V.C.
S., Congrats!
I do have a suggestion as I was in your shoes 8 yrs ago....
My DH, went to my son and told him that he loved me but in the same breath he told my DS that he loved him too.
He then went to my DS and asked him if could marry me... he actually went to my Mom as my Dad was deceased.
Have the children be a part of the wedding and festivities as much as possible.
Also, you might want to get something for each of the children to represent they are also included in the marriage..
CHECK OUT:
http://www.familymedallion.com/
This is a medallion (there are several things to chose from)
http://www.familymedallion.com/order.htm
It is a symbol for FAMILY UNITY :)
Here is what someone wrote:
When we learned that our son was marrying a young woman with two children, we wanted to also welcome the children into our family. By presenting them with the Family Medallion we were able to accomplish this in a significant and meaningful way.
If this isn't want you want to do something else can be substituted but this way it shows family unity. :)
Congrats again!