Break up Advice with a 3 yr.old

Hi K.:) I'm S., new to this board. I am also a single mom in a relationship now. I don't really have any other advice to give, since the ladies before me have given some excellent advice of their own. I just wanted to give you a hug and wish you good luck in everything.

S.&Asher

I am sorry about the break up it always sucks when a relationship ends and to have to tell you son that it ended makes it even harder like the other girl said just tell him that it wasn't his fault that it just didn't work out for you and he will move on eventually. But i would like to give you one more suggestion to try and prevent it from happening again ihave a friend that has been in and out of relationships her husband left and came back a few times and she has dated and broken up a few times always in the end her 2 boys ended up being attached to the guys and being hurt as well. Her youngest son now (in my opinion) has seperation anxiety whenever someone who has been stable in his life leaves the house he goes into freakout mode and will sometimes cry for hours. As that has been said i would give you the advice of try not to let your son get involved in a relationship of yours until it gets serious. I am by no means saying that you are permiscuous or that you are doing or have done anything wrong. I just found that in my experiance as a single mom as well that keeping a child out of relationships saves them in the long run. I have been with my current boyfriend for almost a year and he didn't have anything to do with my son until we moved in together. I would let the other person know you have a child just not let them get involved with your child until you get a little more serious.

Hi K.!
I haven't been in your situation before but what I would do is probably tell Collin how mommy's friend "Steve" is not mommy's friend any more. Make sure he knows that it was your decision not to be Steve's friend so that he doesn't think he is the reason for the break up. It's tough to be a single mom and bringing people into the home life and your son having to deal with the rollercoaster of relationships. But just continue to love him and give him the attention you are already giving him and everything will be all right. What's important is the relationship the two of you have and keeping that strong!!! Good luck! AMH:)

Hi K., I myself am a single mom with one little boy named Collin who is 5. I have been in and out of relationships since he was a baby. Throughout it all I have always made sure that he knew that the reason for the breakup was not because of him and that I chose to end it. Sometimes he asks about the old boyfriend for awhile but eventually lets it go. He just wants to know what they are up to now and sometimes does a remember when.... Just always make sure your son knows what matters most is that you will be there for him and that he is top priority. Good luck.

As a single parent as well, I can certainly understand this. I rarely let the men I date around my daughter for just that reason. I did however date a guy for about a year before he met my daughter. Ironic enough, we broke up a few months later. I just explained it to her. I told her that throughout life we meet people (male and female) who we become friends with. Sometimes things happen and your not friends anymore. It led to us having a great conversation discussing what makes a true friend and what makes them a friend for a season.

First, I am sorry that you just broke up with your friend. I would tell your son that sometimes friends come and go and just reassure him that you will always be there. Kids are alot of times stronger and more resilient than we are.

Hi K.,
Don't worry, your son will move on from this experience and will not be affected. It's not like he's going back and forth between a bunch of relationships. I am also a single mom and have been divorced for 3 and a half years. I have two beautiful children ages 9 and 6. I've yet to bring any man I've dated into my home so they've never been exposed to any new men. I have guy friends that will never be more than friends so there's no fear of they disapearing out of my children's life. I guess I've decided to focus my attention on raising them and keeping that other side of their mommy more private.

Maybe that's weird and certainly not for everyone.

Take care,
L.