Friend's Son Broke Something in Our House- They Should Pay for It?

which is more important to you.... the laptop or the friendship? Pick which one you are willing to risk losing... and proceed from there.

-M.

Since a fully loaded MBP is about 4k... I would be thrilled to be able to only pay for the repair (sometimes water damage kills them entirely / no repair possible).

I wouldn't be able to pay it all at once, but yeah. That would be on me. Period.

And THEN it would be on my son.

Who would be mowing a lot of lawns, handing over 3/4s of his allowance, etc. for a VERY long time.

No.

Water + Laptop = Trouble.

Added: With all the added SWH, my guess is you are trying to find a way they'll be pay for a portion or all of it.

There were so many variables that led to this event, which could've been prevented, had you been better prepared. Don't want them playing ball in the house? Put the balls up. Don't want a 1200 computer ruined? Don't keep it in the main area, where little, careless kids play, and where there are poorly placed glasses of water. If the water had been somewhere else, the computer would be ok. If the computer had been in another place, it would've been ok.

I am honestly not sure what to tell you. I think you should've called her on the phone to talk to her about it, not emailed her. ?And, the manner in which you addressed her was not very welcoming. I would pretty much consider the friendship done at this point, since she is an a very awkward position right now.

I mean really... who puts a glass of water by a $1200.00 piece of warranty-less machinery?

I'm sure nobody else agrees with me, but I wouldn't ask for them to pay. It does sound like a freak accident. She could claim that you shouldn't have liquid stuff near the computer....

It would be nice if she offered, but I don't think it's necessarily her responsibility. If the kid picked up the computer and threw it down, that would be another story....

WOW. I guess I don't see how this is not simply a clear cut case of fault. The child threw a ball which resulted in a broken laptop. She should have immediately offered to pay for whatever it cost if it were broken. At this point, she should still pay for a new one (or repair if it costs less, that would be her choice if repair is possible) but the friendship might be damaged. I probably would have either called or emailed to say - 'just wanted to let you know that drying the computer out didn't fix it and this is what the Apple store says needs to be done'

If my child throws a ball in someone's house, of course I am responsible for whatever damage he causes. And no - someone else should not have to put away any breakables when a 7 year old comes over.

I would check with my renters or home owners insurance. I know ours covered the loss of a laptop...

If my child had broken something - even a lamp - I would offer to replace it...my kid broke a lawn lamp/light ($400) ...no one was around...just my boys, our dog and myself...I MADE him go to the door and accept responsibility...we could've walked away and NO ONE would have noticed or known...BUT **I** would have...

Talk to them. Call your insurance company and find out what the deductible is and ask them to pay it or go halves with them....

This is why you need to say something right at that moment, like "Oh Timmy.... I hope you didn't ruin the laptop when you threw that ball! Otherwise me and your momma are going to have to figure out how to replace it!"

I would point blank tell her what happened. If she is decent, she will offer to at least help with payment, tough she likely won't be able to afford to foot the whole bill.

However, do you have homeowner's insurance that covers accidents and damage to property? If so, you may want to check into that.

If I invite a friend of my daughter's over and then I fail to make sure that the kids don't roughhouse/play ball in the house, then I assume the responsibility for something being broken, even if it is something expensive.

But that's just me.

Part of me says that it is the risk you take with kids coming over. The other part says it was expensive and she should at least offer to help w/ the cost.

Please let this be a lesson that food and drink should not be anywhere near electronic devices. Had the water not been there, it could not have gotten the laptop wet.

Wow. I think you have just discovered a serious character flaw in your friend. To pretend that she didn't realize that her son caused your laptop to break....well, it's like lying.

I think that she is the one who has put you in an awkward situation. Not the other way around. She shouldn't be expected to buy you a brand new laptop, but she should at least offer to split the cost with you or find a way to make amends. As it stands now, has she even had her son apologize to you?

Money might be tight for her. In that case, she should still have her son apologize and have him find a way to make it up to you. This doesn't have to be done in a way that shames or humiliates him. This is a great opportunity for your friend to teach her son that there are consequences for being careless. To deny that anything even happened is just wrong. I wouldn't be able to see my friend in a good light again if she didn't take any responsibility for what happened.

Hopefully, her silence is just time spent trying to figure out how to make amends. I hope so.

I am sorry for your troubles, but I dont think they are responsible for paying for your laptop. When you have children over I think you assume the risk that something might get broken. Also not wise to have water next to the laptop. If this is a good friendship you want to keep, I would drop it. Also consider you could lose the friendship and STILL not get the money back. Sorry, I know it sux.

I don't get this. We have drinks near our computers in my house... So if this had been your husband, an adult who can make the decision whether to risk him spilling it and ruining his own computer, would you get different answers? Your DAUGHTER didn't spill the water. Your friend's son THREW A BALL. That's not really foreseeable from your daughter's POV. He's almost 8. We have an 8 year old boy next door. I can easily see my husband working on his lap top not in the middle of things with his coffee. If this boy threw a ball after being told not to and generally knowing it's sometihng he shouldn't do, I wouldn't blame my husband if it hit his coffee and ruined the laptop. I'd blame the boy and I'm 99% sure his parents would too and they'd pay for the repair. If your daughter is careful, it's her right to have water near her laptop. If SHE'D spilled it, then sure it's her fault. Instead of breaking the glass, he could have hit a flat screen tv and broken it. Then would people say it's his fault? Or would people say you shouldn't have a flat screen if you have kids over?... THese are not toddlers. If I was at someone's house and tripped and fell into the table and knocked over the water which ruined the computer, I'd pay for it! Complete accident in that case. No misbehaviour at all. I'd pay for it! I ruined someone else's property. To me that's the bottom line, you ruin someone else's property, you pay for it. This is not a case of 2 year olds playing and you let them play with water and your laptop... I vote they owe you the $800 repair cost or they're not good people. I'm not sure I'll ever have anohther guest in my house if the general view is that people can break whatever and bc they were a guest, they have no obligation. Maybe not legal but ethical I think they do.

If you can't afford to replace it, are you sure she can? She may be in an awkward spot of knowing she should do something, but be unable to do so. Also look into your homeowners insurance and see if there is any coverage for something like this. There will be at least a deductible, but if you can split that cost with her ....

If my kid accidentally did this much damage, I would be attempting to make it right, but I could NOT afford to pay $1200. I would likely offer to split the cost.

Both boys were playing ball and your daughter was using an expensive laptop in the middle of the ball play - there's some shared fault here. Your son could have just as easily been the last one to touch the ball before disaster struck, he just didn't happen to be. When we own expensive things, and I do own a Mac that is vital for both my work and my school, we assume some level of risk and responsibility for it. We are the adults in charge of what's going on in the house.

I think this is a crappy thing to happen, but no, I wouldn't expect my friends to pay for it. It was an accident, and there was responsibility to not have liquids near the laptop and not have the ball where the boys could get it. The other mom should have been paying more attention to her son, but if someone bumped the table too hard it could have gone on the laptop.

I think you need to check your insurance and see if it's covered (probably is).

If my son threw a ball in someone's home I would feel terrible and if he had broken a glass I would be mortified and if his actions caused an expensive piece of property to be ruined I would be rushing to make it right. Unfortunately this mom doesn't want to be held responsible for her son's actions.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I wish I had some advice.

If you have a low deductible on your homeowners/renters insurance, will it cover this? At least that would reduce the cost somewhat. I know our deductible is $500, and this type of situation would be covered.

That being said, had my child thrown a ball in the house, after having been told not to, and it caused the complete ruin of a MacBook Pro, YES, I'd have offered to pay for the repairs (and would have spanked my child right there in front of everyone for good measure).

Although I will say that parents of children who do this kind of thing NEVER offer to pay. My husband's BFF brought his kids to our house, and his 5 year old broke the door on our fridge (somehow pried the trim piece off, and then ripped it clean off the door). The trim pieces he broke cost more than $100 each. Do you think the parents offered to pay for it? NO! They thought it was just adorable that their demon-spawn had broken our fridge. And now they wonder why we are always busy when they want to come visit...

I know it is not what you want to hear but I feel that accidents happen. He did not set out to break the computer. It really was a freak accident the way the glass broke and went in the direction of the computer.

You said you liked the boy and the mom and that he typically is not a problem. Are you prepared to destroy the frienship over $800? If this happened last month the warranty would still have been in effect and this would be a non-issue right now, right?

Personally I don't think I would have asked her to reimburse me and I think the friendship may be very awkward moving forward because you did.

So I suppose my bottom line is, you will need to decide how much further you want to push the issue because I don't think it is going to benefit you in the long run.

Sorry!

If my son broke something in someone's home, I would feel the responsibility to at the very least offer to pay for half. The fact that you invite children into your home also means you bear some responsibility for freak accidents. The etiquette and manners side of me, however, requires that the other family provide some sort of compensation and bear some responsibility - even if it's an apology note with whatever amount of cash they can afford. However, you can't push your etiquette onto others.

You should call your homeowner's insurance to see if there's any recourse for something like this - a person in your home who doesn't live there breaking the item - who knows.

Those who say she owes you nothing obviously don't understand basic manners and etiquette. Honestly, if something broke while my son was at someone's house, I would have jumped right up, started cleaning and asking questions as to how it happened. What was she doing at the time? Staring off into space? Did she show no concern whatsoever about the accident? A glass shattering where my son is playing would make me jump up and run for something to help clean, or would make me jump up and make sure the kids aren't in the room with broken glass. How she didn't know is odd to me and sounds like lazy parenting. I feel for you because you invited them and therefore you must bear the brunt of anything happening in your home. If she decides to not do the right thing by, at the least, offering a sincere apology, I would suck it up. The next time you all want to get together explain that it would be better at her home. If she questions why, be straightforward and say you understand that if something is broken in your home, you bear the full brunt of the cost and you simply don't want to take that chance again.

Quite simply, if she can't have good manners, and you will bear the full responsibility for their actions, then she nor her family should be allowed back in your home.

I do think she is responsible but for what it costs to repair or value at the time of demise, whichever is lower. So like if it was only worth 300 because it was old, and 500 to repair you only get the value or 300.

If it were my kids i would have offered on the spot to replace or repair it but like I said above replace means another in like condition not brand new.

I also would have said what happened at the time if I didn't see it, so I get the feeling she saw it but was hoping you wouldn't ask her to be responsible. That was just her lame excuse, she didn't know.

Okay, so not old, but you know the minute you walk out of the store it lost value. It does sound like the repair would be cheaper so they have to pay that.

I disagree with the split the costs because his mom was there. If you were watching the child then it would be on you for not taking the ball away. Since she was there it is all her.
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Oh, yeah, it should be covered under your homeowners. God I was shocked how much is covered that people don't realize, like my wayward kids and nail polish(not when I was watching them by the way)! So if your deductible is less than the repair costs that may be an option plus you may get replacement cost instead of value.
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Oh, by the way this is based on Judge Judy law. :p

I am kind of surprised people are saying what if she can't afford it. If you can't afford what your child breaks then you best make sure your child doesn't play with balls in the house.
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Crazy, replacement cost is value. You can go online and find a used one to buy, that is making your whole. Buying a brand new one is making you better than whole. Like Nikki said, no insurance company gives you a brand new car when you are in an accident and they are legally bound to make you whole. You only have to pay what someone would have paid for an object just before it was destroyed. Still kind of irrelevant since both sound more expensive than the repair cost.

Yes, she should have already offered to pay for it. Instead, she chose to pretend that her son didn't do it. You have called her on it. She is trying to decide if she is going to throw your friendship away to save $800.

If she decides you aren't worth $800, then she will stick you with the bill. If she has character (and if she can afford it) or if she wants to keep your friendship, OR if she doesn't want you telling people what has happened, she will cover this.

It's too bad that she didn't take the high road and step up without you having to do this. If she decides that she isn't going to pay, I'd go to your homeowner's insurance. And I wouldn't have the boy inside your house anymore - outside only - no matter whether she pays or not. If he doesn't have a consequence, he won't learn what happens when he doesn't listen to his host.

Dawn

I know you posted this weeks ago, but I just want to say that if my son had been responsible for the incident, we would do the right thing and pay for the damages, as well as have my son apologize. I think because this is an expensive computer that people are easily dismissing it as you should take some responsibility. If it were a window your friend would probably step up. If you were to take this to small claims, you would win the repair cost or expense of a new computer. Or at the very least the value of the computer being that it is not brand new. You may have lost a friend, unfortunately, depending on how you look at it. But now you know your friends true personality. I would take her to court and consider the friendship a wash. I would be interested in the outcome of this.
Btw: I didn't think your email was rude. From what you said you wrote, it was clear you were uncomfortable having to do it.
I don't understand how people think you and your family are responsible. The boy was nowhere near the computer, how could you be responsible when the boy threw the ball across the room. If the environment was casual and your daughter was doing homework and she needed the computer, why does it matter where her or the laptop was. I imagine she wouldn't be doing homework in a chaotic environment to begin with. You obviously trusted these friends in your home and around your expensive things. I just don't get people.
Some people are so rude. This absolutely make me question if I should ever allow people in my home again with the answers you got on this. SMH.
What happened to people taking responsibility for their actions, as well as their kids! What are people teaching their kids these days!
I would to think that I had quality friends that would do the right thing.
Best of luck.

Yes. she should pay for all of it. I would wait for her response and then if she doesn't respond, send another email and tell her the steps you have taken to get an estimate etc. One thing I would add is that if this were to happen again, you tell the child immediately to stop and show them what they did, they help clean up the mess and you acknowledge with the other parent that there was damage done and there will be a discussion about costs etc. So sorry this happened!

I think the mom is fibbing about not knowing it was her son. Seems fishy to me.

This is a tough one. If I was the offending family, I would offer to pay for the damages since my child caused it. I can't say I agree with Jo about replacement value, you need to be offered replacement cost in order to be made whole again.

Since the offending family didn't take responsibility for the damages it's hard to then shift the blame days after the fact, especially when she is pleading ignorance. Now that you have made her aware of the facts I think you can request her to pay for the damages or ask her to see if her home owners or even a personal liability policy might pay for her sons damages if she doesn't have the means to pay for it out of pocket.

In the end, it comes down to the value of the computer vs. the value of the friendship...which do you put more value on? The answer to that question should tell you how to proceed and how hard to push to have this issue rectified.

Good luck.

Jo: In terms of insurance, homeowners is totally different than auto. Let me ask you something. If your house were to burn down, hyopthetical of course, would you want them to give replacement value? Would you want them to bring in used shingles to build you a new roof, and used wood to structure your home? No, I don't think you would and they wouldn't do that, they would give you new. Would they give you a used stove and used counter tops since your's weren't brand spanking new when your house burnt down or even refurbished ones? No, they'd give you the cost of a new one and let you go buy it. If insurance only gave you the used value of everything in your home when you had the fire, you'd be hurting pretty badly, and they wouldn't be making you whole...would they? Auto insurance is a whole horse of a different color...you can't compare the two.

I would look and see if it could be a homeowner's claim. I realize this is a really craptastic thing to have happen, but I don't know what I'd do, frankly. Yes, her son was in the wrong, but accidents happen. Likelyhood is, she can't afford $1200, either, so what does she say? If your insurance can cover most of it but there's a deductible, then ask her for that only. I'd also consider if this is worth losing a friend over.

Egads. How awful.

Morally, yeah... she should pay for it. But I'm sure that anybody (morals or no) would offer if they had gobs of cash sitting around, right? I'm going to assume she isn't in the camp of "gobs of cash sitting around", and assume that she is deliberating about how to afford to do the right thing, and what really the right thing, the FAIR thing, is exactly. Usually when attributing blame, there are percentages thrown around. In your situation, I don't think the blame is 100% her son's fault. Yes, I know you told him (politely using the "you boyS" so as not to single him out and sound mean) to stop, AND you took the ball, BUT, if the water had not been sitting there, the laptop would be fine. So SOME percentage of the blame has to be attributed to your daughter/your family. The question then becomes, how MUCH percentage wise? 50/50? 70/30? 10/90? So you see... she is probably deliberating what she feels is fair and "just", and what she can afford to do, before you contacts you....

I'm sure she feels awful.

From your perspective, the "fair" thing would be for her to pay for the repair or replacement. From her perspective, it is probably somewhat of a split. So maybe the thing to do would be to admit that some part of the fault lies with the placement of the water, and offer to split the replacement/repair costs with her. Not only will it give you both a sense of fairness applied, but you give her an out to save face if she cannot come up with the full amount of the cash.
I will say this, though, if you have a big enough container, you might try the rice trick JUST TO SEE. It can't hurt, right?
So sorry this happened.

If the boy was over and the mom wasn't, I would say it's on you - he was your responsibility. However, since she was there, too - she should have been handling the situation of her child throwing the ball in the house and I then think it's on her and she should offer to pay for the repair.

My take: You invited them into your home and an accident happened. It is on you, not your guest.

Yes-she needs to be responsible for her son's bad behavior and I can't believe she has yet to fire off a check. Do you have homeowner's insurance that would cover this? Perhaps she could pay the deductible? Make sure, before you file a claim that your premiums will not increase/your insurer will not cancel you.

I would go the homeowner's insurance route and see what could be covered.

Considering your friend's response, I'd drop it. What else can you do, bring them to court? If you press the issue, you'll lose the friend and you probably wouldn't get the money anyway. Is a grand worth a friendship? Only you can answer that.

And if that boy ever sets foot in your house again, you are well within your rights to say to him, "You break it, you buy it. Consider this your warning."

Your house, so what was the glass of water doing near the computer, in an obvious zone of danger?

You admit that you instructed them BOTH to stop - but it was your instruction and apparent failure to remove the ball.

That could be argued just as easily as the boy who threw it (and your son was involved with that also, unless boy was just throwing it at the wall for giggles).

I think it's your responsibility, unless the other mother OFFERS of her own volition. Sorry.

I think you two should split it. If you were supervising and not the mother, you were partially responsible as well, in my opinion. But if you had asked the boy to stop, taken the balls, and he took them back and continued, then they are at least in part responsible, too.

However, Megan C. nailed this on the head. It might cost you the friendship to get the laptop repaired. You need to weigh this and decide what is most important to you.

Good luck.

I can't believe the replies that say she should "fire off a check". are you kidding me? I totally disagree that she should pay for anything. I'm sure the boy felt terrible, and the mom too. Now, after your rude email, she's probably a little pissed for being put in the position of coughing up a ton of cash so you can buy a new fully loaded computer or looking like a B.

Sh*t happens. You said yourself it was a freak accident. which means you understand that it was unintentional.

If you can't afford a new fully loaded Mac Book Pro, buy a used computer for the kids to do homework on.

I would contact your homeowners insurance to see if any of it would be covered under that.

BTW, next time do not allow any fluids on the table with the computer. It could have just as easily been her or you or one of your other kids. It should not have been allowed near any type of fluids. That is on you.

Our laptop is not allowed off the table onto any other table so things like this don't happen. If it did then it's on me. Ours recently bit the dust too. The whole thing just got drenched. It was my drink too.

If you can't afford to take care of this is she wealthy? If not there is nothing that can be done. If you'd like to take her to court they could garnish her hubbies checks if you win. But that takes a long time, especially if they don't make a lot.

I think trying to get as much covered by your own homeowners insurance would be the quickest way to get at least some of it taken care of.

I have to say that, yeah, your friend should pay for the repair. Should've offered immediately, should've reprimanded her son, but she didn't. But that IS a lot of money...possibly more than they can afford. Tough situation all around, but I can't see how you can continue the friendship if she refuses to pay. Like others said, check your insurance. Hopefully it's covered there...

Hmm. This is a toughie. I would not feel compelled to pay. However, if a friend flat out said (as you did) I expect you to pay, I'd talk to them to help out, but there is no way in the world I would have the $$ to replace an expensive item as a result of an accident. Which it really is.

That said, you should really temper your expectations in terms of what she can and will pay and as a good friend talk to her about what she could help with.:)

I think most kids above the age of 4 or 5 should know not to throw a ball in the house unless it was in a real "playroom" and your kids and their friends typically do it. Sounds like that wasn't the case and you asked him to stop. Also, the other mom was there so certainly has responsibility for her son's actions. Why didn't she tell him to stop throwing the ball?... Not sure why people want to pin that on you. I do agree though that $1200 is not that fair. $800 is $400 less which is a decent sized difference. I'd not be anxious to pay the extra $400 to get you a brand new one... So I think at the very least, she should split the $800 with you. If I were her, I would offer to pay the $800. I'd be really annoyed and bummed but that's part of having kids. If she can't afford it, that's not really your problem unless you were really rich and she poor so you paid 100% as a friend to be nice. If she doesn't offer anything, I'd have to wonder if I wanted her as a friend. When she replies, I would change it to $800 and explain a bit more how you feel you mitigated risk. ie: your daughter wasn't close by, you'd asked him to stop throwing the ball already etc. Were you guys in the same room most of the time? Did she hear you say that? If so, you could say "you probably heard me tell them to stop throwing and when your DS threw it again, my DS wasn't closeby and was playing with leggos. I'm sure her initial reaction is to be defensive and focus on how it's not all her son's fault. So she may need to hear that is really is. I think our friends would offer to pay in this situation. And like I said, if they didn't, I'm not sure I could look at them the same way again. At the very least split it...

Well you assume responsibility of the kids when you invented them over. And BOTH boys were throwing the ball it just do happened to be the friend who hit the glass. I don't think she should be responsible. Asking someone to replace a used computer Mac or not is not something everyone can afford, you said you couldnt do what makes you think she can? And if it's already out of warranty it's already out dated. Sorry but I wouldnt put someone I consider a good friend in that position. My son and his friend were over the other day and the boy threw something and broke our window, it cost us about 500$ to fix...oh well live and learn.

This is a tough spot. Yes, she should have offered immediately to repair/replace the laptop but she didn't. Did you address her son's behavior at that moment? If you did not immediately assign responsibility to her son, you are now in a "he said-she said" situation.

I think you are stuck here and will probably need to replace the laptop and the friend. I'm sorry to say it, but if you push the issue she will likely end the friendship and if you don't push the issue, I'm guessing your husband will want the friendship ended.

Yes, she should be offering to replace the laptop. Asking her to pay $800 depending on their circumstances is a really big deal. It was an accident. He didn't aim at the laptop and fire the ball. I would suggest asking to split the cost of the repairs and move on with your life.

It sucks, but in the future I would keep water away from the laptop altogether!

It's a bummer that the accident happened. But $800 is a lot of money and I would not expect my friends to pay for it and I'd hope that my friends wouldn't make me responsible for their expensive gadgets either. If that's the case, I would find friends with cheaper stuff around the house in case my kids break something.

Take it as a lesson learned. Playdates and expensive items don't mix.

Sounds like her son was mostly responsible for this. However, if you do value the friendship, the nice thing to do would be to split the cost since both parents were there at the time of the incident.

Really, she should have offered to help replace the laptop....

Yeah, I do think it's her responsibility but like Jo said, not to completely buy a new one outright. If someone wrecked my car my insurance company wouldn't pay for a brand new one, they would reimburse me for the value of my car. So, if your laptop is several years old, she should reimburse you what that model would cost now, and you pay for the rest of the cost of a new one.

Also... can she afford to offer to pay? That may be a factor. And maybe she really didn't know it was her son.

Yes, I think she should offer to buy a replacement computer, or offer to the broken on repaired. I would have offered to do whatever I could. I know the we, also, could not afford a Mac Book Pro right now unless we bought a rebuilt one. But I would do everything that I could to make reparations for my son...then, because he was disobedient and that's what caused the mess, I would make my son do everything he could do to make reparations to me.

Wow, after reading my answer over again, I see that I made about a zillion typos. Oops. Hope you can decode it!

Was he throwing the ball to someone in particular or just throwing it?

I would ask for them to pay half of the $800

I agree with the other poster, that it's fair to ask for the cost of the laptop's value at the time or the repair cost. Asking someone to buy the latest Mac is quite an expense. A lot of people simply don't have the money on hand to do that on a moment's notice, even in this type of situation.

I'm of the thougth that it was just a freak accident, Yes he shouldn't have been throwing the ball, but it isn't like he throw a ball and broke a picture.

I don't t think i would expect them to pay but an apology sure would be nice.

edited: I can't get over her leaving with out saying something right then, I guess that to me means she didn't feel she was at fault and that colors my answer.

If repair is $800 then she should pay for repair; or deductible on you insurance if it's covered and less than the repair. Then she should turn around and make her son pay her back. She does not owe you for a new computer unless the old one can't be fixed. It's your choice to purchase a new rather than repair the old.

My son broke my van door in a fit of anger 2 weeks ago. His portion of the repair is $800. My grout is sparkly clean, my flowerbeds are weed-free and beautiful, my van is spotlessly clean for the first time in years, and I have a back yard full of patio furniture that will be sanded and repainted in the near future.

Honestly, I would say this is a claim for your home owners/renters insurance. It is not all on her boy, the water should not have been on the same table as the computer so whoever put the water glass there shares equally in the blame. It would have been nice had she offered to HELP pay, but she does not owe you a new computer, as you seemed to imply in your email to her. I am not surprised she has not responded to that email honestly, you basically told her she owes you a new computer for an accident her son was only half to blame for. and the fact is, this really is an issue for your insurance, if you don't have insurance then that is on you. Sorry. If your insurance has a deductible then asking her to cover half would be fair.

I would give it a few days, maybe a week, then I would contact your friend. In person, not email. By phone only as a last resort. Tell her you understand that fixing/replacing costs are very expensive. You realize she may not have the money to offer. However, some money towards a fix/replace is better than none, and you hope she finds it possible to at least contribute what she can. Ask her to please consider and to talk it over with her spouse if she is married, so you can figure out where to go from here. If she is a good friend, and a decent person, she will at least make an attempt to accept some responsibility. Sadly, it sounds like she was already paving the way for not doing that by not saying much in the way of "sorry" or conversation towards/about her son throwing the ball when it happened. My guess is she is hoping to get out a big bill and relying things staying too awkward for you to keep pursuing it. If she offers you nothing, I wouldn't consider her a good friend. Sorry.

too many variables.

was the ball play allowed up until a certain point? as in they were playing catch with a soft ball and it got crazy so you called it off and their kid took the last throw before calming down?
or did you say from the begining no throwing the ball and your son never touched the ball?

to M. there is a big diference there

Emmy had friends over the other day and they were playing with a soft plastic ball which i allowed and it got out of hand so i told them to stop in a casual tone and then Emmy threw the ball again once and got scolded and it ended. Now if either one took that last throw I would think it wasnt that particular kids fault since it was a game I allowed and it got out of hand.
Although if it was a hard ball and a kid threw it out of anger, I would think the parents are responsible.

Then again if he slipped and the water fell on the laptop what would your answer be, because too be throwing a soft ball which knocked a cup over and then ruined the laptop is the same as him slipping and knocking the cup over. sure he did something not right but not so wrong that he purposely caused the damage...or did so from being reckless (unless the game was forbidden from the begining..but it seems from your writing it was allowed to a point)

i honestly dont have the money so if a friend said lets split the cost and you can pay it off in x amt of months I would be ok with it..since OUR kids caused it (since it could have very well been the throw before you said stop that ruined it)
i think i went a little crazy in my explanation.

In summary (ha, i need a syummary=) ) I think his parents are not responsible unless it was done in anger or pure neglect to following simple rules which did nto change. although as a friend i would offer 1/2 with payment plans if you think they are responsible

ETA
I read you SWH I think the mom is responsible if you said no and then he went and got the ball and threw it again (not in playing catch J. throwing?) if someone was on the catching side from yuor family i go back to not responsible

The water should never be near the computer, ever. As mentioned below, anyone could bump into the table and it get knocked over.

It sounds like BOTH boys were playing in the house and did not stop or go outside when they were asked.

A few thoughts:

Does your home owners insurance cover this?

If so what is the deductable?

I would suggest "splitting" the cost and in the future when you ask your kids or the guests to do something, don't count to three, take the ball and make them go outside or do something inside that will cause less damage....(though that is unpredictable with children of ALL ages and gender)!

Keep us posted.

This is a tough one. My number one rule is no liquid on the same table as the computer...ever. This is a split split situation. This is a little boy that was a quest in your home. I do not blame her for not replying yet because of the huge cost to replace. I would ask her to split it with you if she can even do that. Maybe make payments until its paid. You do have to take some responsibility here also for having the glass of water on the same table, even thou it was not near it , it was on the same table. If the glass was on a different table or counter it would not have happen. I know it stinks but that's my take on it.

This is a tough one, honestly, but I really have to lean towards sucking up the cost. It doesn't sound like the little boy was being naughty or fresh. He was being a little boy who wanted to play with a ball. Does it get annoying when children throw balls in the house? Yes, it drives me insane.

At face value, "should" she be paying for the repairs? It's a brilliant idea. I've paid for and replaced my fair share of items that my children have broken or ruined. It's just common courtesy.

I do have to say that once, one of my children ruined something that belonged to my best friend and was irreplaceable. It broke my heart immediately and I swear my world turned black when it happened in front of both of us. It was so bad that I knew offering to pay for or replace the item wouldn't even matter because it couldn't be done. She could have let it affect how she felt about my daughter, how she felt about me, but she didn't. I did what I could to make up for it. I apologized profusely. I acquired as good of a replica as I could. She appreciated it, thanked me, and put it in a closet.

Anyway.

It really is possible that your friend wasn't entirely aware of the situation the way it happened. It's entirely possible that she simply can't afford the money at all to pay for repairs or a new computer. She doesn't know how to say so, and that's why she didn't offer.

You also didn't ask her very kindly, per your description of how you asked. It sounds like you demanded. You put her in a very difficult position and made it sound as if it's either pay up or end the friendship. So now she really doesn't know what to say.

I think it's important that you don't allow this to come between your friendship no matter what happens. Money should never come between friends. I do believe that she owes an apology for her child, and should have her son apologize as well. I would also take it as a lesson learned and keep expensive technology far separate from liquids from now on.

Not your original question, but have you tried putting the laptop in a bag of rice? I hear rice is great for drying electronics out. A lot of friends have had good luck drying out their cellphones after they've been dropped in the toilet using this method. Obviously you want to make sure there aren't any openings where the individual grains can get in, but otherwise I don't see how it can hurt.

Sorry about the situation with your friend. Really tough call. It's so much money, I don't really know what I would do.

Sucks that her son had to make that mistake in a house that needs a Mac book. Too bad it was not in a home with a regular laptop. She is prob. freaking out and crying and fretting over having to pay 1200.00 to replace your laptop. Darn overpriced Macs. ;P In my house she could replace the laptop for 400.00 max! lol

I don't know what to tell you, whole situation sucks!

My sons friend whom I am friends with his mom breaks stuff over here every single time he comes. It's getting annoying but I have not told the mom. He ripped the head off DD's Barbie this last time. He has ADHD and does not pay attention to what he is doing sometimes. It's no Mac book but I am starting to get annoyed.