Bds Playing with Breast

Hitting, pinching, biting from children isn't sexual but considered unaccepted. Just because touching isn't sexual doesn't mean boundaries shouldn't be taught. I wouldln't want anyone touching my breasts all the time sexual or not! I don't allow unlimited touching of my arm, hair, neck, nose......., a little space please! Don't think it is wrong to teach children to respect this as they should expect the same from their peers. This is how they learn to set boundaries.

There are several things here. Some were brought up in your responses...

First thing, breastfeeding: It is not only uncommon but also generally not accepted to breastfeed beyond toddler years.

Second thing, fondling: I find that entirely unacceptable. YES, I get it, it is a source of food for babies... BUT it is also sexual, and private separately from using it for feeding. It just IS. Why else would a guy get immediately turned on by sight of a nice pair? Also, to be totally frank, a woman gets turned on by breast/nipple fondling. It isn't an opinion it is a natural fact.

If my children touch me or someone where they shouldn't (I'm not talking about sitting on my lap and resting their head, I mean hand on breast touch, etc) I calmly (but firmly) say, "No, that is private" (I have four girls).

Third: That stupid TIME cover. It is inappropriate not because that child is older but because it is using her breast and her child for attention. It is absolutely unacceptable. The breast serves more than one purpose, and we can't pretend it doesn't. Also, putting it on a world-wide cover is only exploiting something that is supposed to be an intimate bond between mother and child.

Fourth, "Mothers love": Us moms love all over the place with our kids, we don't need to show it in controversial ways. I'm worn out at the end of each day about how much love I show through all I do as a mom! LOL!

I'm not knocking extended breastfeeding, at all. I will admit that if it is beyond toddler years I find it more than weird- mainly because it isn't necessary, so it causes people to wonder, "why?".

I breastfed all my four girls.

I don't think this is acceptable at all. We women aren't livestock, and our breasts are not just food sources. Well, at least they aren't for me. lol A baby using breasts for nursing is one thing, as is a toddler who doesn't know any better. However, a pre-adolescent child touching for comfort is just WAY outside of my comfort zone.

For my own son, who is five and who did nurse until he was three (and coslept until he was four)...

I have been very clear with him about what we, in our society, consider the 'private parts' of our bodies. I'm not a prude, and am not hung up about nudity, nor do I consider this about sexuality. For me, it's about teaching my son social norms and being consistent with him. I have a sibling who is okay with getting fondled by her boys, however I was a bit taken aback when her eldest (who was nine or so at the time) did it to *me* during a goodbye hug. Ummm...NO! I let it go at the time, knowing her attitude about it. However, I did decide that since our son is no longer nursing, he has better, more socially comfortable ways of expressing his affection with myself, his aunties, grandmothers and teachers than grabbing their breasts. I OWE him this information, in my opinion. To not correct him means potentially setting him up for severe embarrassment at another time.

And as a preschool teacher, I have been fondled a few times... I take those moments to gently but firmly inform the child that they might do that with mama, but other women will get upset if you touch their breasts because it's a private part of their body and that it's not okay. They get the message pretty quickly!

I find that article disturbing, and I'm not sure what to say about a 10 year old still "fondling" their mother's breast.

Just odd to me!!!

Noooooooo, if a child isn't taught not to touch mama's breast once they've been weaned, one of her private parts (anything covered by a bathing suit,) how will they know it is wrong for someone to touch their private parts? Teaching respect of other's bodies works both ways, our children deserve their bodies respected, so do we as adults.

Wait a second...did you really mean 10?? I have to say, I have never heard of a culture (not even in the most poverty stricken places, like Sub-Saharan Africa) where breastfeeding until ten is considered normal. Seriously. My church has missionaries in all kinds of countries, that support women's and children's health...this includes breastfeeding advocacy. (Formula companies often market to poor countries with not enough clean water, which is why they educate about nursing.) Six and seven, sure. TEN?!!! No way.

In no country...anywhere...do I think fondling a mother and breastfeeding a preteen is normal. Perhaps, in the most severe poverty breastfeeding is resorted to...but it's not the norm. Nursing is giving nutrients and love, yes. Fondling, is not using the breast as a source of nutrient and care. Sorry. It's weird, and I think it's weird in many more places then just the USA.

In THAT article, the boy felt traumatized. It's likely that the "fondling" moved past something nurturing, if he was traumatized by it. THAT is what she is addressing. The fact that it was used for something other then nurture, and now it affects him sexually. Just because, YOU weren't affected sexually, does not mean other people doing the same thing will happen the same way. He clearly was in a situation, where the mother's body was not used for it's purpose, regarding her child. That brings up more questions, why can't hugging, cuddling, and other forms of physical touch be used to nurture. Why does a body part like a breast... have to be used by an almost teenager...to achieve closeness. It's strange, and shouldn't be happening. "Normal" does not mean RIGHT. In some countries, children are still married before they hit puberty. Woman are still beaten in killed if someone rapes them. It's normal. That does not make normal right. (Not that I'm saying those have anything to do with what you are asking. I'm simply pointing out that many people and cultures equate the norm, with being correct.)

Two things in play here, for one she weaned them at five but continued to let them fondle her. You were still nursing at 10. In our culture this is not the norm, five is generally the extreme.

The second thing is her motivation, was it sexual? We don't know. It would seem the boy writing in thought it was or he wouldn't have been repulsed by the idea. It seems like if you aren't nursing they are no longer an instrument of nurturing, ya know?

Edit: I assume you came from a collectivistic culture. There familial bonds are needed and nurtured. We are an individualistic culture, we value independence not dependence. Here dependence is weakness. It is looked down on. Not saying either is right or wrong but it is what it is. In our country what that woman is doing is wrong on many levels.

As I learn more and talk to people of other cultures, I've learned that there are a lot of things that do work just fine...in other cultures...but not here. Not that it was/is 'bad' in another culture...but with our society the way it is...it really is not the same. I don't know what the intentions were/are of the mother mentioned in the article, but I can't see that happening without the son/daughter feeling the way he/she did (sorry, I didnt' catch if it was a boy or girl).

I find it gross and something that should not be happening.

She is enabling inappropriate behavior with her children and I think they are all in need of counseling.

I think that the behavior described by the article and E. could potentially describe a wide range of behaviors between acceptable and unacceptable. My older son breastfed until he was almost 3 and self-weaned shortly after my second was born. He decided that the "boo-boos" were for his brother now. But he would occasionally come up to me while I was feeding the baby and pat the top of my breast and say something about making food for the baby. Even now (he is 4.5), every once in a while he will pat me or lay his head on me while we are snuggling. I do not see anything that is the tiniest bit sexual or inappropriate about that. I have no idea what happened between the boy in the article and his mom. It could have been completely inappropriate, or it could have been appropriate at the time but the son is just feeling uncomfortable that he can remember touching his mom's breasts in ANY way now that he is focused on breasts as sexual things. I do not want to minimize the sitaution for him if it was inappropriate or even abusive, I am just saying that we do not know. Americans can still look at breastfeeding through a Puritanical lense. E., if you are not familiar with the Puritans, they were too uptight for the British, so that should tell you something...