When Is the RIGHT Age to STOP Breastfeeding and HOW!!!!

How long to breastfeed is a personal decision to be made between mom and baby. As I'm sure others will tell you, the WHO recommends breastfeeding for at least two years, and thereafter "as long as mutually desired." I've heard that the average weaning age around the world is closer to 4 years, and that studies of other mammals suggest that kids would naturally wean themselves sometime around age 4 on their own. What this means is that if you feel you need to stop breastfeeding before your daughter self-weans you will have to wean her, because she probably won't decide on her own to stop anytime soon--maybe not until age two or beyond. On the other hand, you may decide that it's not bothering you or hurting anyone and that you don't need to stop until you're both ready. This is a decision that only you can make for your own family so it's best to try to tune out the unwanted advice and teasing from other people. There are many benefits to extended breastfeeding; if you google "benefits extended breastfeeding" you will find lots of info to help you decide.

If you decide that you need to wean your daughter, the Kellymom site is a great resource for gentle weaning tips. Here is a starting point: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/how_weaning_happens.html

I don't have any personal advice on weaning because I'm still nursing my almost-3-year-old. He's decreased his nursing sessions on his own, and we're down to 1-3 a day--nighttimes for sure, sometimes at nap, and rarely in the morning.

Best wishes!

I know some people say keep doing it until the kids want to stop but...I think essentially they just like being close to us. I would say distract her with something else. With my first child we switched to a warm cup up milk in the morning and evening instead of nursing. I started that a 12 months wit her. I think after a year they don't "need" that breastmilk anymore. It is hard on both of you, I know I missed it too. It is such a great closeness that only you two share. Just hold her close and give her that cup of milk. The sooner I think the more independent she will feel.

When I was where you are now two books really helped me- How Weaning Happens and Mothering Your Nursing Toddler. I ended up doing "extended nursing" and never regretted it. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends nursing for at least 12 months and after that for as long as mother and child want to. It is very healthy physically and emotionally to continue nursing. My boy nursed until he was almost three and I know some people think that is strange, but I think our society's approach to nursing is sometimes very strange. It's natural and healthy- what's the fuss? My boy is happy, bright and well adjusted, and quit nursing with very few tears. When people bothered me about me nursing such a big boy I calmly explained my point of view. Some people- even my mother!- changed their minds when they saw how happy we are. I know you will be hearing a lot of opinions on this- I just wanted to add mine. Good luck!

Wow - what fabulous information and support from these women! I breastfed my first until 14 months, my 2nd (the one I had MAJOR issues in breastfeeding that led me to become a Lactation Consultant) until 3 yrs 2 mo - tandem nursed #2 and 3 for 9 months and then nursed #3 until 4.5 yrs - I wanted to be done around 3.5 but I was going through a nasty separation (with the ex being a jackass) and nursing was the one thing that comforted my son - he came out of the divorce better than my other two.

So - with all that - I agree 100% with the other moms who have responded. It is about what YOU and BABY want NOT what others think.

My family became VERY rude and inappropriate with my breastfeeding - even going so far as to say I was sexually abusing my 2nd son (18 mo old at the time) and nursing for my own sexual pleasure! (it was my b-i-l who said this - my response? Whats the matter, Kenny? Are you jealous??) By the time my 3rd son was born it had been made VERY clear to my family that it was MY business NOT theirs and they had better keep their mouths shut because I was so over their ridiculous comments - and I am damn good with the smart-ass comebacks that make them BLUSH and the shut up.

So, on family clowning you (haven't heard that term before! Interesting...I like it!) tell them to back off. The research and evidence are on your side and are in favor of long term nursing (or rather - NORMAL term nursing). For example, the human brain does all of its growth and development of neural pathways (those little things in the brain that make you who you are and help you later in life to remember, learn, have social abilities, etc) in the first 21 months of life after birth (yes it is growing during pregnancy too). At around 21 months what you have is what you have. Breastmilk and breastfeeding provide OPTIMAL brain growth and development of those neural pathways. The physical act of breastfeeding is actually just as important in many ways and the breastmilk itself. :) So, if you want to give your child the best possible brain she can have - continue to breastfeed.

My ex-husband was diagnosed with MS a couple years ago. Apparently it runs pretty heavily in his family - something neither of us knew about. MS attacks the brain and the myelan that wraps around the brain cells/nerves, etc. Those nerves and pathways are what give us our memory, our balance, our ability to walk...things my ex is losing rather quickly. My kids and I are scared that they too will develop MS, but my cursory research shows that extended (normal) breastfeeding may very well protect from MS...can you guess how happy we all are (including the ex) that we nursed for so long???

So - if you really do want to wean (which it doesn't honestly sound like you do... :) the best way to wean gently is"Don't offer - Don't refuse". Basically, you don't offer the breast - ever. But if she asks, you don't refuse. You can give a time limit - when my youngest was almost 4, I would say, OK - but only 2 minutes or less. God love him - he would get all excited and say, "Less!" not realizing...so we would nurse for 2 minutes and he was good. :)

The other thing you can use is distraction. When they ask to nurse (like when they are bored and nursing to do something...) you distract with "Here let's do this first..." or some such thing. If they are really upset, it would be best to nurse for a short time then say "Ok, let's go try this, or play with that...".

I. - find your own way - TRUST your mama heart - do what feels right for YOU. Remember, she is YOUR child to raise YOUR way. ONLY you KNOW what is best for her...trust that. If it feels right - do it. If it doesn't feel right - don't do it...Trust your mama heart and your gut...you'll do fine if you do!

Warmly,

J.
Mom and LC

I really think it is a personal decision. I was finished when my daughter decided that I was her chew toy and she was no longer relly nursing. I took all of the feedings away and started using milk. I did it by slowly taking away one feeding ever 3-5 days and then left the bed time for last. We just changed her bed time ritual and read her stories. She was perfectly fine. My second child would have nothing to do with that. I had to take the feedings away one at a time and got down the b-fast, lunch, and bed and took away lunch and had to give it back. A few days later I took it away again and he was fine with that and then I waited a 3-4 more days and took away the morning feeding. I then waited about a week and took bed time away. It was great and easy. Good luck!
L. G.

You define what is right for you and for your child. With my first child, I thought I would wean around 12 months, but he was still going strong. At two years he was down to once every 2-3 days, so when I was ready to wean completely (not enough energy to be pregnant, nursing, and working full time), I just played with him. As long as I didn't sit down, he didn't think about it. Distraction is one of your most valuable parenting tools. My second (and last) child weaned himself cold turkey at 15 months, which was both a relief and a disappointment to me. I will never have that special experience again. The time that you spend nursing your child is so precious. Keep that connection as long as you can. Don't let others push you into anything. Good luck.

Hi
I thought the same thing that my babies stop on their own. And you know what? They did. I was proud that my son made it to 12months. I started giving him regular milk and thought he will lose interest in breast milk. Yeah right, he still needed it at least three times a day. It was really hard to stop when he did't want. So I just continued, hoping it will end soon. It was 5 Weeks before his second birthday when he had the last time. He latched on, gagged, looked up at me and said: "Yucky". And that was it. No more. I know that people make fun of you or give you strange looks. But don't worry it will happen. And I really believe the babies know when is enough. Just do what You think is right. Good luck

I dealt with the family disapproval with Breastfeeding too. My 1st child breast fed until she was 2 1/2 ... You know what, it's up to you, my dear. If you feel OK with breastfeeding your child, that's completely up to you ... don't let your family & friends discourage from what only be, in the whole life of you and daughter, a SMALL percentage of time. Honor this time as it will never come back. You only have a "baby" so long before they grow up and don't crave your comforting or attention. I say, be with your child in whatever way YOU are comfortable with and ask for respect during this beatiful phase of your life!!

Why are you getting concerned, many many women breastfeed into toddlerhood, Do not stop breast feeding unless you NEED to. I breast fed all 3 of my children until they weened themselves well into to their toddler years. I was nursing two of them while pregnant with the 3rd. I did not plan to do this but it just happened.
Being able to sooth your child by breastfeeding is lovely, You need to be around people who breast feed, so you know that feeding past a year is very normal.

With my first, my mom always would start a conversation by saying are you still breast feeding that boy....wheh I had the other two she stopped saying it.
Yes it was aggravating. But you are doing everything right for your child. Call your local La Leche League for support.
Best to you,
P.

Keep breastfeeding if you feel it's the right thing to do. the World Health Organization suggests two years and the majority of cultures around the world breastfeed until three or four. Plus, the longer you breastfeed, the greater you reduce the chances of your child getting a serious illness, such as meningitis. there's nothing wrong with continuing to breastfeed and if people are clowning you, i feel sorry for them. there are many people out there who breastfeed until two years or longer. Good job, mama!

i'm sorry you are having this struggle. rest assured you are doing a great service to your daughter and her health, physical and mental- i'm sure she enjoys the closeness to you as much as the milk. ignore everyone else and listen to your daughter. she'll wean when she is ready. in most countries, children are breastfed for many years. the world health organization recommends breastfeeding for at least 2 years. the benefits of breastmilk are enormous to your daughters future health and well being. it might help to find a little support (le leche league maybe- they often have mom's groups, check their website) so that you don't feel alone and that you know it is normal and healthy for your daughter to still be breasfeeding, despite what your friends and family say.

all that said, if you are feeling drained or resentful about the breast feeding, and finding support doesn't change that, you might consider weaning, as it is not good for your daughter for you to grow angry and resentful at her when she's just trying to get her needs met.

I just wanted to give you one more note of reassurance. I know it's hard to listen and take the comments. And like you with my first son I thought that I'd wean him about the 12-month mark, basically because that was what society has put as an acceptable age for the baby to stop. But the truth of the matter is you have to find that acceptable time to for you and your daughter, not anyone else. My eldest son stop breastfeeding at 3, however of course he eat regular food and drank from a cup, but like you we would feed at night and nap times. And we stopped bascially because we were becoming a big boy and going to preschool. now with my youngest who is curretly 2yrs we as well do the mornings and nap time and evening feeding and the comfort feeds. And to tell you the truth at times it's frustrating, their is times that I just don't want to and there is time that i hear the comments and then of course there are time he just doosn't want to. So you see for us even though we get the comments because he's 2 we are not ready. but i do notice as the days go by there seems to be less comfort feeding and fewer resting feeding. Right now we are down to about 2-3 feeding a day: the morning, when we get home from school (that's our mommy an me time) and bedtime. So the only really advice I give you is time and patience and of course humbleness for those comments. The only thing that I can say to the comments and of course with a grin is 1) how long were you breastfeed? and most the time people were not and if they were they won't know the answer, tell them to get back with the answer and how were they weaned. and 2) you time them that this is something specail that ONLY you and daughter share together. and of course if your feeling a little sassy tell them they are ruining it for you but making you feel ashamed/ guilty. and of course you can always ignore them. But just remember you not th first woman to breastfeed and face this problem and you will not be the last. It's quite amazing how many children are breastfeed these days but yet society has made it as though we should or we should for only a limited time and in the private of our own homes, it's amazing that we have regressed in this matter. Good Luck!!! Hope my words help in whatever you decide!

breastfeed for as long as you want. the longer the better for both of you in terms of health benefits. in many countries around the world is it common to nurse 3 years or more. follow your instincts and your heart.

I truly hope you have received lots of advice telling you to stop letting people get to you! This is one of many decisions regarding your child's health that you make on your own/with your partner. 15 months is quite young to wean in many people's mind. I weaned my son at 20 months and was hoping to make it to 2 years, but a combination of listening to negative input from family and general frustration with his bedtime routine brought me to wean him earlier. He would still be nursing and asks for it every day 3 months later. Especially if you are a working mom, your child may use nursing to reconnect with you and it is so healthy!! What would people have you do, take her from a human breast to a cow breast? You should feel empowered to introduce different sleep associations so she doesnt always need you, but I say relish the connection you have as lomng as YOU want to. For more supportive reading, go check out the Baby Book by Dr. Sears. Good luck -- and remember, you know best. You are not spoiling her by soothing her with your nutritious milk.

My son was 15 months old when I stopped breastfeeding him. I feed him at night to go to sleep and then in the middle of the night when he would wake up. He has never been a good sleeper, but since I stopped the feeding he has been better, but anyway. I had to go out of town for work for 3 days and that was how I did it. When I came back I put the boppie away and would just rock him to sleep. It has worked like a charm. Maybe try having your husband put her to sleep and you stay out of sight. Or maybe it is time that mama had a vacation. :) My son loved to breastfeed, so I know how hard it is. Best of luck.

K.

The best advice I ever rcvd re: breastfeeding was DON'T LISTEN TO ANYONE! (at least not the people who are coming down on you). The next best piece of advice I got was that breastfeeding is a 2 person game...when one of the players is unhappy, the game is over. So, if you are feeling done with it, it's time to stop.

You've already weaned her down to a couple feedings a day. IF you're ready to stop, just cut out those last two feedings (will she take a bottle?)...but, you prob. can't go back and forth with the "soothing" feedings when she's frustrated. It will take a few days of her being unsettled and you may have to stand strong (ugh, isn't that the worst for a mom?!)

Be patient, stop IF you're ready, but don't feel pressure from anyone else. My son weaned himself at 11 mos, and I was heartbroken, so I know what you mean about quitting is hard. On the other side, my best friend nursed until her son was 2 1/2--she got a ton of pressure from everyone to quit, but she wanted him to decide and he is now 3 1/2, well-adjusted, and totally FINE! Good luck!

Well, first I have to say... way to go!!! Weaning is a process, and it took me 2 months. I weaned my daughter at 13 months, starting with one session at a time. I started pushing more and more solids. I introduced milk in a cup, and tried to give her a bottle at bed time. Each week I would try to stop another session. It took some time, and it was so hard not to feed her when she cried for me, but we got used to it. Try to get your baby excited about new foods. Try new things, and let your baby see you try it too. Good luck and remember it is a process that takes time and effort.

Maybe you should tell your family to worry about their own children and their own breasts and you will worry about theirs. I used to let all the criticism bother me but my son is 19 months, i am 5 months pregnant and my son still nurses. It's totally normal for babies to nurse this long - actually the current recommendation is two years and then as long as mututally desired after that.
If you really want your baby to wean for your own reasons, then I suggest checking out kellymom.com for weaning info or attending a LLL meeting for support. These sources will not "clown you" for still nursing and if you're really wanting to stop, they can help give you a plan to navigate that will not be as stressful as going "cold turkey" as I often hear of moms doing. (which they mostly say is really difficult and them and their child.)
Good luck to you!! I wish you the best in making your decision!

I stopped breast feeding my son when he was 18 months. I weaned him off but he still wanted to feed at night. Finally I just stopped him cold turkey he ajusted fine and it only took a weekend.... Try offering her a cup that has a soft mouth piece.

Hi I..... this brings up memories! I breast fed each of my 3 children when they were babies,2 of them were weaned at about a year old, but my one daughter was like yours, she didn't want to give it up, close to 2 years old. Mean as it sounds, when I'd finally 'had it' I basically explained to her she was too old for 'mommy milk' and gave her a sippy cup, which she'd also been drinking from, and made her go 'cold turkey'. She was only nursing a couple times a day prior to that. She also ate well at meals, so I knew she was well nourished. She seemed to realize it was time for her to quit, she was just waiting for me to 'put my foot down' so to speak. So, at your daughter's age at 16 months, you shouldn't feel guilty if you wanted to wean her. Hope this is of some help, and good luck. Sincerely, CJ

Hi, I just wanted to say that there is no right age to stop breastfeeding other then what is right for you! If you are ready to give it up, then you continue to do what you are doing- limiting the nurse time until it is down to once a day and then cold turkey (and you deal with a week of upset toddler). Don't let other people make you feel bad! Your little one is healther and stronger for nursing longer (they say during the second year the babies obtain all of the immunizations from mommies milk). I just weaned my son at 2 and 1/2 (waaay longer then I was expecting to nurse!). It took about a week of him upset at night and then he was over it. The thing is, your little one might not want to stop nursing till their five:)
Good luck!

I have a 19 month old I am still breastfeeding. I don't know if there is a "right" age. One mom told me, two of her five children wanted to nurse longer than she was comfortable with at the time but now wishes she let them wean themselves because as kids they are the more demanding and needy ones. Knowing that my son might need this comforting makes me feel better about it. He doesn't take a pacifier or have any other way of soothing himself yet. My older son took a pacifier and had a "blankie" he loved. We made a rabbit out of the blanket and he still sleeps with it!(All tattered and falling apart!) Perhaps when my little one learns to comfort himself or finds something else to "love" he won't need to nurse anymore. But for now, I'm ok with him needing me. I just wish we could both get a full nights sleep!
I know this isn't the way we do it here and now in America, but a long time ago and in other countries moms nurse until 3, 4 even 5 years old!

I am having the same issue. My daughter is 16 mo old. I 've decided to take it easy with her and "remove" one feeding for a week or two before removing another. This way, she gets a chance to transition slowly versus cold turkey (which to me feels cold). She fussed and became angry the first day i started but pretty immediately has been accepting of no longer having that feeding (let's hope this is not just a fluke)! Good luck!

There is no right age to stop. There s research showing that breastfeeding ihas benefits for the child until age 5! Now I could not IMAGINE nursing that long, but whenever is right for you and your daughter= that's the right time. I ave never known a baby to self wean, I have heard about it- but its rare. I nursedmy son until 19 months and wold have gone a little longer if my supply hadn't dried up so fast. When I wantedt o wean him from a feeding I would just have to do something else with him in the place of nursing- for instance- giving up the first morning feeding- instead of laying in bed with him when he woke up- we would hop out of bed and go do something in the kitchen. Bedtime we would just stick to reading together, snuggling and i would hold him and snuggle him but I wouldn't let him nurse- just try to find other ways to comfort her. She will protest..you just have to become CLEAR about it, then you will be consistent and then she will adapt. Hopr Hope this helps!

i know you posted this a couple weeks ago, however i wanted to let you know you aren't alone. it's hard to have people mock you and tell you your the parent. they are right, but unless you've nursed, it's hard to listen to those comments. i breastfed each of my kids long term.. it was always before their 2nd birthday but it was always on their terms too. we cut back to just bed time and nap time.. and then one day i just told her mommy couldn't do that anymore because she is a big girl and has big girl cups. take her to the store with you and let her pick out a special cup just for her.. that is special from mommy. so for her it feels like she's still being close. it's not easy. my last was the hardest and the longest, 6 weeks before her second birthday. her daddy quit smoking and she quit "ba". they each have a name for it. :) just know that you can do it when you are ready. time limits are silly. every person and every baby is different. you can give formula until 24 months according to the can, i don't see any reason why you can't wean your baby off breastfeeding on your own terms as well. take your time. update us if you've already resolved this and let us know how you did it. always nice to hear others stories... :)

I.,

If I hear you correctly -- you are ready to stop but your daughter is not so you feel guilty to make her to do so. 15 months is a reasonable time to stop if you want to. Your baby maybe unhappy about it for a while, but she will get over it and more importantly forget about it. When I weaned my son, he was upset for 2 days. Then completely fine after that. A month after that, even if I give my breast to him he would want it. The whole thing feels like a much bigger deal to the mom than it is to the baby. Weaning is part of growing up.

J. M

sounds familiar. my daughter was at that stage at 2 yrs old and i had another on the way. cut her back so i would be able to sleep more when the new baby came. finally was tired of waking up for 2 different kids, so weened her at 2 1/4 yrs old. i slowly worked her away from needing the boob in bed, to sitting and reading while she nursed, then on her weening day we quit, had a huge party for her, and whe only got cuddles and book at bed and nap. she missed the boob for a while but she knew she was still getting attention, and that was more important. we talked about the whole process and i told her about the steps and reassured her. went really well. how i have a 1.5 yr old and am waiting for his comprehension to advance abit more so we can talk about it and throw him a party too. step by step, not cold turkey was what i went for, but i know others who would prefer to be done faster and go for the other method. i just can't seem to do the crying baby thing. good luck whatever your choices are. you do have to stick to the rules once you make them though.

I stopped breastfeeding my daughter at 27 mons. when I gave birth to my son. She was only a nurser at bed time at that time and we just told her that we're saving the nursies for the new baby and momma will snuggle extra at bed time. It worked. She was very into being a big girl. Now I nursed my son until he was 3. He gave it up on his birthday and by then he only nursed at bed for comfort and maybe once during the day if he needed it. It totally helped w/ the terrible 2's and 3's as they were non-existant. When he would get overwhelmed and was about to throw a tantrum he would run to me and ask for nursies. It totally grounded him. He is so well adjusted and affectionate now. Loves his momma as his sister does and most of all they love to see other nursing children. I've never regretted nursing for so long. If you need some support you should go to a La Leche League meeting. I was very active in the group and the Napa group is great. Good luck. Most of all don't rush it.

Hi I.:

Are you enjoying the breastfeeding time with your little one? If so, don't worry about it. I breastfed my son until he was two and the weaning was fine. I too felt some pressure that he was getting too big for the breat. Since you're breastfeeding twice right now, I would gradually cut out the least favorite one first but let her know in advance. You can substitute a sippy cup of milk for that time. Once she has adapted to that one, gradually reduce the other time and again replace with a sippy cup while cuddling and reading, etc. I think we worry too much when we are first time moms, but really, this time is so precious and if the two of you want to continue breastfeeding, don't let others make you feel bad about it. She is still very young.

Good luck.

I breast fed all three of my children and all for different lengths of time. My first 13 months, second 27 months, and third 20 months. I believe that you should end the brest feeding once you no longer enjoy it or want to do it. If you still enjoy breastfeeding her than it should be fine untill her second birthday. After then it seems a little too long to me personally. Just do whatever you feel is right and don't give in to preasure from friends and family. You are doing the very best thing for her! Also I thought my 20 month old son would NEVER stop breastfeeding! He still nursed at night and throughout the day on demand. I was shocked that after one week of going cold turkey he actually had forgotten about nursing! It may be easier than you think.

I nursed all 4 of children. My oldest (14) nursed the longest. He was 18 months when I weaned him and only then cause I was pregnant. My other 3 all strangely weaned themselves at 9 mos, only wanting to nurse when upset.. With my oldest, by the time I was ready to wean him he was only taking the breast before bed or a nap and when he wanted to be comforted.
The rest of your family is not ultimately responsible for your daughter's mental and emotional well-being. Only wean if you are ready for it, not because of pressure. Ours is the only society that still snickers at the thought of a breast in a childs mouth or breasts being a source of food as well as pleasure. If you are ready to wean then start tapering off her sessions if possible. The less you nurse the less you make, however if you stop cold-turkey, you will become engorged. If this is the method you chose I suggest tylenol, a tighter bra, cold compresses to ease the discomfort and an alternate soother for your daughter (something soft and comforting, I used a small blanket I slept with for a week so it smelled like me). If at all possible try not to stimulate let down with warm showers or compresses. Even if you nurse her once or twice a day you will still experience engorgement, however in this case it is ok to use showers and warm compresses. I am fond of taking a clean diaper, wet it down (not soaking, just damp) and microwave it for 30-45 secs. These fit very nicely over the breast and can be worn inside a bra.
And just remember, no matter what you do (wean or not) she wont be nursing by the time she gets to grade school.
Best wishes
J.

Also all my children are very well adjusted, great self soothers, and extremely affectionate; all of which I atribute to allowing them to nurse for comfort.

The right age is when one of you feels they are ready to stop. North America has some funny views on breastfeeding (boobs are sexual not functional) where much of the world stops around 4 - 5 years of age and can even go up to 7 years! There is increased immunity in the milk after 2 years and again after 3 years. I found kellymom(dot)com to be a great resource.
Also breastfeeding is between you and your child, if need be just don't tell anyone else if you don't want to worry about the kidding.
If you are really wanting to stop then just slowly start leaning away from it. If she asks but is not upset if you say no then just cuddle at that time instead. We weaned by getting down to once a week and then once every 1.5 to 2 weeks. I would let him if he was quite upset if I said no (then I knew he needed that connecting time) but otherwise we would cuddle and move on. I found the gradual stop was best for both of us and I did not have any pain once we were stopped fully. (I also got to keep more of my new bigger boobs!)

I breast fed all 5 of my children until they were at least two,loved the bonding experience and it made them a happier child because of it......when the time is right for baby and you, you will know......love them while they are young and need you because it will change and you may really miss the beauty of the close sharing time, while breast feeding....

Ok let me say upfront, I am pro breastfeeding till three. That being said. I think it's time to stop when you feel you no longer want to. Don't listen to me or the main stream, listen to you and your child.

I have a few boundries, no grabbing, no nursing when my body doesn't want to be touched, no nursing in public (in general from the age of two). I decided I'm only having one child and I don't mind that she nurses even if our culture cuts the babies off at 6mo to 1yr. This is not about what others do here or in china it's about me and my connection to me and my baby. My husband shakes his head...........so do a few others......... oh well at the end of it all I will know that I did what felt right and Adrienne love to nurse and will stop when she wants to. I never ask her to nurse it's allways her idea. Listen to your soul and look you child in the eyes and you will know what to do and when to stop

Dear I.,

The right age to wean is a decision you will need to make based on your sole judgement. When I hear women say they feel they are being pressured to quit I get ticked off. Who has the right to tell anyone what is right for children other than their own! Okay, I'm off my soap box.

I weaned my daughter at 27 months and I'd have gone longer if I didn't need to start medical treatment. I had put it off as long as I could so my daughter could get the benefits of breast milk. Here is how I did it:

First I limited nursing to naps, night time and morning.
Then, I limited it to night time and morning.
Last, just to night time.
Cutting out the last feeding was really hard. I cried for days (am tearing up now) It was easier on her than I thought.

Nursing my daughter was the most beautiful experience of my life. If it has been a positive time for you than forget about everyone else and just take her in with all your senses. Listen to her breathe and swallow, look into her eyes as she strokes your face or neck. I recommend having a close friend take a picture from over your shoulder of her nursing. I have one and though it's slightly out of focus, it's a reminder for me of a bond no one else has with my daughter. Good luck I..

J. P

Check out www.007b.com for interesting points of view on this.

First of all, the "right" time to stop breastfeeding is completely up to you. I had a similar experience with my second child. She loved the breast and wouldn't take a bottle at all! I had to go back to work so it was imperitive that she eat from a bottle. My husband and I used a lot of patience and for about a week only offered her the bottle during the day. She got upset but we didn't force her to take the bottle, we would just offer it and if she refused we would set it aside and offer again about 15 minutes later. Eventually, she would be hungry enough that she would allow us to feed her with the bottle. After two days of that she figured it out and the rest of the week went smoothly on that schedule. She was then able to take either breast or bottle, whichever she was offered. Now she is completely bottle fed which makes working a lot easier on me since I don't have to take breaks to pump. I hope this helps. Good luck.

I nursed my daughter until she was once month shy of her 5th birthday. She stopped, sadly, because she said I had no more milk. I said it was bound to happen sometime! I have always cherished the time nursing with Emma, and so has she. I think it really supported her to be independent and confident and solid in herself.

Did you know that the world average ago to stop nursing--according to the World Health organization--is five! We're pretty skewed in this country regarding what we think "normal" nursing practices are.

blessings, M.

It's really hard to break the emotional comfort you get from breastfeeding, especially if those are your times with your baby. But, your friends and relatives are correct, "you are the parent." When your daughter needs consoling hug her, dance around, anything else. If you maintain that the only way she will be comforted, you will be nursing her well into high school. :) If you're ready to stop nursing, then the time is right. Offer a bottle during the nursing times or if you nurse in the morning - go directly to breakfast and offer milk in a cup. However you do it, your baby will be just fine, afterall, whole generations of babies have been weaned and lived to tell about it. Good luck

When it isn't fun/enjoyable for one or both of you. If you and baby are still enjoying it tell your family to leave you alone, you're the parent and it is working for you! If YOU want to quit, then offer her a lovey. Rather than resorting to busting out the breast, bust out the lovey to soothe her. She is at the perfect age to respond to a lovey. You'll know when the right time is for you and baby - you won't have to ask anyone!

As long as both Mom and child are comfortable with continuing, it is completely normal to be breastfeeding your 15 month old daughter. This is the policy of the American Acadamy of Pediatrics. The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding continue for at least two years. As your daughter gets older, it can be important to create boundaries about when and where it is appropriate to breastfeed so she is not lifting up your shirt in the supermarket. But it sounds like you have already done this by limiting feedings to mornings and evenings. I encourage you to continue if you are comfortable. You daughter reaps many benefits including excellent nutrition, physical and emotional bonding, and continuing to get your immune cells (antibodies). Check out http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/breastfeeding/... for more info.

The world health organization recommends breast feeding for the first 2 years of a child's life. The United States is one of the few countries where we think breastfeeding for the first 6 months to a year is enough if not too much. Some kids are not ready to give it up yet. I encourage you to not listen to your family members but to yourself. If YOU truly do not want to breast feed your baby anymore you need to wean her slowly. Cut down the duration of your feedings and try hard to distract her and comfort her in other ways when she is distraught. You need to follow your motherly instinct on this one... if both you and your daughter are still happy to breast feed then don't stop.

My son is 18 months and still breastfeeding 3-4 times a day. I think it's wonderful and love the closeness we still share. It's perfectly okay for you to still be breastfeeding, unless of course, you no longer want to. Although I have no advice on the topic of weaning, you certainly have my support!

I understand where you are at. Society tells us to wean or children. But in actuality that is a social construct placed on us, in many cultures , even in other western countries, it is not abnormal to breast feed as long as you feel comfortable, or by the time they start a strong social life. Research is debateable to the extent of your breastmilk nutrients passed 2 years. It sounds like you are somewhat limiting the amounts of breast time. Even if you changed breastfeeding to just evening that might make later transitions better. I breastfed my son up to 2 years (as he reached closer to two it was intermitent). Your daughter is most likely use to the habit, the closeness, and the relaxing aspect of breast feeding. I recommend replacing morning feedings and other time feedings with snuggle time and a bottle. If you start teaching her now that those times are great for closeness and snuggling, it can make the transition easier. Now my son is 11 and it is tradition to wake up with hugs and go to bed with hugs. He is not overtly clingy, he is a well rounded individiual. So do not worry, if you can start setting some boundaries she will learn to respect them and know that she still gets the love.

People thought m son would never ween himself either, as he was such an avid nurser. But he did at around 2 3/4 years. Just like that! If your family and friends are ignorant about the long term health benefits for you and your child, check out the Mothering Magazine Website for great articles on how it dramatically improves the baby's health over a lfe time, increases intelligence, and reduces mommas risk of breast cancer (40 % less) and diabetes (15 5 less for each year you breast feed).
The scientific research is in to support all claims!

There is no right age. I breastfed my kids past age 3. The decision should take into account your daughter's experience, its meaning and its importance to her, its impact on the connection between the 2 of you, your comfort and enjoyment, and its impact on your fatigue and functioning. Medical researchers report that breastfeeding continues to give mothers some protection against breast cancer as long as they are breastfeeding and for about 6 months afterward. The discomfort of your family and friends come from their lack of understanding and appreciating the centrality of nursing in the mother-child relationship throughout human history. It is only in recent history that certain cultural norms have cast judgment on this very normal activity. Ask yourself why you think you should stop. Is it because you are embarrassed, feel shame based on what others are saying, or feel it means there is something wrong with you as a parent? Or is it because it's too physically draining, you feel done sharing your body in such an intimate way, or want to encourage your daughter's use of her other parent for comfort and breastfeeding interferes with this? Hold yours and your daughter's experience as the most important factors in this decision. Ask family and friends with their own judgments or agendas to respect your own parenting decisions and your capacity to know what the right thing is for the 2 of you.

If you decide that stopping is best for you and your daughter, your job as the parent will be to comfort your baby in her grief and expect that there may (or may not) be a time period in which she is more agitated, or sleep and eating changes, or less frustration tolerance, or more meltdowns. If so, accept whatever feelings she has and actively help her find ways to receive comfort from you. Communicate in words and actions to her that you are doing this together, that you will help her get through this. You can tell her stories of her being a baby and all the baby things she did and all the new things she learned and has enjoyed doing as she has grown. And take the story through the current change with stopping breastfeeding and add something new that she can look forward to doing as she continues to grow and change. And describe the ways that you are still there as her main special person.

First of all, I must remind you that your intuition as a mother is incredibly powerful and should stand far above any advice or chastising from your family and friends. Why is it that we Americans are so WEIRD about the concept of breastfeeding? Why isn't it considered WEIRD to wean our babies of breastmilk and then feed them COW breastmilk through adulthood!?!?!? The World Health Organization recommends breasfeeding for at least 2 years. This is something that many moms aren't able to do because of work and a busy schedule so I think you're lucky to be able to. I think you've developed a great system for reducing the number of breastfeedings. Allowing your baby to nurse when upset isn't 'giving in' or 'spoiling', it's merely nurturing your child and comforting them with the exact tools that nature has intended! I think you need to revisit all the wonderful benefits that breastfeeding gives in order to boost your self confidence. Good luck dealing with those who are in judgement of something so wonderful and designed to work. (Breasts don't come with a manual that says how to use and when to stop...so how can anyone know the right time? It's all inside YOU as a momma!)

Hi I.,
I nursed my first daughter (now is 3) until she was 21 months. She was just like your daughter and didn't want to say goodbye to my milk. After I decided to stop nurse her, I first told her that I have a boo-boo, and I put a bandaid on both nipple in advance. Then I showed them to her. She said:"Sorry Mommy." I did that for about 2 weeks. She looked at them everyday. After 2 weeks, she forgot about it. And I didn't need the bandaid anymore. It works. She only cried the first day or so. Your daughter is 15 months. She is ready if you are. You need to relax and don't think it is a big deal, she will accept it. Trust me. I told a couple of my friends, they all did the same things. The kids are just fine. H. S

Wow, you're getting such good advice here. I'm glad to see such healthy ideas about breastfeeding. I agree - there is no right time to stop. It's what works for you and your little one. When other people comment and ask when you plan on stopping breastfeeding, tell them that you haven't decided yet, but that you think it's probably going to be a lot harder once she heads off to college ;-) .

There is no right time to stop breastfeeding, expect what is comfortable for you. Your daughter is still benefitting from all aspects of it, a great deal. My daughter was doing the same as yours at 15 months, I had to wean her because I was pregnant and too tired to breastfeed and be pregnant. I started giving her a bottle in bed cuddling with me in the morning and then added one at night after a few days and we were done. The first couple times she looked at me like "this is not what's supposed to happen" but it was a good transition.

Hi I.. I don't think there is a RIGHT time. It's up to you and if people clown you, so what? It's your life and your little one.
I breastfed my daughter those last two feedings (like you are doing) until she was two, then switched over to a little bit of milk in a sippy cup. It wasn't easy (emotionally) to do, but sometimes the baby accepts it better than you might think!
So if it were me, I'd say find another "soother" so that you are no longer doing that randomly (if you truly want to wean her), and then maybe be prepared to offer an alternative for AM and night. Good luck! You obviously love your daughter very much!
~ Kim

Hello, as to the WHEN -- that's your own personal choice made with your child in mind. The American Academy of Pediatrics advocates nursing to one year old. The World Health Organization advocates breastfeeding until at least two years old. The average age to wean a child worldwide is 4 years old. No matter how long you decide to nurse your child, there will be health benefits for you and the child.

As to HOW -- please tell me if you figure it out! I decided to breastfeed my son until at least two years old. He is 18 months old right now. I love our bond. It's easy to get him to sleep or to calm down by simply offering a breast to him. I breastfeed him only at night before bed and during the night since I work all day. It looks to me as though he will never stop breastfeeding on his own. He doesn't do pacifiers, bottles, or have a "lovie" of any sort.

Although I love breastfeeding him and the feelings of love and security that he experiences, I sorely miss my sleep. I have no idea how to transition him from breastfeeding to not when the time comes.

I breast fed my 3 kids like you. One quit at 15 months, but the other two were two and two and half. When they are ready they will quit. I think they must need it for a reason.

Well, the time to stop nursing is between your daughter and you, so don't worry about what other family members say. If you still enjoy it & she still wants it, let her. The AVERAGE age for weaning is between 4 and 6 years if you look at all the worlds cultures, and breast milk is the best food for your baby. I nursed all 4 of my boys, the longest was for 20 1/2 months - I would have gone longer, but my doctor told me to quit because I was pregnant with twins (yes, I nursed them for a year). If you want to wean her, or just need some support, you can consult La Leche League. http://www.llli.org/FAQ/wean.html is an article on weaning and links to other sources. Good luck!

I finally had to stop at 17 months. He was waking me up at all hours to breastfeed, we also used to cosleep because of this. I was desperate and did it cold turkey. First we put our leather rocking recliner in my son's room and when it was time to go to sleep I rocked him to sleep and stayed in the recliner. It was actually pretty comfortable and we both slept pretty well, he was on my chest and being in that position seemed to be enough for him. He stopped asking for "naps" in about a week and a half, just when my milk supply finally started to dwindle. It was the least traumatic way I could think of doing it. Now he sleeps in his own room and bed! That is another story...

Hi, When I was breast feeding my now 27 year old son (I lived in Berkeley).. the new wisdom was let them come off the breast when they want... well my son didn't want to stop till he
was three... at this point he was saying "Breast Mom-please"...it was at times embarrassing
..and my mother living in Florida was freaked out...and wouldn't let me come to visit till he
was off the breast while he was a toddler. Welll... when he was 36 months the breast feeding
was limited to the times you mention. He only had about one week after we stopped that he
was upset. I am sooooo glad that I did decide to breast feed. He is so healthy. Never sick and
did not suffer many of the ear infections, colds, flu that many of his other friends did at the time. He is 6'2", strong and I think, along with my doctor, that breast feeding provided a nice
foundation that has served him well. It was an inconvenience at times but worth it. Best, F....

If you are comfortable nursing longer, then try to have the strength and confidence that it is your decision.
It is very healthy for you to nurse your toddler as long as possible.
look at the Mothering Magazine website for articles about breastfeeding your toddler...I think this will help you to have answers and feel stronger.
My advice...stick with it, the baby will only need you in this way once in a lifetime.

Hm. Well, if the only reason you are wanting to stop is because family and friends are clamoring, then why stop? The World Health Organization and European officials, too, suggest that women breastfeed for AT LEAST 2 years. The benefits of breastfeeding - to mom and baby - continue for as long as you continue to do it. There was recently an article in Mothering Magazine about the benefits of 'extended' breastfeeding, and it is truly amazing. I want to copy it and send it to all of MY relatives who, already at my baby only being 9 months old, are asking when I'm gong to stop. I don't feel that I'd want to nurse as much as I am now in even a few months, and I won't be interested in nursing a 2 year old in public (sorry, not my bag), but I feel like as long as I am OK with it and my daughter is OK with it, I will continue to do it. That's my two cents.

HOW to stop - Now, if you have decided that you're truly finished with nursing, which is your choice and I support moms in doing what feels best to them, then start diminishing the nursing times minute by minute. Explain to your baby what is happening as you are going along. Once you get down to 3-5 minutes, your baby doesn't really 'need' the milk from you anymore.

How great you are still nursing! But it sounds like you're ready to wean. I stopped when my son was 1 year and 1 week, and wished I'd gone a few more months. Try eliminating the morning feeding, and only nurse once at night. Then you can nurse once every other night for a few days and use or reintroduce a pacifire for a night time rock/snuggle when you're not nursing. If you hold your daughter close with the pacifire, as if she's nursing, and she's already had a bottle of milk - she should be content an go to sleep as your body stops producing milk altogether. You may need to express a little "leftovers" in the shower, but supply and demand will put a halt to it! Good luck, you're a good mommy!

I am the mother of 8 children - all breastfed. With each it was a little different. Sometimes, the next pregancy meant it was time to wean. Sometimes, the child weaned him/herself naturally. Sometimes, I had to help them grow up a little. I think most of them went longer than a year, at least one still wanted to nurse at night around 3.

Do what feels right and comfortable to you. Your health, your heart, your schedule.

Most of all, enjoy being a mother!

My thoughts are that nursing is a personal choice. Like every aspect of parenting, everyone is going to have an opinion about what you are doing and how. Well, you have to listen but you don't have to react. I think the quiet bonding between a mother and her nursling is the most increadible experience, one that only those living it can understand. You are providing your baby with a physical need but you are also fulfilling an emotional need at a time when your little person is going through some intense changes.
There is nothing wrong with this.
You may see your baby as a small child now, she's getting bigger, more independant, walking, etc. But trust me, she's still a baby. She is gaining freedoms she doesn't know how to deal with. You comfort nursing is helping her to develop her sense of self while still being connected to you.
You stop breastfeeding when it no longer works for you and your baby. If you are wildly uncomfortable with the situation, if you are always thinking about stopping at every feeding, if you are having to really work at producing milk, then maybe it's time to stop. Most likely, it will be you who initiates the weaning, but you could be suprised. Baby may just stop one day.
I had the same reaction from people when I nursed my son for as long as I did. My son showed no signs of stopping when I weaned him at 16 months. I had a hard time maintaining a pregnancy and made the tough choice to wean in order to have another baby. It was very difficult for me to explain to outsiders why I was or wasn't nursing, but everyone seemed to think it was their buisness. Mentioning miscarrige just seemed crass but I had defended my choice to nurse into toddlerhood for so long that everyone wanted to know why I had suddenly stopped. My point is, now I know that I just don't have to say anything about my choices, whatever they are.
I am now 7 months into nursing my baby girl. I plan to nurse for the first year and then take it from there. That's what I say. Hope I was helpful. Email me if you'd like some tips on weaning. Chante

I started weaning my daughter from daytime "nips" when she was 16 months old too! When she was bored, sad, tired, or frustrated, she liked to soothe herself with the breast. I decided to keep it in my shirt and keep her busy and happy by any method possible - distraction, stepping outside, going to parks, and NOT sitting in places where she was used to nursing. I cut out the morning feeding shortly thereafter and then the evening one at 22 months. That was the toughest one, as she's an EXCELLENT sleeper and I didn't want her to start waking up during the night to nurse. Thankfully, I have a helpful husband and a smart little girl. I simply avoided putting her to bed for a week and had my husband do it. By then, she was used to not nursing during the day. I told her stories about baby animals and baby people who need their mothers milk, but then when they're big enough to eat lots of good healthy food, they don't need to nurse anymore. After a week of being put to bed by daddy, I took over the bedtime routine again. We sat down in the place where I normally nursed and sang her to sleep. She said, "It's nappy nursy time, mummy." I gently reminded her about what we'd been talking about - animals and babies, etc. - and she said, OK, Nappy time." And that was it. No tears, no fighting, no waking up at night. A smooth transition...

So you decide if you really want to give it up cold turkey. I was advised to do that (even by my mother!) and it just didn't feel right - I knew my girl would be so sad if I did that. It took me 6 months to fully wean her. I too thought she'd give it up on her own and had to take charge of it when she didn't - but taking charge doesn't have to be painful for either of you. Just try what I did: keep her busy for now and soothe her with hugs and kisses (not food!) during the day when she needs comfort or when she's bored. When you're really ready to stop the evening breastfeed (my favourite part of the day for a long time, and so hard to give up!), try what I did. Remember, she needs comfort and love at bed time - that doesn't HAVE to come from your breast!
Good luck.
K. in EC

I am currently breastfeeding my 23 month old daughter and have no plans to stop at this time. I am a part time nurse and full time grad student with a total of four children. It's a sensitive topic when family and friends make comments to the breastfeeding issue. I've basically ignored them and have decided to continue nursing. Though I only breasfeed at night, the bonding is treasured. With my busy schedule, it gives me some one to one time with her. Enjoy it the special time with her = They grow up too fast!

First, try to follow your instincts and dont listen to the people around you. You are the mother and you will know/feel what is better for your baby. About breastfeeding I personal think that she will wean when she feels ready. If you are ok soothing her with the breast and is not interrupting your sleep then why not to continue breastfeeding? She will stop when she is ready to stop. If you have doubts about it try to call la leche league and talk with them about it: http://www.llli.org/

If YOU want to stop breastfeeding then there is a book called "The Nursing Mother's Guide to Weaning" which describes several different approaches on how to do so. That said, if you wish to continue (as is sounds like your daughter does) please know that this is normal and natural (though often hidden in this country). Most children will completely self wean between 2 and 5 years of age. As the parent you may definitely set limits on associated behaviour (how to ask, when is appropriate, etc). There are still physical benefits for your daughter continuing to receive your milk at this age (such as a stronger, normal, healthy immune system), however discontinuing may still be the right choice for you. No one else should make the decision for you. What ever you decide, make it an informed choice then accept you made the best choice you could with the information you had. That is all we can ever do as parents.
K. H

Do not let others clowning bother you. When you are ready your baby will be ready too. My son is 18 months and I just weaned him at 17 months at Christmas, I thought it was going to be awful and by New Year's he completely forgot about it. When the time is right for you is when you should stop. Good luck!

Hi,
I think you are just acting on your natural mother instincts. I say keep the breast-milk going as long as it helps and works for you. People always want to tell you what to do, especially when it comes to parenting. Our society is just not used to seeing a toddler on the breast, and in the seventies mom's (in Germany) didn't even breast-feed at all. At least we as a society realized that it must mean something that we produce this perfect food when we become mothers.
Anyway there is no right age to stop breast-feeding, you will know when you are done with it.
My older boy stopped at 3 1/2 and my little one is 2 1/2 and still going strong with it, but I might be done with it soon.

Hope this helps
T.

The WHO says 2 yrs old and thats best for the babe but it really is up to you. What is your heart and instinct telling you? DOnt let others make you do something neither of you is ready to do....
As for the HOW...I dont know, Im still breastfeeding my 19 mo old with no end in sight. Good luck!

Had to say something when I read that your friends are teasing you. Nursing is one of the most wonderful things you can do for your child. Increases IQ and immunities, decreases chances for obsesity in your child later in life and breast cancer for you. There is no text book "right time"to stop. It's a personal decision between you and child, and should not be a cultural or social pressured decision. Whenever you are ready then wean slowly over a few months. Especially because you state this is a nurturing and reassuring bond when she is stressed. Soothe her for a fewminutes, then while still cuddling her try giving her juice. Maybe she'll learn it's the holding, not only the milk that means you love her. Good luck!

I weened my son - 1 month before his second birthday. He was mostly ready to by then. He would still want to talk about having "Gooey" but when I told him there was no more - it was all gone he understood that. My daughter weened herself at about 10 months. I would have liked her to nurse longer but she had no interest in it.

Here is my advice - Tell your friends to BUTT OUT!! But be nicer then that - you are her mother, you are with her, if you are working- it is a great way to bond with your daughter (share some down time). You are the only one who should be making these decisions. If you and your daughter are not ready to ween yet - don't! and be confident in your mothering skills.

You are the best person to make these personal decisions about your family. There really is no right or wrong answer here. If you are okay with your situation - GREAT - own it and be confident. If you need to start weening, start slowly. But above all else - don't let others dictate when you stop nursing your baby.

Hi I.,

I have 4 children and they all stopped breastfeeding right around 18 months. One stopped a little earlier but they all just lost interest and that was that. Don't worry about what other people say, do what feels right to you. Good Luck!

Why Stop? I'm still nursing my 2 year old, your daughter will stop when you both are ready. Relax, ignore the snide remarks and enjoy.

I have an eighteen month old daughter who was doing the same thing. She has just recently began weaning herself. Hopefully this will continue. So....my advice is that if you have devoted this much time towards your breastfeeding don't let others sway you and your daughter away. We as mothers sense when our child isn't ready to begin the weaning process. So stay committed until the time is right. :)

Hi there,
Well, I'm proud to say that I nursed my son until he was 2 1/2 years old. I didn't force him to stop, but I did cut back how often I nursed him. He nursed in the morning and at night. I talked to him about how he was getting to be a big kid and big kids didn't have "bumbum." It's unfortunate that people aren't open to breastfeeding. There's nothing wrong with your child still wanting to nurse. It's the most basic and natural thing to do. I'm sorry that people aren't more supportive. Believe me that nursing as long as you can is the healthiest for your daughter and it creates a lasting bond that is just magical.
I won't say that it wasn't hard for me not to want to cut him off cold turkey from the breast, you have to think about whether there's some selfishness involved (i'm not judging you, i'm speaking for myself). The hardest was not to nurse on command. That's part of the process of letting the child find self-soothers, not the breast.
Good luck!

I went through this too. You need to have your husband step up to the plate here. Were her bottle feedings with formula or breast milk? If formula, she should be used to the taste. If not, start now mixing pumped breast milk and formula and put in the bottle. Or your pediatrician may have recommended that you now give her regular milk. Your husband should then give her the bottles in the morning and evening (you should be in a separate room so there is no chance she goes for you--if she fusses, he's her only choice, bottle or nothing). If know it sounds harsh, but I tried giving the bottle but it didn't work, it had to be dad. Have you been giving her a sippy cup? Try the breast milk in there too. You have to be strong and not give in, mom. It is up to you.

World-wide, the average age to stop breastfeeding is 4.5 years. In other countries, mothers sometimes nurse two or three children at the same time (not one per breast rather . . . well, you know what I mean)

Your family doesn't want your child to be below average, do they? Tell them she's going to be above average in everything and that you are starting on that path now.

In other words, encourage them to MYOB

I. D,
Is there a particular reason why you want to stop breastfeeding? Such as you're tired of it and are getting resentful when feeding her, or because others are telling you a baby shouldn't be breastfed past 12 months? I could be wrong, but it sounds a bit like you don't really want her to stop either. :) All the research shows that there is absolutely no harm to breastfeeding for a long time, and that it even continues it's protective benefits as long as you continue, so there shouldn't be any worries about "damaging" your daughter by letting her continue to breastfeed.
As for stopping, if that is what you really want to do, you'll have to decide upon another way to soothe her, be firm, and reassure her that you still love her very much. Sometimes having another person soothe her while you leave is productive, as that will break the connection your daughter has made between comfort and your breast.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

Do what feels right to you and not the other adults in your family.
I breastfed my first for 35 months and my second for 22.
There are so many benefits for you and your baby, higher IQ for them and less risk of breast cancer for you. Tell your family that!
And mornings and evening are a perfect place to be at 16 months!
What a special way to bond.....

Hi,

Breastfeeding is such an amazing experience. It's up to you to decide when you are ready to stop, and if that's today, fine, but if it's in another year, that's ok too. I nursed my first daughter until she was 16 and half months old. I was pretty much ready to stop, so we just switched to one feeding a day, then she got a bad cold and fever, and couldn't nurse (because she couldn't breathe enough to) and it ended there because she hadn't nursed in a week, and when I tried again it hurt really bad. She had one night where she screamed for about an hour, because she wanted to so bad, but I physically couldn't anymore, and I thought it was time. I nursed my second daughter for 11-1/2 months, and it was kind of mutual. I was ready to wean and then she started weaning herself. Anyways, how long you nurse is up to you and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Good luck!

Hi I.
My name is Stacie I am the mother of four daughters. My first question is, do you and your baby enjoy breast feeding? Is there a medical reason why you must stop? As long as the two of you enjoy it, and you are able to continue I see no reason not too.Years ago,many years ago children where breast fed till they were three years of age. In society today we are in such a hurry to make our children more independent that we loose out on the special things that mother hood is. The reason I am saying this, even though you asked for help I did not get the impression from your writing that you were wanting to stop. I wish you all the joys of mother hood that are out there.

There is no right time to stop except what feels right to you. I stopped with my first at 17 mo and my second at 16 mo. I was very in charge with the first I cut down the time I gave her the breast slowly and eventually stopped and she fussed a few times but it worked out. With the second I was going away for a long weekend and wanted to have her ready so I started a month before and just decreased the time I nursed. Like with the first, she adjusted. If you really want to stop then find a way that works for you but dont let others tell you what they think is right. It is ssooooo good for a baby to nurse, they get incredible immune system benefits! If you want to keep nursing because it feels right for both you and your daughter then keep doing it. I found a book, How Weening Works that helped me a bit. Good Luck and no worries!!

Dear I.,

I hear your concern and feel your pain. I stopped nursing my son when he was 12 months old, the minute his teeth began to break through. No was way I going to continue under that type of pain. I admit it was hard, but here's the trick that I recommend. First, now is the time to start pumping your milk if you haven't already began to do so. Take your 15 month old daughter into a dark room (lights must be off), and have a bottle of your breast milk pumped and ready to go. The milk should be room temperature. Put her in that same comfortable "breast feeding" position in your lap that she's used to, but this time give her the bottle. Avent brand bottles always worked for me. Do this for a couple nights with the lights off. After the 3rd or 4th night turn the lights on and let her see that she's drinking from the bottle. Applaud her for drinking from the bottle, and encourage her to hold the bottle herself. Praise her when she is able to do so. That's what did the trick for me. Good luck : )

~L. Jackson

When do you want to stop?
nutritionally/medically 2 is a good cut off. mother's milk is not necessary past that point.
my first girl weaned herself at 14 months. it broke my heart but i enjoyed not smelling like sour milk anymore.
my second girl showed no signs of wanting to quit the boob. she was on a cup and i had stopped pumping at 14 months. by 16 months i was ready to be done (sort of) and we worked on only getting booby time at night. then we eased off. she was very upset and would try to grab my breasts out of my shirt. If she showered and dried off with me she would dive it to try to sneak a sip. Once she understood that the booby was not 'hers' anymore she was fine. the hard part is for us mommys. i still miss that closeness and cuddle time. enjoy your little girl as long as it is working for both of you.
S.

First of all - I know people that breastfed until the kid was 4 or 5 - so don't be too hard on yourself. There are plenty of people that think there is nothing wrong with breastfeeding a 16 month old and actually do it on purpose.
However if you don't want to do it anymore - you are the parent - you are in charge. Set up a weaning schedule and stick to it. For instance - maybe in the beginning you should limit it to mornings and evenings and stop the soothing in between. That sounds like a very bad habit - try to sooth her in some other way or just let her cry. You don't want to be breaking out the breast at preschool - that would be pretty embarrassing.

Sounds like me when I tried to wean my daughter. My plan was 12 months. Couldn't stop and when she was 14 months and I had to leave on a business trip for 3 days. I thought that she wouldn't survive without me especially during the night. She was fine and forgot about breastfeeding when I came home. I recommend you plan a weekend away and be prepared for being engorged. You will need a sports bra 24 hours. Good luck!

I am a proponent of Child led weaning ...allowing baby to stop when s/he is ready to. My 31 month old dd still nurses though primarily only at night or when she is ill or injured or very upset. The American Academy of Pediatrics just released new research that shows there are NO psychological or other harms from nursing your child past 2 or even 3 years of age.

I think it's important to recognize that it is because most people in our culture are ill-informed about breastfeeding and its benefits that extend beyond just nutrition.

Some good info on weaning, and specifically child-led weaning is here: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/how_weaning_happens.html

And you might also check out Livejournal's Extended Nursing blog: http://community.livejournal.com/extendednursing/profile