Biologival Dad

I've read a lot about what to tell an adopted child when you dont have a lot of info. Let her know its OK to wonder what he is like, tell her what little is know -color of his eyes? hair? does she have his smile or his singing voice? If nothing else you can speculate... if her eyes or artistic talent or athletic ability do not reflect her mother you can say maybe you get that from him. But continue to reinforce her family are the people who love her and care for her and celebrate birthdays etc with her, Mom and G pop and Auntie and Uncle and maybe you? That the reason he is not in her life is not because of her but because he wasn't ready to be a father or ....?

just satisfy her curiousity, how much is she asking about, she's old enough to know a bit of information (not the 1 night stand part)...maybe we dated, and decided after i got pg that we weren't for eachother and i didn't know how to reach him after i found out i was pg with you, etc

She is looking for information. I would strongly suggest you be tackful and honest. We all have moments where we weren't what we hoped to be and do things we wished we hadn't.

I would find out why she wants to know or just answer the questions as best you can but try to let her be confidant in knowing that you will be supportive of her finding out what she wants to know when she is older.

I think that depending on what she is asking you may need to table those answers until she is older (perhaps 18) then you can both find out the answers to her questions.

She needs the truth, but of course not all of the details at her age.

Tell her the truth but on her level. I have an 11 year old. When he ask questions I tell him the truth but on his level. There is no need to go into explicit details but this generations is far more advanced than the previous generations. I am a school teacher. You would be shocked the conversations that these children are having. Keep in mind when she turns 18 that is not going to change her mind about the situation.

Edited honesty is the best option here. She will eventually find out the truth and will be upset by the reality and the fact that she was lied to.

I would suggest telling her that the relationship was very short and that they didn't get along. Let her know that mom and dad had stopped seeing eachother by the time mom found out she was expecting. The odds are pretty good that she will at some point want to find him, so mom is going to need to do her best to recall his name and where he was living at the time just in case.

Does he know that she exists?

i know it isn't the same - but i was adopted and my parents always told me if i had more questions, or wanted to go looking for biological parents once i was 18 they would do everything in their power to help me.

they wanted me to make a decision based on being an adult - not on the notion that the grass was greener elsewhere.
good luck.

She is probably old enough to handle the truth, as long as it is given in love.