Best Friend & Ex-Best Friend Are Buddy/Buddy

Oh, I'm kind of in a similar 'triangle' right now, except I'm the 'other' woman. lol! I kind of broke it off with a good friend of mine for several reasons that I won't go into- then, I ran into her bff, who has her own cake business. She offered to do my daughters' birthday cakes, I hired her, and she and I hit it off as friends. We have been hanging out, and my ex friend is so upset about it. I hate that she feels that way, I really do- after all, we stopped being friends but I didn't stop caring about her feelings. But her bff and I never talk bad about her behind her back, ever!

Honestly, I'll answer your question with a question. Should I break it off with my new friend, that I really enjoy, who has a son who is becoming good friends with my daughter, just because my ex friend is feeling some jealousy?

I think not... what is happening in your life with your friend is an inevitable part of life. People grow apart, they grow together... keep being friends with your friend. You enjoy her company. Trust that she is fully capable of caring for other people without caring for you less!

Ugh I hate this part of relationships with women. I had many friends in high school and then all of a sudden their new friends didn't like me and I was out of the picture. I think that is why I have only a few female friends and more male friends. Men are easy as friends and aren't caddy and don't gossip behind your back like most women do. I would stay friends with your BFF and if you sense something more than foul back away. No sense in losing 2 friends. Maybe ask your friend if she knows why your other friend stopped being your friend? That might help. Other than that hopefully everything gets better.

I would 100% be extremely uncomfortable with that. When I take an old friend (who hurt me extremely bad) and picture her hanging out with my best friend, omg, I can feel myself getting aggitated already. I would DEFINITELY watch everything I say and do because I would feel I'm becoming the topic of discussion. Especially if I was having personal things, like fights with husband, or money issues, and I would usually vent to her, I would definitely feel I couldnt share this information with her because I wouldnt want it getting back and gossiped about. Not that your friend is maliscious in that way, but things slip. You're in a very rough position.. and in my opinion and obviously only if this was me, but I know for a fact I would end up distancing myself. Sorry for your crappy situation. :(

Oh I have been there. It was in HS but I have been through it. I think you should protected yourself as best you can...here is my story..hopefully I dont become long winded..If I do bear with me.

My Best Friend(BF) and I had known each other since third grade. She had moved down the street from me. She was also in my class, so naturally we got to hanging out. We never spent a day or moment apart. We still have a cache of movies from the past that we ''QUOTE'' from. Anyways, We stayed this close until our Sophomore year(we didnt have a middle school setting, so the first year of HS for us was our Sophomore year). She was more excepted by the popular crowd. She got into partying and I got a boyfriend. We had just become to different people. I was broken, oh so broken. She was hanging out with a few girls I knew pretty well from Junior High. They were horrible people. Reasoning with her at that point only drove her further away from me. She tried making ammends with me my Junior year of High school. I was already so bitter that she had abandoned me when I needed her the most. I did decide to just ''keep in touch with her'' We would say hi when we saw each other.

She went off to college...She was away most the time. We didnt really talk much during this time. I still saw her family every once in awhile, so they would keepme updated on how she was doing. By this point too I was not bitter, more sad we didnt have each other anymore. Taking a break from school for a while she went to Africa, to work with an all girls orphanage. She did some pretty amazing work. The photo journals she brought back with her were just amazing.

By this time I had been married and given birth to my oldest. I rememeber going to her welcome back party. She was living in Seattle going to SPU. I dont know why, but ever since she came back from the CONGO(the main place she was in while in Africa)we have been attached back at the hip. She is a full pledge AUNTIE in my kids. She is the ones person that I honestly could never be mad at. she has taught me what it means to over come stuff.

My point to the rambling is if you decided to protect your heart from the "OTHER'' in your friends life, I wouldnt blame you. But do not banish your BF for life. This friendship she has with the ''Other'' maybe short lived. If you still want to see each other everyonce and a while still see her. If she is truly a BF she will understand. You have to look out for your own heart first before you can take on others:)

Good luck mama! know she stills loves you...you still love her. You just need to step back from the situation for a bit.

I would still be friends with her and not sweat it. If she says they are not talking about you then you have to trust that they aren't. I wouldn't distance yourself from her because it is not her fault. What happened between you and ex-friend is between you and ex-friend.

I agree with you.
This is not right.

Trust is essential to friendship. Unfortunately, your trust in your best friend has been compromised, whether in actuality or assumed. Point blank, you don't trust her (not to be talking about you) and you feel her loyalty (to you) has been breached.

If I was in this situation, I wouldn't be able to ignore my suspicions. I would continue to be friends, but it would be guarded confidence. Unfortunately, she would be a friend, but not my best friend.

Friendships grow and change over time. You need to let yours evolve. If it's meant to last another 14 years, then she will fight to preserve your relationship. Don't be desperate. Don't be clingy or jealous. Give it space, but be honest with yourself that things may be changing.

I would not, repeat not, confront or say anything to her that implies that you are not best friends. That will just do more damage. Remember, stay above it--and don't be desperate for her friendship.

They each have the right to be friends with whomever they choose. Their friendship has nothing to do with you. I think that you're over-thinking things and torturing yourself.

Let it go, it's not worth damaging your relationship with your BFF. She is allowed to be friends with whomever she wants, and it sounds like more of a friendship of convenience since their kids like to play together and they are both stay at home moms. I have a few "mommy friends" that I like spending time with because it's easy and we get along fine, but they are not nearly as dear to me as my BFF is, there are many levels of friendship. And if your BFF is a true friend to you she is not talking about you behind your back to this other woman, or allowing the other woman to talk bad about you to her. It just comes down to trust, do you trust your BFF?