Are Toys Meant to Be Ruined?

IMO, it's not too much to teach children to take care of their things, but toys are meant to be played with, and sometimes playing with things breaks them. I would never buy my daughter an American Girl doll, because I wouldn't give her any toy worth more than it's value as a plaything. It's the same way I feel about buying her expensive fancy dresses - if they're so expensive that I never want her to wear them for fear of ruining them, what's the point of having the dress?

I would be upset if she intentionally spilled paint on the dress or stomped on a toy or ripped pieces off or whatever, but, case in point, my kids were just playing with a doll the other day and her hair came off! Toy ruined? Probably. But ruined in the process of swinging her around having a wonderful dance party. That's okay with me.

I always taught my children to care for their things. Toys are meant for playing with but that does not mean we walk on them, throw them, leave them out in the rain etc... I had a family daycare for 20 years and all the children were taught the same. One year I watched this little boy and he would always walk on the toys. I talked to his mother about this and she told me he was exploring with his feet. I explained to her that he would not be allowed to walk all over the toys while at my house. The Monday after Easter when she was dropping him off she told me I would not believe what he did over the weekend. She proceeded to tell me how he took all the dyed Easter eggs, threw them on the rug, and stomped all over them. I told her I guess he was just exploring with his feet!!

No. You're not the only one.
I do think there's a generation gap, however.
You were probably raised by parents (or grandparents)
who taught you to take good care of your belongings.
They came from the philosophy of
USE IT UP
MAKE IT DO
etc.
I think a lot of people today were raised in a way
that didn't teach them to take good care of their things.
It's been a throw-away culture lately.

I have been astounded occasionally by things I see
in trash cans in some neighborhoods.

I feel strongly about donating things to Goodwill
or other similar places, or passing clothes along to others.
I would never throw anything away if it still has any use left.

We have a recycling shop, mainly for teachers, in our city.
People bring all kinds of craft items, books, magazines, etc.,
and teachers come in and take what they need.
Non-teachers come in and buy what they want.

So, if it feels correct to you, I encourage you to teach your child
the values you have learned from your parents/grandparents.
And when your child interacts with kids who are careless with toys, etc.,
perhaps your daughter will be in a position to not let them play freely
with her belongings, to protect her special things.

I guess I am sort of in the minority. I think toys are meant to be used and enjoyed. I teach my son to pick up after himself, and that malicious destruction is not OK. But if he breaks a toy, he knows it gets thrown out and not replaced. He is OK with that. Because of that, he has learned to treat his favorite stuff in a way that it does not get ruined. I learned that lesson the hard way as a child. I drew a mustache on my favorite doll and found it didn't wash off. And many many MANY little girls have learned that lesson about cutting a Barbie's hair or playing with her in the tub. ;)
I feel that toys are meant to be fun and that all kinds of learning takes place with them. No, I wouldn't pay $100 for a toy, because then its value is monetary, not creativity or imagination. It made me so terribly ill when the Beanie Babies were so popular and kids weren't even allowed to play with them because they were "valuable." I guess I would not freak out if my son ruined a toy in the course of play. Not destructive play....that is totally different. If my kid were like Sid in Toy Story I would be appalled. But regular play? Anything goes as far as I am concerned. :)

I agree with you as well. But this is how I was raised: you take care of your things and they will last a very long time. We didn't have a lot of money growing up and what toys/clothes/books we had we cherished. Toys came twice a year -- Christmas and one or two on your birthday. So you made those toys last for years! I try to teach my family the same thing now, but it goes beyond toys. We don't eat/drink in the family room/living room so that we don't stain the furniture and carpeting from inevitable spills. We put things away neatly when we are done using them so that they don't get stepped on. Etc. etc. etc. I'm really into re-using, recovering, recycling, furniture and other goods because I'm just not a throw-away kind of gal. And I never ever throw anything in the trash that I believe Goodwill or some other charity could get some use out of.

It's not expecting too much for a child to take care of their things. Very little kids will be harder on certain toys, of course, until they learn to be gentle.
If you buy something from the dollar store, no matter how gentle the kid is, you might as well count yourself lucky if it survives being played with a few times. They aren't all that sturdy. Kites are notorious for not having long "lives". And, some toys will get worn out by virtue of the type of toy that they are. Something that's meant to be played with outside is bound to get scuffed up and dirty. But no....I never was of the opinion that toys get broken or ruined and that's just the way it is. A parent having that attitude could lend a child not to care or to believe that anything broken can be replaced. Heaven knows, I've dealt with kids who came to my house and broke something within the first 10 minutes that my kids had played with for years. If children don't respect their own things, they tend not to respect other children's belongings either. Just my opinion.
So sorry to hear about the ink on the American Girl doll. I know they are really expensive. I'm sure your daughter is upset about it too. But, it sounds like you have really taught her to be careful with her things. Good for you. And, accidents do happen.
Anyway, I wish you the best. Can you contact American Girl somehow to ask what they advise if something like this happens? Just an idea.

I agree with you. It frustrates me to fix something for my toddler to eat and he only eats two bites. In my mind, he's just wasted the rest of it.
I feel the same way about his toys. I just went through them and packed away about half of them. In a few months, when he seems bored with the toys that are out now, I'll switch them out.

I am really funny about books. I only put out board books where my son can get to them (he's 23 months old). All his other books are in a place where an adult would have to get them and sit and read them with him. But, I am an English teacher... :)

BTW- As I type this, I am looking at my American Girl doll that is in my "doll" cabinet. I got her when I was 9-10 years old. You can tell she was played with, as her hair is a little wild and unruly, but she is in the cabinet and my Barbies aren't...

You are not alone. My husband and I raise our daughter the same way. She is 2 1/2 and is incredibly responsible with her toys. I think it says a lot when a child is mindful with the way he or she treats toys.

Yes, you should teach your kids to take care of their things and be responsible. However, some toys do get pretty beat up - just from playing... and yes they do get ruined. Things are just that - things. We should teach responsibility, but not to the extent that we put our things above our relationships with people. Enough philosophising... (spelling?) - you are right, we need to teach responsibility - and that includes caring for our things.

I agree with you. Our daughters toys and games always still looked new even after being loved on. Her outdoor toys faded and sometimes rotted because of the sun, but she hosed them down as needed.. We do not have a garage to store them in..

Her puzzle pieces all went into a ziploc bag and back in the box.. same with game pieces..

We gave her one of those 60 drawer boxes for keeping screws and nails separated, but she used it for her Barbie accessories.. We could point to a drawer and by memory, she could tell us what was in there.. Wedgie shoes, Kens hats, dressy handbags.. Her Groovy girls still look brand new..

Her books were her babies and even though we read all of them over and over again, they are still in perfect condition and she is now in college. so yes, children can love and play with their things, but they can learn to take care of them.

I agree with your way of thinking. It's good to expect kids to take care of their toys. They are not meant to get ruined. It's by taking care of their toys that children grow up knowing how to take care of their belongings.

For me... it's 6 of 1, half a dozen of another.

We have toys that are 5 generations old (books also), and we have toys that break in a week.

For the ones that break (or in any other way become unusable)... they fall into 2 categories. Imagination time (aka use it in a different way) or recycle (ever notice the ones that break tend to be crappy plastic?).

IMEO... toys are meant to be played with and should *survive* such playing. The toys that are 5 generations old were built to LAST. Dolls were sturdy fabrics that can be flung down the stairs (and solid porcelain faces can be BASHED against marble and not chip or crack... solid high fire ceramic is *strong*... the cheap poured hollow ones on the other hand weren't meant for kids, and they were the step "down" -although they're "highest" quality now, back in the day they were hand carved and fired. The glazes were less permanent, but any potter or blacksmith could refire new colors on heads, and often did, it's why in old dolls, even though they *could* have made the heads attach permanently, they didn't)... but most people either had sturdy fabrics that could be mended as necessary, or carved wood which could be sanded out as needed. Other toys we have that belonged to my great X grandparents as kids were equally sturdy and mendable. Wood, metal, high fire clay, and fabric. And they've ALL seen much repairing. Heck, archeologists have found toys that have survived thousands of years that were obviously played with for generations.

A common phrase in my family's houses growing up is "These things happen." Ink stains don't "ruin" a toy in our family. Give it a few months to years and it'll rub off. Or they add "character". Rips get sewn up. Chips get sanded out. Worn pain gets repainted. Ceramic gets touchups or gets to meet a dremmel bit (I work in ceramic, so anything made of clay I can usually fix or replace). Noses get sewn back on. Surgery is often needed, and that's okay.

Typically, if a toy can't be mended (cheap plastic) I don't buy it. They're given, of course, but they have an expectedly short lifespan.

The only toys in our house that are treated "special" are electronic / techie toys. Like cameras, laptops, ipods, etc. My son has either had his own or used ours since he was a toddler. His cameras (still and video) are pristine after years of use. All other electronics, ditto.

I am wondering if the other mom has boys! I know that mine are tough on toys and oftentimes they break (RC cars anyone?? - They never last in our house). I am not justifying the breaking of toys and I don't come down hard on my kids for accidents. If they had meant to break a toy (which they have never done)that would be a different story.

And there is all different levels of play too. The way YOU played with your Cabbage Patch may be different than another child would. I can remember my sister's-she played that doll hard! But she was a tomboy with older brothers. I wouldn't have expected her to take 'care' of her the way that say you might have. IT would have defeated the purpose of a toy-something for a kid to have fun with.

Well I definitely believe an American Girl doll should be treated a lot better than a Barbie. They both need to be treated well but they need to understand if you are going to invest that much more on a doll it needs to be treated its value. Kids get a lot more toys etc than when we were younger. I do believe though whether an American Girl or a Barbie they both she be played with and should be expected to show wear and tear.

I know it sounds strange but hairspray sometimes gets ink off, that or goo gone maybe.
I think it depends on the child. My oldest son used to play with his toys pretty rough and did not seem to care if paint wore off or if a toy got scuffed, and if it broke he would not seem overly distressed. I was more like you...I liked to keep my things nice, it is funny to me to see my only daughter be so particular about her toys, she wants them kept Perfect, gets upset if a Barbie's hair gets "mussed" and its not an age thing because she has been like that since she was 2! Even going so far as to not like ice cream because it was 'drippy" and needing a wash cloth on her high chair tray. I do not think it is expecting too much for kids to take care of their things...I think what is sad is what a disposable society we have become as a whole.

It really depends on the age, I think. I don't expect my 19 month old to really grasp the taking care of things idea. An older child, yes. I would want them to learn toys are not just disposable and instantly replaceable. Personally, I would never ever spend $100 on a doll. That seems frivolous, which I also don't want to teach my child. However, If I were going to...you'd better believe my kid would take care that sucker!!

My son has toys that he can destroy and I will not care and toys that I teach him to take care of. Two factors go in to the decision 1, the giver 2, the price tag. He got for his 4th bday a toy that was probably 20 or less but it was given to him by Grandma's Cousin... we just called her aunt and she passed away a week later. This is something that will be kept in good condition and will stay in his keepsake box for when he is an adult. He is being taught to care for his Wii and DSi as well as his "thomas the train" set, the trains tracks and everything else to go with it. But there are toys from the dollar store and things like that that does not matter.

I have 3 older kids, and have done daycare from home for 5 years, while there are a lot of toys that have been ruined and tossed out, I do also have toys that will most likely still be perfectly fine when my 1 month old son is old enough to play with them, and these are toys that originally belonged to my 11 year old. There is nothing wrong with teaching kids to take care of their toys as long as you still let them enjoy them.

No, I don't think toys are meant to be ruined intentionally. I think kids have to be taught how to take care of their things and that has not happened in the last 20 years or so. It's as if the toy gets broke we'll buy you a new one.

My son has several Tonka trucks (metal) that were played with and they are still here. He was a rought playing child and I bought toys that could stand up to the use. Granted they cost more in the beginning but I only had to buy that toy once. My daughter was not a girly girl and the dolls did lose clothes and hair but there are several that she played with that are still here and that includes a Cabbage Patch with the signed rear. She loved to play with trucks and things and her trucks are also here at the house.

When the kids out grew the toys they were given to kids that would use and enjoy them. Few went to seldom went to Goodwill as we lived out of the country during most of their childhood years and we passed them around to other military families.

The exception are a few Star Wars toys that my son wants and I won't give them to him until I pass from this earth as they are the originals and they are large and collectors' items.

We all buy more toys than the kid(s) will play with at any given time. So as one mom did pack up a few and reintroduce a few months down the line so that they all get used.

The other S.

PS I am sorry about the ink on the American Doll. It maybe thad dad owes daughter a new doll. Is there a place that you can take the doll to have the ink removed? There are some places in the country that do doll repair but I am not familiar with this doll since it is new to me.

I think it depends on the child. You liked keeping your dolls perfect; another girl might just like playing with them.

I think as long as kids are reasonably respectful of their things, we parents shouldn't get too obsessive about their being kept in perfect condition. I really think that's the healthier approach. Toys ARE meant to be used, after all. Requiring perfection is not generally a healthy approach to life.