Bedtime and Getting up in the Mornings

T.,
I have a 10yr old girl and a 15 month old boy, both are like me. Like to stay up late and hate to get up early HOWEVER my daughter started a new school this year and we have to be out the door no later then 7am. Like Julian I too have been taking pointers from Fly lady and this has helped me tremendously!! Give her a try.

I have your same problem but my daughter(7) is worse. I hear ya though I just don't know where the time goes. I am not a fan of homework I feel when the kids come home from school it's family time and because of homework and so many other things we just don't have enough time. I'm lucky if my daughter is in bed before 11pm seriously. She's obviously a problem in the morning too. I have no advise on getting them to bed earlier as I'm in the same boat but as far as making your mornings sail smoother here's what we do.

Before bed she has to have her homework/book bag ready by the door.

Clothing for the next day picked out.

My biggest pet peeve is running around trying to find something in a rush so she has to have everything organized and ready to go snowpants, hats/mittens whatever she may need.

When my daughter does wake up in the morning I make things as simple as possible, she goes to the bathroom, get's dressed, I comb her hair and she's out the door. We opted to do breakfast at school that saves us alot of time and once less thing for me to nag at her about.

I've found the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth to be a great resource for me. It talks about studies done from infants through age 12, I think. Most stories in it are geared for younger ones, but it helped me with my twins and their sleep schedule and they are 5 yrs now. As far as suggestions for your situation, I'd try backing up the "going to bed" time by about 20 minutes at a time. There will undoubtedly be resistance at first, but maybe if she was in on the choice because of how much better she would also like her day to start off... like giving her a choice of 20, 25 or 30 minutes earlier. Maybe if sleep time is 8-8:30 then go to room time is one hour earlier? Good luck!

Just suggestions, you may already be doing this:

Pack the lunch the night before
Lay out the clothes the night before (including socks/tights, shoes, underware)
Take shower/bath night before

That could help shorten the time in the morning, also include your daughter in picking out clothes and making lunch so she can see that everything will be ready for her in the morning. I remember when I was a little girl I would worry about things I had to do quickly in the morning to be ready for the bus, so it took me forever to "ignore" my brain and fall asleep. I am still that way today but do things the night before so I have less to think about in the morning.

Maybe move your daughters bed timme up half an hour, if possible. Giving her more time to fall asleep and more actaully time to sleep before having to get up in the morning.

Hope the other moms have more advice/suggestions.

I would also suggest putting her to be earlier. My friend had to do this and it worked very well for her. She has a 6 and 4 year old that are both in bed by 7 or 7:30. They are much happier girls now : )

I'd say Time is what you need to focus on. I need to wake my 7 yr old in plenty of time to let him wake up and come around. And I wake him and his brother up in 5 min increments so they can come around slowly and not Up! Dressed! Out the door!

As far as going to bed, I'd start putting her to bed about 20-30 min earlier and let her read. After I read both boys a story then we let them read for about 15 min in bed. It gets them relaxed, quieted down, and drowsy.

I have an early to bed daughter and a night owl, like me! It makes things interesting at our house! First make a ritual each evening and prepare like crazy for the a.m.

Some reading that really helped was Sink Reflections by Marla Ciley (spelling?) She also has a Web site called flylady.com. The big message is taking the chaos out of your life and mornings can really be chaos and stressful.

I notice that when I lie down with my night owl, read a book, prayers and then lights off, she really can get to sleep early, and I have a de-stressing moment of being with her, in the dark, just relaxing. It is good for both of us.

Know that this is most likely a phase. However, I have come to the conclusion that sleep patterns are somewhat part of our personality. I come alive when the rest of the world is winding down and I get my second wind and creativity hits.

Night Time Parenting by Dr Sears is great, although I do not remember how old it goes to. Ask Dr Sears Web site is exceptional. Google it and see what is helpful from it,

Good luck!
J.

no tv, heavy meals, or big drinks in the hour or so before bed. tv stimulates the mind, so staying away from tv should help. read to her, that is more relaxing. a bath/shower? maybe playing music or a book on tape/cd?

I have had the same bedtime for my kiddies (6&7) forever. We start going upstairs @ 6:45 and start our routine. My husband and I trade kids every other night. I have my son and every other night and same for my daughter. We brush teeth, snuggle, tell stories and read books for 30-60 minutes. We really have a chance to connect and talk about the events of the day. It is very rare that we have a problem with kids not going right to sleep after that quiet time. On the days that we can't spend that time we just explain why and that they will have their time the next night. That usually works just fine and they go to sleep. Our kids are up at @6 am every morning and they are ready to go for school with no problems. They usually have time too read, play and are wide awake and ready for school no problems.

We have our problems parenting and by no means are perfect...far from it in fact. But I think bedtime for us is one of the things we have figured out something that works well for our family. Regular routine that they can count on is a must for us. I also believe that the quiet destressing time with lots of support and love makes them relax and feel comfortable enough to drift off to sleep easily.

Maybe you could try to have her ready for bed and in her room at 7-7:30pm. That way if she needs that hour to wind down before going to sleep it won't be so late when she is actually asleep.

As far as morning goes... Have her pick out what she's going to wear the night before, backpack packed and ready by the front door.

You could try making a chart with the issues she needs to work on. (ie. getting out of bed right away in the morning, dressing quickly...) She could earn a sticker on her chart for each day she does well. After she earns a certain number of stickers she can pick something special to do. Doing a chart like this has worked very well for my daughter when she has some issues she needs to work on. Some of our rewards have been...baking muffins together, a pizza night, special time together. (she get's to choose, within reason of course)

I have an 8 year old son who doesn't like to get up in the morning and doesn't like to go to bed at night. He goes to bed at 7:30 when his sister and brother go to bed, but he gets to read independently for 30-60 minutes before it is lights out. Before we started this routine he would lay in bed for a long time before falling asleep. Now he usually goes to sleep right away. As for getting up in the morning, I make sure to leave lots of time. It usually takes him about 30 minutes to get up and get dressed, leaving only about 10-15 minutes for breakfast and shoes, jacket, etc before catching the bus. Some mornings he does better than others. He runs out the door to catch the bus several mornings a week. Good luck.

Be stricter about getting her to bed earlier. If not doing already, take bath or shower at night and limit stimulating activities before bed. Try to do something active after school or after dinner, this should help tire her out. Also, limit what she can do in her room after she is put to bed: books, soft music etc...what is she doing after she is put to bed for an hour?? Hopefully not playing with toys.

Also, we have recently let our 6 yr old take a quick shower in the morning...this seems to help her wake up. I also agree with getting everything ready the night before...it should help with things to be more relaxing in the am.

We bought our now six year old her own alarm clock. She went with me to buy it and pick it out. She was responsible for setting it and making sure she got up to turn it off. We put it across the room so she had to walk to it to shut if off. It works like a charm and makes her feel grown up. We find that she knows when she should be asleep too. She will ask to go to bed early if she is extra tired.

Have her go to bed an hour earlier. If she complains tell her its because she doesn't go to bed right away. When she starts doing that maybe she can stay up an hour later again