I am having this "staying in bed" issue with my daughter. About 6 maonthes ago she started to climb out of her crib so we made the adjustment to her bed to convert it to a toddler bed. For a couple of weeks we would put her to bed..no problems, but since then every night it is a battle. She constantly gets out and we just keep putting her back in. I have tried just closing the door for a bit..now she opens it. I have tried bribery...even cash..doesn't work. I have tried to wear her out playing, adjusting her bed time for later, doesn't work. Sometimes I find myself starting to raise my voice and I get very frustrated. I really need some advise and maybe some useful tactics to try...I would appreciate it.
Thanks to everyone who responded...I tried to utilize it in this situation...even the duct tape (teasing ha) and my solution to this was ultimately letting good ol' Dad take control. My husband and I put her to bed together and he talks with her about staying in bed and if she gets out he will have the talk again usually the 2nd or 3rd time works. When I was having to do it 15 to 20 times. I don't know if he is offering money or a car at 16 but it is working. Thanks again guys....Have a great day. M.
Duct tape???? Only kidding!!! Be patient, stick to a bedtime routine,one that is relaxing and quiet. Warm bath...reading...some snuggling...maybe sing a bedtime song....then when it's time for bed be loving yet firm.
Good luck!
We had this problem with our son when we switched him to a bed. After a long hard haul, we started just putting him back in bed, no talking to him and even trying not to look at him, just put him in bed like it was no big deal. After about a week or so of him not getting any attention with this he stopped getting up. It was hard to pretend not to care, and for the first few nights the getting up was worse, sometimes before we even got out his door he was at our feet, but we kept going and it stopped.
Good Luck
Hi M.,
First, don't worry....this too shall pass LOL ;) But it's no fun when you're in the middle of it!! I have some thoughts for you (my 2 cents!)so take it for what it's worth...
When we transitioned my daughter to a toddler bed, we put a gate on the door but left the door open. Yes, she did get up and play at first, as she was adjusting to the new freedom, but I decided that this was one of those times where I was going to "choose my battles" so to speak.
The gate kept her confined to her room, but having the door open allowed me to be able to still hear what was going on in her room. If I started hearing crashing, banging, etc. that concerned me, then at that point I would go into her room, and pick her up and put her in her bed while telling her "Brianna, it's time for bed now. No playing!" She figured out the old "I need a drink of water" trick, so I made sure to put her to bed with a sippy cup of water after that.
Sometimes she would stand at the gate and call "Mommy", and sometimes (not every time) I would come out into the hall and let her know that I was there, just to reassure her. But not in the sense of responding to her every cry--They will catch on quick to that and have you jumping up and down all evening!
Now most of the time, she just messed around quietly with her toys or books, and ended up going back to the bed on her own at some point and falling asleep. Occasionally, she would end up falling asleep on the floor.
Now, a lot of how your child will react to these things has to do with what they are used to...So, when your daughter was still in the crib was she pretty good at falling asleep on her own? If so, then what you are experiencing now is just a normal transition period where she is exploring her new freedom. Just hang in there, and don't worry about winning every little battle. Make sure there's nothing in her room she can hurt herself on, find a way to keep her confined in there once it's bedtime, and use your judgment about when you need to go into her room and intervene. (If a gate won't work for your situation, there are doorknob guards you can put on the inside handle of her door to keep her from being able to open it. But then I'd want a baby monitor in there so you can still keep an ear on what's going on.)
I would not recommend starting up the habit of laying beside her until she falls asleep. This may solve the battle in the short term, but it also has a big potential to backfire on you. But then that's another topic for another day... LOL ;) I would also not allow her to even have the opportunity of just walking out of her room and going to where you are. The bedtime battle, so to speak, needs to remain in her bedroom!
God bless and best wishes for getting through this rough patch! Feel free to PM me if you need to talk!
You're going to hate this answer but...there is no quick fix for this, only consistancy (sp). I have used Super Nanny's method and it woks...it's just a pain in the butt for awhile. The first time your daughter gets up. take her by the hand and lead her back to bed, calmly saying, "No-no, it's bedtime." The second time she gets up, take her back again but only say, "Bedtime". The third, fourth, fifth, tenth, twentith, millionth time she gets up, you just take her back to bed and DO NOT talk to her. Just put her to bed. You may have to do this for quite a few nights but it is worth it in the long run. She will see, if you do this and follow through, that bedtime is bedtime. Don't bride, beg or threaten. It makes the situation worse, as you've discovered. Stick to your guns and before long, your daughter will be sleeping through the night in her own bed. Good luck and God bless.
Chris H.
I did the same thing. When we bought our new house My 6 year old had trouble going to bed in her new room and wanted to sleep with us. I would put her in bed and she would always end up tapping me with "Can I sleep with you?". I finally would put her to bed and set on the floor by her bed. She would want to to hold her hand (I think so she could close her eyes and still know I was there). I think I had to do it for a good 2 weeks before she would just go to bed by herself. It was a long 2 weeks but worth it to have her sleeping in her own room. "Joy of parenthood" for sure!!! HTH
I've never really had that problem but have had friends that have and they always told me that they would just sit by their bed until they would fall asleep. If they had any house hold chores that needed to be done they would simply put them off or just ask their husband to help out. It always seemed to work for them!!! It took a little while but it did work so don't give up!!!
D.
I have a 3 year old. I had the same problem until a week ago. I think by age 3 she should be willing to sleep. I keep my son's closet light on and let him know I will be right across the hall in my room. He is doing extremely well. I tried everything up until a week ago and nothing worked. Until he was ready. It just varies with each child.
M.
I wish I had an answer for you, but your issue is the very reason we haven't moved our 2 yr old out of his crib and into a toddler bed. I'm terrified he'll just get up and wander around the house at night! As things stand now, he won't/can't climb out of his crib, so he's still safe in it. However, since he does often wake in the night, sing a bit, then put himself back to sleep, I have worries about how active he'll be once he's able to leave the bed on his own.
I understand your concerns . . . when my oldest was about 20 months old, he got out of his crib, dragged a kitchen chair into the garage, opened the garage door, and walked across the street and rang our neighbor's doorbell! You can imagine our shock to get a call at 6:30 a.m. from our neighbors to say our son was at their house!! To help my kids stay in bed (I have three sons) I have used stickers and stars on a chart . . . if they can stay in their own bed for 5 nights, they get a small reward. My oldest son was so into Thomas the Train when he went through this phase, and it really worked for him. For his youngest brother, it was much harder . . .just try to be consistent with bedtime. He LOVED to dance before bed, and we'd do this for fun if he stayed in his bed the night before. I also saw on Super Nanny once that you can sit near her bed until she falls asleep the first night, then move a little further away each night until she is comfortable falling asleep on her own.
Good luck!
M.,
I had the same problem with my oldest...not only at bed time, but at nap time, too. I had to keep my eyes on him 24/7 as he has some issues and would literally destroy everything in his path...lol I tried the laying down beside him until he was asleep...and wow...that never worked. I was asleep before he was...lol So I tried putting him in his room and closing his door...that didn't work either. Then I tried the baby door knob covers...that was horrible as he just sat there and banged and kicked at the door. That wouldn't do, so what I did was I would go in there with him and put him in his bed...and sing him his baby song (which to this day he loves and goes to sleep with and he's 9). Before I finished the song, he had his favorite blanket clutched in his hand, against his little cheek and was fast asleep. The other factors behind that story are that your children pick up on your stress. So, find something that relaxes you...and make sure the bedtime routine is ALWAYS the same. Make sure nap time is right after lunch for an hour to an hour and a half...and then bedtime is right after dinner and bath time...and that you are relaxed. This should cut out a lot of the issues you are having. Like everyone else has said, be patient and persistent! Good luck!
J. M
Hi M.,
Maybe try lying down on the floor next to her bed. If that helps her stay in her bed then you can just wait till she falls asleep and then leave. Gradually you can lay further away from the bed. Then sit by the door with the door open and then eventually she may be able to sleep on her own. I saw it on Super Nanny. LOL> But I did have to do something like that with my own kids and it is just a phase. I had to lie on the floor many a nights. It gets better though I promise. It is just one of the joys of parenthood. LOL. Hope this helps.
Oh, I've been there before. Is it getting her to bed initially or is she coming into your room during the night?
Unfortunately, my oldest kept sneaking into our room until she fell out of our bed and broke her collarbone. That is when the doctor told her she would fall out and break the other one if she didn't stay in her own bed. I never had that problem with her again. So when my youngest started trying to sleep in our bed, I had her doctor tell her that she needed to stay in her own bed so she didn't get hurt. It worked for the most part.
Occasionally, my youngest will fight sleep and try to refuse staying in her bed. On those nights, I turn on a movie and tell her that she can watch it if she lays down. If she gets up, I take the movie away and just sit and sing to her until she falls alseep. She doesn't really like my singing so she doesn't get up much anymore. She is always alseep before the movie ends.
The only key I had was to be consistant and never give in. It takes a couple weeks of pure frustration, but once they know that you won't give in, it gets easier. They are stubborn little angels so you have to be even more stubborn than they are. Good luck!!!
Well I am no expert but I do watch Nanny 911 all the time. That was one of the problems a couple had with their kids and her advice was to keep putting them back in the bed everytime that they got up. It showed the footage of when the mom tried it and it took around two hours the first 2 nights of putting them back in bed steady but by the third night they started to get the hint that they were going to be put back to bed. I know it sounds tireing but if it works I think it would be worth it! Just keep putting her back in bed until she gives up!
My son had this same problem. He would continuously get out of the bed. As crazy as it sounds, the only way I got him to stay in the bed was by watching the way I trained my dog! Now I'm not saying your child is a dog, but my puppy kept jumping in my bed after I was asleep and I kept waking and putting her back on the floor. After a few weeks, she got tired of being woke up to get on the floor and she got the picture. I tried the same with my son. He would get out the bed, and I would say no, it's bed time and put him back in the bed. It's time consuming, tiring for both you and the child, and can sometimes get noisy, but I promise it works. Just take time. Good luck!
Roni
