OK, I have to ask because I'm curious. A little background. I'm in my mid 40s and have been very happily married for almost 20 years. We have an active and satisfying sex life. I believe my husband would describe all of these things in the same way. We sleep in separate bedrooms and always have because he sleeps with a breathing machine for snoring problems. We are both happy with sleeping arrangements and it doesn't infringe upon our "fun" time at all - if anything, I think it helps because there's always an invitation involved when we want to be together.
So . . . here's my question - is it common for any Mommas out there that when sex is over, you more or less want to be alone without any cuddling? Don't get me wrong, my husband is perfectly OK with this (he's anxious to get back to sleep as I usually have to wake him up for sex). I seriously almost throw him out of my room as soon as it's over - he gets a little wave off from me and then he leaves. I'm not mad at him, but I'm happy to just be alone, read, check email, whatever - I just don't feel like having him around afterwards. Anyone else ever heard of this? PS - I should say that we spend at least 1/2 hour after dinner talking and "connecting" - just the two of us. We also have a little cuddle/talk time in bed just before the sex so we are on the same page and intimacy isn't an issue for either of us - we can talk about anything and everything. We feel safe to share our innermost feelings/fears. Is it normal that I practically throw him out after sex? BTW, he's not complaining and finds it somewhat amusing.
I think you're probably every man's dream woman! LOL
Seriously, if it *works* for you, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks!
Whatever works for you is normal. This seems to be working just fine. Don't fix what aint broke!
Not sure what "normal" is, but it works for you guys!
My husband and I share a bed, but we do not cuddle or chit-chat or whatever after sex. I usually get up and go shower and he'll typically be asleep by the time I get back. If it's a quicky he is dressed and back to doing whatever it was he was doing before by the time I get out of the shower. We are not big cuddlers in bed. I like my space and he gets too hot. We do cuddle while watching TV or sitting out on the deck, but not in bed.
I hate to cuddle! We sleep in the same bed, but after sex I just want to go to sleep, and I don't want anyone touching me when I do!
Well it is normal to want to sleep afterwards and if you sleep in separate rooms it seems normal.
I think the only way it would be a problem is if one of you didn't want to be separate at that moment. Like he wanted to cuddle, or talk about something and you are like I have had my way with you I have no need for you anymore go away!!! That would be dysfunctional, what you do seems normal for your circumstances.
I hate cuddling! I don't throw him out of bed because we sleep in the same bed, but I might if we didn't! :) He finds it amusing as well and sometimes he still tries and I might put up with it for a minute or two, and then I'm out! Just how I am and it doesn't mean I don't love him and am not attracted to him.
There's all kinds of marriages and if it works for you, then it works for you. Kings and Queens of old had separate bedrooms where they could retreat to even if they often shared quarters. And if you read some accounts, they had different castles entirely! (Hey, no divorce then, unless you started your own church.)
My ILs sleep apart for similar reasons, but they seem to be very close and caring toward each other.
If it works for you, then what's the problem? Me...personally...I wouldn't like that. I'm not just good for sex, and it would be little insensitive, and feel a bit trashy. If my husband did that to me (or I to him) it would not work. So, we don't do that! (We sleep in the same bed, as well. Not doing so, would not work for us.) If you have a great marriage and you both are OK with doing that, it's YOUR normal. Your normal would not feel good to me, so I have my own normal!
Sounds a little strange to me, but strange isn't always bad. I personally love having my husband stick around after we have sex, but if neither of you have a problem with this arrangement then who cares if it's normal or not? Your job as a wife is to make him happy and his job as a husband is to make you happy and if you're both doing your jobs then keep doing what you're doing.
meh.. whatever. Sometimes I like to be snuggled with after. And sometimes I'd rather get up and go get something cold to drink, have a snack, and read.
I'm that way too. My husband thinks I act just like a guy! LOL But he seems happy enough not to have to chit-chat afterwards, so it works for us!
I'm the same way. I typically don't want to be cuddled (and if I do, it has nothing to do with sex). We sleep in the same bed, and typically just hold hands after. It's not that we don't love each other, it's just that we're on different schedules. Usually he's going to bed, and I have the whole day ahead of me and can't lay in bed. (He's a third shift worker and sleeps during the day.) It works for us, and it's about the same.
I say if it works for you, you're happy and he's happy, who cares if it's normal for the rest of us?
*hugs*
"The Kama Sutra outlines the ways in which sex should begin and end. After sex, for instance, the lovers should not look at each other, and should separately go to the washing room. Afterwards, they should drink and eat light foods together and carry on agreeable conversation while the female lies in the male lap."
Minus the "lying on the male lap" part, I think even the Kama Sutra agrees with you ;)
98% of the time we sleep in different rooms. I can not sleep with the television on and he needs it. I do not get much sleep as it is. I sleep maybe 4 hrs a night. Been this way since I had my daughter 9 yrs ago. and now with my 4yr old that I breastfeed for his first year. Anyway, I do the same. We spend an hour in the morning talking, and spend an hour after the kids go to sleep and talk and watch some tv. Then I go to the bedroom. We are fine. You are not alone. :)
I tend to go to sleep afterwards, and I don't want to be touched while I'm sleeping.
