Are Your Kids Complete Brats??

It sounds to me like they have far too much time on their hands and are unsupervised too often. You need to go back to the basics. They sit where you say, play what you say, put things away when you say, don't eat until they clean up, one activity at a time, give them two choices for activities if possible, but then YOU DECIDE from the time they get up to the time they go to bed what happens every minute. If they don't listen they lay down with books and are only allowed quiet time activities. TALK to them every minute of the day telling them how things will be, where you are going next etc. Every day they push the limits, they go to bed earlier. Tell them you are so tired from having to deal with their behavior that you need the time alone. You just need to be the alpha female and take charge.

EDIT: If you are screaming at them - they've tuned you out and have no respect for you as you have taught them through your screaming that you don't respect them....so why should they listen to you?

Taking away toys or time outs are not effective with your kids...I would start at the beginning and build a new foundation...NO SCREAMING...do you want people screaming at you?! You can be nice and respectful and still be the parent. You don't have to coddle them - firm voice and consistent rules...

my kids have their moments - but I guess I'm a drill sergeant and don't let them get away with much....

I am consistent with my boundaries and rules...I as well as my husband have enforced respect for parents - it's not my job to be their friend, it's my job to be their mother and guide them and prepare for life after leaving my nest.

Set rules and boundaries for the house...same consequence for the wrong action - rewards for good behavior...

We instill the do unto others rule in our home...just today my 11 year old kicked his brother - I asked him if he wanted me to kick him? A quick NO! but I reached out and swatted him (and before some mama's go apesh$t, it was NOT HARD!!) - asked him if he liked it? NO...well, dude - it wouldn't have happened if you had treated your brother with respect...

It sounds like your kids don't respect you. Set rules and boundaries. Be consistent and set the example. If you don't listen to them when they talk - how are they supposed to listen to you? If you yell at them, how are they supposed to know to talk to you? They model behavior. They find out what they can and cannot get away with....So take a deep breath...count to 10 and set the rules and ENFORCE THEM!!!

Make a chore chart. Make each child responsible for something. Appropriate punishment for not doing it.

Make a chart for rules and the consequences of breaking the rules. YOU CAN DO THIS!!! You are their MOTHER NOT their FRIEND!! Lead by example. Teach respect to them so that they will follow you!!

YOU CAN DO THIS!

Here is what my favorite child psychologist would probably say to do:

Tell them matter of factly that you just got off the phone with their doctor who said that they are probably misbehaving b/c they aren't getting enough sleep so for the next two weeks they will be going to bed right after dinner so that they can make sure to get their rest. Do this for two weeks and do not give in.

I have never been a big believer in time outs-my kids never really cared when I would put them in it.

you might want to check out Helen Neville's "Temperament Tools" - helped me understand how to recognize my childrens' temperaments and identify what types of disciplinary tactics would be effective vs. which ones would just aggravate the situation http://www.temperamenttools.com/aBooks.html

1st of all congratulations on passing your nursing boards!!!! That's awesome!! =D

Now to answer your question....you didn't mention what you do when they misbehave, but this is what I do and it's worked really well with all 4 of my kids.

I basically just do what I saw Supernanny do:

Give one warning. If they repeat the behavior, I get down on their level, look them straight in the eye, and say "Billy, I warned you not to _______, you didn't listen to me, so I am putting you in the naughty spot.

I don't yell, but have an "I mean business look" on my face. They stay one minute for each year (ex- 4 min for a 4 yo). If they run off, I get them and set them back down. They may do it over and over at 1st, but eventually realize it's a lot quicker if they just stay and "serve their time".

When time is up, I go over, get down on their level, look them in the eye, and say "I put you in the naughty spot because you did ______" They need to give me an apology- after they do, I smile and give them a hug.
Then all is forgotten- I don't keep looking irritated- they get an opportunity to start fresh with me.

The key truly is consistency. Don't let them get away with something when you're tired. Anyway, I can't remember the last time I had to get further than the warning. They hate the naughty spot. I don't call it time out- sounds too much like a vacation.

The hard work you put into in the beginning will be so worth it, and will wind up being pretty effortless !!

Very best wishes!!!! =o)

Are they 'brats' everywhere, or only at home?
With their Dad?
With anyone?
Or only with you?

oh my! remember a few things kids are not little adults, you shouldnt waste your time reasoning and explaining. Just make a few very simple very consistent rules and hang them up 1) NO hurting people or animals 2)No talking rude to Mom 3) No messing up the house
do you watch Super Nanny I love her do not engage when they are in time out or getting out of bed, just put them back without talking
also make sure you are "feeding the meter" which means giving them attention BEFORE they are bad. lots of playing and attention first thing in the AM before they have a chance to be bad. Bad attention gets almost no talking no scolding just Time out. AFTER time out, ask what did you do wrong, say sorry and then stop talking about it. so bad behavior gets as little attention as possible but swift and quiet and consistent consequences.

Hitting/spanking/swatting - whatever you want to call it is wrong. You are trying to teach them that hitting is wrong...by - hitting them? Talk about a mixed message.

See LoveandLogic.com

for some great ideas and some great resources. I found them 2 yrs ago and wish I would have found them a LONG time ago.

Take a deep breath. Try mentally backing off and watching them for a while. Observe. What do they want? What are they trying to get? What are they trying to avoid? Ask a nonjudgmental friend to observe and offer input. Their choices aren't random. Figure out what motivates them to make the decisions they make.

Then use that information to put together a discipline plan that takes advantage of this new knowledge. Make sure they can get what they want by behaving well. Take away what they want when they behave badly.

Once you find the technique that works (and it may be different for each of your kids), you should see significant improvement within a week. Give any new plan a solid week of totally consistent implementation. If you don't see improvement, try something else.

Good luck.

I recommend you read the book "Nurtureshock". There is a chapter specifically on how siblings fight, and what it means, and when it is OK and when it is not.

You are not the only ones. I think something has happened to the world in the last 3 weeks honestly. My kids have been the same and keeping me up at night. I haven't slept in 3 weeks. I don't k now what to do either. I try to let it go and see if it gets better but with summer coming and them out of school I just don't what is going to happen. Mine turn 6 in July boy girl twins. I pray for an answer for both of us good luck!!!!