Hi Mommies, Hi Daddies!
A while back I wrote a post ranting and raving about my future mother- in -law well, here’s the update. I have no Mother-in-law, not because something happened to her but because there was no wedding. The blessed event was set to be on June 22 of this year and boy would it have been an event to be remembered, complete with fireworks, sparklers and glow in the dark drink stirrers, everything needed to make a party unforgettable. However, as perfect as my wedding would have been, my relationship was far from it. I have no regrets, no anger, no lingering what ifs. The fact of the matter was although we did love each other we didn’t have that icky, sticky glue type of love that makes true love true. Most of the time I felt as if I was in a room full of people and yet I felt more alone than ever-even when he was standing right next to me. After two years we called it quits. There was no show-down; no dramatic exits, nothing to show the other there was still passion in our non-existent relationship. And even though I didn’t get the show-down I secretly hoped for (biting your tongue for 2 years can do that to a person) I was happy. Looking back, I see the words poetic justice coming to mind when I remember how happy I was planning the wedding of the century and not seeing that the one thing that made me re-claim my passion for planning events was the same thing that condemned my relationship to an early grave. I was raised to believe that even in the worst moments there is a lesson to learn you just have to open- apparently I was really open to learning. I learned a lot the last couple months of my relationship, some lessons were new and others were old ones that I needed to be reminded of. One of the most important lessons I learned is that if someone doesn’t love me the way I am, size and shape included then they don’t deserve me-no matter what size or shape I happen to be. Planning brought out my super random, kooky, sometimes over zealous creative side and although my fiancé was happy to not be included on the plans he was not happy that I had acquired the back bone I had severely been lacking. As the saying goes- I got my groove back. I felt on top of the world, not because I was getting married but because I was back in my element, I was doing something that I felt I was unmatched in and yes sometimes being in my element did involve movie nights in footie pjs with my three year old but I didn’t care, I was happy. My fiancé as you might have guessed did not feel the same. So, here I am working at the same job, living in the same house, raising the same son I did two years ago and I couldn’t be happier! Yes, I am single, but I am also a new cosmetology student who will be forever grateful I was fiancée who never got married.
Thank you all for the wonderful and supportive comments! Some of you have mentioned that I should be a writer, truth be told I love writing and a dream is to write a book but if I sat down to focus on writing a book it's like creative overload.... I have to write by bit and I promise I do. Others have mentioned writing a blog which I would love to do but I have no idea how- if anyone knows how to do one please contact me! As for being an events planner, I do plan on starting a career after I graduate from cosmetology. Being a student of cosmetology was more of a logical choice than anything else, after I called the owner of celebrations to cancel my wedding he had told me they have had 7 cancelations this year. Granted some of them may have just found different places but seeing as I am a single mom that was not a risk I was willing to take. Besides cosmetology gives me that creative outlet I crave
to have on a daily basis where as my events planning and writing might not. Besides, I like having a career I can go back to on hard times.
Honestly, you should speak at seminars for hs girls. A very inspirational post.
Poor fella, has NO idea what he lost.
Bravo to you.
:)
Wow, you sound like you are in a really good place. Good for you! And congrats on having the wisdom to walk away from what would have been a bad marraige. You sound like a strong woman/mama and I think you are going to be just fine! And YES you deserve a man who loves you just the way you are and don't settle for any less. Good luck!
And the best part is that you've now opened yourself up to meet your icky, sticky glue love of your life! I too left a fiancé (nearly 20 years ago) after a 5 year relationship that didn't do it for me. One year later I met the most awesome man ever. We've been married for 16 years and going strong.
Congrats to you for having the strength and confidence to do the right thing.
I LOVED reading this! So happy for you :)
You are such a BRAVE woman and you should be very proud.
The decision you made was a very mature one and you won't regret being true to yourself!
It's so much easier to get into marriage than to get out of one! You did the right thing at the right time.
The world is yours!! Enjoy and good luck!
If you two weren't meant to be for each other, it's for the best. I do wonder why you don't work in events planning, though. It sounds like you really enjoy that and it would be good for you to do it all the time.
I do hope that when love really DOES come (and the real love you seek), that you will remember that the new guy and family aren't the old guy and family - in other words, don't go into your planning expecting to have to be over-zealous like before. History need not repeat itself!
Good luck and enjoy your new found freedom~~!
Dawn
If only more had the senses and ability to follow their heart the divorce rate would be so much lower. Congrats on your exciting new life.
Awesome post! Good for you!
...maybe a side hobby-job of party planning along with the cosmetology? ;)
Congrats on getting your groove back! :-)
Sounds like you could apply all those party planning skills to another career
Best of luck!
S.!!
SOOOOOOOO HAPPY FOR YOU!! (and sad too (for the loss of a dream) but mostly HAPPY!! I'm sooo glad you put yourself and your son first!!
YOU GO GIRL!!!
If you love event planning or even wedding planning? Why not give that a shot as well? It would be a GREAT mix with a cosmetology student - you could do hair and make-up on the day of the big event!!!
YOU GO!!!!
Awesome story of a woman "finding" herself rather than getting lost in "himself".
Good for you for having the strength, and mostly self confidence to walk away from something that was not good for you or your son. It takes courage to do what you have done, and obviously it is working for you. Best of luck in your cosmetology career ( I was a hairdresser for over 25 years) I do think however you should consider becoming an author, you are an excellent writer!! Best of luck!!
Thank you for putting yourself and your child FIRST!!!
(Glow in the dark drink stirrers? Lol! )
What a wonderful post! I'm betting you have a fabulous future ahead of you!
BRAVO !!!
Oh, and what a well written piece - you should blog. I would read it.
Wow - awesome. That takes serious strength. You did the right thing! :)
S., congratulations to you!! You have a great attitude, and that is what your son needs!!! I'm sure planning a wedding and then breaking up is one of the hardest things ever. You are proving just what maturity is. Don't ever look back, just move forward!!
