Hi there..
I have a friend who wanted me to post as she is not on this.
she has two girls that are 6 and 7 years old and a 4 year old boy. When do you think it is inapporpriate to stop taking shower/baths with the children? When is it inappropriate for the opposite sex(parent) to stop taking baths/showers with the child? do you allow the child to bath themselves completely without help and not be in the room? My husband and I are not sure.. Thank you and thank you to my friend for posting for me.
These were her questions that I cut and pasted.. Thank you Ladies!!!!!!!!
I think that is a very personal choice and they need to do what is right for them. The older the child gets, the parent just needs to be prepared to answer questions about the differences in bodies.
Finially a free spirted person that finally chimes in. Thank you Riley J. I would just say, raise your children they way you want them to be when they get older. You finally have someone in your life you can teach and mold into someone you can be proud of. If you want your child to have filings of embarrassment towards their body, then hide their body and teach them nudity is the devil. If you want your children to grow up and feel comfortable in their skin, and not be naive enough to accept the pressuring cultural trends of what is beautiful and what is ugly, then teach them nudity is natrual - a part of nature. Let them enjoy the feeling of jumping in a pool naked at any age, and experience that everyone's body is different and beautiful. I grew up in a family were My dad and mom never cared if I saw them naked. Though they did not walk around in the nude every chance they got, they never shielded themselves when I saw them taking care of business and or changing in their bedroom. They did teach me the importance of modesty and privacy, but the most important rule was being naked did not have the be sexual. I showered with my brother younger brother until I was 12 and old enough to shower on my own. I was potty trained at an early age but my mom made sure I was safe when in public and kept a close eye whether I joined her in the womans restroom or stood gaurd next to the mens restroom door when I started to go to the mens room by my self. Age and innocence has nothing to do with nudity. I'm a massage therapsit and I'm around nudity all the time. I continue to learn that everybody is different, and I'm neither turned on or disgusted when massaging a stranger. Did you know prepubisent, teenage and adult males can have an errection without any type physical, mental or visual sexual contact. I remember I could be sitting in the classroom and having the most embarrassing feeling when a errection would occur, and I feared having to stand and leave the class till it subsided.
I suggest teaching your children how to respect others showing them that nudity is normal. Their bodies are to be enjoyed as God intended. I truely believe it is the public that restricts us from feeling comfort in our own bodies. You have the chance to show your children that everyone is beautiful. Let them learn, however you see fit.
The 6 & 7 year old should not be showering with any adults as they are old enough to be curious and unless you think they're old enough to have "the talk" with, it should be stopped. I think even 4 might be too old, especially with the opposite parent. Obviously we stay in there and watch her but my 19 month old loves to take a shower by herself and no one showers with my step-daughter and she's 5.
It all depends on the family and culture.
My Hubby grew up in Europe... they don't have the same ideas about "bathing" and "nudity" as we do. They just see bathing as bathing. Not naked bodies in water. But nowadays, in light of crimes against children, attitudes toward what is right and wrong are changing.
However, once a child starts to want more modesty or privacy... then that should be respected. BUT, you need to be aware of safety, because an accident can happen anytime... from drowning to getting scalded/burned by a child turning on a "hot" water faucet etc., or they can slip and fall. You never "leave" a child, that age, alone in a bath.... you can sit right outside the door... and peek in occasionally or keep talking story with them.
Just as a head's up: do NOT tell others, if you/Hubby are showering/bathing with your children at that age... because some may think its weird and call CPS on you. It has happened before, but with a friend co-sleeping. Her daughter, who was 7 at the time, told her Teacher she slesps with her Parents. The Teacher thought is was inappropriate and called CPS on them. So... nowadays... there are these aspects as well, upon daily "normal" family life.
All the best,
Susan
my personal thought is that once they start noticing the differences in bodies is when you should stop. my daughter is almost 3 and isnt allowed to bath with my husband i still occaisionally shower with her (when in a hurry). you can put the girls in the bath together but i would think the boy should be separate. this is just my opinion though. every family has different views on whats acceptable nudity wise.
