Are We Responsible to Pay for a New Computer?

welcome to mamapedia!

She's 15 years old. She should have been responsible for her belongings.

The fact that you spend money on her, etc.? You don't owe her a thing. You need to tell her mother the same thing. She's 15 years old and is responsible for her belongings.

Good luck!! This might be the thing that ruins this relationship...even if she the babysitters best friend.

You've set a precedent by buying her things and doing her wash, but no, you don't buy her a new computer just because she can't take care of her belongings and leaves them on the floor.

I'd cool it with this kid - no idea why she thinks it's okay to ask for money from you! Nip that in the bud, Mama!

I don't think you owe her a computer. When a kid is over the age of 12, he or she should be able to comprehend that electronics break, and you don't just leave them sitting around.

However, I think you need to establish rules for babysitting. When your oldest is babysitting, no friends are allowed over, not even this "4th kid". That eliminates a lot of problems.

Tell the mom that there's no way to know how the laptop was broken and you won't be purchasing a new one.

Nope. My husband's older daughter took her brand new laptop we had bought her to the library and strung the power cord across the room. When a kid ran into it the laptop fell on the ground and the screen shattered. I refuse to fix it or buy another one. She was 16 when it happened - be more responsible.

You need to stop treating her like a 4th child though if you don't want to. It sounds like you really don't, so set boundaries. And set them with your 15 year old as well. Babysitting for money is a job, not a time for her to have friends over and socialize.

Take the fact that you spend money on this girl out of the equation. This isn't tit for tat, and it wouldn't let you off the hook if one of your kids really did break her computer. When you choose to feed her, take her on trips, and treat her as your own child, you must own those decisions and not let that factor into this situation with the broken computer.

From your description of events, there is no way to tell exactly what happened to this computer. This girl could have dropped it herself one too many times, and now, it's just dying. Any number of things could have happened to it at your house, her own home, or elsewhere. She's 15 years old, and if her parents have decided she's old enough to have and be responsible for an expensive piece of technology and to take it out of her own home, then that is their decision to own, one for which they must take responsibility.

Now, if one of your children did, in fact, do something to the computer, and everyone saw it, that's a different story. If one of your children did break the computer, then you should do the right thing and replace it.

Going forward, you should have some set rules about technology in your home, and you should be clear about those rules with other parents. You should ensure that your daughter's friends have a safe place to put their tech gadgets out of the way and that they do so. Be clear that if things are left out or left on a counter, that you cannot be responsible for them.

In this case, just from what you've shared, I think that the parents of your daughter's friend should take responsibility and repair or replace their daughter's laptop.

Not in my opinion. She's 15, and she is able to take care of her computer.

Unless it is perfectly clear that your child was using it, and he broke it, in which case you should pay for it. But if she just left it lying around and all of a sudden it was broken, then it's unreasonable of the mother to be asking you to pay for it.

However, this is the kind of thing that could end your friendship with this family. If it were me, I would get all parties in the room together, and discuss what happened and come to an agreement.

And if the mother asked you "when you are buying her a new computer," she is kind of a rude person. That's not the way to discuss something like this, and the mother should have said something long before now.

You are kidding right? You let her in the house with the computer. You knew she leaves it laying around. Sorry but my kid's friends have brought things over, I make them put it on the kitchen table where I can watch it, I mean, I am the adult ya know? You know darn well she didn't step on it.

I am really not sure about the legal issues but you should take responsibility. You were in charge and let her come over with the computer or your daughter did. I hate how everyone likes to make everything everyone else's fault. She is a child, you are not.

I see I am the odd man out here. I guess we live with different friends. Personal responsibility and all of that. My daughter has a puppy who has eaten a few of her friend's shoes. We are talking 26 year old adults. She is laid back, lets her friends take their shoes off at her house, the puppy eats their shoes when no one is paying attention. The puppy is hers, she pays for their shoes. Never had any electronics destroyed in my house but I believe it is because I take responsibility for things that happen in my home. I wouldn't walk past a laptop on the floor, or under the bed or anywhere it could be harmed because I am responsible for that item. I would pick it up, hand it to the child or put it in a safer place and tell they kid, hey, Billy likes to run in the house, I am just putting this up so he doesn't harm it. Even with that warning I would still feel I was responsible just as I would be responsible if any harm came to that minor child.

I find it slightly amazing that everyone answering is ignoring that you walked past this item, by your own words, several if not many times, letting it sit in harms way knowing you have two kids in the house young enough to step on it without noticing.

Not to put the weight of the world on one laptop but don't you think this attitude of me me me, not my problem, rationalize you aren't responsible is part of what has gone wrong with the world as of late? No one sees something as simple as taking one second to say that could get broke is worth their time because, not my problem.

*steps off of soapbox*

Her computer is her responsibility. She chose to leave it at your house knowing that several children would want to play with it. No, it's not your responsibilty to take care of her computer. You do not need to replace it.

I suggest you make some boundaries as to what you do for her. Sounds like you feel taken advantage of. Sounds like her mom is taking advantage of you, knowing how much you do for her and expecting you to pay for her computer.

Perhaps she spends so much time at her house because her house does not provide what she needs. I would've checked in with her mother at the beginning to know about the mom and family. I probably would talk with mom now and of I could do it gracefully tell her why you aren't paying for the computer. I suggest the daughter doesn't expect you to pay. It's her mother trying to force you to pay. I hope the daughter appreciates all that you do.

I don't think so - I'd just say it's been 2-3 months, you had no evidence your child broke it, and while it's unfortunate, their daughter didn't take care of her laptop at your house. It's not your responsibility to make sure she puts it away.

At my house, if I see stuff like that out or bikes in drive, etc. I tell kids to put them away - same as my kids. Kids visiting our home have to follow the same rules my kids do.

It seems like you spend more than enough on her already.
I would not be buying her a computer.
By the way - our son doesn't take his computer anywhere.
It stays home in a safe stable place where it won't be damaged.
I think this 15 yr old needs to be responsible for her belongings and she hasn't been.
You and her mom need to talk but if I were in your place I wouldn't be buying her anything.
This might end the friendship.

Nope. I would tell the mom that "I'm so sorry she broke her computer, however, we don't know how it happened and my kids say they didn't do it. So, no I will not be replacing her computer but I can give you the name and number of a friend who works on computers if you would like".

NO, you are NOT responsible. Don't even fall for that. She needs to learn to be more careful with her belongings. Leaving it in the floor is a careless act. That's the bottom line. Talk with her mother and let her know that her daughter has to take responsibility.

Honestly, I'd tell the mother the same thing you told us, that she was not responsible with it, that she laid it on the floor, and you don't know what happened to it. Her daughter decided that it must be one of the kids, and that you will not be paying for a new computer.

That will be the end of the girl coming over.

The mother may try to take you to small claims court.

I have to say, you need to learn the lesson of allowing a kid outside of the family to rule the roost in your home. If you were going to allow her this much latitude, you should have demanded better behavior on her part, including not asking for you to buy things.

This is not your responsibility unless one of your kids really did break it.

When my kids have friends over, I tell the kids, we are not responsible for your electronics so make sure you take care of it. I will say this right in front of the parents if they are there. They also follow our "house rules" while they are here. ALL electronics stay downstairs. If you don't like it, you can go home.

You call this girl your "4th kid" so I think you have let her take over a bit. Now when you tell the mom you aren't replacing it, she probably won't be over as much. Good luck.

My position with my kid taking expensive items with her other places was, "If you lug it all over town and it gets broken, then it's your baby to rock."

I don't allow my kids to leave their electronics laying around, and that applies to visiting kids. As the adult in the house, I take reasonable protective measures to prevent property damage.

In your shoes, I would have it looked at by a professional. (Not a Geek Squad type; many of them are not sufficiently skilled.) Tell the mom that you offered to have it looked at, but she took it home. Request to get it back so you can follow through.

More information is needed before anyone involved can proceed.

General info; my husband is a computer tech. He would connect the laptop to an external monitor to see what the picture looked like. If it shows up fine on the external, then the problem is the laptop screen, which is often possible to replace if determined to be cost-effective. May or may not be caused by careless handling, inspection is required to tell.

If the image on the external is also partially missing, the issue is with the video card. It could be as simple as an internal loose connection. It might need a firmware debug/update or the card could be shot. Those things are not caused by physical mishandling, and it would prove that no one is at fault.

Nope, it is not your responsibility. She chose to bring the computer and leave it lying around. She is 15 years old and should know how to take care of her things.

I would have one final conversation with your children only. Sit them down and say "her computer can't be fixed. I need to know if one of you broke it so we can do the right thing and replace it if it really was our fault. You won't get in trouble, but you need to tell me the truth."

See what comes from that. We recently rented a house through VRBO. The owner called a few days later and said that the ottoman in the living room was totally scratched up and ruined. It took me awhile, but my five year old finally confessed to repeatedly running her comb over it. I felt awful and paid for it because we were indeed responsibly. My point is, tell your kids how important the truth is and just make sure no one suddenly admits to breaking it. But if no one knows what happened, it's not your responsibility to pay for it.

I wouldn't pay for it. I would also start telling your kid to draw the line on how much her friend can be over. It sounds like her own parents need to take her on vacation, do her laundry, etc.
Too much togetherness can lead to all these problems, especially in teenagers.

No you are not responsible, she was careless and she leaves it laying around, she is the one who is responsible for it being broken. It would be different if someone say someone do something to it on purpose while it was stored in a safe place, but on the floor or couch it could have just as easily overheated as someone sitting on it or stepping on it (which would still be her fault since she left it laying where it could be stepped/sat on). Tell her parents you are sorry but their child was careless with her computer and it is not your responsibility to replace it just because it happened to be in your home when she broke it.

No. You are not responsible for purchasing, replacing, buying, acquiring or otherwise obtaining a new computer, laptop, tablet or any other electronic device for this girl. She's 15 years old. If she has no mental disabilities? She is able to be responsible for her own belongings.

No, you are not responsible, in my opinion ion. First of all, SHE brought it over and SHE was irresponsible with it, leaving it laying around. Unless an adult viewed one of your kids intentionally breaking it, I don't feel you need to replace it. The rule on our home is that if our daughter wants to take an electronic somewhere and it gets broken, SHE is responsible and basically is SOL.

I would say no. Computers are way too expensive to be taking from here to there.

Plus this kiddo left it on the ground. She's old enough to be responsible for her own actions.

"I don't understand why you think we should buy her a new computer. SHE left it on the floor and allowed it to be broken. Don't you think she should be taught to take care of expensive things before you buy her another one?"