my 3 year old son is an only shild and im a young mother i recently moved my son in with my bf and i and he is wonderful with my bf who is not his father but as soon as my bf leaves for work he just does ever possible thing he can do to get into trouble he talks back and demands things from me when he is super polite to my bf he tortures my cats and ruins my house i try to get him out to do things but it doesnt even help when he gets home its right back to the bad behavior. i dont know what to do if anyone has anything that would help it would be great?
Your son wants your attention. All of it. He'll take the bad attention, too. He doesn't want to share you with your boyfriend.
It sounds like your son acts up with you because he can get away with it. Your boyfriend may not tolerate it and your son knows it. Choose a way of punishing him for his bad behavior and stick to it. That's the important thing, being consistant. Or...you can role play and treat him and act like he does. My son used to hate it when I threw a fit like he did. He would ask me for a snack or something and I would stomp my foot and yell and say, "No, no...I don't want to fix a snack!" He quit throwing his little fits. lol good luck
This may seem like a strange observation but do you parent differently when your boyfriend is around? Most of us let things go when there is no one around to observe. If your son is picking up on a difference he is going to run with it.
Hi L.,
Have you and your b/f taken parenting classes together? If not, start there. That will help get you both on the same page. As far as your child listening to you, set up a chart for good behavior. Sticker chart and whenever you decide is the reward, you can do it on a weekly basis. It will hlep alot.
M
Start with some of the suggestions on this website: http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/discipline-behavior
As you get used to using these tips, keep adding more. Look for the areas of your son's behavior that bother you the most or cause the most trouble.
Since kids don't come with instruction manuals, and the examples of parenting you've seen may not have been the best or most effective, keep educating yourself. There are hundreds of very good parenting books out there. Try to read one every few weeks until you find what meets your son's personality and your needs the best.
My favorite parenting book ever is How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Faber and Mazlish. I've been using those techniques with my grandson since he was 2 1/2, with wonderful results. We are both happy I read that book.
What's different when bf leaves the house? What do you do differently? When bf is home do you spend time as a family and then when bf leaves you let your son play alone while you try to do chores? Chances are your child is behaving like this because you allow it, and when bf is around he does not allow it.
Your son is not ready for you to move on. It's very easy for parents who divorce/split to move on.
Children deal with the split of their parents the rest of their lives.
Maybe this is the only way your child can get your attention.
Sad for your child. Communicate and share your time with your child. No boyfriend is worth losing your relationship with your child.
Hi L.,
I feel for you, I went throughout a similar situation with my son at 3. Is this a new place you moved in to? Your son may need an adjustment period to be in a new environment. Also, there's the new dynamic of living with your BF. My son had a hard time with that and he acted up. It got better after awhile, I talked to him and he told me he missed it being just us, then each day and weekly I did something he liked to do, play ball, paint, go to movies, just some mommy and me time. It worked out and then it was all 3 of us having fun, it takes time
Calm, lovingly distributed, FIRM discipline, CONSISTENTLY, immediately when he disobeys your orders not to torture the cat, etc. He needs to learn you never put up with him going against you in everything like that. At three, it's his natural desire to do so to test you and to get his way. Don't let him win.
Get the book Back to Basics Discipline by Janet Campbell Matson. It worked on all three of mine and I have a three year old son who would NEVER do these things. If you do it, it will work.
I'd have him on lockdown for ruining my house and torturing my cats. That means a type of car seat that you can buckle him into and leave him there for an extended time out. Consistently do so until he realizes that his behavior has some real repercussions.
If that alone didn't help, spankings and smacking of hands would be included in addition to the above.
