once they grab something that we don't want them to have, it goes up beyond their reach. "Not yours" and "gentle" are our biggest catch phrases. Good Luck with the diaper changing issue. My son got a few swats on his butt before he stopped doing the "flip trick".

GREAT question---. Distract, distract, distract. - so he's reaching to sit up during diaper changes? - natch- it's boring--. Either put a mirror where he can look at himself and gesture to himself ( have you tried teaching him some baby signs?) - or give him toys he only gets to hold when he's on the diaper-table. Pulling hair?? -- try a stuffed animal or doll that has hair - but start using a kind, gentle ''' no kidding''' - tone - ''' my hair is not to pull'' and take his hand off- if it takes 20 times- then it does- but some directions are ''you must'' ( hot stoves, electric sockets - and yes, to me- pulling hair is in that categorie- he can't -- I used the same strategy when my then 2 year old grandaughter learned that she could take off her car seat harness --- not only did the car stop but all toys, snacks, etc disappeared --- until she got the message that the car seat harness was NOT to be messed with- it takes time, and patience and persistance- but these are the beginning of '''when Mom/Dad say 'no' in THAT tone- I might as well give up''' - .

You can do it-
Blessings,
J. - aka - Old Mom

The best discipline at this age is distraction. You've taken the first step when you let him know what you want him to do. The next step is to give him something that he can do. In this way you are teaching him how to manage his own actions.

When he's doing or about to do something you don't want him to do remove him from the place that he's at and give him something else to do. For example, reaching for the outlet. Tell him "no touch" just as you're doing now; then turn him around and away from the outlet and give him a toy.

When he's pulling your hair while you're changing him, tell him whatever you usually say, and then give him something else to do.

As for diaper changing you could vary the toys that you have available when you do so and give him one or two of those that he can play with while on his back. Perhaps you're already doing this. I've found that singing silly songs while touching his nose or his feet etc. helps. Any move that surprises them can help too. Distracting them from their goal helps them be able to do what you've asked them to do.

My grandchildren are 5 and 8 and I'm still sometimes able to distract them with a quick tickle to the knees or ribs. It breaks their focus from insisting that they do what they want to do. I have to quickly go on to what I'm wanting done before they stop giggling and go back to their stubborn, "no," stance. This works less often as they get older and only works if I can let go of my frustration and anger. The tickling helps me to calm down too. I've found that the more intense I am about demanding that they do something the more stubborn they get.

I don't remember if tickling worked as well when they were 8 mos. old. Seems like it might have gotten them moving more so that it was difficult to change the diaper. But it did work when I wanted to get them to think about something else.

I've found that just being consistent about what she can and cannot do is really helpful. My daughter quit pulling my necklace and now just plays with the pendant while she's breastfeeding which is fine with me. I also found that once she figured out how to crawl the rolling during changes improved and once she started walking, she almost always stays on her back to get changed. We still occasionally have issues with her pulling my hair, but since mine is curly, it's fun for her to watch is spring back. Still a little annoying, but she no longer pulls so much that it hurts.

I'll second or third the advice on stating what he can't do and then direct him to what he can do. And baby proofing your house. Pick your battles. If you really like to wear necklaces then choose that and two other things like not touching sockets (even with the safety plugs in place) to teach him not to play with. Once he's got that down, you can add other things that you want him to learn. Of course, most of the time, they find them for you!

Diaper changes can be quite the challenge. I've used singing goofy songs mostly. Giving him some treasured item that stays on the changing table also helps. I would expect that something along these lines will help you at this age. If you can make it a special time for them, they fight it less. If you let it be just the chore it is, they fight it more. Sometimes taking a minute to massage their legs or belly or play a kissing game will make all the difference. Don't feel bad if things get out of hand now and again. Just keep trying to keep your inner peace intact. My son is particularly stubborn and at 2.5, I am so glad he's potty training!

Best wishes,
K.

It sounds like you're doing just about all you can at this point. You probably know as a counselor that you're tone and demeanor mean more than anything, which will hold true for many years to come. Even when you get frustrated, as long as you stay calm (which is really hard sometimes when they get to the toddler stage) but stay firm in your voice, your son will get it.

I definitely suggest baby proofing everything, if you haven't already as well. Get down on the floor and see what he sees.

Good luck! :o)

When my son was 8mo he started walking! So, lucky you, you still have time to relax. But I know exactly what you are going thru right now. My almost 7mo old is just in the last couple weeks crawling, and into EVERYTHING.
Try using some simple sign language with your son. It worked soo well for me when my son was that age. And be consistent, no matter what, if you don't want them to have something, make sure it is always off limits. If you go back and forth they will never actually learn.
Good luck

D.,

For the diaper changes, maybe give a toy or book to play with? Or maybe have the other parent sit at his head and play with him while the change happens. Otherwise either move the changes to the floor where he can't hurt himself, or becomes Super Speedy Diaper Changer.

For the outlets there are plastic plugs that you can insert into the outlets that don't let him even have access to them. You can get a pack of 30 for around $2.00 at Babies R Us.

For the pulling of Mommy's hair and things like that repetition repetition repetition. My daughter will be 2 in march and we still have to repeat the same things over and over again.

Good luck,
Melissa

I think consistency is the most important thing in disciplining. There are so many different ways to discipline and from what I have experienced in working with large groups of kids for 6 years, nannying 2 girls for a couple years and then staying home with my own two boys the last 3 years is that you may have to try a few different types of discipline with your son before you find one that really works. Once you do though, be consistent. Babies are so smart and if you say something and don't follow through, they pick up on that. ie: If something is a "don't touch" item one time and another time (maybe when you are in a hurry) you let it slide, it will only further the limit pushing your son will try the time after that. Consistency is hard in the short run, but really pays off in the long run, and cuts down on power struggles when the child knows that there are clear expectations of what their behavior should be. Also, unfortunately, if you have another child, they will most likely need a completely different kind of discipline. My sons are completely opposite in how they respond to discipline, so we are having to do a lot of things differently with our second son. A lot of work, but well worth it. Our boys are definitely not perfect, but we have been enjoying a lot of compliments from family, friends and even strangers (in places like restaurants) about how well behaved our kids are. I don't think we have any kind of neat secret in how to get well behaved kids, just be consistent in whatever form of discipline you think works best with your child's personality and make sure you and your husband are on the same page discipline-wise. Good luck!! I hope this isn't way too long winded, and that you can glean something from it that can be helpful to you. Happy New Year!!

For us, this has been hard too. But a book called "UNconditional Parneting" has been a great guide. If anyone is interested in forming a group to meet & discuss & have baby play, I'd be very interested! good luck!