Being Six Is Hard Isn't It?

I taught mine to speak up for herself first, and that while she should never throw the first punch, that if someone laid hands on her, then all bets were off.
And I don't see why the rules should be any different based on sex.

I think your son did well, and so did you. He stood up for himself, you weren't hovering over him or holding his hand as he played, but you were nearby. You didn't explode on the other kids, you simply spoke up firmly, as soon you realized that your son needed a little support. He spoke up in a civilized way, and you stepped in after evaluating the situation.

The only thing I would suggest you change is the word "confrontation". To me, confrontation is not the same thing as speaking up for oneself. I have a friend who hired a painter, and there were several problems with the painter's job performance. My friend told me she hated the idea of talking to the painter about the mess he was making, and some of the places he was missing. She said "I don't like confrontation". I told her that speaking up to someone you've hired about a sub-par performance, in a decent, civil, respectful manner is not confrontation. That's standing up for yourself and requiring certain reasonable things of a person whom you've hired.

Confrontation, to me, is what the boys did to your son. They confronted him and tried to push him. He could have been injured, or been denied the right to play on a public playground. What he did was tell them to stop their bullying actions and defend himself appropriately.

I agree with Dana K's helpful advice.

It's important to teach our kids to not react with anger, and to have a good plan for dealing with a difficult situation. It can be a code word, or a script of sorts to follow. That gives them security.

I think you did just fine. A 6 year old cannot realistically stand up to three 10 year olds and he should know you have his back. It sounds like he was yelling 'quit' at the kids showing he was trying to stand up for himself. You should continue to encourage him to use his words. Teaching him to hit back is a bad idea. Is that how you will want him to deal with his problems in the future? Will you want him to hit little kids as well as bigger kids? Plus hitting (no matter who started it) will be a problem for him at school. At my son's school they learned to tell the offending child to stop, move away from the child, move towards an adult and then seek an adult's help (in that order). Don't see what would involve sexism in this situation.

I think you did just fine. Just remember, at any age, there will be younger kids who appear to be "babies", and there will be bigger kids too. Your kiddo was in a tough spot.

You both did fine.

I suggest you think about how you want your child to handle confrontation, and then do some role play with him. Do you want him to walk away from conflict? Do you want him to stand up to more aggressive kids? How do you think a person should react if called a name? If someone takes a person's possessions? If someone is physical (pushes, hits, kicks, etc)?

There are no right or wrong answers to these questions, and your child will encounter all of these things in elementary school. Teach him how to respond now, so that's he's prepared when it happens. Because how your child handles conflict (eg, walking away vs giving what he's getting) is less important than his attitude about handling conflict - which you want to be with confidence.

For us, this kind of stuff started in daycare, so we've done role-playing for all the above scenarios.

BTW, I think he did just fine by yelling "Quit" at them. Looking bullies in the eye and telling them to cut it out is a really important skill for a kid to have. Praise him for that, and let him practice doing it with you.

I think you did well, waiting for him to seem to need help and then stepping in at the moment. Sometimes our little guys and gals do need help, and sometimes they don't. Teach him to use his words and then ask for help if he needs it.

Well - trust your mom instinct. If I saw any of my kids about to get shoved by three kids, I'm sure I'd intervene. What's the alternative right? Watch him get shoved off the slide? Not cool.

I let mine handle it as much as possible. I observe. Somehow mine figured it out without us really discussing it at length. They go over this in school so much these days - bullying, etc. This sounds more like just rough play, but same principle - the child tells them to back off (which he did - great for him), and then again if kids don't back off - then they should alert someone - especially if it's three kids to one.

Mine can hit/have hit back on occasion. You will get a call from the school. In our case, my child was defending a friend who was getting beat up. And yes, I am glad my kids can do that. I certainly didn't encourage them but it's a relief to know that they can. But you have to watch it - you don't want your child pushing/shoving so it's a hard one to explain. They stuck to the tell to back off - go tell adult - when they were little.

Good luck :)

you sound like a sensible sort. i'd let him handle it on his own, as you do, but if you can see that bigger boys are dominating and intimidating him, then yeah, a quiet change of venue seems perfectly appropriate.
and then later when everything is calm, in a low-key fashion run through some possible scenarios and coping techniques.
yelling 'quit' and having mom check is a perfectly good coping technique for small 6 year old on the playground with bigger rougher boys.
khairete
S.

Give your kid a chance to deal with situations himself, and if you can tell that he needs help, you can step in and calmly fix the situation.

If kids are picking on your son, and he's unable to handle it, then yes you should step in.

You know, kindergarten is real school. It's not just fun and games in kindergarten; as a parent you should know that.

Also, this situation felly isn't funny, you know. Being sexist in't funny.

Try enrolling your son in some martial arts classes to build up his self esteem.

I would suggest some parenting classes to learn some parenting skills. I think this is beyond our help.