Boys Who like Girl Toys

Okay now, first of all, she NEVER at any point said she was worried about him being gay and I think its horrible that everyone just jumped to that conclusion. There could be any number of reasons she would prefer her son not play with only girl toys. As for 'nipping in the bud' she could just be thinking of how her child will be treated by other little kids if he shows up at kindergarten with a princess in his backpack, so give her a break.

S., I have a 3 year old boy who does love the cars and trains and such but his favorite color is pink :) He also wanted a baby doll when I was pregnant for his sister so I searched everywhere and was able to find a little boy baby doll at Target and got that for him. He was thrilled that I got him a boy one (although he did name is Stella like his sister) and he pretends to feed his stuffed animals bottles and swaddles them in washclothes. If I gave him a bunch of barbies he'd play with them too. He has a great imagination and I think the dolls/barbies are just a way for him to act of what he sees daily in his life. They are 'adults' he can control and they are probably a 'comfort toy' since he was used to playing with them with his cousin. I can understand how you feel though, I wouldn't mind getting maybe one barbie for Luca to play with but I wouldn't want my sweet little man to only want girl toys either :)

Did it ever dawn on you that Barbie dolls are the only dolls that are built more like a mom...? They are not "babies". A boy being attracted to the adult female form... imagine that. Does this mean that he's gay? Probably not.

Find him some boys to play with and don't make him feel guilty or bad for what he likes or doesn't like. He could end up perfectly straight, hate sports and be a great artist or designer. Aren't we women always complaining that men need to get in touch with their feminine side? Trust me... "all boy" isn't all it's cracked-up to be.

I would not worry about it. Let him play with what he wants. He is just used to that because of the girl he played with. It doesn't mean he will "grow up different". Even if he does, it wont' be because of toys he played with!!!! I would love my son no matter what! I know you will too! :)

S.,

Nip WHAT in the bud? He likes what he likes. Let him play.

J.

Our little guy like some girl toys, too. We just try not to make a big deal about it (I know, if you're worried about him, easier said than done). He insisted on bringing my My Little Ponies home from Grandma's a few weeks ago after playing with them there -he had a great time brushing their hair, but the ponies did a lot of racing and jumping on each other, so it was still mostly aggressive little boy stuff. He hasn't gotten them out once since we've been home! Last year he really wanted a doll house for Christmas, but all of them are pink and purple...I think lots of boys like those, anyway, we found a wooden fire house that came with firemen and women, clothes, a firetruck, furniture, etc. and he loved it, we felt like it was more of a "boy" toy than a big pink doll house, so we all got what we wanted. I'm probably not telling you anything helpful, but your's isn't the only little boy that likes girl toys. They're little- my guy likes to try on all my jewelry and heels and makeup. He spends most of his time with me so he just wants to do what I do, so I think your point about him growing up with his cousin may be a bit of it. She's older so he's looking up to her and liking everything she's doing. I'm gonna stop rambling...sorry! They're going to be who they want to be whether we like it or not so we might as well make it easy for them while we can!

I wouldn't refuse it, just find something he will TRY....drum, guitar (remind him both girls and boys play instruments) etc. Find something that is NEUTRAL.

FYI....my nephes, when he was this age - 3 & 4 -now 20, LOVED dressing up in his sister's ballet tutus and pretending he was dancing in the nutcracker!! Don't think my brother-in-law didn't have a FIT about that!!! He DID outgrow it and it was short lived. He ALSO loved playing Barbies and dolls w/ my niece. He also played w/ his cousin, Erin, also a girl.

FIND NEUTRAL territory and work at it from there. Give it a little time. Refusing to let him play w/ the dolls will only make him resent it more.

I remember on one Super Nanny show that one of the little boys, about 3 or 4 kept wanting to play drss-up and put on mom's shoes, hose, gloves, purse, etc. She said LET HIM PLAY. It's play to them. Once dad & everyone else accepted it and EVERYONE got in on the dress-up, everyone was much more comfortable w/ it and he DID find other things to play with once the parents stopped trying to get him to STOP the dress-up. He had been hiding in closets playing dress-up to try and hide from them.

It is important for boys to learn just like girls do, through imaginative play - if you are concerned about girl baby dolls, there are boy dolls, you can even have one created to look like him, the Just Like Me dolls are adorable! Our son has a Step 2 Play kitchen and his older male cousins LOVE to pretend cook with him, they range from 9-15 years old. I would get him a Barbie and a Ken and see if he likes things like the Batman and Robin Imaginext set, that has a Bat Cave (boys version of a dollhouse) But in the meantime DON'T WORRY about it! It's perfectly and completely normal.

I agree with the other mothers. I don't see anything wrong with boys playing with girl toys and I think it would do more harm than good to deny him that or make it seem wrong. I have two boys and they both love to play dolls or barbie with their big sister.
He is who he is and likes what he likes. Most boys with sisters or cousins that are girls like to play with girl toys too. I say let him have fun : )

If he wanted a crayon and started coloring, would you take it from him or discourage him from coloring because artist don't make a good living. Probably not, just because he wants to color doesn't mean he is going to be an artist. And even if it it did mean he was destined to be an artist, could you or would you want to stop him? There are many things to worry about, I don't feel barbies are one of them.

First you need to read the children's book "A Doll for William". It is a lovely book that has been around for over 35 years and touches on this subject. For William, wanting a doll is about mirroring male parenting! My son also grew up with girls and loved the girl toys even as far as wanting his nails painted! Dad agreed to toes only! He is now 16 and a real ladies man. Don't worry!

Just because your son likes to play with girl toys doesn't make him a girl or of "that" persuasion. If only life were that easy! Want your kid to be good with numbers? Give them a calculator! Want him to be a marine biologist? Take him to the Newport Aquarium every day until he's in college!! I'm just joking, but I'm sure you get the idea. I played piano growing up, and my parents said, "You need to do that for a living!!" and put me in piano classes well into college, and even studying Music Education in college. That was SOOOO not what I wanted to do for a living - it was just something I did for fun. Now I don't have a piano, and have resisted getting one.

Not every boy is going to want the "G.I. Joe with the Kung Fu Grip", and it doesn't make them any less "manly".

Try to be flexible with the types of toys you'll "allow" - and quit pushing the boy-toys so much! He see's her playing with Barbie's that have all these houses, and accessories - can you blame him? I know there's a Diego "animal rescue center" - someone got that for our daughter. It has the animal rescue center, a baby jaguar figure, a Diego figure, and I can't remember what else. That might be something to compromise on.

For what it's worth, and good luck!

I think he'll grow out of it. I remember my friend talking about how her boys really liked the sparkly sparkly girl shoes when they were little because let's face it, they are very very fun! She didn't buy them for them because she was afraid of teasing but she was never sure she called it right because her boys were right--those shoes were great! i wouldn't worry about it.

My seven year old girl loves star wars, climbing trees, jeans, bugs science/math and running races AND she loves to cook, "baby" her baby sister, her cool ice skating dress with sequins, reading books including princess fairy tales and dressing up. I think she is incredibly well rounded and my wonderful daughter who can do anything she wants regardless of gender stereotypes. Your little guy is the same but it seems like we are less tolerant of it in boys.

There is nothing to nip! As Jenny said let him play.
They say boys that play with dolls make loving fathers I have 2 grown sons who played with their sisters and their "girl" toys all the time and they are both Strong Healthy Men and the oldest is a very Loving Father

My brother carried a doll around for a long time. He is now 40 and is very masculine.
He is a harley rider so i don't call that girly.
He is very nurturing and is GREAT with Kids of all ages.
Now his toys are Harley's jet ski's boats etc.

You are the parent and ultimately its your decision. However it is perfectly normal for boys to want and like girl toys at his age. More so if his only/favorite playmate is a girl. If a child is close to their mother they model the behavior they see the most. So if a boy is around mom they may like cooking/cleaning to dressing up in high heels and jewelry. Either why at his age its normal.

I'm not sure what you think you need to "nip in the bud". Are you afraid that because he likes to play with "girl toys" that he is gay? Do you think you can change that by not letting him play with them? Or do you think it's somehow perverted and by not letting him play with them he won't see them as even more taboo?
Let him play with what he wants to. You can't change who he is or what he likes and trying to will only cause problems.

I would not make a big deal out of it ( my 2 year old boy loves Dora). Still offer fun boy stuff but no pressure.

I think that throwing a fit in a store over any toy though is a different topic that may need nipped in the bud!!

I personally don't think I would buy him more girl toys but it he has some and he plays with his girl cousin then that is fine!

Perhaps he may benefit it numerous ways by hanging out with other boys, playdates, preschool?

My 10 year old used to like girl toys and anything pink when he was a toddler. He didn't have that stuff at home, but played with it at friend's houses or stores. So, I got him some items that weren't "boy". He's now proudly wearing shirts that say "Tough guys wear pink" He's got two of them!!LOL! :) He is now into being QB of the football team, video games, hunting, fishing, etc. I used to play exclusively with matchbox cars and fire trucks when I was a young girl. I can think of a lot worse things to want to nip in the bud, but in my opinion, girl toys isn't one of them.

S.,
Your son liking toys that are associated with Girls will not make him gay. If he is going to be gay he will be rather he plays with girl toys or not. My cousin was the only boy and he liked girl toys. He is in his 30s now and is all man. You wouldn't know he is the same person who played with dolls so don't worry about it. Taking the toys from him will only make him want them more.

If he isn't in school or daycare yet, and his friends so far have been little girls, it's not that unusual for him to want the same toys that they have. My daughter was the opposite when she was little, always wanting boy toys because all the children she played with were boys. Then she started daycare and for a while she played with the boys until the teacher started pairing her off with the other girls (frankly I was a little bothered that this teacher took it upon herself to MAKE my child be more girly) and then she wanted pink and purple everything and had to have her nails painted.
I would buy him toys that you are comfortable with him playing with at this stage, regardless of which gender they are marketed towards. At 3 and a half he's too young for Barbies and the bigger action figures anyways because they have too many little pieces. A good mix of toys will keep him entertained and once he starts school his peers and gender stereotypes will have him asking for the biggest loudest toy gun on the market.

I might be old fashion but if he wants to play with girl toys I would let him. You might consider having little boys come over and play and let him see how little boys play. I wouldn't worry about it at 3 1/2 as he doesn't really know the difference yet or at least I don't think he would.
I have a grandson who now is 27 but wanted to play with dolls when he was little and his dad threw a fit and would not allow it. Now he is gay but I don't think that had any thing to do with it that he wanted to play with dolls.
His dad told him if he ever found out that he is gay he would disown him. He said when he was 11 he knew he was gay. IF your son in many years to come decides he is gay love it for who he is do not shun him.

Well, I disagree with all the mothers on here....I have a 7 year old daughter and a 5 year old son. She and him play barbies together sometimes and I've always said "Brayden, play with a boy barbie because you're a boy" He has never had any issues with it, never gotten mad, and from the beginning would say "Give me the boy barbie". Read the book "Bringing Up Boys" by James Dobson. It's our job as parents to teach gender appropriate things and to teach what it means to be a boy or a girl. I would never ever buy my son a doll or girl barbie. Now, there are lots of boy stuff out there, so look into them and see what interests him. Worse case scenario, buy him boy barbie stuff. I was pretty disturbed with all the responses out there from moms who don't have a problem letting little boys play with little girl stuff.

I guess the question is how you're going to be able to prevent him from playing with the toys in all situations? If he's at Day Care, there are going to be girl themed toys there.
Our son loves our daughters dolls. He likes to wear some of her clothes, and he likes to play dress-up with the other kids at Day Care.
Perhaps ask him why he likes the Barbies more than the little boy toys?
No one can tell you that your feelings are wrong. We all have our own reasons for why we feel the way we do. I guess a good question to ask yourself, in the grand scheme of things, is why it bothers you and what you want the outcome to be?
Good luck.

Hi S....My suggestion is to expose him to a little boy to play with and have him bring his trucks,etc., so that he can see that those are fun toys too. Don't worry so much....M. B.

If your son plays with a barbie that's okay. I wouldn't want a lot of girl toys for my son either though. Try setting up play dates with boys his age so he can see how boy toys can be fun too. It may be that he likes girl toys because he's had more fun playing with them due to the time with this cousin. Good luck.

S.,
There is nothing wrong with boys playing with "Girls toy's" My nephew had his very own baby doll and played with my youngest sister most of his childhood who was only 2 years older than him.He turned out perfectly fine.A couple years after his sister was born around 7 he started wanting more "Boy toys". But every time my niece wanted to play with his doll he would have a fit over it and take it and hide it from her. Boy's seem to copy what they see, he see's his cousin nurturing her baby dolls and you nurtureing him etc. so he copy's it.He will be fine and out grow it once he discover's that "Boy toy's" are more fun for him.
Growing up my favorite toys were in my fathers tool box, I was always taking things apart to see how they worked and then putting them back together. To me Daddy's tools were a lot more fun than baby dolls.It isn't what you play with, it is what you learn while you are playing with it.
Let your son be who he is and I am sure you will love the outcome.
Debbie

In our house, there is no such thing as 'boy toys' or 'girl toys'. My 7 year old son will go into his sister's room to play Barbies or Polly Pockets with his younger sisters. The girls will play with Legos, Batman toys and cars. It's not a big deal. I know many boys who do the same thing (just won't admit it). He never does it around his friends because he's a boy and that's not cool.

My advice is to not make this an issue. If you make a big deal about it and mention it, then he'll know it's a 'button' he can push to get to you. Don't let him. There are MUCH bigger battles out there to be fought. This will pass on it's own -- as he plays with more and more boys at preschool and then school he'll get the social pressure to stop.

It is in NO WAY an indication of whether or not he'll announce he's gay when he's older. That has NOTHING to do with it. I have plenty of gay friends and few of them played with 'girl toys' when they were little. I preferred 'boy toys' like legos, cars and action figures when I was a kid and I'm a happily married well-adjusted grown women with 3 kids. :-)

They've actually done studies that show that boys who were allowed to play with dolls and kitchens and 'house' when preschoolers grew up to be very loving, caring, strong fathers in good marriages.

S.,

I have 3 little ones at home (5 yr old girl and 2 & 4 yr old boys). They all like to play with Barbie/baby dolls, My Little Ponies, dress up (with all the pretty dresses, shoes & jewlery), truck & cars, tools, trains, and the kitchen toys. We let them play with what they want, the toys they play with teaches them to think and lets them have fun. If all he has seen how to pay with is the toys his cousin has, maybe he doesn't know how to play with the others. Personnaly I don't see any problem with kids paying with "boy" or "girl" toys.

In our house my hubby and I both take care of the kids, change diapers, cook & clean, lawn chores (although I mainly clean up & garden and he mowes) and home repair (although he does most of it, but I like painting & decorating). Plus, I worked in a factory (10 ladies to 250 men)... so I see life as equal in all ways. I believe that people are who they are & can do what they want regardless of sex... that is why I let my kids choose what they want to play with. They are only kids and times are changing... my hubby made a great stay at home dad for over 5 years till I lost my job, now we have switched roles and I'm the stay at home parent (which I know is more "excepted", but I don't think it will be for long).

If your concerned - try playing with the "boy" toys with him... make it a game & fun - a way to spend time with mommy & show him a new way of playing. But if he still doesn't like them, maybe in time he will start to see they are fun to if you don't push to hard.

Best of luck!

Hi S.,

I taught early childhood education and can tell you that most 3 yr. old little boys like the dresses that twirl and the high heels that make them taller, just like girls do.

Think of it as investing in him the kind of man that you want him to be. You want him to be well rounded, right, a good daddy, empathetic, imaginative, a problem solver. Toys that we traditionally give to girls helps with this.

A doll teaches a child to be gentle, loving, nurturing, and empathetic. It is there first chance to see outside of themselves and care for another.

A kitchen teaches a child the fundamentals of cooking and an opportunity to introduce new foods in a playful way.

A play house or doll house allows you to introduce the idea of family dynamics and how families work together and the rolls of each member. You can get the Barbie house and fill it with G.I. Joes and do the same thing.

Playing school allows you to foster an interest in learning and to introduce or review things like colors, shapes, numbers and letters in a way that he will be receptive to.

It isn't really the toy that makes the difference, but the way the play is directed. If you get a few of these things to satisfy him and sprinkle them in with the traditional "boy" toys you will actually be doing him a huge favor.

L.