Hi,
I am hoping some of you have a tried-and-true method of getting your toddlers to bed at night in under a half hour! My 2 1/2 yr old has been getting worse and worse at bedtime, and it's taking us longer and longer to get him down. The worst part is that he still gets up at the same time in the morning no matter how late he falls asleep, so I also worry that he's not getting enough sleep.
This has been a problem for the last month or so, since he figured out how to climb out of the crib. We finally have him in a bed for safety reasons, and he'll stay in it all night once he's asleep. We have a whole routine that includes brushing teeth and reading a book that we've been doing since he was at least a year old. Lately, if he's not 100% asleep when we lay him down for bed, he cries and follows us out of the room. We put him back in, and he cries and follows us out again. He doesn't want a nightlight. He'll get out whether the door is opened or closed. I don't think a baby gate in the doorway would do much good, either. A day last week, bedtime began at 9pm, and three hours later (two of which he spent throwing a temper tantrum) he finally went to sleep.
He spent the night at my mother-in-law's a couple weekends ago, and she would either lay on the floor in his room until he was asleep or put him in her bed with her. We don't want to start either of those habits (and with a newborn, I can't spend much time lying on my son's bedroom floor!). My husband had to lay in Nick's bed with him for almost 2 hours last night before he was finally able to come back into our bed without Nick following him.
He goes down relatively easily at naptime, as long as his sister is not crying. When she is, I think he's intentionally difficult because he knows I am putting him down to turn my attention on her, and he doesn't like that. He has his dad's undivided attention at night, and I am usually feeding the baby so she's quiet as well. Please help!! We're going crazy here :)
I was having a really hard time with this too and instituted a sticker reward every naptime and night time he stayed in bed and once he got 10 stickers he could do something special or get a matchbox car...worked for me!
use supper nanny's jo's proven technique....took persistance but my then 2 yr old "got" it after 2 1/2 weeks
you take him back to bed the first time saying ok no more hugs kisses and thats it
every time there after you do not speak to your child or make eye contact you just put him back to bed...yes it is exhausting yes it makes you wnt to scream but YES you will see results...the first night we did hte get out of bed for 3 hours! the second night it was 15 min better then third night was back to 3 hours of this the 4th night 2 hours then it just got better and better then my son understood what bedtime was all about. yes there will be times when he will "test" you and still get out of bed if he does you just put him back in,
consistance and not loosing your temper and staying quiet with the no eye contact is the key......
Hi A.,
I am sorry to share this but...My daughter also did the similiar thing. We finally tried eliminating her only nap (1pm). She now goes to bed between 7:30-8. Sleeps until her usual wakeup time 7-7:30. I really miss those afternoons of naps, but I couldn't handle the in/out of bed and staying up until 10 or 11pm.
My daughter is now 3. (We did this at about 2 1/2)
Good Luck!
I was in the same boat as you a year ago. I found with my now 3 1/2 year old that at about 2 1/2 he just out grew naps. He went down really easily at night if he didn't have one. We just made bed time earlier, 7:30 or 8p.m rather then 9 or 9:30. Now if he has a nap in the car or whatever I just adjust his bedtime and life is much easier. I know you're thinking you need you're time while he naps and I agree, I just have him play in is room with the door closed for 30-45 minutes, sometime longer if he's having fun. That way I get some me time in the afternoon still. It works out great since we no longer have the fits at bedtime and we get some mom and dad time after the kids were down. I suggest getting a cool new toy that is just for in his room, we got the Diego Rescue Center and a few accesories, it works great. Good Luck!
Hi A.,
I agree with Annete. My son was doing the same as your son at about the same age. When he gets up the first time tell him goodnight again and after that don't say another word to him. Put him back in his bed and leave. Try not to get frusterated with him. He is looking to get any attention from you and if he doesn't get it he will go to bed. The first night we did this my son got up 56 times. My husband and I kept taking turns putting him to bed so that we didn't react to him. The second night it was only 12 times and the third night he went right to sleep. He is 3 and a half now and goes to bed with no problems. Good luck and hang in there.
Chris
Well I just went through this with my 2 year old, he also recently just started sleeping in a toddler bed. I know you said you did not want to use a baby gate in the door but that is what I did, the first night it took about 40 minutes and then he just layed down and went to bed. Now he has been going right to bed but if he gets up we put the gate up and it only takes a few minutes for him to lay down in bed and go to sleep. Once I put him in there I dont go in there and I try to keep the house relativly quiet,which is not easy with 2 other kids. Best of luck to you, I know this can be frustrating, I hope you find something that works with both you and your son.
Is it possible that you are putting him too bed too early (not tired enough) or too late (too tired)? What works best for us is a short routine. Brush teeth, story and bed. I cuddle with him until he falls asleep-- usually 20 minutes (although I'm pregnant and usually fall asleep too!). He generally sleeps all through the night. Sometimes they just need a little cuddling at night-- even though they are getting bigger-- they are still babies too.
Boy, does that sound familiar. My son is a little over 2 1/2 and he is finally getting much better about bedtime. Not perfect but much better. I agree with the other response. We put him down and the first time I tell him you have to be a big boy and stay in bed, give him one more kiss and leave the room. The next time he would get out I would pick him up and put him right back in bed and say nothing. Some nights we would do this many times, and yes it was very frustating. After a couple of weeks it started getting better and now it is much better. Most nights he only gets out of the bed one time. I do think it was about the attention for him, so when he stopped getting it he stopped getting out of bed.
Good Luck
A.
I have a similar problem with my daughter who turns three in May. What seemed to work the best is if I turn off all the lights in the house before we go in to read to her. Then I give her a picture of her dad and I that we keep on her dresser so we always know where it is. This way, she doesn't feel like she is missing out on something that is going on with the rest of the house and she still feels like mom and dad are in the room with her. Also, you need to make sure you are consistant with how you handle it when he does get out of bed. Don't talk to him or reprimand him, just pick him up, kiss him on the head, and put him in the bed. It will be teadious for the first week or so, but he will get the idea that you are not going to interact with him so he might as well stay in bed.
Hi A.. We have a 2 yr old, and have gone through times when he seemed more difficult to get to bed, usually it was due to teething of molars. But we had one just about 4 months ago and I just switched up the bedtime routine a little. I added a song with some tickling at certain parts in the song and it seemed to do the trick. It may or may not work, but it's pretty simple to try. I'm assuming he gets a bath before bed too, cause that kinda starts the bedtime routine for us. Ane we use a baby gate too.
Also, it may be related to the new baby. He could be acting out. My son was 16 mos when my daughter was born, and I recall (it's all a blur really) he gave us problems at bedtime. He was also teething at the time so I assumed that was the reason, but in retrospect, it was most likely a combo of both. If your son shows a little bit of acting out during the day, I'm guessing the nightime drama is related to the new baby. If that is the case I can only advise to try to give him as much one on one attention as possible throughout the day.
I wish you luck, with a 3 month old too, it's gotta be rough.
I have a 2 1/2 year old boy, too. He doesn't like to go to bed either because he's busy all the time, but we insist and make it happen. We start with a heads up to let him know it's coming, then when it's time, pick him up, hugs, kisses, cuddles, ask if he wants us to sing a song or read a short story, then lay him down. ALL smiles. Cover him up and walk out. Usually he gets up at least once almost right away. One of us will scoop him up say "it's bedtime, sweetie", lay him down, cover him up and walk out. (Don't look back). If he comes out anymore after that, we take turns, scoop him up lay him in his bed and walk out. NO Words. The first couple nights we did this method, it lasted a couple hours, so don't give up. After only a couple nights, MAYBE two, he got the idea and stayed in bed. Like I said, he tries usually once a night to get up now, but that's it. If he starts to get off track after an unusual schedule change or something(like spending the night before at Grandma's house) I might have to get a bit tougher. He hates the idea of me putting a gate up in his doorway, ('cause I did that once) so I might say "if you get out of bed one more time, I'll have to put the gate up" and he won't come out after that. Hope this helps! Good Luck.
S.
Hi A.,
We had the exact same nighttime drama going on here with my son when he was the same age as yours (now he's four). He would take forever to put to bed and then even once he was asleep, he'd wake up sometime 3 times and come into our bedroom. Once, my daughter was born, I didn't have the patience or energy to put up with it anymore. What we do that has worked is after my daughter goes to bed, he stays up so we can read, play a game etc. and then it's bedtime, no excuses. We tuck him in, kisses, then lights off & walk out. If he would get up, I just led him back to bed, tuck him in & out I go. It does get frustrating and it took him a while to finally "get it" but it does work. Just be consistent. He's now 4 and does occasionally comes into our room at night. And I just put him back in bed and he'll go back to sleep.
Congrats with the birth of your little girl and I hope you all get some sleep really soon. Let us know what happens.
Hi A.,
Is your son getting enough activity and exercise during the day? Try maybe doing some activities in the evening like taking him to the mall play area or mcdonalds play area. Let him run around. I've found tireing them out works, so when they do lay down to go to sleep they are tired! Just a suggestion, hope it helps!
