Nursing Baby to Sleep

Hi H.,

There are lots of opinions out there on this one. I really don't see it as a bad habit. It is a natural thing for babies to do. I personally nursed mine (all 4) and it worked for our family.

I think there are definitely circumstances when it might not work for the mom. For instance, if she works and is not getting enough sleep. Mom not getting enough sleep is definitely not good for anyone! :)

So, if it works for you and your family, I think you're right - Just do what works!!! Here is a great site with lots of info as well:

http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/comfortnursing.html

H., I raised two children and only nursed for a couple of months, I wish I had nursed till they were a year, but at a young age you just don't know better and that is why this site is so great, you can learn from others. Breast feed your baby for as long as you feel the need, I have knewn mom's to feed till their babies are 2. Feeding your baby to sleep is great.

I am a grandma now and just love it. My thoughts for you are that you never let your child feel unloved by not attending to their needs. Letting a child cry them self to sleep for 1 and a half is doing just that. But this seems to be the advice of some people. Some doctors will tell new moms that this is OK, but it's not. These doctors are usually men whom don't know anything about raising a child but only delivering them.

Believe me when I say, the day will come when your child is grown and gone off to college and your wondering where the years went and wish you had them back, cherish these moments and enjoy everything that makes your baby who she is.

AGAIN, MOTHERS SHOULD NEVER LET THEIR BABIES CRY FOR MORE THEN A COUPLE OF MINUTES. IF THEY ARE CRYING, THEY NEED YOU PERIOD. If your husbands let you cry for an hour and a half without tending to you, you would think he didn't love you, wouldn't you????? H., I know this is not what your doing, but I feel the need to say this because of the advice I have seen on here.

A concerned grandmother.

I nurse my baby to sleep as well. She sleeps so seldomly that I call this survival. It is comforting to her and I truly believe that our girls will work themselves out of it. My lactation consultant said that she struggled with this too and her children all walked themselves to kindergarden and are all living very healthy productive lives! My advice is get sleep however you can!

i think you should continue doing as you are doing...i am sure that when your baby matures she will allow other people to get her to sleep. my 19 mth old still prefers to nurse to sleep but she has allowed her dad to get her to bed (rocking her) for the past several mos.
i'm sure you know they grow up too fast anyway...just enjoy the time you have now.

best wishes
mom to 3

Hi H.,
So the baby wants to know that she is loved and connected before she closes her sweet little eyes. My son is the same way and you know what everyone (Mother in law, mother, just about every other woman that I know) will tell you that you shouldn't do this or you shouldn't do that... the real question is, does it feel right to you and your little one? If the answer is yes, then do you! Every child is different, but one thing is for sure, there is nothing more natural than soothing a child this way, lovingly and peacefully, women have been doing it since the beginning of time. Anyway, what's the alternative? ... letting them cry it out? Studies are now confirming that that kind of prolonged stress is not good for baby.

Good luck w/ everything,
Dr.Missy

Dear H., in my opinion you have done nothing wrong in nursing your baby to sleep and would not consider it a bad habit. Yes it would be easier to be able to just lay your baby down to sleep and leave her to do on her own, but she will only be little once and soon she will be weaned and this time in your and her life will be gone. Enjoy the time you get to spend nursing, and comforting her before she sleeps. I nursed my son until he was three (that last year was only for naps and bedtime)and I will never regret it. He is now ten and a perfectly happy and healthy boy. He has a great immune system and great teeth, so no worries! I know there could be a million other things you could be doing if you didnt have to take that time to nurse, but honestly...is there anything more important? I doubt it. Be guilt free!

Blessings!
K.

Hi H.,

Like so many moms here, I so enjoyed being able to comfort my daughter through nursing. I nursed her for over a year and loved every minute. But I do remember vividly that at 10 months I was still nursing her to sleep, and getting up 3-5 times a night to nurse her back to sleep. It got to a point where I was exhausted. I continued to nurse, but I also bought the book "The No Cry Sleep Solution" to help transition from her using me as a pacifier to get to sleep. Eventually, she began sleeping longer and longer through the night. She weaned herself at about 14 months (started biting me!) and now at 2 she sleeps wonderfully through the night (except for the occasional bad dream). Their days of nursing do go by quickly, so do enjoy it and don't feel like you've done the wrong thing! :)

Blessings,
A.

Try putting him down drowsy but not totally asleep. Nurse him of course but try and keep him more awake. Maybe you can even work toward no milk before each nap by holding him in your arms until he is drowsy then putting him to bed. Our baby is 9 months old and we hold him in our arms for about 10 minutes with a binky and put him in his crib awake...sometimes he falls asleep quickly and quietly and sometimes he talks to himself for 30 minutes then falls asleep. And on the very rare occasion, he screamssss and doesnt want a nap so we take him out and let him play and try again at the next nap time where he always conks out. Hope this was helpful...just a suggestion.
~A.

I nursed my daughter to sleep till she was almost 10 months old till she weaned herself off of it. If you can manage to sleep at the same time, it is great. I believe it helps them to sleep a little bit longer and makes sure they are getting enough to eat. Bravo to you for continuing to breastfeed. Do what is working. It is not worth the stress. The attachment issues will work themselves out soon enough.

I nursed all my children and each one weaned himself except my youngest. He was past 2 and didn't want to nurse except for bedtime. It was more as a pacifier than eating so we decided to wean him completely. We tried everything (except crying it out - there's no way I could handle listening to him cry for that long). Nothing worked until we realized that he fell asleep in the stroller during walks. BINGO! After his bath and PJs, instead of heading to his room, we started taking him for a walk until he fell asleep then had dad transfer him into the crib so he wouldn't get any ideas ;o) Being outside in the fresh air and seeing the neighborhood distracted him from being sleepy and needing mom and after a while it became habit for him to doze without nursing. Car trips worked also sometimes if Dad carried him inside afterwards. Hope this helps and good luck.

My husband and I took a class called "Growing Kids Gods Way", in the infant class, they taught us that to get a baby to sleep through the night, put them in their crib, turn the light off and close the door. The child will cry for 15 minutes the first night (my daughter cried longer), but the key is DO NOT go back into the room. Let them cry, it won't hurt them. I tried this when my son was wanting to Nurse to sleep and it worked. It took 3 days for him to get the new routine.

I too nursed my first born to sleep until she weaned herself which was at 18 mnths. I always heard never stop a nursing baby until they're ready and I started to think she would nurse forever! : )
Fortunately right at 18 mnths old she just stopped and I started giving her a sippy cup before bed time if she was thirsty.
It didn't cause any problems for me letting her nurse to sleep because I was able to stay home with her and she was my only child at the time.
However the only problem it caused was some tooth decay on her front teeth from the milk sitting on her teeth as she fell asleep and we had to get them fixed.
Other than that, no problems at all so I wouldn't worry about it if I were you unless it starts causing problems for you.
She will eventually grow out of this stage and then you'll never get that special time back so just enjoy your time with her as much as you can! : )
Good luck & Take care!

THis is a late response but I highly recommend the book "On Becoming BabyWise" sometimes you can find it under just "BabyWise." It worked wonders for my family and I make sure I gift it to my friens who become new moms.

Hi H., my name is D.. I'm a mother of 2 girls a 5 yr old and a 15 month old (who is still nursing) I am a breastfeeding counselor at WIC and as a breastfeeding mom I would say not to worry about this "habit" My daughter goes to sleep nursing as well. I lay her in her bed once she is asleep and in the middle of the night she gets in bed with me and nurses herself back to sleep. They are only this little for a short amount of time and before we know it they don't need us to rock them to sleep or nurse them or even sleep with them. Take advantage of this time and don't take it for granted. Enjoy your baby needing/wanting you and nurse her every chance you get/she wants. Because speaking from experience...there will come a day when she won't want to nurse and you will want her to and then you realize how precious that time is and how great that bonding moment is. The older they get the less time they want to nurse. comfort her and let her know you are there to meet her needs.I hope this brings some comfort to you.
Best wishes,
D.

I made the same mistake with my daughter. However, it got to the point that I would nurse her to sleep then lay her in her crib and she would wake up. I was her pasafier (sp). The only way I knew to break it was to just let her cry herself to sleep. It took 1.5 hours the first time. I cried the entire time. It was very painful for me. The next time she only cried 45 minutes and the next time even less.

It's hard and I don't have any other solution.

Why worry about this "bad habit"? I nursed my daughter to sleep for ages. She eventually grew out of the need to nurse to sleep (she is 20 months old now and daddy puts her to bed). They are babies for such a short time, I say take advantage of whatever is working for you and your family. I've had to learn to ignore what many parents say and just follow my instincts and am so much happier now! Lots of babies nurse to sleep - it is comforting and great nutritionally! Good luck whatever your choices may be!

Enjoy. My third and last has decided she is finished nursing at 14m. This phase will be over before you know it so nurse, sleep and enjoy.

I say do what works. I always heard that my kids would never be able to put themselves to sleep and would always have bad sleep habits because I nursed/rocked/held them until they were asleep. My kiddos are now 6 & 12 and go to sleep in their own beds every night. Our babies grow up way too fast. I say let them be little and need us as long as we can ... no reason to make them grow up too fast.

Enjoy your baby!!!

I'm not sure if you have thought of possibly weening from breast to bottle, this is what I had done with my 6 year old daughter and it worked well. This way you are still giving the breast milk for breakfast and at night for bed time. If you do this for about a week and gradually transition to formula, this may help. best of luck!
D.

Have you started her on a bottle yet or are you still just nursing? My doctor always recommended trying to keep my son awake when I was nursing him, but that didn't always work. Have you tried starting her on a bedtime routine? That might help. Like a feeding, bath, book, etc. Then she will get used to the routine instead of just getting full and sleepy. Hope this helps! :)

If it doesn't bother you I wouldn't worry about it. If it bothers you maybe in another 2 or 3 months plan on putting her to sleep in her crib while still awake. Start a routine when you do this of some sort. For example, bath, story, nurse, then tell her that you are going to put her to bed to sleep. Then calmly, with a smile on your face, (as to not betray the way your feel inside as she starts to wale and give you that sad look (we did this just a month or so ago with dd)). She may cry for an hour. You can go back and check on her, talk to her, but don't pick her up. (Going back in made things worse with my daughter though) The next night she'll probably cry less and so on for the next few nights. My daughter still cries for about 1 min. when I first lay her down. Use your best Mommy judgement on this. She may not be ready in 2-3 more months or she may be ready earlier. Good luck.

Also, to let you know I still nurse dd to sleep for her naps. I love it and so does she!

For what its worth, I don't see it as a bad habit. I did similar things with my son when we were still nursing. At 8 months he was nursing all the time, on demand, and he was growing well and very healthy. Since I was a SAHM and could set my own schedule I had no problem with this although he was my only child. I found that just following my own instincts and his lead was the easiest for everyone. I didn't listen to the books or other people who weren't raising MY child.

I know I'm a lot more of a crunchy hippie dippy granola mom than most are these days but it worked for us, he was happy, I was happy and it was one less thing to stress about. Motherhood has enough stresses than to add more.

I went through this with my older son when he was that age and now I'm going through it again with my second boy (now 7 mos). This time around it's not as troubling to me, mainly b/c when I look back at the issue with my older son, it all worked itself out in the blink of an eye. I completely agree about the father helping out. I did not feel comfortable with any of the cry-it-out books I read. BEST BOOK ON THE SUBJECT IS: The No-Cry Sleep Solution. I highly recommend it.

Best of luck to you :-)
M.

I agree with others that you have to do what is right for you and your baby, but I am in a similar situation. I have a 21 month old and a 6 month old plus I work full time as a high school teacher. Our 6 mo old was falling asleep with his last bottle or we were having to rock him/walk him to sleep. He was then waking every 2 hours or so and we were up all night long. I don't know if once you get your baby to sleep if she stays asleep but ours does not. A good friend introducted me to The Sleep Sense program. There are LOTS of books out there but there is a good online program. I did print mine out at Kinkos though so I didn't have to have my comptuer on to read it. You might want to check it out http://www.sleepsense.net/ - it is more than just buying a book in the store but you get ALOT more with it. We just started on Friday night. We do have to let him "cry it out" but we go in and reassure him and follow the plan. Friday night it took 70 minutes, Saturday night it took 50 minutes and then 30 minutes in the middle of the night. We are keeping him awake at his last bottle (I'm not bf anymore). She also gives a stay in the room plan if you aren't comfortable with "Crying it out" and leaving the room; however you still have to let the baby cry. It is hard but I'm a believer that it works. I know not everyone can handle the crying it out so you'll have to decide that yourself but I can tell you that we are doing good and he is happy happy in the morning after sleeping all night. She also gives nap recommendations and solutions. Good luck!!!

What could possibly be wrong with nursing her to sleep?? If it makes her happy, content, secure, and calm enough to go to sleep, then I would keep doing it!! And take time to enjoy it yourself, because it will be gone befor you know it. This is a precious thing that only the two of you can share.
C. M

How about if you nursed her in preparation for sleep, but then put her to bed awake, after you guys have had your time together, she has a warm, full tummy to sleep on, and she can then also learn to self-soothe so that if she wakes up in the night she has learned how to get herself back to sleep without you being there as her pacifier? She will probably put up a bit of a fight in the beginning because youare changing her routine, but then she will learn that she can soothe herself, and that you will be there when she wakes in the morning and everything will be okay. I nursed my son until he was a yera and a half, and toward the end it was just the night time "snack" before bed time, but he always went to bed awake and slept great.

H.,
Just allow yourself this moment. NOTHING is as precious as that time when it's nothing but you and the baby and you realize that you have sent your little one off to sleep fully nourished and protected. It is all over so quickly and soon they'll be off to school. No one knows on the first day of kindergarten which babies fell asleep at the breast and which ones did not - but the memories you will have will last your lifetime.

At this point its probably going to take alot of work to break her of this....and alot of tears and time away from your 3 year old! At 8 months I would just be happy you can get her to sleep at all!!!

I did the same thing, and realized that I was just going to have to go with it. It became the only way that my daughter would go to sleep! I fed her until she was 19 months old!! At that point, I just had to let her cry...it was hard, but she eventually forgot about the breast. (she is now 21 months) The next time around, I don't plan to nurse as long....but I can't say that I won't do the same thing.
Hang in there! It may take a little crying if you try to break from this habit...but it only took about 4 days.

If you've tried everything else, do what works and try again later. My son was similar. It wasn't until he was a bit older that he would fall asleep without nursing. If it's not bothering you, don't worry about it. There are far far worse habits.

I nursed 2 of my 3 children to sleep, and go figure, no harm done. They are both healthy,smart,and happy. Just do what feels right for you. There is really no right or wrong in most cases.

I had great success while nursing both of my girls and now it has worked for my baby grandaughter who is 4 monts old tomorrow. Pacifiers! Mams seem to work the best but you'll have to discover the one she'll take.....when done nursing just give it to her and still hold her for a few minutes so she's still close to you. It may take awhile for her to accept them and you'll have to buy an assortment until you find the "one" she likes, babies are particular usually. Many people are adverse to them, afraid they'll have to break them of the "habit" but I've found that it's just a self soothing action that is good to teach a baby.....I assure you, neither of my girls had a problem giving them up. It may take awhile also since you didn't introduce them from birth.....Good Luck to you!

She is now spoiled to this routine at 8 mos. If you want to break it, you will have to be willing to put up with her resisting (by crying). It might take a few days. If you know she is full and dry and nothing else is the matter, I'd say, "go for it". You might have to go somewhere you can't hear the crying for about 15-20 min. I't s worth a try. I had to do this with my daughter and I would go outside for a bit and she was asleep after 15-20 min.
I am a mother of 7 and grandmother of 12. B.

Bad advice, but I always did whatever worked! My daughter didn't go to sleep on her own until she was over a year but my son (second child) actually did much better. I just always needed them to go to sleep and honestly did whatever worked!
Good luck, A.

You know what, H.. I honestly don't think it is a bad habit. I nursed my second baby girl for 14 mos and rocked her every time it was nap time and bed time and the bond we share is like no other. She didn't have a pacifier, I was her pacifier. In the end, it actually got to be, I was nursing her for me, because I didn't want to stop, I loved it!! But, I also didn't want her raising my shirt asking for it either. When it was time to stop, I used the Farmers Almanac and I broke her in the first night feeding. She is 7 now and our bond, well you just can't break it!!! She loves her momma!! Keep what is making that sweet girl happy, it doesn't last long at all. It just flies by!! One more thing, she has always slept like a rock and doesn't wake up through the night at all!!

I would just do what works. These days with an infant are so precious and fleeting. Just enjoy making the memories with her!

You can read my profile to see why I feel as strongly about this as I do...www.GoodHealthMadeSimple.com/M.

Only God knows how much time we are to have with our little ones. We need to cherish it while we can!

Blessings,

M.

I would nurse my baby to sleep and then sneak a pacifier in her mouth once she fell asleep. We co slept so it didn't really cause a problem. When she moved to her own bed i started giving her a bottle.

I did this with my 15 year old son and it took him forever to be able to get himself to sleep--he still doesn't sleep well. If I could do it again, I would put him to bed AWAKE to have him learn to soothe himself to sleep. It will be a week or so to break the habit but I would do it sooner rather than later. There is lots of research that says that very early sleeping patterns effect sleeping patterns throughout life. good luck!

I nursed both my children to sleep till they were over a year old. It took some adjustment, but now they are both great sleepers. Don't worry about it.

Hi, H.. I was so encouraged to see the number of responses that echo my sentiments. I say that if you are okay with it then not to worry about it. I nursed my 4 year old to sleep until she was about 18 months old and am currently still nursing my 16 month old to sleep. It works for our family, and I cherish the memories I have of the special time I had with my four year old and am savoring the moments with my 16 month old. They grow so quickly, so I say if you're not having any problems with it then continue doing what works for your little one.

In my opinion, do what works. I nursed my daughter for almost 13 months and i was always glad to still be nursing her, b/c I could get her easily to sleep and back to sleep if she ever woke up. She's now 20 months old and she's a great sleeper. I rock her back to sleep now the rare times she wakes up. She was easy to wean and I never had any negative reprecussions that I can tell! (I went out of town the weekend I was ready to be done nursing her.)
Probably more info than you wanted... but I think you just be happy to get her to sleep if it works for you!

Not a bad habit..don't worry! Just want to make sure you break it before it gets to be a huge habit she expects, and before it causes any problems with teeth, etc. However, when you are tired and want the kiddo to go to bed, sometimes we all do whatever works!!! Just know she won't do it forever, enjoy it for the moment, but maybe start breaking it before she turns one. Hope this helps!

In raising my children (2 yr and 1 yr), I always do what feels right for that child. Although it may inconvenience me, I find that it helps foster the personality and happiness of my child. Good luck!

A.

I'm not one for sticking a pacifyer in a baby's mouth when they are content, but when trying to get them to sleep this REALLY helps sometimes. At first try holding the baby close like when you nurse, an then wean it to just the pacifyer. And a little bit of crying really doesn't hurt, unless it lasts too long.

H.,

I did the same thing with my daughter when she was a baby. This went on for a long time and it allowed everyone to get some sleep while making her feel comforted.

Well . . . today she is a beautiful 16 (almost 17) year old girl who loves school, makes good grades, has a really nice group of friends, and seems to prefer hanging out at home and shopping with me to running all over town with a group of kids with nothing to do. I say, make that baby happy, get some sleep, and the benefits will be there for years to come.

H.,
I see nothing wrong with what your doing. I have a 11 year old adopted son that I adopted at age 6. He came from an abusive childhood and lacked that mother/child bond that he should have recieved in his first couple of years. I also have a 6 year old daughter who I nursed until she was a year and a half. I have no regrets for nursing her so long, but there is a world of difference between my children. My daughter has more confidence in herself and more at peace than my son is. The trust factor is still an issue with my son. I am still trying to win his full trust and don't know if I will ever accomplish that considering what his birth parents put him through. So my advice to you is to enjoy the closeness with your child. It will benefit her. YOu may try using a pacifire to start weining her, but I wouldn't worry about that until later on. She is still very young yet.
Good luck and God Bless,
Sheril

Hi H. -
I nursed my boy until he was 14 months (and even then I wasn't ready to stop, but my husband was very ready to have me back). Granted, he didn't sleep through the night until he was weaned - so that was tough. But in all honesty, I would love to have that time back - even thought I was exhausted. I nursed him to sleep for night and naps. It was our special time together - and even when he woke up in the middle of the night, that time was precious as well.
I say do what your heart tells you, not what everyone else, or a doctor recommends. Just remember, that this time is so short lived.
S.

Well, it definitely won't be easy to break and it's going to take a lot of patience. First, I would set a certain time limit on how long you will let her nurse until she goes to sleep. Then, cut back slowly until you don't need to nurse her to sleep.

The only other option, is to just cut her off cold turkey. You will just have to endure the "fight" and the crying.

Whatever you decide, it will not be a cake walk.

Good luck!

Not a bad habit at all. When children feel loved and comforted, they can use their brain power for growing and learning.

I used to do that (except with a bottle), but I let my boys cry it out a couple of times, and now they go down great no matter what. I have twins, almost 8 months old as well, and I let them cry it out to a degree at night, and one of them will cry for about two minutes maybe. Every once in a while during the night one of them will wake up and I'll have to go in there and rock them until they get really drowsy, give them another bottle and some Tylenol if necessary.

I'm a single mom, so its hard to handle putting both of them down together if they both want to cry, but my doctor said it will help alot in the long run and so far I'm seeing great results. But I chose to give them baths later at night, about 45 minutes before bed time and that seems to help also. As long as you're on a predictable schedule I'm sure your little girl will do just fine. =)

I wouldn't worry at 8 months. She will wean in due time. Enjoy! (In answer to your question, do what works! I learned that with my second child. SLEEP MATTERS! LOL)

I know you've already gotten a lot of responses, but what worked for us with my first (a boy) was to nurse him before bed and keep him awake, then let my HUSBAND put him to bed. Kids respond a LOT different to different parents, and will take change from dad a lot better than change from mom, esp. with things they associate with nursing. I'm going thru this with my 8 1/2 mo. daughter right now because no matter how I get her to sleep, she wakes up and cries once we put her in bed. She does fine with rocking to sleep while I sing to her instead of nurse her, but she doesn't want to go to sleep in bed while I sing & pat her back. With 2 kids, and the sleep deprivation I'm experincing from them both getting me up anywhere from 2-4 times a night, keeping me up late, waking me up early and not letting me get a nap, this is the best solution for me - getting her to fall asleep in her crib. Good luck.