The Real Deal on Barbie and Barbie-like Dolls

I played with Barbies as a child, and do not have any eating disorders. I have saved my dolls for my children to play with. Okay, so Barbie is a little disproportionate, but... little girls that play with them do not know this unless adults tell them so. I had some very lonely childhood moments as an only child to a divorced mother. However, I remember finding great solace and joy in playing with my Barbies. Go for it, keep the lady around.

First off - all women have body issues, whether they have eating disorders or not. It has been my experience with people (as men are on the rise as well) that the disorders mostly stem for a need to control their life (or rather, feeling out of control in some other part of it). Not that you're really trying to, but I don't think you can blame Barbie. I haven't really wanted my daughter to play with them either because they seem too grown up, but she really wanted Cinderella...and so it goes.

Self-Love is where it all starts.

My parents wouldn't let me play with these so I wanted them more than ANYTHING!!! and I just would play with them at friends houses...it drove my friends crazy b/c they would be bored with them and want to do other things. I think that sometimes forbidding something makes it all the more desirable (though I too would never buy a SLUTTY BRATZ doll for my kids) I think you let a few barbies in the house and they won't maintain interest for too long

As a young child when my sister and I played with "Barbie's" we used our imagination in conversations and clothing picks and hair and make-up and then after that we would take the legs off and used them as drum sticks. We never had any eating disorters in result of playing with the dolls. My low self esteem was caused from the peers at school not from playing with barbies. Barbies don't talk to you and tell you that you are too fat and that outfit doesn't aggree with your make-up......I think that kids and the society that we live in blame "Barbie" for being so perfect and it is "Barbie" that causes us to think that we need to be perfect. What about the models in magazines, tv commercials, the ads on tv about weight loss, Special K cereal.....If you are going to start with Barbie, well you probably shouldn't let your children watch most tv shows because of the commercials of being "perfect" are on. I honestly believe that it's more or less the peer pressure as you get older in school is where you get all of the problems of eating disorders and such. So, in all reality, I would be ok with barbies in my house if I had a girl.
Now that I have said my piece....As for your situtation...If you are really concerned...I would listen to what your girls are really talking about and go from there. If they say things that worry you....then maybe the dolls need to go.

I loved my Barbies as a girl. I can remember spending hours playing with them by myself, with my sister, and my best friend. Our Barbies went on all sorts of adventures. As an adult, I always questioned people who thought Barbies influenced eating disorders, because they brought me nothing but joy. Your daughters know that Barbies are just a doll. If you make a big deal about your concerns in front of, around, or to your daughters, then they'll start to look at the Barbies differently. I truly believe that a mother is the biggest influence her daughter has. Keep telling them that they are smart, funny, and beautiful, and they'll believe it.

Barbie is just a doll! Plastic. A toy. You are giving this toy way too much power! Your daughters aren't looking at Barbie and seeing her big breasts and teeny waist. They see a doll, something they can dress up in pretty clothes and play pretend. If you ban this toy from your house, or give too much attention to trying to explain how unrealistic her body type is etc. you are just giving this toy more power. I had Barbies, Dawn dolls and Skipper. I also had GI Joe and Million Dollar Man dolls. My barbies had a gymnastics set - balance beam and bars. They were olympic athletes that wore sparkly dresses. I also dressed up as a fairy princess while skateboarding and playing with my dump trucks outside. It's all about balance. Bottom line - the more focus you put on why you don't like Barbie the more your children become focussed on those very things. As long as you are setting a good example about eating healthy, exercise, outdoor play etc. whether they play with Barbies or not won't make a difference.

I am strongly opposed to Barbie and Bratz. Just walking through the Barbie section in a toy store upsets me. The dolls nowadays are dressed like prostitutes, they have come a long and dubious way from the doctor and pilot Barbie of my days, which by the way I was never allowed to have, because we could not afford them.
There are many dress up and pretend dolls out there that may be better alternatives. Doll houses and doll house families, Playmobil (has a girl’s line with a castle and princesses), Breyer or Schleich figures come to mind. I think even Fisher Price makes some Barbie like dolls, that look like normal families.

If you cannot avoid Barbie, then I would insist on properly dressed dolls, like their princess line, mermaids or a professional Barbie (doctor, lawyer, family or whatever...) – they still exist, are just hard to find.
I am not religious or anything, but I just really don’t think that it’s ok for little girls to grow up with dolls that are dressed and made up like prostitutes. I am not too keen on Barbie’s physique either, but my main point is really the make up and clothes. In the 3-10 years of age range they really don’t need to be exposed to that, when they are teenagers it’s impossible to avoid (looking at music and movies), but hopefully by then they have acquired a healthy image and knowledge of their own bodies.
Just my two cents.

I think Barbie is healthy play unless you emphasize her size! I believe that eating disorders come more from areas of unacceptance that a child sees around her. If a parent is always commenting on their own shape/weight or that of others. If a boyfriend or important classmate is particularly cruel and judgmental. Of course, there is also the unknown factor of what is inside a child's mind. As with many things, forbidden fruit is the most exotic and enticing...I'd monitor how your girls play with Barbie, my older daughter enjoyed Barbie and played with them through middle school, not that her friends knew of course, but she was always designing clothes and hair styles, one creative outlet.

Barbie is a doll, in my opinion. Though Barbie can be a fashionista, Barbie can also be a Mom, a teacher, a nurse, a Pet Doctor and yes, a Princess. My very gifted 9 yo has been playing with Barbie since she was 4, with no "ill effects" so far. She plays very imaginative games with Barbie, and has a population of them that all have different personalities. I have never objectified Barbie, therefore, my daughter can see that she's just a doll to play with. We've said things like "Most people don't look like Barbie" and things like that, but for the most part, we just don't comment on it. I was raised playing with my Barbies, and I managed to turn out okay. I've never had an eating disorder, I maintain a healthy weight, and I don't have body dysmorphic dysfunction. As with many children's experiences, it's more what the parents bring to the table than what the kids glean from it. (meaning they come from an innocent viewpoint) I am however with you on the Bratz, they've never made it into our house. My daughter is "embarrassed" by some of the clothes they wear.
Reading back over your post, keep in mind that MOST eating disorders come from kids wanting to get control of something in their lives, and grasping for a hold on something they can control. I'm not sure we can throw that weight off on Ol' Barbie Millicent Roberts. Good Luck. If YOU can't deal with Barbie coming to your house, don't invite her in. Your kids will pick up more on what you're dealing with then looking at her and deciding she's the perfect ideal.

I played with Barbies from the age of 3 until about 12 years old. I loved my Barbies. I had tons of clothes, furniture, the cars (a Jeep, an RV, a '57 Chevy AND a Corvette! My dolls lived high on the hog!) even the dream house. I spent the majority of my time playing make-believe with them. Styling their hair and changing their outfits was the best part and having friends over to play with me are some of the best memories I have from my childhood. I never wanted to look like Barbie, even as a young child I knew she didn't look like people are supposed to look. In fact, with out clothes I thought she looked kind of gross. I was always aware that it was make believe. I was able to distinguished between fact and fantasy.

As a teenager (around 13-14 years old) I did start having problems with body image, eating disorders and self-esteem, but it wasn't because I didn't look like Barbie. By then Barbie was a forgotten thing of the past, retired to her storage cases. Eventually given to my younger cousins. My problems stemmed from my mother (who was a former fashion model and had no problem pointing out if I'd gained a few pounds. She always knew what diet to put me on) and from wanting to keep my spot as a "flier" on the cheerleading squad. My mother's effect on me was far more influential (to this day) than any disproportionate doll could ever be.

I have two girls (ages 9 and 3) and they have Barbies. They aren't as interested in them as I was, but they'll play with them every now and then. Both of them know how beautiful they are and that Barbie is just pretend. I don't see anything harmful about them. As long as you instill in your children positive self-image right from the start, healthy eating habits, regular exercise and other good lifestyle choices, they'll be fine. Sometimes I still sit down for a tea party with my girls, just for old time's sake :)

I guess to make my long walk down memory lane short, it's what you instill in your girls that will help them navigate through the pressures of life as a woman. If you give them the tools of self-confidence, nothing will be able to hurt them like it did your sisters (and me and millions of other girls). Good luck to you!

I was raised without being allowed to play with Barbies for the same concerns you voice. I think I'm a well adjusted individual, but I have to say that I felt ripped off. All my friends had Barbies, so I always wanted to spend hours at their houses playing with them. I didn't view them as sexual objects or wanted to identify with them. They were forbidden in my house, so not having them was very difficult knowing I was missing out on something I thought was harmless and didn't know why my parents wouldn't allow. (I wasn't allowed Skipper either, but I did have dolls.) Just like a lot of the posters stated, it's a doll who has really pretty clothes, a career, a dog, a car, etc. This is the epitome of a chance at using imagination. Little girls don't see the large breasts and long legs. They're already subjected to all sorts of negative images every single day on tv or just walking down the street. I think if you raise your children in a way that they know how special they are no matter what they look like, they will grow up to be happy and self assured.

I played with Barbie growing up and have to honestly say that I never ever once not ever compared myself to Barbie or any doll. I truly don't believe that dolls girls play with are responsible for their body image. Television, films, fashion magazines and music videos contribute I'm sure but not if a parent creates a dialog with their kids about what they are seeing. Also if you have had an issue with your own body image then chances are your girls could pick up on that it's an issue with you...even if you don't say anything outright to them. Children pick up on little things and most especially on our energy. If we aren't happy with ourselves it doesn't matter how many fake smiles or words we express...they know what we are feeling.

In my personal opinion let them have Barbies and use it as an opportunity to open a dialog with them about body image, being healthy versus being thin and even the struggles you've had. You could also include in your dialog how dolls, video games, films, music and even books are only for amusement and are not to be taken to heart or emulated in any way. You might also use it as an opportunity to extoll the virtues of being 'different' and an individual following ones own path in life. This could be a bonding experience that could help you and your children grow closer and create an environment of openness and honesty, that will come in handy in their teen years, if you adopt a healthy perspective about it. If you help your daughters have a healthy perspective about Barbie dolls they won't have any issues identifing with a doll.

In reading the other responses I only want to say that the human imagination is responsible for ALL of the technologies, advancements in medicine, creations, inventions that humanity has created over the course of our human history. Playing with dolls, Barbie or not, is simply a way to exercise our childrens imagination. As a child who's mother was completely against my 'imagining' anything at all because it wasn't 'real' I can tell you that the time I spent playing with Barbie and then in later years watching Star Trek and reading Science Fiction novels was the most precious part of my entire childhood.

In closing I just want to say that nothing is anything until we decide what it is...in otherwords Barbie will be to your girls exactly what you make of it. Perspective is everything.

Good Luck,
C.

I had the same struggle. I finally decided that all I was doing was intesifying my daughter's desire for a Barbie doll. So, she got some. I spoke to her a number of times over the years about how atypical and actually impossible Barbie's body size is. I read something where someone had figured out what Barbie's measurements would be if she were life-size. I am sure you could look them up online. Anyway, hearing that a woman who looked like that would be over 7 feet tall seemed to help my daughter understand that Barbie is more like a cartoon character than an attainable goal. By the way, we also address this with cartoon characters and such. I point out things like the fact that their waist is the same size as their neck and their breasts are each the size of their head. We all laugh when I point out that in real life, "She would snap like a twig!" Sorry this is so long, but my main point is that I think this is more about communication than it is about negative images which are impossible to avoid. Blessings to you and yours! :)

Hello K.!

I'm a mother of one (she's now 27) and have two grand-daughters ages 2 (almost 3) and the other is 9 months. So I don't have a great deal of experience, but with age comes some wisdom.

I don't think bringing these dolls into the house will make any more difference regarding body image / self esteem then any t.v. or commercials out there. Or taking them into a public store, where manicans are displayed. Or even owning a "Wii fit" game. As the "Mii's" actually show your height and weight on these dolls. (body image can be funny to say the least!)

In todays world, body image is stressed more now then before because of the obesity rates being what they are. We (americans) have gotten lazy. And with the school systems not having the same physical fitness classes they use to, and video games on the rise, our children and sitting more, and being less active. That's the reason for the pulblicity on body image. The dolls are the same as they have been in the past 50 years. So I wouldn't put any "weight" into the dolls being the issue with body image / self esteem.

I for one, didn't have dolls as a girl, for whatever reason, and to this day, I wish I had had a way to use my imagaination on hair styles, clothing, and interaction with what other "girly-girls" syles etc, instead waiting until I was 50 to start "experimenting" with clothing styles, hair styles makeup etc.

I too was very conscious of "stero-typing" my daughter as I was raising her, and refused to buy her a kitchen set, for fear that I would be instilling domestic traits in lieu of careers and individuality . . but guess what?! She still loves the kitchen! She figured out how to cook / entertain, and is very successful in her education / career as well! hmmmm! imagine that!

Give your children the opportunity to choose. To enoy, to use their imaginations in what "comes natural". Try not to inflict your insecurities and self esteem issues on them, but show them that healthy eating is for health! Not vanity. And to love the bodies that they were given. To treat them well . . . because they'll actually FEEL better.

You sound like a wonderful mom. And a great person. Keep up the good work.

God bless you and yours!

Nana Debbie

You have some interesting viewpoints in the the previous two posters, but I have to respectfully disagree with some of their points.

I think you may have answsered at least part of your question already. While I agree that Barbie alone didn't cause your sisters eating disorders, I don't think Barbie helped any. I find it interesting that your sisters, who played with Barbie, wound up in the hospital, while you didn't, and you play with Mandi more. I'm not trying to judge or anything, and there are many other factors that added to your sisters issues. just something to think about.

Children, girls especially, are bombarded with so many negative images these days around body image, and what constitutes the perfect body, that I personally wouldn't want to expose them to one more example of "perfection". Instead, I'd want to limit their exposures to these messages. It's really important to evaluate all the messages children come in contact with, and to be proactive to countering negative images.

I too struggle with body image, and I had several Barbies when I was little. As in your situation, I don't think Barbie alone was at fault, but Barbie sure didn't help matters any. At this point, I would be happy to never see another Barbie again.

That being said, if you monitor your children's play with Barbie, and correct any misconceptions you may hear, you will probably be fine. I think you are already taking a step in the right direction by being aware of the issues within your family, and you are aware enough of your issues that you are seeking support and asking questions. As long as you are aware of the issues, you should be fine.

I hope this helps.

I played with Barbies growing up, and I am on the heavy side. My girls play with them too. They started at a very young age. When they got old enough I told them that in real life women don't look that way, we all are shaped different. I went as far to tell them if Barbie was real that she would be very unhealthy for how skiny she is and she would have all kinds of problems with the large chest. I guess it helps that I am built nothing like barbie!
Also as we were growing up "skiny" was everywhere in our generation.

In my experience, playing with barbies has not affected me in a negative way. I used to play with barbies as a kid all the time! I too also had my Mandi doll......I was surprised to see someone else with a mandi doll...do you still have it? I do!!! I am 37 also!

I think that attitudes in the home and on TV have much more effect than two dolls. Who do they wish they could be like? Hannah Montana, iCarley? I was watching (on the TVGuide Channell) actresses on the red carpet. I wish I could look like that in a evening gown! But, I don't like to work out more than an hour every day, and I enjoy eating 3 meals a day.
If you are dieting and excercising all the time, that will give them the idea that they need to be perfect.
I played with Barbie, I think my shorter, more Rubenesque figure is fine. I am however eating healthier, and excercising because I have some health issues. Not because I want to be 6' tall and 110lbs.

I don't know if it is so much the doll as how you and they play and talk with the doll. As long as you tell them they are beautiful how they are, they won't even think to want to look like a doll.

Teach them healthy eating habits, and don't encourage them to look a specific way or like a specific person and they will be fine.

We all have our own issues, and it is hard to get over them for our childrens' sakes. Just love them and tell them you love them as much as possible and they will be fine.

I make it a habit to observe things and follow research. Dolls are a very healthy "toy" for children in that it allows role play. I grew up with the "old" Barbie, which by the way was created as a 3-D version of a paper doll, and I thoroghly enjoyed playing. I never had an eating disorder. From what I've observed over the years, it is more likely due to parents, media stimulus and other "values" brought into the home. Barbie has changed her figure to a more "normal" adaption... although I personally feel some of them look a bit trampy for my tastes (makeup and clothes). As with any toy or activity, a good parent will watch for unhealthy behaviors and work on changing those traits before they become out of control. Have fun!!

Hi K.,
I haven't read others responses, but here's my take:

My mom hated barbies. She wouldn't let us have them. We never really thought about it growing up, we didn't have many toy-type playthings, we made up games and played outside and read a lot. Still the kind of thing I lean towards. My sister who still hates Barbies and won't let her daughters have them has always had a strong vanity for being uber thin, is disgusted by people who are as little as 10 pounds overweight, and is consumed with being thought of as more beautiful than others. But she's also highly intellectual and an artist and has other things that are good about her. Me, I'm not really concerned, I like to look neat and respectful and stay at a healthy weight. My other sister about the same. I played with my cousins barbie like dolls, but we just made up scenarios about what they were doing. Those cousins have always been consumed by appearances, tried very hard to have modeling careers (and now have a daughter they are pushing into modeling), and though I love them, are a little superficial.

I do think it's easy to get caught up in something that you're fascinated with as a child, and then try to model yourself after that. It just happens. And if a girl has a weakness for that, well than the Barbie fascination will further that. I have a son. If i have a daughter, I will for the most part have her play with his toys, which are building type toys, along with the cars and trains. I wish I would have had those growing up, not Barbies. They do much more to build creativity. I think there's nothing wrong with pretending with dolls, but I have to say I do think kids should be admiring and adoring something not quite so .... I don't know what to call it.

Hope you've gotten some good answers to help you.
-Colleen

My sister & I grew up playing with Barbies. I don't remember ever consciously thinking about their effects on how I saw myself. I don't think I even knew what body image was until I had grown out of playing with them by 11 or so. In my opinion, body image is way more influenced by "real" life experiences, like seeing other womens'/girls' attitudes about beauty (fashion, weight, etc) and friends (enemies?) teasing/talking about each other. It comes out of a whole culture, not just a toy. I agree about the Bratz thing, though. Poor body image comes from the deeper issue of a general self-hatred in all areas of our identities. So, its basically necessary to be wary on all fronts with our girls. To be honest, I almost died from "self-hatred" (depression, suicidal tendencies) I'm only here because I was finally able to really know the love of God, my maker, through Jesus Christ.
Girls are great!
Love, R.

Such wonderful responses!! A great topic.

I don't have much else to add to the Barbie discussion, but I did want to say GOOD FOR YOU for banning the Bratz! They are just awful; rude, trashy, sleazy, slutty, all those words come to mind when I think of them!

It sounds like your girls have been enjoying letting their Barbies "explore" things that are favorites of their own. I think the best purpose dolls of any kind have for kids is letting the kid set the scene and create the world that they think fits their current "situations". You are definitely encouraging that with your girls! Great job!

I am not a mother, however I am a teenager which may be of more assistance in answering your question. I am living in the most self-image pressuring time of my life. While I am struggling with this, it is from the negative things my MOTHER says. While she believes I should look like a Barbie, I know I don't and I accept that because I am healthy. I grew up constantly playing with Barbie dolls, I had far too many of them for my own good but I played with them from the time I was 4 up until I was 10. I played with Bratz dolls as well. Coming from a girl with experience, playing with those dolls had no effect on my self-image. It is also important to understand that Barbie, who was previously impossibly unproportionate admittedly by Mattel, has been altered and does have a more realistic body type. I think you should buy your girls Barbie dolls, as long as you don't make them think they SHOULD look like a Barbie I bet your girls will be fine. They live in a very well-informed society.

When I'm not busy being a mom, I'm a Sociologist who teaches an Introduction to a Women's and Gender Studies class. This course and my area of study as a Sociologist (gender studies) has given me the opportunity to talk and work with lots of young women--some with eating disorders, most with body image issues and my advice would be to recognize what a complicated world we live in, clearly playing with a Barbie won't cause an eating disorder, but I do think it is part of the overall climate that young girls and women live in that privileges how we look over what we do. As a parent (of a boy, go figure!) I work hard on mitigating the parts of our culture that I see as destructive to men and boys--so for me that means no violent toys in my home--I obviously can't control what he finds outside my home, but I can give him the tools to be a critical consumer of those things--I try to remind myself, that I'm not just raising a toddler or a kindergartner or a teenager, I'm raising a man and it involves lots of give and take, it means picking your battle, but for me this battle is important enough to pick. If I had/have a daughter there won't be Barbies in my home--again, not because I would argue they cause body image issues, but because they certainly aren't going to help a girl feel good about herself in the long run. I also know that the girls in my classes who didn’t have Barbies growing up almost without fail end up mentioning it with a sense of pride. Good luck with your decision!

I agree with your thoughts on the BRATZ dolls. I remember my first Barbie when I was 5, in the late 1950's when they first came out. I wasn't interested in playing with baby dolls. My Barbie was a career girl and they would go off to work. My mom was a stay at home mom. I went to college and had a career. I didn't get married until I was 40 and didn't have my daughter until I was 47. I am happy to be a stay at home mom of an 8 year old and helpmate to my husband, something that I would not have been happy with at age 25 or 35. I think that the kind of play I did with Barbie (or it could have been with a paper doll)and reading Nancy Drew books, influenced me and developed a part of my brain that made it easier for me to think about college and working and go with my natural inclinations. Mamy friends married early, now with grandchildren and like the freedom now. I like being a family now. My daughter has a dozen Barbies given as gifts, and would rather play with stuff animals. She wants to be a Veternarian. She loves make-up, nail polish and glitz. I wear no make up, bite my nails and like plain comfortable clothes. Go figure. :)

Hi K.,
My thoughts on this are that body image is all around us. My 5 year old daughter likes barbies, and she does not make an remarks on how skinny she is, or how she wants to look like Barbie. She just plays "house"
My mother is an overweight woman, and I am a thin woman. (thanks to a good diet and exercise. Something Americans really need to do more of) But I remember growing up with my mom saying "When I was your age, I had a body just like you, and if you don't watch it, you will be just like me"
Tell you what. What you do and say to your kids has more of an impact on them than any figure of a doll. If you want to be a positive influence with your kids, (I know you had made the comment on your own personal problems with image) is to work on your own self image.You cannot really help your kids if you can't help yourself. I would recommend going to the library, and reading a book on self image, or something along those lines.
I don't think that the problems your sisters have, stem from a Barbie. I think they learned that from someone for influencial in the home, friends etc, just like you may have.
I don't want my daughter to play with brat dolls, simply for what they stand for. I mean come on, the name speaks for itself, and they look like hookers.
But if you watch Barbie movies, or princess movies. Most of the characters are very sweet, loving, nice, caring and "model citizens".
Those are my thoughts. I hope I did not come off too strong: )

I was very opposed to Barbie for the first 4 1/2 years of my daughters life then my sister-in-law got her one for Christmas. My daughter had always played with groovy girls and really liked then until Barbie came on the scene. That was a few years ago, now my daughter s pretty over groovy girls and is getting over Barbie, she is 7 1/2. She is totally fine and has no body issues that we can tell so far. She is a totally happy to be herself kid who still loves camping, collecting bugs and other stuff that her parents love. Anyway I guess I am trying to say that I also felt Barbie might be a bad idea in our home and once she got into our home everything was fine.
So don't stress too much

When I played Barbie, I never even thought about their weight or figure. I just liked dressing my Barbies up to go out with Ken. They may not even be thinking like that. Did YOU think about those things when you were playing Barbies as a kid?did your sisters, or was their eating disorders later? I think either you have an eating disorder or you don't and whether you play Barbies or not makes no difference in the outcome. I had a daughter with an eating disorder who never played Barbies. I have never heard my 11 yo. say anything about weight when her Barbies talk to each other. That would be more of a problem...if I heard her overly concerned about weight in her play.

Glad to hear someonelse has put the foot down on Bratz. Not totally sure why, but I don't like them, maybe the image..
I let my daughter(9) play with barbies, many of the dolls/clothes were saved from my childhood.

Growing up I realized that there shape/size are pretend. Not one single woman in my family/parents friends looked like them so I figured it was pretend. my mom never made mention of their "body type". they were a toy to stimulate my imagination only.

Just emphasize that they are pretend and nothing about them is real.

I played with Barbies as a child, my sisters played with them, all the girls I grew up with played with them. Yes, Barbie is super skinny with bigger than average breasts and quite frankly unrealistic. If you are raising your daughters with a healthy self body image, then I don't see any problem with letting them play with the doll. Look at the good things she does, there are so many different kinds of them out there from Doctor Barbie to Veterinarian Barbie. She does teach little girls that they can be anything they want to be when they grow up.

I only played with Barbies occasionally as a child, they weren't my favorite toy. With my own daughter, I avoided the Barbie issue as long as possible. Then she was given two Barbies at her five year old birthday party. She loved them, and her grandmother got her the Barbie Talking Townhouse and Barbie Van for Christmas when she was in kindergarten. She had a great time playing with them and naturally outgrew them by about 3rd grade. My youngest daughter is now in kindergarten and plays with them occasionally. There is absolutely no harm in playing with Barbies!

I had Barbies growing up and I loved them! We (my sister and I and our friends) played with them all the time. WE had a blast! Our Barbies had many adventures, whether is be shopping or having a sleepover or camping or going to a fancy ball. I never even considered the way Barbie's body looked compared to mine. That is something we, as adults, do...not little kids. My girls are 5 and 3, and they both have Barbies. My 3 y/o only has one or two and mostly because she wanted to be like her sister. But, my 5 y/o loves playing with them. We have soccer Barbie and Pet doctor Barbie and all kinds of things that I think would contribute to a good self-image, not a bad one. We have Barbie kitchens and furniture and pools, and a few of the Disney Princess Barbies too. But, I agree with you on the no Bratz policy. We don't allow those, either. My 5y/o doesn't play with Barbies every day, but she has fun when she does and I don't think it will be detrimental to her health or self esteem as she grows older. That will come more from me and my husband. So will the healthy eating habits, etc.

So, let them play with the Barbies...and be a good role model for your children. That matters more than the toys they do or don't play with!

=) S.

I played with Barbies when I was younger, and never had any kinds of problems from it. I think that the atmosphere of the home and how you emphasize acceptance of your body really sends the best message. Good luck!

J.

Barbie isn't the cause of eating disorders. Attitudes towards food in the home, tv, magazines and catalogs, acceptance of life as it is, that no matter what size or shape you are... you are you and that's wonderful. Being healthy is #1, always. Peer pressure in school must be counterbalanced at home. Barbie has changed thru the years. Her waist has gotten thicker, her bust line is more realistic. Not a problem. I think little girls see the dolls for what they are, just dolls. Not someone who's shape they wish to emulate. They're more expensive, but there are less expensive versions in Target, and they're American Girl dolls. You can even design one that looks like your girls. These are dolls that beg to be played with. Have story books about their lives. Realistic. Buy 4 Barbies and it's equivalent to one of these awesome dolls. My daughter received 2 during her childhood. They are boxed up and saved for her 'future' family. No garage selling of these. They are an investment, something to be passed down and shared. Enjoy!!

My oldest daughter is 23, and my youngest is 12. So I have had a few years, and a few points of view between the two.
I would never allow a bratz in my home with my oldest, I now buy bratz with my youngest.
My oldest and I neither one have any eating disorders. I think as long as you let your daughters know that the barbie is not the "normal" body shape.
I think some of your sisters issues might also be the fact that the media really pushed the "barbie" figure.. We have to be skinny at all cost.

I think it is ok for girls (and boys) to play with barbie and any other dolls they want to play with.

I always hated Barbie when I was growing up. I thought they were stupid. I had baby dolls I played with. I now have many children I care for. Play is practice for life.

What do you want for your daughters when they grow up?

Think about that.

Do not forbid the playing with Barbies but make other things much more interesting. Bake cookies, take a walk, play at the park or go for a bike ride. Build with legos, play math games or play board games. Get clay to model, do messy art projects, plant flowers.

There is so much more to life than Barbie dolls or video games.

If you give them enough interesting things to do the barbies will be less of an issue.

Dear K.,

I am 42 years old and played with Barbies a lot as a child. My first experiences with designing clothing and sewing were for my dolls. I later went on to get a BFA in Fashion Design. My Barbie was independent and career oriented. She owned her own company and loved her life. I went on to do these things myself as an adult. Yes, Barbie is unrealistically shaped and dresses like a bimbo. You can help your daughters choose differently by giving them fabric to play with, showing them how to make clothes for their dolls, talking about the different choices that women have in their lives.

My personal feeling is that eating disorders stem from other causes than playing with a shapely doll. Loving yourself and showing your daughters what good self-esteem is all about should over rule any negative feed back from playing with an unrealistic looking woman doll. Barbie is a part of our culture. I think that it would be hard to deny a daughter the ability to play with her. You don't have to buy into the Barbie Mall, Mansion, Sports Car, etc. Let them use their imaginations to build a world for their dolls.

By the way, in my house, Ken was just Barbie's "plaything." He never ruled her life. ;) One doesn't have to buy into the stereotypes in order to have fun with a Barbie! Relax and try to send positive messages about women in general and your girls will do just fine!

Good luck!

B. W

This is a tough one. I haven't decided where I will draw the line either, but my girls are younger. One thing to think about though is sometimes making things off limits only makes them more appealing. If they play with them at a friend's house behind your back then you won't be able to monitor their play and talk to them if issues arise. Just a thought.
Also, you being aware and proactive about the issue is huge in protecting them. Good for you!

As an adult, I loathe Barbies. As a child I loved them. I had probably 20 and the dream house and the pink corvette. Its all I played with for a long time. I have great memories of playing barbie with my sister and fighting over them too. I have no esteem or body issues. I don't think it comes from slutty barbies.

I think where people run into problems with barbies is when they have many barbies that all look alike - it can get a little "stepford wives-ish" where perfection is the norm. Mix it up a bit. I grew up with a few barbies, but I also had an assortment of baby dolls, some generic barbie-type dolls of different sizes, stuffed animals, and even a troll. They all had their own clothes and accessories, some of which could be shared and some not, so in my mind, they had individual personalities and relationships with barbie. They all played together and had their own advantages and disadvantages to overcome (barbie was too tall for the doll house, so she only visited on the patio or went on outings.)I grew up accepting the fact that everyone is different, and that they all have their own place in the world.

When I was a child I hated Barbie dolls because they looked more like the girls that teased me in school than they looked like me. I had a Skipper doll I played with some, but she didn't have the gaunt pinched-face that Barbie did. I still don't care for Barbies. I also disliked the cabbage patch dolls; I found them to be ugly too. My daughter also didn't care much for Barbies. If a child wants to play with a particular type of doll, I don't think there should be a huge problem as long as they don't take their identity from that doll. Recognizing differences in people and accepting everyone however they look is more important. Perhaps if you talked with your girls and made it clear that no woman ever looked like Barbie - legs too long, waist too small, etc. that they can enjoy their play without damaging their self perception. Good luck.

I think 4 is definitely too young for a Barbie, but if you do it for one, you will have to do it for two.

I hated Barbie (for the sexist image thing) and never got one for my daughter. She got one for her birthday one year and played with it some.

I don't know if Barbie has a lot to do with eating disorders, but I would think that a good example of healthy eating, and good exercise that makes your girls hungry, is the best thing you can do.

I don't know that Barbies had an impact on my sister or I, but she has battled with eating issues and was super skinny until college. I'm at the other end of the spectrum and have been a little heavy since elementary. Our family dynamics, eating habits, exercise and the example our parents set was probably much more the influence than our dolls. I do have a small daughter and I don't plan on getting her Barbies even though we have already set a better example than my parents did. I think as long as you balance the Barbie image with good examples at home and teach your children not to judge those who aren't "Barbie" shaped then you'll be fine and so will your girls! I think you can also make some choices about what wardrobe the dolls wear if you get any extra.

I couldn't agree with you more on the Bratz dolls. I would never allow them in my home either. My sister and I were about the same ages as your daughters when we received our first Barbie. I honestly just loved to dress them up in different clothes all day long, which might be in link to loving to shop for clothing and designing dresses.My sister hilariously re-in-acted the previous days events. I never dealt with body issues or eating disorders because of Barbie and neither did my sister. If anything, it was that awkward age when you hit puberty, and start to feel a little self-conscience until you're comfortable in the skin you're in. And that doesn't come til about your 20's. I would be more concerned about what your children are watching on tv, because the media has a much higher influence over body image than Barbie. I think Barbie is great for a child's imagination, and you're doing a great job in promoting a healthy imagination for you're daughters.

here is a link to one of the best insights I have read about this issue- I am in total agreement -

http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/general-view/archive...

My 16 yo daughter recently read me an article by a secular author whose ideas and opinions reiterated many of the same things in this article- I don't know where to find that article.

Another issue I had came about shortly after I found out a loved one had a problem with pornography. I was at a friends house and the little girls were playing with their Barbies, undressing them and dropping them on the floor. I passed the room and a naked Barbie was on the floor and the 'pose' was rather suggestive- it was not posed that way, just innocently dropped on the floor but my thought was 'is it appropriate for a little boy to see that, what would a man struggling with pornography think when he saw that, what picture is this giving to little girls who are growing up and trying so desperately to fit a mold in order to be accepted and loved by men?'

Everyone says that these dolls are just play and mean nothing but all play is work to young ones- there brains are forming, ideas are growing and learning is happening with everything that they do, see and touch - ALL of their experiences- including seemingly innocent and harmless play, have a role in who they ecome- their self esteem, self worth, views of right and wrong and how they see themselves and the world.

My 3-year-old daughter recently got a hand-me-down Barbie, and I figure it won't hurt if she's one among many toys. I know as she gets older we'll talk about how Barbie couldn't be a "real" person. She also got two Groovy Girls for Christmas, and she likes those even better. The dolls have soft bodies, stitched faces, yarn hair and are decked out in funky clothing with Velcro closures. They are ethnically diverse, and fun to play with (and machine-washable). I don't have anything against Barbie, I just want my daughter to have some more choices on what to play with.