I Have a Question for an Adult Adoptee

Raising an adopted child will be no different than raising your own biological child if you adopt a baby.

I was adopted 1 day shy of being a month old and never remember not knowing I was adopted. My mother always said that some women carry their children in their bellies for 9 months but she carried me in her heart for 10 years (how long they tried to adopt). I have always know "who I was." Yes being adopted is something I'm proud of because it's unique, but it's never been anything that has hindered me. When I was in Middle School and High School I had a burning desire to find my bio parents but as an adult I'm actually kind of scared to do it.

You really have to tell the child from before you think he/she will understand. I think it's horrible when people hide it from their kids. I had a boss that did that and when they finally told him when he was in MS, he didn't take it well.

Also, know that is your baby. There will be no different in it and the child you carry in your tummy. I don't mean to be tacky, but if you think it will be, you may not be ready or right for adoption. If you ever treat the raising of the child different because of the adoption (either better or worse) there will be huge emotional issues with both children!

I can't imagine the screening process that adoption agencies have in place but I know it is long and tedious. Which is excellent to weed out the people who aren't right for what ever reason.

Good luck with what ever you decide.

Well I was adopted when I was just an infant. My adopted parents had 2 boys and wanted a girl. My parents were upfront and told me I was adopted when I was 5. And I was alwas free to ask questions. The agency gave my adopted paretns a picture of me and asked if they like to meet me and set up a date and they got to come get me for the day.Then they brought me back and were asked if they like to adopt me and sd yes. The agency told me parents they could pick me up the next day. There was a waiting period b4 the sdoption was final and went to court. They did monthly studies to ensure it was a good fit.

Growing I knew I was choose as other kids paretns told them they were a mistake.( I don't feel any child is a mistake)
So to this day I am very close to my adopted Dad. I do admit I became more a Daddy's girl and my brothers were more mama boys but that happens whether your adopted or birth children. My brother never treated me any diffenent.

Not knowing my medical history is harder for the Dr as they sometimes have to guess when you have no family history. If I had known my family history I perhaps could of been tested for things sooner. Mine was a closed adopted and I tried to locate my biological Mother and Father but you can only do that after age 18 and its been interesting the things I learned. My adopted parents were always supportive and told me if I wanted to they support me and they asked me to let them know they be interested in learning more too.

My biological parents could never take my adopted paretns place and I appreciate and love them very much.

I have 2 kids and I would like to adopt but I have no idea what agency to go to without paying thousands of dollars. I would like to give some child a home as I was given.

Hope this helps email with any questions.

I was adopted when I was 3 days old. I always knew that I was adopted so I am guessing my adopted partents always told me and I didn't know any different. There were times growing up that I had issues with it, I went through times when I was young that I just didn't understand why my biological partents gave me up. When I got older my adopted parents started letting me in on my biological partents situation and it made it easier to deal with. I was adopted in Illinios and it is a closed adoption state so I have no chance of meeting my biological partents unless I pay tons of money for a private company to find them... which I am not about to do. I would love to find them... so I can ask all those un-answered questions. I do love my adopted parents more then the world... they are my parents. We are as close as they come, I talk to my mom everyday and I'm 24 - married with kids! :) I would suggest you go down this road... people don't understand how they can change a childs life! If you have any other questions please just ask!!! Good luck to you!

I'm not adopted, but my father was. I don't know all of the details, and obviously, because he was adopted almost 70 years ago, things were MUCH different, but I would like to mention a couple of issues that you may be able to prevent, if they're taken into consideration beforehand...
1. See if you can get as complete a medical background on the biological parents as you can. My father had his first heart attack when he was 42, and died of cancer when he was 62. However, he led a very "rough life" (smoker, cop, alcoholic, etc.), so we don't know if his cancer was biological or due to his lifestyle, It would be nice to know for both my generation, and my kids/neices/nephews.
2. After my father passed away, and I was going through his paperwork, I was surprised to see how much time and effort he had given to tracking down his biological parents (lots of letters to the adoption agency, the catholic church, search firms, even the TV show that tracked down people). He never discussed it, but obviously it was an issue for him. I'm not sure how much information you can get on the biological parents, but the more the better.
Good luck!

62 yr old adopted lady here. Three of us baby girls were taken from family by authorities in Ohio when I was 2 in 1950s and adopted separately. I was always told I was special and adopted so it was simply a fact of life. Wonderful childhood with an otherwise childless middle aged couple and another adopted younger male child . No need for searching, but did get my orig birth cert. from the state and knew names but filed it away for years. 20some yrs ago,,went snooping and found them unexpectedly!! I looked so very much like my bio mother it was almost scary. But the family generations were not good quality citizens. When my unjealous adoptive mother met my bio mother, things turned ugly on both their behalves. When my adopted mother passed, we looked the bio family up again and I do have half siblings as friends/family now. But, the find did cause very hard feelings with my adopted mother. We all have different expriences and when we search, anything is possible. I recently acquired the original court hearing files concerning our removal from the bio family and they describe all personalities in the family and it wasn't pretty! So, I'm now trying to process in my mind what all goes into making me who I am. Nobody understands or wants to hear me chat on about it, so I kinda deal with it inside. All situations are different. Nobody can know the future feelings for anyone involved. But every child of any age deserves love and stability, no matter what risk adopted parents take to provide it. It takes extremely special people to share such unselfish love with someone else's child, I think. Thanks to my adoptive family and God for my life and all the love given to me. God Bless You and take care of you and those u love.

In addition to “Adopting Me: An Adopted Child Shares His Perspective” at http://www.crosswalk.com/parenting/11599051/, there are many more informative articles at www.crosswalk.com. Search “adopt” in the site search box near the upper right-hand corner of the screen to find these and more.

My husband and I recently met a couple that is fost-adopting. They had nothing but praise for the Lake Pointe adoption ministry. I encourage you to check out this resource at http://rockwall.lakepointe.org/Ministries/AdditionalOppt/...

I pray that you will let God guide you along the best pathway for your life as He advises you and watches over you (Psalm 32:8 NLT).

I was adopted when I was two and the only bad thing I can say is I have no medical info for either of my parents and that makes me high risk for everything

I was two when I was adopted. I knew I looked different (I'm Korean), but I have always accepted my family as my family...I had a wonderful life, I have never had a desire to meet my bio parents as I have been well taken care of and reared by my mom and dad. I have two older brothers but my husband knows that should anything happen to my parents, we would be the ones to take care of them as my brothers just aren't in a position to be able to do so. I couldn't imagine my life any other way!