Preschool starts after Labor Day. Two days a week, half days. I'm excited for my daughter, but in my gut I know that she is going to have a hard time with it. We've been trying to prep her by telling her about it, going school shopping, filling up her backpack, etc. However, she's never been in a daycare setting and only the grandmas have babysat. She's a social kid at the park or other public settings, but she always knows that we are there with her. We've done ECFE classes before, and she loves it...but if I ever have to leave the room she's a wreck! I'm not so much worried about HER or ME, I'm more worried about the teacher and the other kids having to see/hear her cry each time. I can guarantee that she'll cry when I drop her off.
Has anyone else dealt with this? Her poor teacher.....
In & Out, Mom! The quicker you do this, the quicker the teacher can do her job. & don't let her see you sweat....be perky & upbeat...& then leave.
I wish you Peace!
Most kids are going to cry and whine. No child goes to preschool perfectly behaved without any social or separation/attachment issues.The teacher is trained for dealing with that and your daughter may take a few weeks to adjust, or she may even be fine after a few days. The more anxiety and fear you show, the more anxiety and fear your daughter will have. Also, the more you linger when she cries, the worse it is going to be. Drop her off, give her a quick kiss and cuddle and say, "I'll be back a little after lunch, have fun!" Then turn and go. The teacher can calm her quickly once you leave, often they calm themselves down on their own within just a few minutes. But if you stay, it will prolong the madness.
Every preschool teacher in the world has dealt with this - your child is not the first to have a hard time separating from mom and she won't be the last. Discuss with your concerns with the teacher and give her a heads up - he/she should be able to manage your daughter, since this is normal and they deal with it all the time. Most kids stop crying within 5 minutes of Mom leaving and end up being fine. I did 3 year old preschool with my daughter last year and while she was not one of the ones who would cry, there were a few others that did, and it was really touching to see how the teacher tried to help her feel welcome and how the other kids often jumped in to show her some support. Stay upbeat and positive, and reassure her that you will be back when the day is done - but don't drag it out and don't let her see you getting upset and crying too. Keep it short, simple and sweet. She'll be fine.
I was in the same situation last week. My son (almost 4) started preschool on August 23. He goes T/TH for half-days, and I too had never left him in daycare, and he's never had a babysitter. Today was the third day I left him crying because he wanted me to stay with him. He is always happy and perky when I pick him up and tells me what a great day he had.
It is harder for us than it is for them in my opinion (or at least for me!), and I do agree that leaving rapidly with a smile on your face is the best way to handle it. His preschool teacher told me he never cries for more than 1-2 minutes, and they've definitely seen it all. Preschool teachers are saints in my book. I have never noticed his classmates even paying attention, so I don't think that is much of an issue. I still hate to see him cry, but I'm hoping it will subside in the next few weeks and all will be well.
Good luck!
First, it is going to be hard, but she'll be fine. I agree with "in and out!" Don't linger. The best thing that you can do is let her know that you trust the teachers by saying (literally and through your actions) "I know you're sad, and we will miss each other, but these are good people who will take good care of you until I come back." And the teachers are prepared for this, they have strategies to deal with this, it happens all the time. If you have a conference before school starts, you can mention that you're anticipating a tough goodbye, and they can tell you what will help them the most in terms of making the transition as smooth as possible. It will be rough for the first few days, but your daughter will figure it out, and will be building independence and resilience.
Also, two great books to read that helped my (formerly clingy) oldest:
http://www.amazon.com/My-First-Day-Nursery-School/dp/1582...
http://www.amazon.com/Love-You-All-Day-Long/dp/0060502789...
I had to look long and hard to find "going to school" books that ended with coming home to your mom (most end with "being at school", which made my oldest kind of hysterical.) These two books are great. Avoid things like "This Kissing Hand" and "Stella Luna" which are pretty much all about "NOT BEING WITH YOUR MOM!!!"
Good luck, take a deep breath, and know that she's going to thrive.
I have stayed at home since our first son was born so our children have never been in a daycare setting either. When our first son went to school, the first week was he** for us. He would cry, throw fits, etc. But the teacher advised us if we just leave, he would calm down. He was having great days after we left... it was just a way of manipulation for him! It was about a week into it and he was perfectly fine everyday after that he knew I wouldn't stay just because he was upset!
Good luck!!
I taught pre-k for many years. Be assured that we can handle it. Your daughter will not be the first one to cry at drop off. I would call ahead and let the teacher know that you are expecting an issue. She can give you a game plan. It may take a few days - even weeks - but I promise you it will get better. And in my experience, the kid always stops faster if they know that mom always comes back after school and NOT before. Be consistent and it will help her adjust faster. Also make sure that you are not projecting any anxiety - treat her like she can handle it, and she will be more likely to handle it. Treat her like this is a huge scary deal - and it will be. But like I said, give the teacher a heads up and she will give you some specific instructions for how you guys can work as a team to make preschool positive and fun for your daughter.
She's gonna be fine.
The Teachers deal with this ALL the time, and it is nothing new to the Teachers.
She will or may cry.
Other kids will too.
It is NOT only your child.
Again, TEACHERS are used to this.
Don't make it a big deal.
She will be fine.
You will be fine.
When I dropped my kids off at Preschool I told them "Mommy is going to run errands and do chores. I'll see you later..." And it was fine... because, then they KNEW what Mommy was doing and they saw me do this everyday... and they KNOW it is my routine. They knew it was true.
It was no big deal then.
