Does Age Truly =/(Affect) Personality?

I don't know how to not be blunt and honest. The friends I have lost over this weren't real friends anyway. I try not to be snarky, and I have a lot of experience being misunderstood online because tone doesn't translate well. I hope that my answers reflect that.

eta
I am 43. I already had my midlife crisis, too.

I think BOTH men and women, young and older can be crabby.. However, I do believe that whatever UN-resolved issues you have when younger, only get worse as you age.. Example, IF you are a control freak and have never worked on that, I think the control becomes worse, if you are angry and never work on becoming happier, you become angrier.. I have seen this over and over within my family life.. I would add however that by middle age, because hormones can run amuck , then yes, a woman can become pretty crabby.... I know this from my own behavior :):) although, I am aware of it and do work on it all the time..
Although, I've known some pretty crabby middle-aged men :)

B, I had to laugh at your answer. Just got one of those "your computer is not working" scam phone calls today and really let the guy have it. How did he live with himself? Is his mom proud that he's a parasite, tricking people into letting him screw up their computer and then extorting money out of them to fix it.

When he explained again that my computer wasn't working, I told him he was full of shite and hung up the phone.

That is the extent, most of the time, of my 43 year old 'middle aged' crabbiness. Hormones may come into play once every so often, but for the most part I'm pretty happy with my life and my family. Although I am a bit of a curmudgeon, I've learned not to hide that part of my personality too much. Don't want to get older and have people think I'm 'losing it'... someone said to establish one's eccentricities while one is young, lest people think you are going crazy with age.

In my life, this is by far the NICEST I have ever been as a person. Some may scoff, but t'is true. As a young woman-- not nice, sweet, and kind, more like miserable, jealous, and in denial of a lot of my issues. Since the transplant and shock therapy, though, they've made the modifications necessary to let me out in public again. (and yes, that was a joke.)

Everyone can be crabby and everyone can be nice.
At any age.
Anyone can get up on the wrong side of the bed or have a bad day.
Sometimes people are in a mood to pull the tigers tail.
And sometimes people are just asking for a bit of snarkiness.

Honestly, I don't trust people who drip with sweetness at all times.
They tend to hold in a lot of emotions and you just never know when they'll explode or go postal on someone.
If people let off some steam every so often - they tend to be more stable in the long run.
Yelling at telemarketers is a cheap and effective type of primal scream therapy in our house.
Sometimes this site fills a similar purpose.
If chewing some relative stranger out online keeps someone from hitting their kid or kicking their dog or beating up on their spouse - a good thing is happening regardless of how it might turn off some people.

I am blunt. What I say here online , I will say to your face. I suppose I've hit middle age.... Ugh at 51 ( but I pass for 30's!!! Yes)

Maybe my answers are construed as bitchy but I don't believe in blowing smoke up one's pants just so they feel better. If course I don't want to hurt feelings and don't do it on purpose but I feel if someone asks a question, then he/she are looking for an honest opinion.

Am I crabby enough tonight?

I remember grade school. Cindy had a booger hanging out her nose. You didn't say anything because Cindy was your friend and you didn't want people to laugh at her because she wouldn't like you anymore. Or you didn't like Cindy so you made sure the whole class knew so they would laugh at her and you would be popular.

Children see everything as about their feelings. You don't really say or do anything beyond the scope of how it effects YOU.

Then you grow up and realize everyone sees the booger in Cindy's nose. You want to say something because it will probably be embarrassing when she realizes she went to a big meeting with booger hanging out of her nose. You worry about how to word it, should you say anything, what if it still hurts her feelings and she is mad at you. You care about her feelings but are still close enough to youth to wonder is it best to tell her about the booger.

Young adults care about other's feelings but still remember getting burned in grade school.

Then you get older and realize that all the time it took for you to debate Cindy's booger she went into the meeting. Her new boss was a germaphobe and because of the errant booger she didn't get a promotion. You realize that because of your fears your friend was hurt so the next time she has a booger hanging out her nose you say hey, let me get you a tissue, you have a booger right there!

It is not that when you get older you get cranky or mean, it is that you realize trying to protect your own feelings can actually hurt your friends. You also realize that your friends are mature enough to realize you weren't trying to get the class to laugh at them, you just don't want to freak out their germaphobe boss.

You realize all that grade school stuff was self centered.

Then there are some that just never mature and call us old farts cranky when they aren't much younger. We aren't cranky, we just don't play games anymore, we are real.

well, i'm a snarky old gal, but it's nice to see you back!
i didn't notice a particularly large amount of snark yesterday.
but i really don't understand the source of your question. has someone suggested that ONLY middle-aged women are crabby, or that young women are ALWAYS sweet? do you really anticipate answers that validate that particular absolutist worldview?
cuz that degree of black-and-white thinking just makes me crabby.
:)
your SWH answers your own question anyway.
so, my answers are no, no, no and N/A.
and i don't believe PMS or menopause are excuses. sometimes the sweetest among us get torqued by a particular question or poster, and sometimes the nastiest people here are gentle and considerate.
i LOVE the spectrum of personalities and perspectives we get here.
:) khairete
S.
ETA bouquets to julie S!!!!

Nobody's ALWAYS something. Nobody's always crabby and nobody's always sweet. That's just not human nature. Crabbiness 'belongs' to everyone, as does sweetness and kindness and rudeness.

One of the crabbiest people I know is my 16yr old son. He's neither a middle aged woman nor a crotchety old man. But what a grouch he can be! If things aren't *just so*, he gets pretty bent out of shape. Yes, he's on the autism spectrum, but some of it is simply his personality. But he is also extremely sweet and kind and funny. He's a total human being who shows all sorts of emotions.

I don't believe in using age as an excuse for behavior. I've met several elderly ladies (my late grandmother and my MIL come to mind) who say things like "I'm an old woman, I can say what I want" or "I've put in my time, I deserve to speak my mind." Yes, perhaps that's true, but the recipient of your sharp tongue will be hurt by your words regardless. Just because you're older, that's no excuse to disregard or disrespect others. You've had a whole lifetime to practice compassion, why are you spouting off like a toddler who doesn't have a filter? It's like they've been keeping their rudeness in check their entire lives and NOW they get to spread it around. And we're expected to forgive it because they're elderly? I don't get it and I don't like it. Rude is rude, regardless of age.

Maybe I'm just feeling crabby.

Was it snarky today?

To answer your question: of course not. There are sweet and crabby people of all ages.

That being said, I've been slightly crabbier since I hit menopause...

It could be that the posts you were reading dealt with mothers-in-law, who are 90% likely to be described as crabby - or worse!

It's my experience that, all other things being equal, what a person is like when younger is what that person is even more of when older. Of course, things do happen to change attitudes, but I've found that a negative young woman is usually a more negative old woman, and that most snarky middle-aged (and up) women have had a lot of practice over many years.

The same goes for men.

Everyone gets crabby from time to time regardless of age. Some people are crabby more often than others. Again, age does not apply (unless we are talking menopausal rage).

If we're pointing fingers at crabby people, I'd like to shift my fingers over to tween girls and old men. (I kid, I kid.)

Crabbiness is age-independent. I guess I missed the snarkiness but maybe you're more sensitive to it today?

S.! Nice to see you again. I think middle aged women (yes, I am middle aged) are more on the "no nonsense" side of life. By this age, we are tired of unnecessary drama.

I have no idea what you are referring to with regards to today's snarkiness. But here are my answers to your questions:

Of course, I don't believe that middle aged women can ONLY be crabby.

Young women are not ALWAYS sweet and kind in their words/actions/deeds.

Middle age (40) seems to be the median age where women spend more time being introspective and self-aware.

No, not only middle aged women are crabby on this site or in real life. But there are more bitter middle aged women than there are younger women. Life and age can do that to people. I tend to think some younger women on this site aren't all that interested in hearing the wisdom imparted by older women -- especially if the answers are indeed snarky.

Some people are just crabby. They only get worse with age, thinking it's perspective or truth or whatever.

I'm not sure what you are referring too, Was there something that triggered this question for you? because I didn't feel there was any snarkiness on here today at all, It does get bad sometimes, but I didn't think today was very controversial at all. Maybe snarkiness is just a reflection of what we are reading into things? I know certain questions trigger emotions in me that I some times don't realize at the moment.

as for your question, I think teenage girls can be total crabby snarky beasts. I think busy young moms in their 30's are just too tired and busy with family to cause other people much trouble, and when you get to middle age and things slow down I would think I would need to keep myself busy with other things than the kids and baseball games and laundry to keep from being crabby. but the older I get the more I'm willing to call people out on their craziness too, most don't like that and might thing I'm crabby.

I don't know is that what you mean? women need to work more to build each other up??

I don't think age matters.

There are snarky or blunt or sarcastic or bitchy people of all ages.

There is also the saying that as one ages, they become more gracious and patient.
?????

And then, there are just women in general who when PMS'ing, may be temporarily snarky.
LOL

People find all sorts of excuses for why they act the way they do. My personal favorite excuse goes something like "There is no point in sugar coating things. I tell like it is (I am blunt; I don't do drama) because it's better for all involved. You should just suck it up because even though I hurt your feelings, it really is better for you and hey, I didn't mean to tread on your feelings anyway."

Truthfully I think how people act has nothing to do with age and everything to do with practice and/or laziness. I strive to treat others according to the golden rule (treat others how you want to be treated) with the addendum of following the rule of thumb - if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all. I don't do it because I am holding anything in or because I don’t think people can handle the truth. I do it but because I value people for being individual human beings with feelings I want to respect. I fall short but I am not lowering my standards to accommodate my failings. I have learned it is easy to be thoughtless and cruel but hard to be considerate and nice. I figure the more I practice being one way, the easier it is to act that way. Because I want to be treated well, that is the conscious path I practice on others. I believe acting nicely, civilly, considerately, and kindly takes work and practice because you have to put another before yourself and your needs. Also I believe treating others is a version of the theory of putting a smile on your face is half way to being in a good mood. In other words treating others well is half the battle in being treated well yourself.

You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

No.

No.

No.

Totally depends on life experience and how it affects certain personalities. There is no exact formula, but sometimes it just makes sense.