Best Advice

Don't take this the wrong way, but she's probably already getting more advice than she can stand to hear.

~Never wake a sleeping baby (who's over 4 weeks old that is)

~You cannot spoil a newborn or hold a newborn too much.

~Never let a newborn "cry it out". You are that baby's lifeline - the only thing that matters in it's world.

I think the best advice is to be easy going. I had SO many things that I was or wasn't going to do (such as: never use a nuk, or switch to sippy only at 1). Babies don't care what you have planned, and in the long run it doesn't matter.
It's also good to know that the baby doesn't know or care that you feel like you don't know what you are doing... by the time they get it you'll be a pro... so relax and don't sweat the small stuff!

I actually got this peice of advise from Mary Pawlenty and I have found it to be wonderful. Pack your diaper bag when you get home form an outing, that way it is ready when you need to leave next time. So when I get home I always try to restock the diapers, wipes, snacks and a clean outfit. One less thing to worry about when your trying to get out the door with a little one.

I also like the one about packing an extra shirt for your self.... came in hand more times than I can count

1. If you are going to go back to work at some point, have your husband take a leave of absence from work to stay home with the baby for a while. My husband stayed home with our baby for 2 1/2 months when I went back to work (the baby was 5 months old), and it made a HUGE difference in everything that has happened since.

My husband GETS it. He knows what it is like to be home with a baby, to get up in the middle of the night with a crying baby, and he has been an equal partner in parenting our sons ever since. I always feel supported, and I never feel that my mothering is taken for granted. This was the smartest, most wonderful thing we ever could have done.

2. Read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Marc Weissbluth. This book will save your life. It did mine. I have happy, healthy, confident, affectionate children with great sleep habits. (A teeny bit of crying it out when your baby is old enough can do wonders, and avoid months of agonizing sleepless nights.)

3. There is a breastfeeding cushion out there that is sort of in the shape of a bone (wider at the ends, narrower in the middle) that is SO comfortable for holding a baby, whether or not you are feeding her. I used mine constantly when my babies were small.

If there is one thing I could offer advice it would be this...Do take offers on someone taking care of your little one so you and your hubby can have a night/weekend off, that is one thing I would have changed in raising our girls, they are now 10 yrs and 8 yrs, and it is so hard trying to get away for some alone time!!!! I was selfish with the both of them and always wanted to be with them, but now that their older they are used to that too!!!
Good luck and enjoy your new bundle of love:)

Two things to always remember

1. This too shall pass

2. Will this matter tomorrow?

We as mothers always seem to jump to correct and expect perfect little angels which is impossible for even the best of children. When they do something you want to jump in getting after them, ask yourself "will this matter tomorrow?" A dumped canister of flour, a little mess while they are exploring.. they won't matter tomorrow. Help clean it up and remember you are making memories not messes.

Those crying nights with no sleep and the days of wanting to pull your hair out.. remember that this too shall pass. It will save santity when you don't think you have anymore.

I have three little ones and my best advise for the new mom-to-be is to add a shirt for herself into the baby's diaper bag. I don't know how many times I needed a new shirt while out and about. Baby vomit, breast milk leak, baby pee . . . the embarrassing list goes on and on. I don't know how many times I've pulled out a new shirt from the diaper bag to save myself from an embarrassing nasty shirt.

Join MOPS or another moms support group
Read to your baby
Sleep when the baby sleeps
Relax and enjoy because children grow so fast and you'll be asking Where did the time go?
HAVE FUN!

1. NEVER WAKE A SLEEPING BABY!!!

2. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. Trust them even over your mother's advice and the doctor's advice.

3. ASK FOR HELP. With meals, with housework, with feeding the baby, with running errands. People like to feel helpful!

4. BABY-PROOF and TODDLER-PROOF EVERYTHING. This will save you SO much energy over time.

5. LOVE IS WHAT REALLY MATTERS.

I think this is a great idea!! WHOEVER SAID she is already getting plenty of advice- are you kidding especially if its going to be written down, what a great way to preserve the advice especially since there will be so much advice it will be hard to remember it all!
I love to hear other moms advice- and heres one "listen to what others say, but take it with a grain of salt not everything will always apply at that time with your children! Also enjoy it because this is the season to enjoy and be a mom, they grow so quickly"

I agree - fabulous idea!! I'm a Trainer/Writer by profession, so forgive me for giving you some formatting ideas. :) I'd suggest that as you get these, you sort them into categories. Like "Feeding", "Sleeping", "Inspirational", "Taking care of You" and so on. If some fit more than one category, just repeat them.

Mine is simple, but SO helpful! I was making the mistake of allowing our son to fall asleep in our arms in those first few weeks. Then he'd wake as we tried to lay him down, so we'd sleep in the recliner with him sometimes, exhausting and frustrating ourselves!! My Stepmom said "Don't let him fall ALL the way asleep in your arms. When he gets delirious, walk him to his room and lay him down. If he fusses, pat him softly, soothe him, turn on the mobile, whatever." It may take some trial & error,but it works!! They learn that their bed is for sleeping in, and that routine helps you from the time they are 1 week to 4 years old. My son has ALWAYS gone to sleep very well because of his consistent routine. It was absolutely the most useful advice I ever got!

I would say you can read the expert books to your hearts content and your child is still gong to eat, sleep and play exactly how they will... they are their own little individuals and no one can tell you how your child will be!

I have this hanging in my home;

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow...
for babies grow up we've learned to our sorrow...
so quiet down cobwebs...
dust go to sleep...
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep!

Enjoy every snuggle you can with you little one it only lasts a very short time.

*Be prepared for unwanted/unsolicited advice and have a scripted response so you are not caught off guard. "Thank you so much for that information, we will think about that." "We are excited about the baby's check-ups and will add that question to the list."

*Hold that baby as much as you want to. They don't 'spoil'. If the baby cries, it is telling you it needs something.

*Buy same brand baby gear so that the latchable toys can be used on all of the pieces.

*Get two boppy pillows if you live in a split level house. (one for upstairs to nurse and one for downstairs)

*Check out the local ECFE classes, even for when the babe is only a month or so old.

*Get out of the house and give Dad a chance to nurture the baby without you standing over him. It is good for ALL of you.

*Let Dad in on the party!

*Take lots of pictures and BACK UP your hard drive often!

*Tell that baby how much you love it everyday.

*And, relax. You're not the first to have a baby nor the last. There is a community of other moms willing to help.

Hello A.,

You have a lot of great things here. I jsut wanted to say that at my baby shower this was done along with a name the baby game. and I have to say it is fun to pick up the cards now and read them as some of them are funny, some are so very true and some really make you stop and think! Good luck!

P.S. Mine is : Enjoy everymoment happy, sad and even angry. They grow so fast and you forget the events and they are fun to think back and laugh about.

The best advice I received was, "Don't listen to advice. Trust yourself." :)

Below are some pieces of advice I got and found more useful than others:

Don't buy baby things that you "think" you will need before the baby is born. Just buy the essential stuff and then buy what you "need" when you need it.

You (the mother) *always* knows what is best for the baby. Trust your motherly instincts.

Enjoy your time with your baby as much as you can. They grow up so fast!

My husband swears that the best advice we got came from our doctor. She told us, "If you aren't sure whether the baby needs to come see us or not then think about who it is bothering. If something is bothering the baby then come in. If it is just bothering the mom then it likely isn't necessary to see the doctor."

The most important thing I can think of is to remember that when the baby cries they are trying to tell you something but that doesn't mean you'll always understand them. Feed them, burp them, change them, try to make sure they get some sleep and then realize that they still may cry. You aren't doing anything wrong...you are doing the best you can. I read something once that basically said," it doesn't matter if you are as good as your mother, or any other mother or even as good a mother as you were yesterday...it matters that you are the best mother you can be at this moment." That's all anyone can ask. One final thing...read "The Baby Whisperer." I thought it was fantastic and only wish I'd read it sooner.

Don't spend a lot of money on toys - kids are perfectly happy with things like bowls, spoons, measuring cups, etc.

Find a lullabye cd you love, play it often, sing along with it. My favorite is "A child's gift of lullabyes". I still know all the songs and my kids enjoyed hearing me sing them for many years.

Read to your child from a very early age - incorporate it into your routine. Check books out from the library, make going to the library to pick out books part of your weekly routine.

Get a babysitter and keep date night with your spouse.

Find a way to get SLEEP.

-Sleep when the baby sleeps.

-Ask your husband to help/be involved as much as possible. Both of you (and the baby!) will be glad you're both involved.

-Don't worry about cleaning, ask your husband to clean or your mom/sister/friend.

-Don't be afraid to ask for help/advice if you're unsure about anything. But remember you're the mom and you know best.

-When the baby is a little older (12 weeks) let him cry it out a little when you put him down for the night. I didn't do this for naps, but it was important for me to do this at night so I could get good sleep. Now both my boys (3 1/2 years and 20 months) can put themselves to sleep very easily. And they sleep all night.

-You're only human, there will be bad days and good days, don't be too hard on yourself.

This is a great idea. I am a new mom and am writting down all the things that helped me through pregnancy and having a new baby so I don't forget them for the next time around. Here are a couple that haven't been posted already:

-Use the Halo Sleep Sacks for babys to sleep in (blankets can be very unsafe). They reduce the chance of SIDS. It also helps you sleep better knowing they are safe and warm through the night and not having to worry about them moving the blanket over their head and rebreathing their air.

-Let the baby eat as much as they want in the evenings "cluster feeding." This worked great for my daughter and made it possible for her to sleep all the way through the night by the time she was 1 month old. (She gained plenty of weight through her development, so it wasn't necessary to wake her to eat)

-Get the baby adjusted by a chiropractor. They have just been through a lot of trauma from the birth (even c-sections can be traumatic) and are probably hurting from it. I noticed our baby typically only turned her head to the right, which also affected the way she nursed on the right breast. By getting her adjusted it allows her to turn her head comfortably in either direction and also fixes any aches and pains she has throughout her body due to the birth. I believe this is a big part of why our daughter is so happy and easy going. Adjustments are also great for colic and ear infections!

Breastfeeding is not an instinctual/easy process....mom and baby have a learning curve, it a "process". If you want to nurse, keep trying and get all the help and support you can, it is not always easy. If it hurts, in the beginning that is normal, try a nipple sheild (available at Target) to help the baby latch and yo protect your nipples somewhat.

No-one ever told me how hard it could be, I had one baby with reflux, and flat nipples, so both had latching issues, and IT HURTS for the first few weeks. BUT it is rewarding once you build that realtionship, it is easier than travelling with bottles, etc.

That said, try to introduce the bottle (of pumped milk or formula, which ever) around 2-4 weeks and be regular with it - one a day or so, so that Dad can enjoy that closeness too, baby stays used to the bottle, and you can get out and about some.

1. Don't wake a sleeping baby. They will wake up when they are hungry.

2. Eat, Wake, Sleep. It makes running around a lot easier because you don't need to feed them down.

Apologies if this is a duplicate...I used a lingerie bag to put baby's socks in after they were worn and ready to go in the wash. Then they were always together and much easier to pair up!

Some advice for your marriage - never criticize your husband when he's trying to help, no matter how he does the job. It really doesn't matter that much if he puts on a diaper a little bit wrong, or picks out a crazy outfit. I'd just live with it or quietly change it later when he wouldn't know. :) He asked me lots of times how he should do things, and in that case I'd help him, but I'd also tell him that however he did things was just fine. My husband was really nervous and I think he felt a lot more confident around our baby due to the fact that I was supporting him and not cutting down how he did everything.

Hold your baby, crying it out doesn't make sense.
Get a Sarah's ride so you can take you baby anywhere easily.
When younger get a different carrier that's comfortable for you and the baby.
Breastfeed.
S.
mamasource business owner

Smell your baby every day (every hour wouldn't be such a bad idea)

I think of this because I always remember my great-grandma saying that she loved to kiss her babies' butts after she washed them up. What a treasure! If she still remembered this at 92, then it must have been a pretty good investment of time.