Okay mamas, a little info... My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. We live together, we share bills together, and we have a beautiful eight-month-old daughter together. We are even going to be looking to buy a house together in the spring.
We both have been married and divorced before we got together Therefore neither of us are in a hurry to get married anytime soon. However I would love to get engaged, and then just wait a few years down the road it to actually tie the knot. We have talked about marriage in the past, and we both seem to be on the same page but he has not shown any signs of wanting to propose. What I am wondering is how would I go about proposing to him? We even went out and bought each other rings. So I already technically have an engagement ring on my finger, at his ring will be here in about 3 to 5 days. So I think it would be really neat for me to propose to him, I just have absolutely no clue how to go about doing it, or IF I should even do it. Any help/advice would be great!!
So I went ahead and did it! I proposed to him. I got a Onsie for our daughter and wrote "Will you marry my mommy?" on it and she went over to daddy and he saw it. He said yes!!! He said I was crazy for asking him and I said "but that's why you love me!" and he said "so true!" hahaha. So we are officially engaged now! Thank you to all the mamas out there who offered up words of encouragement. It was much appreciated!
PS. I was so nervous! Now I feel sorry for all the men out there when they try to propose to all the women. ;-)
Don't do it... if there are no signs of him wanting to propose, that means he either has other plans or just isn't ready. I agree with the other posts- you are not on the same page...
So what exactly did you guys talk about when you went and picked out rings? Why would it be an engagement ring if he got one too? I agree with every other lady. Don't do it. It would be completely emasculating (if he was planning to do it himself) or just awkward (if he was not planning to propose anytime soon).
My advice? Don't do it.
You're not even close to being on the same page.
Anglea,
You are NOT on the same page. You have a baby, you have a ring, you share a household and the bills, but you want more of a solid commitment then, perhaps he's willing do give at this time. (This would bother me since you have a child together...but I'm sort of old school.) When his ring arrives, I would just ask; "what will wearing this mean to you"...how will it change our relationship"?
I have been married for 16 years. People still occasionally ask me how my husband proposed. I think most men would be embarrassed to say that their wife did the proposing.
It seems to me if you are close enough to live together and have a baby together you should be comfortable asking him his intentions. JMO though, you know your boyfriend, I don't.
How, exactly do you exchange rings without taking vows? So the ring on your finger is a lie? Sorry confused.
At best--he's not a details man.
At worst, he has no intention of ever getting married again.
If you propose, please be prepared for the worst upheaval of life you can imagine.
Specifically--you could hide the ring in a glass of wine.
Have your child hand it to him in a note (if you could manage it!).
Go to dinner and have the waiter present the ring with the bill.....
Since you said any advice will be great my advice is to not do it. I did a simmilar thing and my now fiance said he felt totally emasculated and almost did not go along with it even though we have both discussed it for years. We have been together 7.5yrs and just last year I got my ring, but it caused some friction that later I learned would not have been there had I just waited a little while longer. So, I suggest you wait - if you must do it now then say something along the lines of "Since we both have our rings let's do something fun about it so we have a cool story to tell because everyone will ask about it." and go from there.
Don't-wait for him to ask you
Consider that this could be emasculating for him and consider that it may also look desperate on your part. I think you would be better off with a conversation about your desire to be officially engaged.
I don't know if I would do it.
I never expected to get a ring from husband. We were both working and using all our money to pay for our wedding and preparing for our apartment together. I even purchased a wedding dress, and told my mother that we would walk down the isle before I got a ring or was officially proposed to. Unbeknownst to me he had a big ring and proposal planned and officially propose to me 2 months before we got married. Had, I been at all anxious about getting married and jumped the gun and asked him, he would have ended up disappointed.
You know your boyfriend best, we don't know him at all. But if you think there is any chance that he might want to be the one to do the proposing, I think I'd wait it out a little longer and see what happens! Best wishes!
You know him better than anyone but I'm not so sure I would jump too quickly. Since you both bought rings maybe he is planning something, or maybe he is just not ready.
Good luck and happy life together if you do pop the question!!
Well, I kind of proposed to my husband.
We had been going out a few years, and talking about having kids some day, so one night over dinner I just said "so are we going to get married or what?"
I then explained that as much as I loved him, and as much fun as we were having together, I wasn't going to be one of those women "waiting" for her man to commit, nor would I ever consider having a child without that commitment first (we had been living together for about six months.) I also let him know two years was a plenty long enough courtship. I wasn't mean about it or emotional, just serious and honest.
He was a bit shocked but said, well yes I do want to marry you! We eloped about three months later and in November we will celebrate our 20th anniversary :)
I don't care what people think about morality, romance, friendship, religion, living arrangements, whatever. Weddings and rings are fun but that's not what matters to me.
For me the bottom line was making sure that our relationship is recognized and protected by LAW, period. People fall in and out of love all the time, but that little piece of paper gives me a lot of comfort. I know he can't just walk away when things get hard, and neither can I. And if something were to happen to him (God forbid) I will automatically get all of his benefits, the house, life insurance and other property. My children and I will be taken care of.
I guess this isn't what you wanted to hear but I couldn't help myself LOL! Best of luck :)
After 11 years of dating and living together off and on, my husband asked me what I wanted for my birthday that year and I said "for you to marry me", so he did ;) So, I think that was my proposal.
I would wait till he asks or you make a mutual decision. I think it would be a little humiliating for. Guy to tell his friends an family that you proposed to him. It could end badly. If you have agreed to not be pushy about marriage...don't be.
I've never been one to wait around for someone else to offer me what I want. I go after it. Why not just ask, "Will you marry me?"
I would wait it out a litte longer, perhaps he is planning on asking you when he feels the time is right for you both. He may take it the wrong way.
I would not do it either. My now DH and I were together for 4 years before we conceived our son. We lived together afterwards, sharing everything. We had talked about it, but I still was waiting. It was a complete surprise when he did, but he did.
Maybe he is going to propose when his ring gets here and he won't wear his until it is right.
Personally, I wouldn't wear it until he put it on my finger.
eeeeek. don't do it. You'll be so much happier if he does it, even if you have to wait longer and drop hints or downright be clear that he should.
Good for you!!! I would wait for his ring and have a romantic dinner and then just pop the question. I might put this way....I believe we have been together for a while now and I love you with all my heart, lets get engaged and take our time getting married. Or when his ring comes ask him " Does this mean were engaged" I think its great that your doing it. Good luck!
