Babysitting Wording

My father would often watch my son (now 3 yrs. old). He always took offense and called it "Grandson sitting." (Partly because he's a man and that's not the traditional role in that generation.... partly because, like you said, it's a joy.)

OOOOOOO I agree. It irks me too.

When a father is home taking care of his children it's called "spending quality time with his children or parenting" He is not the babysiter he is the other parent.

I watch my grandkids every once and a while and yes, I'm babysitting but I prefer to call it hanging out with the kids today.

You being a Grandma...you really are babysitting. It's not your child, so you are watching the child while mom and dad aren't there.

From the dictionary:
: to care for children usually during a short absence of the parents; broadly : to give care

Now, the husband thing. Yeah, drives me crazy. People have said that to my husband while he was out and about. "Having fun, babysitting your son?" "Not babysitting, just being a dad." he says that, and it gives people pause. One day he came home, and was like...WHY do people act like I'm father of the year, for being with my kid? I don't get it, either. That really does bother him.

I hate it when my husband refers to watching his own children as "babysitting"! It is called "parenting". No one calls it babysitting when I am with them all day.

I guess in your situation it could be considered babysitting, but I can see how you feel that it isn't. You are "grandparenting"!

I laugh when people would comment about my husband "babysitting" because when I was working as a school administrator, he was with them far more than I was. He's never "offered to babysit" the kids because he's not a sitter, he's their father. That's just us, though. When my parents offer to watch the kids or we are paying someone, it's babysitting... us? No.

You watching your grandson so that he didn't need to attend daycare IS babysitting. It was not a commentary on your daughter's parenting nor was it likely alluding to a part-time job, but if your grandson gets off the bus every single afternoon at your home because you watch him until your daughter picks him up... well, that is sort of a part time job. At minimum, it's part time volunteer work.

It irks me when people use the word in reference to parents, but in your second example, you ARE babysitting. Of course you enjoy it, just like I enjoy babysitting my nieces, but it's still babysitting. It was absolutely proper for your neighbor to ask if you were babysitting your grandson, because that's what you were doing! :)

Maybe you could coin the word "grandparenting." ;)

I might offer another perspective on this one. My parents are good enough to provide before care and after care to my DS (two years old) doing drop offs and pick ups from daycare. It means that DS's day at daycare isn't inordinately long, and isn't prohibitively expensive. On occassion they will keep him a bit longer too so that hubs and I might get a "night out." once a month or so.

When out at an industry happy hour, a childless friend remarked "so good to see you out, we'd love to see more of you." I said, its a bit difficult with a baby. She said, "oh, I'm sure your parents would love to have him all the time." I said no actually, while they love him, he is two, and can be a handful for us, and a even more of a challenge for my parents who are retired seniors. If it's such a breeze and such a joy to mind a two year old, you are welcome to come round and babysit anytime."

Funny enough, she hasn't taken me up on my offer.

Sounds like you are a loving and generous grandmother. Just know that not everyone shares your attitude or your inclination.

Best to you and yours,
F. B.

Don't put anybody down too severely for using the expression. It's just that it's such a common way of speaking they don't know how else to put it.

Many people *talk* as if anybody but the mama is a "baby sitter" when that person is taking charge for a while. It's probably because when Daddy or Aunt Millie or Cousin Ralph or Grandma is doing it, it's a short-term proposition, time-wise. "Take care of" might be better than "baby sit" - or "watch," which is another old expression for the same thing. Although I imagine you don't sit around and watch much.

You could smile and say, "I GET TO (not "have to") take care of my grandson every day, and I just love it!" This will tell your new neighbor 1) that you are not running a child care center for profit, and 2) that you love being with your grandson.

As grandma, you are babysitting because you're not the parent - BUT you can still love it :)

The dad spending time being called babysitting is annoying - you babysit a kid when it's not yours.

If you are regularly watching the grandson so his parents can go out or work, then don't take any offense to "babysitting". He is not your child, so your keeping him in your care for a regular gig is babysitting, even if it's something you love to do. My mom will be "babysitting" DD for our anniversary. But there will also be times when my mom will want to do something with DD where there's no need on my part and that will just be quality time/visiting. You can call it what you will if it bothers you, but that's the difference in my mind. So if you are watching him so they don't need daycare, then, yes, I'd consider it babysitting. My grands babysat me, even if I loved to be around them after school.

When dad looks after his own child it isn't babysitting because that child is his responsibility. When grandma is looking after a grandchild it is babysitting because looking after the child is not grandma's responsibility. So, whether you are doing it for money or as a favour it is still babysitting. If you are bothered by "babysitting" then call it a playdate or a visit. I do a lot of babysitting, both for money and as favours and I am not bothered by the word.

I agree. When either parent is with their child it is not "babysitting" (although many guys refer to it as that and it irks me)...they are being a parent.

In your case, you are babysitting. You could simply answer "yes, I am so lucky to able to do this every day". I guess if you want to express that you don't consider it a "job" you could say "You could consider it babysitting but I consider it as caring for and bonding with my grandson".

I have to wonder what the root of this is to you, but for me there is no problem.

Not at all. The word technically means to look after a child while the parents are out. So I think you are babysitting. Maybe your husband was not with his own children but I still think you are being a little sensitive. I think most people would even use the word to parents. To me it just means home making sure the kids are well taken care of. Nothing offensive to me, but somewhere along the way you seem to have gotten the idea that a babysitter is someone that does not love the child or who is less than family. Maybe that's the way it was in your family growing up.

I have been fortunate enough that no one here has refered to my husband having the kids as babysitting. We use the term currently kidless, meaning the other parent has the kid(s) or they are at daycare(s).

Perhaps it was the tone in which she used? But really if the kids are not yours , and it is done daily.. it is babysitting. Paid or not.

You are right. Sometimes "babysitting" sounds like there was no other choice. I do resent that. Because you and I know we are not babysitting. We are raising. We are helping cook, clean, do homework, attend school activities, go to dr appointments. In short, keeping a happy, balanced environment for the little guy, or gal at home. No regrets.

I agree with some of the others. I would consider anyone watching my children other than myself or my husband as a babysitter. It doesn't mean you are getting paid or not enjoying it..it just means that you are caring for someone else's children.

When it comes to fathers, I agree that they are never babysitting. They are taking care of their child, just like most parents do. I guess people, especially us older generation, consider it babysitting because in our day, the rearing of the children was pretty much a woman's domain.

Now, as for me, the grandma, sometimes I AM babysitting - if I was asked to watch the granchild. BUT other times, when I've asked the grandchild to come over or the grandchild themselves have called and asked to come over, then I'm not babysitting. I'm spending time with my grandchildren.

So, for me it depends - sometimes I do babysit.

I agree with you about saying a father or a relative is babysitting. I take care of my grandchildren from time to time and we say that I'm watching them if I'm doing so in their home and when they come to my house we say I'm taking care of them. We do not use the word, babysitting.

My grandchildren's other grandma does take care of the toddler for pay and she uses the term babysitting when she's describing her source of income but otherwise she's taking care of her.

I think the term babysitting denotes less of an emotional investment.