Baby Blues???/Adjustment

My baby blues were really bad. I had them for a month and then when she started crawling I them again. But it does go away on it's own

First off congratz on the new baby!

Your son has been the center of your world for his whole life... in someways he feels as if he isn't anymore, but will soon see he still is!!! It is a bit hard to adjust from being a parent of one to a parent of multiple children, but once you master the skills of 2, addition childern are a breeze if you are concerdering them. Being a mother of 4 soon to be 5 I should know - lol.

My oldest is 10 yrs older then my second and doesn't live with us... so I will be telling you the tricks I used when I had my 3rd which is only 15 mo. younger then my 2nd.... I also used them when I had my 4th & will when I have my baby due in July.

I nursed my kids - so it always seemed like I was holding the baby when I first came home. My daughter did start having troubles because mom was always with the baby & she wanted my attention like she use to get it. I started sitting on the couch to nurse (or give bottle if you are bottle feeding), my daughter would pick a book, sit next to me & I would read to her. She soon just looked at Allen's feeding times as reading time. As soon as I sat down with him, she would go get a book and climb up with me. It became a special time for her as well & she felt as if she was getting mom's attention again. When daddy was home - he would play with her during some of the feedings... that way she got the attention she needed from him as well & I could have additional bonding time with the baby.

She also loved helping - even now at 6 yrs old... so I would let her help mommy. Yes, at 15 mo there isn't a lot she could do, but she liked getting the diaper for her brother & pulling wipes out of the container - so I let her. She also liked picking the blanket to wrap him & the outfit he would wear for the day (I would let her pick out of a few I showed her, so that I knew he got a good one based on the weather/event). I know at just a few weeks old - the baby doesn't get much "tummy time", but when he does, I would let my daughter sit on the blanket & try playing with him. Other things I did was let her help pick out bottles, toys and other stuff I needed for the baby - most of the time I would show her what she had to choose from, but in her eyes she picked it out.

Also, when the baby is sleeping - try to find sometime to sit down & play with your 2 1/2 yr old. I know there is a lot of stuff that "needs" done around the house when you have kids... dishes, laundry, clean-up, cooking, grocery shopping & the list goes on and on, but sometimes you need to let it all go.

I loved my crock-pot (I'd put everything in w/ one of the babies early feeding before everyone was up & let it go for the day) or would team up with my hubby one night & make something like stuffed shells (double batch) & freeze a few bags for later dinners (when you use them - you just stick the frozen shells in a bake dish, pour store spagetti sause over them & put them in a 350 oven for 30 min & dinner is ready). You can also freeze a lot of other foods so that on a bad day you can have dinner ready w/ just 5 min prep time & 20-30 min oven time. Which can make life a lot easier sometimes!

As for the "baby blues" it is natural to feel overwhelmed right now. As long as you are not having thoughts of hurting yourself or your family - it should pass, but if you are... contact a doctor today! I know I had the hardest time with my 3rd who is now 4 1/2... he was colicy which made it harder. He had days where we just couldn't figure out what was wrong... we'd feed him, burp him, change him, cuddle, wrap & rewap him, change him again, rock him, it didn't matter what we did - he would just keep crying. It got so bad sometimes I had to lay him down & would go sit on the front pourch crying. Once I pulled myself back together, I go pick him back up and try everything again. Somedays I was so tired from everything it made it even harder. Which is part of the reason most of us have issues with "baby blues" in addition to hormone changes... I do also know I didn't really go through the hard "baby blues" till I quite nursing... but cause my body when through a major hormone change when I stopped. I actually walked out of work one day because I was overwhelmed & just couldn't handle everything - I was still having issues w/ the colicy baby issues & they wanted to keep adding to my work load at work... I had only been back to work for a few weeks & was trying to readjust to being back too. I did drive to the doctors office that day - he didn't give me anything, because he felt that it was just me being overwhelmed, but did tell me to let things go - not to let myself get upset if I didn't get everything done everyday... which is why I'm saying let the daily tasks go if need be.

So you know... it will get easier for you and your son soon. Keep showing your son love in the ways you have in the past. Remember to give him hugs, kisses & cuddle time... he needs them now & forever. Let yourself breath - ask your hubby for 20-30 min now and then for you time (do what you want with it - but it's time for you).

Also, my 2 1/2 year old is going through a mommy phase... he only wants mommy for everything! Daddy just doesn't do - eventhough daddy was the "care-taker" when mommy was working, but I lost my job last July (when my employer of 12 years shut-down) & am having a hard time finding a new one. When I say everything, I mean everything... he won't take a bath unless mommy starts the water, he won't eat unless mommy makes it or opens it, he wants different clothes if daddy picks them, he sit on my lap to do everything, he sit on the counter to when I cook dinner & if I leave without him - he will sit by the door waiting for me to come home for a while. We are trying to brake him of this & he is starting to let daddy do stuff for him again, but I have been told it is normal for kids to go through this phase around this age... which could be some of what your son is going through as well.

Keep your chin up... you are a good mom! Just you asking for help shows that!! Show that love to your kids & everything will work out just fine!

Hi Tracey,
I felt a similar way when my son was born (my daughter had just turned 2). I felt so badly that I had turned her world upside down. It took a few weeks for everyone to adjust but things calmed down and we all adjusted. I think that it is so physically and emotionally challenging at the beginning because both babies need you so much. Your son will adjust in time, he may just need some extra reassurance that he is still so important to you (as it is clear he is). Alittle extra tlc at this time will not spoil him, but only reassure him and you that things will be fine. Now my kids are 2 and 4 and they play together fabulously (for the most part). It gets much easier just hang in there. Good luck with your new daughter and your son.

My daughter was 2 years 10 months when our son was born and I felt the exact same way you do! My husband was very supportive and we put a lot of effort into trying to maintain her routine, implement mom time and dad time, etc. But it was still hard! It will get easier, as you know, but in the meantime.... When things got really bad for me one thing that really helped was reminding myself that a brother was really a gift for her - one that she will have and cherish their entire lives, and that she would someday soon be so happy that she is not an only child. Now he is almost 16 months and she is 4. They love each other dearly (when they're not fighting over toys:)), and I'm so glad we decided to have two, no matter how hard it is some days!

Hey boy do i know how you feel. My daughter was 2 1/2 when my son was born in December. She threw her first tantrum walking out of the hospital bringing him home. Then the hysterical tantrums began especially at nap and bedtime. It was heartbreaking and I found myself crying all the time about it. I had a csection and was very emotional and its very hard to go through all that and have a screaming toddler who needs your attention as well as an infant. I'm happy to say that once he got on a schedule and didn't need constant feeding and his sleeping times were more regular I adjusted her times to sleep where she could be up with me for a while when he was asleep. My daughter I think always thought I was hanging out with him while she was going to bed. I mean she tried everything tore apart her room screamed climbed furniture stayed up for hours at night. It was torture. Now we have a nice routine almost four months later, he goes to bed first and she stays up a little later and has fallen in love with him. She loves having him around and your son will too. He will soon realize that he still matters too and you're still going to be mommy to him I mean i guess its scary to them, they are still babies. But, I hope soon enough you will feel better, things will get much easier once you have a routine and schedule. good luck stay strong!

I only have one child, she is 23 months old, we are trying for #2. But I wanted to tell you about my experience after my daughter was born. I cried and was an emotional wreck for 3 weeks. My husband would get home from work and I would get in the shower and cry, bawl like a baby for half an hour. Then after the hormones leveled off, I felt great. I think you just need to get over the first few weeks and If you feel like, after that, there isnt an improvement in your emotional health then I would call your OB. Try to get out a little. Going for walks with the baby helped me a lot. I dont know first hand, but I have read that including your 1st in the new babies activites helps with adjusting. Maybe have your son sing to the new baby when its crying or eating so he feels like he is helping you. Good Luck, It will get better!

Oh I went through the exact same thing. My daughter was a week away from her 2nd birthday when we brought my son home. Since my son was unplanned I thought I was ruining my daughters life by having another baby. I didn't want to have to divide my time or make her have to share the spotlight with anyone...she was my baby. On top of that I had the baby blues for almost two months and I cried constantly. Eventually though we got my daughter back into her regular routine and settled into life with two kids and it was great. I started to feel better after about two months and she just loved her baby brother. I think it's important to make sure you are including him in the daily routine of the new baby. If he likes to help out maybe give him special jobs so he feels like a good big brother. Also, just make sure you have some time(like while the baby is sleeping) to spend just with him so he knows he is still just as important to you. It takes time but it will all work out. Good Luck and Congratulations on the new baby!

dont let your guilt get the best of you...it is okay to take time away from your son to rest up and get adjusted to the new baby. he is probably having a great time at daycare with friends and teachers who love him. find ways for the 3 of you to bond...have him help with things for the baby to make him feel important (getting diapers, bottles, etc)..remember he is still a baby and take time alone with him w/out baby (perhaps dad or grandma can take baby and you and son can go to park alone etc.)..he is trying to find his place in your family again...he is little enough to think of crazy things like you love the new baby more etc...take time to snuggle him and tell him you love him...soon things will get easier for you all will be good again.

I went through that. It's only been a week for you so it's all so new. The whole family is adjusting and your hormones are all over the place. Sounds like post partum depression. I would contact someone ASAP. I had PPD and didn't get treated initially because I thought it would go away. Well it just kept getting worse as did my anxiety. My family suffered for it because my emotions were all over the board. Once I got help - zoloft - things got a million times better. Can't tell you the difference it made. I was able to function and be a better mom and wife and get back to my old self. I am going off it now but it really helped me during that after baby emotional phase. Don't take this lightly. PPD is nothing to mess around with.

You son will be fine. This is normal for him. My 4 year old asked me to please not pick up the baby when she's cries. "Just leave her there". Now she adores her and loves having a little sister and no longer wants her to go back to the hospital : ) Just give him lots of hugs and kisses. .

This is a huge adjustment for a sibling. He will be fine, just go out of your way to give him lots of love and attention. I have a friend who has 5 month old twins and a two year old. She was almost potty trained when the boys were born, and alas, not any more. They all will react a different way, but most fear that the new bundle of joy is robbing them of the spotlight. When my children were little and Iaddied another bundle of joy to the family, I just made sure to reassure my boys that I still loved them very much, and tried to give them extra attention. It is very easy to get absorbed with the new one.
As for the feelings of saddness, that is normal too, but if the feeling has been lingering, I would talk to my doctor. It sounds like you may have post-partem depression. It is nothing to be ashamed of. It's the combination of alot of hormones fluctuating. lack of sleep, and big changes in your life. Your doctor will help you get through this. You do not have to suffer with it.
Take care, and God bless you and your family.