Are We Getting Older or Lamer? or Both??!?

Updated on October 17, 2009
K.V. asks from Plano, TX
23 answers

Well, I struggled with the title of this post/request for a minute because I wasn't sure what we/I am looking for, or even how to ask it. My wife and myself and daughter are always out and about on the weekend and sometimes on the weekdays and find ourselves kind of lacking friends. I know that sounds weird but we are really having troubles meeting people our age with a kid around our age. I have heard oh, join a church group and that all sounds fine but my hours of work permit that. So are there any social outting groups or meet-ups or something that we can go and meet other parents our age in a safe and healthy environment. Like I said, I know it seems weird but we really want our kiddo to play and interact with kids her age outside of daycare. Any suggestions at all? Thanks again!!

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

Hi there. Try going to Meetup.com and searching for the kind of group you'd like to join. There are tons of them, especially parent/kids groups.

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T.B.

answers from Dallas on

Mom's club. Enroll your child in classes. Check Plano recreational centers, Gymboree, or Kindermusik to name a few. Make friends in general & you will meet friends of friends w/ kids around your daughter's age.

1 mom found this helpful
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V.P.

answers from Dallas on

Years ago, when my kids were younger, I formed a neighborhood women's club (we live in a neighborhood without an HOA). I found 2 other neighbors that were interested, we printed flyers, and delivered them to each house - "First meeting at the library community room on" We had almost 40 women show up and "join." Over the next 5 years, our group planned many neighborhood activities (egg hunts, halloween costume contests, etc.) to let others know about us and to meet new neighbors. Because of this group I made 5 really good friends - we do couples nights, get the kids together periodically, meet for a girl's breakfast once a month, and go on annual girls' weekends. Our husbands have gone to sporting events together, gone mountain biking and played racquetball, and a few are in the local Y-guides together.

I think this could be done on a couples basis as well. You and your wife find a place to host the first playdate (the library and fire department usually have rooms available for local residents). Have a contact sheet form at the first meeting, so you can get everyone's phone number and address. Maybe include a short questionairre - find out if people are interested in playdates, daddy/child activiites, parents only activities, etc.

Also, I wouldn't just invite your street - none of the long-term friends I made were on our street. Just FYI, in terms of numbers, we have almost 500 homes in our neighborhood, had 40-50 active members over the 5 years, most of whom had kids. We also set up 2 playgroups, which was another great way for parents to meet each other.

Good luck!
www.familyeguide.com Free guide to affordable family activities in Lewisville, Flower Mound, Highland Village, and the surrounding communities.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.T.

answers from Dallas on

We had the same problem when our daughter was born. We had just moved back to Dallas and all of our friends with kids lived in another state, my siblings are older with older kids, and my husband has younger siblings with no kids. And there are no young kids in our neighborhood. It was hard at first but now we have lots of friends with kids the same age. I would encourage you to join some sort of group like others have mentioned. You can find one that fits your schedule and your price range. At various times we have done:
Kindermusic http://www.kindermusik.com/
Emler Swim School http://www.iswimemler.com/
SoccerTots http://www.soccertotsdallas.com/index.html
Scribbles and Dribbles Art Class. http://www.natureandscience.org/dcm/little_explorers.asp
You should also check out: http://www.metroplexbaby.com/
They are a moms group and they host kid friendly events. Don’t be put off by the “moms” part – they have lots of family oriented stuff too and dads are always welcome.
Aside from that just go where kids are: the library, wiggly play center, the park, chuck e cheese, zoo, etc. And if you sign up for the Metroplex newsletter you can see what all if going on each week – go to that stuff. Little kids are naturally drawn to each other. Just chat people up and you’ll meet some people. Then schedule some play dates with them. If you met them at the park – say hey, we’re coming to the park next Wednesday – do you want to come too? That’s how I met my best mom friend – we were at an Easter egg hunt and we starting talking. We went to the zoo a few weeks later – and a year and half later we see each other several times a week and our kids have spent the night at each other’s house.
Also, it may take some time to find real friends. We have had lots of play dates with lots of kids. Some “worked” and some just didn’t ;-) The nice thing is you aren’t buying a car – you are just having lunch. So if you decide after one time that you really don’t like those people, just meet new people. Trust me, you’ll find some good ones!
It might be hard at first, particularly if you are shy, but it is totally worth it. It will help you and your wife find friends that have the same issues that you have so you don’t feel so alone when things are challenging with your daughter. Plus, it will help your daughter learn how to make friends. Making friends doesn’t come naturally to everyone and showing her by example with help her learn those skills! Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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R.G.

answers from Dallas on

Here is a suggestion. We had the same issue and when our daughter was 10 months old we joined "The Little Gym" ther have them throughout Dallas/ Fort Worth. Both parents are usually involved and the kids have a great time. You get to know the parents in the class as well. My daughter will be 4 years old in November and we met up with the group we had met at little gym. We are planning our New Years Eve dinner together. Two of the four of us don't attend the gym anymore but we are still great friends.
Your child will have a great time and you will meet some really fun moms and dads. Good Luck!

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K.L.

answers from Dallas on

Noticed you're in Plano. Not sure if your schedule permits it but Prestonwood Church has Saturday night services. In addition to Sundays, fellowship groups are offered on Wednesdays at 6:30 p.m. and Saturdays at 4:45 p.m.

For many years my husband was unable to attend church with me because he worked Sundays. I attended a couple’s class by myself and found a great group of friends. Even though my husband was unable to attend Sunday mornings, he was always included in other events: socials, weekday men's studies, sports-teams, ministries, etc.

I know it's not ideal, but even if you cannot attend with your family, your wife will meet other couples with young kids and your daughter will have a great time with other kids her age in Prestonwood's excellent preschool ministry.

Hope you’ll consider visiting soon. http://www.prestonwood.org/plano/i-am-new/

PS - Prestonwood's Fall Festival is Saturday, October 31 from 5:00 - 9:00. Looks like fun for the whole family. http://www.prestonwood.org/event/2009-10-31-fall-festival/

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D.H.

answers from Dallas on

You're getting bolder! And smarter! Good for you! One thought that comes to mind is trying a Parks & Rec class (Plano Parks & Rec has many parent + little one classes). Aqua Fit Swim Center in Plano offers a great Water Bugs class for parents + little one (972-578-SWIM) (heated pool - classes all year). I'd also suggest hanging out at one of the many parks tucked away in neighborhoods (perhaps there are several close to you?). And churches really are a great means of enjoying family friendly fellowship - there is such a variety with activities & services to suit any schedule. I think Fellowship Bible North in Plano offers services on Friday evenings! Best wishes & have fun trying new things!

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G.A.

answers from Dallas on

My parents were in their 50's and did not have any friends so they decided to take up square dancing. They then took round dancing and my dad passed and my mom met her last two husbands dancing at Senior Centers. Her last they got married a few months ago both 81 yrs old and going strong. He is learning to dance as he does not do as well as the other two but he is a jewel. She is always taking a snack to the dances and at one time they were dancing three times a week. In the middle of that they had a card game going. My mom does not drink nor ever has clean fun nice people and she has danced her way through life keeping fit getting the excersize she has needed all these years. She had a heart attach then triple by pass then some stens put in and doing great. Dancing again and doing great. I am 61 raisng a 12 now year old granddaughter and I also do not have friends but a boyfriend that keeps us both busy. If your child were in school another thing I loved doing as a woman stay at home but you said you work. During the week they have New Comers and the last time I went one of the men started a men's morning out to meet different men in the group. They also started a couples name that game where they meet and who is hosting picks a game they can teach in 5 min. That group held in Lewisville. But there is another one in Ft Worth and I believe the Chamber of Commerce has the infor on it. Good luck G. W

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H.D.

answers from Dallas on

It is so difficult to find that perfect combo as we get older and have children. It's hard to find a couple that both of you can deal with or actually enjoy being around AND have a child of similar age! We have met some of our friends through sports, but our kids are older than yours. You may try to meet people at a local park on a nice day on the weekend. Other places you may find friends...have your wife sign your child up for swim lessons or gymboree/little gym so she can meet some girlfriends and hopefully they'll have husbands that you have something in common with. Good luck, I know how hard it is especially if you didn't grow up in this area!

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C.C.

answers from Dallas on

For your child's particular age, you should try an Early Childhood PTA. Most of the parents are fairly young and at least one child in the family is young - usually but anyone is welcome. Our target audience is families with kids between the age of 0-5 years old.

The Allen Early Childhood PTA is the BEST! Check out the website www.aecpta.com. In fact, this Friday at 9am we have a special presentation of Magic Mike. He is awesome and is especially great with young children.

We have a ton of services including Adult Socials, Book Club, Babysitting Coop, Family Parties (Seasonal parties), Parent Education and a ton of stuff for the kids! We meet at a church although we are not affiliated with them. They graciously allow us to use thier meeting and nursery rooms. We are a part of the Texas and National PTA though, so the support system is really big!

Check out the cool Grossology Exhibit we are going to in Frisco this Tues and Wed. I don't know what your schedule is, but you are welcome to join us if you want! See if this link works, or just look at the newsletter on our website.

http://www.evite.com/pages/invite/viewInvite.jsp?inviteId...

Good luck finding friends! I know it can be frustrating... I hope you find fun people to hang with even if it isn't the AECPTA.

Take care, C.

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T.M.

answers from Dallas on

try www.meetup.com
I have found some great groups on there! Good luck.

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T.S.

answers from Dallas on

My best advice is go to meetup.com and look for a group for parents/mommies with kids your age in your geographic area. I found TONS of friends this way. We all have kids born in 2007, but there are ones with kids in 08 and that are probably in your specific area. They have playdates (morning, afternoons, weekends). It's been great for us. Hope that helps!

Y.I.

answers from Dallas on

Try meetup.com
There you can find any kind of group you want. You can join as many as you want. I wish I had found this when I moved here 4 years ago when I moved here. There are a lot of group that have children that get together.
Check it out and let me know what you think.
Lonie

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C.A.

answers from Dallas on

No you're not old or lame. Check meetup.com you can put in your zip code and search for all sorts of parenting meet ups. I hope this helps!

C.

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

The easiest way to meet people with kids your age is to be around people with kids your age. It will be easier once your daughter is in school, but here are some ideas. If you are out and you see another child about your child's age, engage the children. Tell you daughter, "oh, did you meet a friend?" then ask the child "what is your name". Chances are the parents are close by, so then talk to them "how old is your little girl?, oh, that's the same with us" think of questions you can ask ahead of time to make conversation like "how long have you lived in the area?, do you know of any great places to take kids this age?", etc. If all goes well, suggest you meet up again. Ask for a phone/e-mail and then keep in touch.

Another great way is to join a mom's group. Does your wife work? If so, it will be harder, but if not, there are MOPS groups at several of the local churches. I go to one at The church at the Cross in Grapevine. Their address is www.churchatthecross.com and they should have something about the MOPS group on the website, or just contact me and I'll send you the info on our next meeting. We meet once per month, child care is available during the meeting, but you get a chance to meet other moms with kids that are preschool age.

If you both work and your daughter is in school, ask the teacher which children she seems to enjoy playing with. Then, contact one of those families on the weekend and invite them over. You can start with a simple playdate at a park or at your house. If things go well and you hit it off, then maybe you can invite them over for lunch one day and the kids can play while you watch a football game or something.

Basically, if you want to make friends, you'll probably have to be outgoing and really work for the friendship at first.

E.C.

answers from Dallas on

If you are anything like MY family - get used to it...

We, as a family (and basically individually as well), have been friendless for the past 13 years.

I don't see it as a bad thing though. I used to try and try to get out there and meet people. My husband would "set me up" with wives/kids from his friends at work. Nothing. Every friendship we did have ended up being a bust.

I am to a point where I am just happy to have my family. When it all boils down to it, we are all we have; and who can you count on more than family?

When your daughter gets a bit older, you will be out doing more things around other families your age. You will come to look forward to those meetings and have fun with those families; but you will be glad to get home.

Try making traditions now within your family... game night, movie night, pic-nic night (at home on the floor or at a park), etc.

I don't think what you are feeling is that unusual at all! I think there are a lot of friendless families out there!

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J.C.

answers from Dallas on

I have the perfect idea for you! Join a Kindermusik class in your area! Go to www.kindermusik.com. This will be an educational event for your little girl, provide you with an opportunity to meet with many other families with children your daughter's age, and give you sound support in parenting! It is a win win win situation. In fact, I am a Kindermusik educator. If you would like me to help you find class that would fit your schedule, please call me!
Thanks!
J.
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C.P.

answers from Dallas on

If you hear of a place... let me know. I think more people than you realize are in the same boat!

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

My hubby and I are 26 and 30, we have a 17m daughter. We just moved back to the area and I feel the same way you do! We are trying to find friends with kiddos our age to hang out with.

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K.R.

answers from Dallas on

There are great playgroups listed at meetup.com
I have met a lot of fantastic moms & kids through that website, which has pretty good security, but you always want to use your best judgement when you meet new parents & kids.

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M.K.

answers from Dallas on

No your not alone.... a lot of us are in the same boat. I think it gets harder.. especially when your kids get older to meet other people. I am 43 and we have moved quite a bit. My kids are in high school. You do have an advantage... your daughter. Try to find playgroups to get her involved with... that way you meet other parents. Or, try to find some local hobby clubs. Just some ideas.

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E.P.

answers from Dallas on

Hi. Just a bit of sage advice from a woman fast approaching the "empty nest" stage of life - - don't worry too much about getting your toddler "out there" making friends right now, especially at this age and this time of year. There's a lot of viruses/bacteria out there: H1N1, whooping cough, pink eye, MRSA, etc. Stay home, stay healthy, and enjoy this peaceful time of your life when you have your child ALL to yourself. Get down on the floor and play with her every night. Little girls need gentle "rough-house" and "tickle" play from their dads just like little boys. Time flies by so fast. Soon enough you will feel like nothing more than her "chauffeur" driving her to gymnastics, ballet, cheerleading class, soccer, basketball, volleyball, or hockey practice!! ((It will feel like half of your life is being spent watching her and cheering her on from the sidelines. Lots of other DADS will be right there on the sidelines, too, so you'll make friends then.)) Then your daughter will be making her own friends and asking you to drive her and 3 other little girls to the movies - - then in a few more years . . . when she is 12 or 13, she'll be saying, "EEWE, NO, DAD, YOU'RE NOT COMING INTO THE MOVIES WITH US?!! NO, NO, COME BACK AND PICK US UP AFTER! SEE YA!" So, I am telling you and I hope it sinks in - - You don't have to rush things! Be stingy with this "baby" time and savor it.

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

go to story time at the library or go to a park and start talking to people. Church groups are a huge help, and if you are unable to make it on Sundays, your wife and daughter can go.(I do that with my kids) Most churches also have different activties during the weekdays also that your family can be involved with. Find a group to volenteer with- a school or a nursing home where they would welcome having a little one around.
It's hard to break through little social circles but keep trying! Hang out with some of the couples that you work with. Do a game night or get together to watch the cowboys. You will mostlikely have to start something to find some friendships. It might take a while(it's taken us about a year since we moved here!- but we were pretty laid back about finding friends). You'll find some other couples out there to be friends with.
don't give up!
~C.

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