Are You Sometimes Misunderstood ?

It is complicated really. I am also plain spoken but that actually is part of the problem. If I talk to other people who are blunt, honest I have no trouble. When I talk to people who don't always tell it like it is I have problems. It is not an issue so much with my words as what they read into them.

The sky is blue. Well what do you mean by that? I mean the sky is blue. Ah huh, but why did you say it now? Because just now I looked up and noticed how blue the sky is. Oh so I am boring and you are looking around? No, the sky is kinda big and I just noticed......

Story of my life.

Yes! Sometimes I am quiet and just keep to myself and I get mistaken for being rude or snotty. I just brush it off, esp if It's a stranger. The one comment that upset me though and I SHOULD of said something was when I was checking out at a retail store and the clerk was trying to talk with my daughter. she pretty shy if she doesn't know you and was that day also when clerk tried. The next thing out of that old lady's mouth was " you must be a sourpuss like your mom!" My thought was wow, way to judge us when you don't know us! I avoid her since she angers me when I see her working now. I don't have any advice of any kind for you though, sorry!

I don't know that I have a strong personality, but I am sometimes misunderstood. I think everybody is at some time or another.

It's good to remember that when you (well, not just you!) open your mouth and speak, three things happen: what you say, what you mean, and what the listener thinks you mean. Those are three different things! The hard part is trying to get them all to match pretty well.

Sometimes I will say something and then ask, in a curious tone, "Do you understand where I'm coming from?" I would like the other person to repeat what he or she heard, and make sure it's what I meant the person to hear.

And do twice as much listening as talking. Somehow that gets a person "understood" better!

Yes, it comes with the territory of having a strong personality. All you can do is try your best. For me, I'd rather be misunderstood at times than go back to being a wimp.

I come from the Netherlands which is a country full of people who speak plainly. I then moved to Georgia, where my mom showed up at a neighbor's door because she said "y'all should stop by some time" and my mom thought she meant it, but it was just a figure of speech. My college room mate would ask me if I liked a certain dress, and if I did not I would say "no" and why, but that is not what she wanted to hear. I think there is being blunt and there sugar coating things, but in between there is tact. So now I try to keep certain things to myself,or phrase my opinion more carefully, especially with neighbors and co-workers. But with family and friends, I can be myself and be as blunt as I am. But I guess because there were always friends and lovers and family that I clicked with (and I probably choose people who are outgoing and expressive like me) I never have felt misunderstood. Not liked maybe, but never misunderstood.

Yes. I have a good friend who has known me over 15 years, so I think we know each other pretty dang well. She told me she could get us free passes to go snowboarding this winter, and I told her thanks but no thanks. I explained that I had a fear of skiing and snowboarding, just thinking of it makes my palms sweat, due to a bad experience I had as a kid. Anyway, she looked so relieved and said, "Wow, I always think of you in these superhuman terms, like you are not afraid of anything in the world. It kindof helps when you tell me something like that, then I don't feel quite so small in comparison!" It was kind of weird. I totally hide my emotions from most people and I rarely talk about my problems unless they are a huge deal. I am more logical than passionate and I also can be a bit blunt. I can see how some people might regard me as a robot with no feelings even thought that is obviously not the case :)

Yes, I am. I was just thinking of how to work on it. Even people close to me say I'm blunt. I'm very matter-of-fact and not into sugar coating.
I don't know what you can do since I'm in the same boat. Best wishes to you and I'll be checking back here for that positive advice. :)

just smile :) that always helps. i know "forceful" people (and i am a sensitive type- overly sensitive sometimes!) who don't smile and it makes me think (when they are already talking forcefully and exhuberantly) that they are ticked off. my husband is this way. when he smiles more i feel more relaxed and comfortable. lean in to people slightly as you talk, and make sure you are listening to what they have to say, as well. i am sure once people get to know you they can see your sweet heart. good luck!

Hi, are we twins? I am often considered over bearing or that I am taking over when I introduce my own ideas on things ... it is what it is and I just deal with it. My true friends know me and know how to take what I say and guess what? they keep calling me for advice or to hear my take on things so I just keep doing what I am doing and not let other's bug me. Now, should what I said honestly offend someone I like to talk to them about WHAT I said and meant and what THEY heard when I said xyz so we can clarify.

It would help if you could give a few examples.

Blessings.....

Yes, that happens to me. Believe me, if I wanted to be hurtful, there would be no question that is what I am doing. But that is rare for me and because someone has really pushed me over a line. Most of the time I would never knowingly say something hurtful.
Our life group leader told me once that I speak the truth in love. If other people can't get that, there's not a lot you can do.

I find myself wondering the same thing often, but then I wonder why I even care because if I worry now about this how much maintenance will the friendship take if it does take w/the person. Sometimes I try to keep thing a little more on the low down but that isn't me so i'm really not showing the person who I really am. The best advice I give myself is to be myself and if I have 5 true friends instead of 20 that I can't be me, the "real me" around, then so be it. Best to ya!

I grew up in England until age 12. And I have a strong personality. It took forever to learn the emotional language of the US. I STILL mess up and come across way too strong. I can so relate! It's nice to read these comments - glad to know I'm not the only one!

All the time. People that know me well, "get me". I'm starting to come to the conclusion that it's not new acquaintances jobs to figure me out. I'm trying to decide if I need to make an effort to become more appraochable or if I should stick with just being myself.

yes i am too......if my family or close friends ask me for my opinion, I have to ask "do you want me to sugar coat it or the truth"..........but they always know who to ask if they really need an honest opinion.

When I am getting to know someone, when the need arises I will warn them that I am blunt. They can take me or leave me, I am too old to change.