Just thought it would be a little fun to throw some out there and hear some stories in return. My husband and I have an ongoing joke, I ask him why he let me get so old, to which he says, I didn't do it. My reply, "Well I was young when I met you, now I am not." Silence.
The other day my husband (thinking he is smart) looks and me and says, "Why did you let me get so old?"
I answered back, " Because you REALLY wouldn't like the alternative." Silence then laughing.
We tease my mom about not really listening to people, we tell her all she hears is circus music. Doo Doo Do do dooo do. You get the picture. She tells me yesterday, "I told your great uncle you were writing a book, then I told him you should write stories about your dreams and title it, Dreams from a Twisted Mind." she is chuckling at her own joke when I reply,
"No I was thinking of writing a book about what goes on in your mind, I am going to title it "Where is all this circus music coming from?" Silence.....ahhh love those moments. Ever get a good one in on someone?
I tell my husband "Sorry, was I talking while you were interrupting?" it makes him laugh and he realizes he was interrupting AGAIN.
This is not meant as a dis to your jokes but I don't get it. Please someone tell me they are scratching their heads as well, please.
It just feels like something funny from home that I tell at work and everyone stares at me and I realize that isn't funny without a mess of back story is it?
To a teenager:
"Your actions are speaking so loudly, I can't hear what you're saying."
J.:
I'm sorry - I don't get it. Like Jo - I'm scratching my head - this is an inside joke that people on the outside don't get.
Are you looking to get our witty come backs?
My kids and I were relaxing in our king sized bed. DH comes in and tells the kids "you're in my spot!" I said to the kids, tell Dad... I was conceived and born in this bed...I think it's our spot!
At one of my past jobs there was a new guy in charge of safety. There were a bunch of us working on a project and he came up and said "what's wrong with this picture?" I then very quickly said
"your always in it!" Some of the ppl had to walk away cause they couldn't stop laughing.
When ppl ask me to do something that I know is impossible I tell them "Yeah right, rub a lamp" (Genie lamp)
Around the holidays I also use this phrase... 'There is mistletoe in my back pocket....kiss my A**"
Sometimes when my husband is telling me something and he thinks I am not paying attention he will ask me if I heard him. I tell him no all I heard was wah wah... wah, wah, wah. ( like the teacher in the peanuts movie) LOL
I think I understand what you're asking...LOVE Sandy's by the way...I will definitely use that.
The best come back I ever heard was when a guy was disrespecting my friend at a bar and she laughed in his face and said, "Hey, Prince called, and he wants his shirt back." The guy was wearing this horrid paisley thing that looked like a woman's blouse, so it really was hilarious.
ETA: this was years ago, by the way...not going to bars anymore, obviously
