Beginning Daycare for the First Time.

WOW! What a huge change for everyone! I understand the concern, my 3 year old doesn't even want me to leave him wiht his dad. Maybe if you talk up the other kids and fun things they can do it might ease his concern. Also, you might see if the 2 of you can come observe his class so he gets used to how things will be. That is about all the advice I have, sorry. good luck!

Leaving them is hard, especially when they are upset about it. Part of your job as a parent is to prepare them to be in the world -- that means going places without you.

The best advice I got was when I put my son in MDO for the first time. Be positive about it to him. Your worries are transmitted to him -- they pick up on our moods. Research your childcare and make sure you have a quality place. Go ahead of time and do a "meet the teacher." Read the book "The Kissing Hand." Get the song "My Mommy Comes Back." Take him to the daycare. Be positive, hand him over to the teacher, tell him good-bye and leave. Do not linger. Do not come back in the room. Do not hesitate.

The teachers are experienced with this. They know how to distract him, how to comfort him, how to love him. Call the daycare in about 1/2 hour and get a report on him. They should be willing to go and look in and let you know how he is doing.

He will probably cry every morning for a while. My son cried when I dropped him off. One day I stayed to help him transition and he looked at me like I was nuts. Apparently, crying was just part of his adjustment routine. He needed to have a good cry and then he would be over it and have a fun day. The longer I stayed, the more it prolonged the crying.

I have now been through putting two kids in MDO/preschool and have become a preschool/MDO teacher myself. As a teacher, I prefer that you have a positive attitude about the school and me, that you give me your child and let me do my job and you go and do yours. We will love your child and comfort him and enjoy him and he will be happy to see you at the end of the day.

Speaking of end of the day, don't be surprised if he is happy and playing when you arrive, then bursts into tears when he sees you. Sometimes seeing Mom makes them remember that they were upset and they need to let it out some more. That does not mean he was crying all day. Hug him, love him and tell him how proud you are of him.

Make sure that when you discuss the daycare you do it only in a positive way. Tell him how much fun he'll have, how many new friends he'll make, etc. And definitely see if you can visit with him once or twice before he starts going there full time. That will help him become acclimated to the new surroundings.

I am a daycare teacher. I've been doing this for 10 years. He will cry when you leave him, I've no doubt about that. But please, for his sake and yours, keep your goodbyes short and sweet. A long, drawn out, dramatic goodbye will be harder for both of you. You should create a morning routine. That will make a huge difference. Try implementing the book "The Kissing Hand."

Maybe there is a window in his classroom you can stop by and peek in to see how he's doing as you leave? If not, you can always call the daycare when you get to work to see how he is. Good luck to you!

Won't he be starting Kindergarden in August anyways? It would be really good to give him this month to adjust, or it could be disruptive to his education when the school year starts.

Good Luck!
E.

T.,

Maybe try a reward system like a chart. For everday he is a big boy he will get a star, or some sort of sticker on a the chart. At the end of the week, allow him to pick what ya'll are going to have for dinner or allow him to pick out a few toys at the dollar store. If you don't like the stickers try fake money and at the end of the week allow him to "cash" them in! Good luck to ya! He will be okay. Kids are SMART and they KNOW what pulls at our heart strings!

Eliyah

It will be hard but you really need to do this for both of you.I had a time also that was like this and I had to physicaly pull his hands off the floor mat.Which he was crying the whole time but I knew we both need this.He will adjust and it will be hard at first but you no he will soon be starting kindergarten so now is probly a good time.

Can he pick out a backpack or something that is just for school that he can look forward to using on his first day? The advice from Pamela is very good as well. You may also make a photo book with family pics, include your pets so he can look at it and maybe share it as he makes friends. Kids love to share pictures, so that may help too.

One thing I always do (as a teacher) is allow the parent to call to check in. When you do say bye, give a kiss, and leave then know that you can always call to check in with the teacher. You can also ask the teacher to call you once he is calmed down...don't be surprised if it is before you leave the parking lot though. :-)

You need to be positive and excited about both of your new adventures and also allow him to share his concerns with you, sometimes the unknown gets blown out of proportion. HE needs to know this is a huge change for you too and you two will do it together.

I am a former day care teacher. I hope you will at least consider some of my ideas.

Is there a way that you can visit the day care with your son a day or two this week just to get him used to it while you are still with him? About 20 or 30 minutes each time is usually good (for you to visit with the teacher and let him meet some of the other kids). A good time is usually toward the end of playground time so you can ease him in with the kids and then go to the room WITH the others so he won't feel so awkward going into the room all by himself with everyone looking at him in the doorway. (Did that make sense?)

On the first few days, make your good-byes quick (too long and YOU will cry along with him). Just expect him to cry, but reassure him that he will have fun and you will be back to pick him up before he knows it.

That's what I had to do. When I was a block away after leaving my first one for the first time, I remember saying to myself, "I did it." I let out a sigh of relief. It was easier each day.

It is actually GOOD for kids to develop a sense of trust of other adults. It lets him understand that he is safe even without you right there. It also allows him to trust YOU more because you are leaving AND coming back just like you promise.

I hope this helps. Just know you are not the only one to have to leave your child. You are not alone in feeling the way you do.

Blessings for you in the coming week.

P. <><

My friend just got the book "love you all day long" for her daughter. It is about them knowing you love them even when you aren't together. Might be good for him to read.

It is hard, I think harder on the parent to leave your child in daycare. But he will be fine, and you will see that he will probably blossom with all the new things he will learn.

Good luck to you.

Most important- give your son some time to adjust.

I have two boys myself and he may throw a big fit at the beginning, but that is mostly for you. As for me it tears my heart out to hear my boys cry out for me but I have learned that it is just a show for me. I have waited outside where they can't see me and once they realize I am not coming back I can hear them start playing.( Don't do this the first week or you might cave and go in to see him and then when you leave agian it just starts the process all over.) I have come in before they notice me and they are having a grand time. My youngest is two and has been at this new daycare for about a month, he only recently stopped with the fussing when I leave.
So steel yourself for the tears but until he goes and sees for himself how fun it can be he will be upset.
You can do it! Also feel free to call to check on your breaks if you need to. After a few days you won't feel the need.