Aunt Gave Only One of Her Neice/nephew a Gift

One year I sent gifts to many people, as I was living out of state...and as careful as I thought I was being...I mistakenly swapped two of the gifts and boxes up. The personal notes included....as one gift was to an old HS sweetheart I still had a little crush on was just being cute towards....and an elderly female friend received his note....she sweetly sent it back believing she was the wrong recipient...Ugh....

So, mistakes happen...just be honest with her....perhaps, "There's just one gift in the box, is it for both of them to share?"

That really is strange. I couldn't help myself, I would have to ask her directly why she sent something for only one of my kids. Maybe there's a good reason. Or maybe it was a mistake? She may say "Oh no, the other game wasn't in there???" It may be a flop on her part.

**Edit: Just e-mail her... and ASK her, if only the girl is getting a gift?
And if so, WHY?
And, I would not make 'excuses' for her, to your son.
Explain to him that some adults are just not nice or fair. That he is a great kid/ you love him, and that, presents don't make, a person.
Or get him an extra present.
Since this Aunty might be, preferential.
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Just ask her. If the gift is supposed to be shared since there is only one?
And you wanted to check and make sure so that you could explain to them.

Next: Does she do this every year? Gifting only ONE of your children? If so, then... by now, the kids must know too. That this Aunty only gives ONE of the kids, gifts.
You can't just be saying every year.... "oh it must be a mistake..." and make excuses for this Aunt. Because, if it is happening REPEATEDLY, then it is on purpose.
And then, you need to explain to your Eldest child, that for some reason, the Aunty is only gifting the girl.
That some people don't have nice manners.

Or, you simply ASK that Aunty.... "Why" she only gifts one child, the girl... and not the other child, who is older????

Simply, ask her.
Why guess or make excuses for her.
Just ask her and get to the bottom of it. Especially if this happens every year.

Or the other gift got held up in the mail.

I'd take the tag off so that your daughter and son don't know who gave it. Then I'd add it to the stack of presents. If auntie isn't kind enough to send gifts for both kids, she doesn't get credit in my book.

Why don't you think a separate gift is in the mail? It's not appropriate of her to send to one and not the other. Does she normally send to both? If so, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. I'd have sent the email stating "Emily's gift arrived last night, thank you. Joshua's hasnt been delivered yet." If she normally sends for both, give her the benefit of the doubt. I would hold on to the gift for your daughter and not give it til your son's arrives.

If she has always gifted to both, I assume there was a mistake.

Was there a tag on it just with your daughters name? Or no tag?

Do as Victoria said and make it clear only one gift arrived and you are just giving her the heads up.

I have been super flaky this Christmas, even lost a check yesterday!!!! I had it and now it is gone. I burst into tears at the bank, because I am just so scattered this Christmas.

Maybe the gifts were mailed separately so that each kid would get a piece of mail? Our Aunt does that. Maybe one of the boxes was stolen? That happened here last week. A box was delivered. A lady pulled up to a house, took the box of the porch. The house's survelence system caught it all.

I would still give her the benefit of the doubt and for now, assume that a gift for your son is arriving. If you had already told her that you got your daughter's gift, you could have just added, "But Johnny's hasn't arrived yet." Or is the gift intended for the both of them?

I would ask her if it is for both of them and see what she says. It may be that another package is on the way. Or it may be something for them both. Or maybe she forgot to put another item (for your son) in the box!

Just call and say, just wanted to let you know that a box arrived safely! (smile in your voice) Is it for both of them? (Then her response will clue you in to what's going on). If for some reason her response is not "yes it's for both" or "Billy's is on the way" or "there was only ONE gift??" then I have NO IDEA what the woman was thinking. That should not be done. Any chance she will see you in the near future? If so, perhaps you could "hold" the gift until then, so she can watch your daughter open it. Then SHE can answer the questions about "where's mine?" from your son.
:(

you tell your son nothing. he is only six.... add a little extra gift.. it neednt be big.. some playdoh or something. at that age.. I don't think it's such a big deal.. could be the gift is for both?

what was it? she may have intended it for both, even though it seems babish to you. now if it was a dress then obviously it wasn't for the 6 yo. but a fisherprice toy may have been for both.

What has she done in the past that would make you think she would be deliberately mean.

Maybe DS gift is going to be huge and needed it's own box.

Any chance of dementia??

i think every one gets spread thin this time of year, Make some tea, sit and relax a minute, Call and find out what was up and then let us know, then go on and enjoy your christmas. Unless she does this alot then it was probably a mistake.

If she is the godmother then it's appropriate. Otherwise let's hope the gift did not make it into the box.

I don't think anyone can give you a better answer than Victoria W's that was one smart cookie of an answer!!!! Just say... exactly what she told you to say... Is it for both of them? That way you are not coming right out and sounding offended as to put her on the defense...and if she did forget, or has other plans or just blatantly left him out for some reason... you will know without starting a family dynamics problem... seems like so many start with silly little issues like this one and blow up into much more.. so you are smart to try to be as tactful as possible!!! Especially since you even made the point that you don't expect "any" gifts but I see your point, if you are going to send one it is pretty reasonable to expect that you send to both. However, she could have seen something that your daughter might love and might have not planned to get any gifts but couldn't pass this one up... Who knows... the way people think... It is a mystery! I know... I work with the public everyday! lol.
Hey~ and please come back and tell us what happened... so many people come on and forget to let us know what happened.

Has the 6 YO seen the box and does he know what it is for? If not I would just put the 3 yo's gift under the tree and not mention who it is from (i'd send a thank you not to her for the 1 gift (emphasis on one!) but wouldn't bring it up to my 6 yo.)

If the 6 yo has seen the box I would take a small gift I already had for him and give it to him as if it came from the aunt.

Is the 3 yo a god child or something?? maybe that's why there was only one?? Did you say to your SIL we got you gift for XYZ so that there was communication that only one gift was in the box... maybe she forgot to put another one in??

I would ask her if the gift was for both. If the answer is no, then I would let Aunt know that the kids don't understand why one gets one and the other doesn't (esp since the gift was intended for the youngest - while the older one would understand they did not get a gift).

Then, instead of asking her to buy for both, I would suggest not exchanging at all. This kind of thing really upsets me and I go out of my way to ensure both my kids are treated equally by grandma's and aunts/uncles etc. Good luck.

I'm sorry this happened! I would send an email and politely ask was it meant for the two to share? Or was it just for her. Thank her for the gift and leave it at that. Maybe the aunt overlooked it and forgot to put the gift in there? Or maybe it was meant for both children? GL

M

Our extended family is pretty flexible & all over the boards on gifts -- and it works for us well. For example, some of us only give Christmas gifts to our godchildren. My sister chooses one child in each family each year for a gift and then rotates it by year. My other sister will give a gift to a child she feels closer to, but not another and my brother will choose a gift for a child if he finds something perfect for that kid. Tends to be very erratic but with an attitude overall of "no harm; no foul". And it balances out. None of us really pay attention and we expect our kids to behave in the same way. Since we don't make a big deal of it (and, granted, there are enough of us that there's never an obvious favorite child), the kids don't sweat it either.

Maybe your sister has a more "casual" attitude toward gift giving? She probably didn't intend to slight your 6yo. Hopefully, in the big swirl of Christmas events, he won't notice??

I would add something for him. Even if it is a game or two from the dollar tree store. That way he won't have to learn this hard lesson at this time. I would not have them send or tell her thank you at all. What she did was not nice.

Tell your son that auntie made a mistake. Its possible she did. Its possible she is only buying gifts for the really little kids and just didn't think it through. But its not something you can bring up to her.