Babysitting Ex-girlfriends Child

hey R.,
I guess I would have to ask you what do you get out of this ?
Do you like spending time with the kid ?

Why the "torn" comment ?

Do you want to get back with her or are you ok with being friends. If friendship is good for you, then it's ok to babysit your friend's kid.

If you feel more still and think helping her is going to get you closer to her or make her feel obligated to you, then I think it's best for all to end this "friendship"

I agree with the other posts, you need to tell her you can not continue to babysit for her. But my reasons have less to do with you, and more to do with the child. The longer you stay, the more attached to you she will become. When this former girlfriend moves on with a different guy, he won't be very excited to have you in the picture. And if they marry, the little girl may become confused at to where her "daddy" loyalties lie. Let your girlfriend be the parent, you need to step away from the situation.

www.thosecrazybeans.blogspot.com

Hi R.,

From what I've also read, in addition to hurting the child, if she/he continues or starts to see you as his/her father, if you are involved and the child "views" you as her/his father, the mother can have a claim against you for child support which can go on for 18 years. The longer you are the father figure to the child, the more established it is that you are the parent. This occurs mostly in the case where the man has helped raise a child w/ a girlfriend believing it was his and then DNA testing has proved otherwise and the court has required the man to continue financial support for the good of the child. So, this might never happen. But, I would play it safe and be overly-cautious.

i know u were w/her for a year and that u bonded w/this kid, but she has no right to still be asking u to babysit her child. if she want nothing to do with you, then why should you do her any favors? and besides what about your new girlfriend hello? how does she feel about this? tell her she needs to find another babysitter and fast you owe her nothing. it seems to me though that this woman cant let go of u although she claims she wants nothing to do with you. shes just using you, thats how i see it.when exactly are you babysitting? while shes out on a date? if so dont do it anymore your being used. and if she doing it to go to work tell her to enroll the kid in daycare, hes not your responsibility anymore. good luck p.s. hope i dont sound so harsh-- but ive been there and done that.

HI R.,

Is she paying you for childcare? or using you for childcare? If you feel trapped then its not a good situation for you or the little child. I would give her a one week notice so she can find someone else, be firm about it. You have moved on and you are dating another person. She needs to move on also and find childcare. Stick up for yourself R. and don't let someone take advantage of you. Do not let anyone let you feel trapped, you have a choices.

D.

I agree with daisy giver her a week maybe 2 weeks bc it can be hard to find childcare sometimes depending on the area but since school has started it might be a little easier. stick up for yourself and stand your ground you don't need to to do something that you aren't comfortable with.